Crushed cigarettes, crickets, and silence.

Back Porch Smoke

Family that is that is consistent in their love is priceless, friends that become family through unwavering effort and presence are impossible gifts.

Somewhere only we know (WFR Cover)

The way I described it on Reddit is that I’m the hermit. I’m used to being alone, even if it means burning bridges to protect my peace, but after enough time the isolation began to hurt me. No one is meant to be left alone permanently. So this song is about what it feels like to be forgotten, how it feels to remember you need people to be ok only after having burned many bridges. You can’t apologize to people who’ve moved on about you but that won’t stop you from feeling sorry, or missing what you fucked up.


Lyrics:

Go by the coffee shop every other week 
Hang at the tracks after dinner or a drink
Go for a run to wake up in the morning caught me off guard when

I saw you, him, him, and her
Fucking around where we used to meet
I held still, still breathing hard
Then you’re all gone after I blink

That’s the first time in weeks 
Seeing the ghosts of souls I love
To know you’re out there breathing
Gives me the strength to keep waking up

I know we’re older now
So I’m to blame if the distance keeps
I’ve never called you up
Cause I know you’d be here if you needed

So I reminisce

See your parents when they text they need a thing
Sit on their porch with old teller to read
Opened the book with photos of all us
Tears in my eyes cause

I see you, him, him, and her
Fucking around on a sunny beach
We’re kids young, broke and dumb
Then you’re gone after I blink

That’s the first time in months
Seeing the ghost of souls I loved
To know you’re out there somewhere
Give me the strength to keep waking up

We’re so much older now
I’m to blame if the distance keeps
I’ve never called you up
Cause I know you don’t feel these things

So I reminisce

I see you him, him, and her
Fucking around on a far street
You turn around , I fall apart
Then I don’t feel like this one’s a dream

It’s the first time in years
Seeing a ghost of the souls I love
I don’t know if I’m breathing
But I know I don’t want to wake up

I know we’re older now
Still speechless when you ask why
I never called u up
Said u thought about it all this time

You hug just as tightly
As someone I used to know
And the ghost inside of me
Holds a friend who just turned dust

Alarms sound as I wake up
Dry eyed after all of it
Years since I felt the love
So I reminisce


Like and follow here, on my insta @Cellwarrior, my TikTok @wallflowerrising, or my subscribe to my YouTube @LastFewWords for any old originals or covers you might want to check out or for sneak peaks on whatever I’m working on next. Thank you for listening! Walk in kindness✌🏿

Nostalgia (I remember now, I’m sorry)

Being friends w/ both people after a break up is somewhat irritating, because knowing you know other like they do  they’ll tell you what they want to tell them. All the while you think “ Then fucking tell them, not me.” Fighting is understandable but staying apart when you could both talk something out, and having the other be the only subject of every conversation is nonsense. 

Honesty heals, even if you think they won’t understand, they don’t have to understand everything you feel to appreciate the effort in your vulnerability. Cry, hug, and decide together whether what you have is healthy or toxic, be real about that shit in the moment. Emotionally tap dancing around one another only puts your shared relationships in jeopardy, and that’s kinda lame.

Tell them not me

I basically had written down the choruses firstly as a shitty poem I wrote about a painful memory, I thought it’d make for a better song.

My attempt at poetry

A most silent change. 
“I’m fucked now in ways I’m just realizing. 
With you I was brave, alone frightened. 
So I had to change and, unlike you, I gave up. 
Myself now to blame we talk while I hide this. 
Since I’ve ran away, I embraced a darkness, a loneliness staying where you were once brightest. 
A most silent change, far louder than the violence that brought us together, I’m sorry I’m not who you loved, who you still seem to.”
There it is again.
 A most silent change.

Call it an attempt to dig back into my original writing style as well. Hopefully I can keep improving, this needs many more voices, and to be somewhat shorter. Problems for a later time I suppose. Hope you enoyed the listen! Oh, I was asking my dog if she needed attention cause she was acting funny🤷🏿‍♂️ Like, follow, and share for more music, potentially.

A Most Silent Change

Off again (You left your shit at my place)

When you give up on someone, you learn to listen through what they have to say. Suddenly everything that had you interested, every thing they could do to convince you to stay is as unconvincing as it was once heartfelt. So when someone asks you to mend things  after having listened to your ex share how they felt, you don’t owe any explanation as to why you don’t want them back. 

If they fucked up, they fucked up. You, having been in the relationship, will hopefully have learned to listen through whatever they’re saying to get you back; even if it feels wrong to say no bc you miss something about them. Your gut won’t lie, most are replaceable, and your doubt is valid. You’re not just now able to hear the bullshit, you’re finally understanding the language, and few will know them like you do. Don’t get gaslit back into something bad for you.

Double Entendre (Listening not feeling)

Here. You stay close enough to answer & all of my questions fade in your eyes. A slow rush, an inconsummate cadence, alone in an intimate unfurling of trust. In a soulful shade of love, I am left speechless in what we’ve made for each other. 

I wrote this when I back when I was genuinely happy with someone. No games were played, no fights, just real connection. When you have something like that once, you don’t want anything less. Everyone that fails to give you the same spark, the same comfort, is immediately uninteresting. But as lonely as it can refusing to settle for anything less for a time, your expectations don’t feel unrealistic because they’re validated by firsthand experience.

So when you know what real love feels like you don’t want anything less authentic than the real shit, and everyone that wants you is subject to a standard they might not understand for themselves, and that’s ok. It’s your heart to be fickle with, yours to understand and theirs to lose if they can’t understand it themselves.

Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.

An inconsummate Cadence v2

23:45, 12/30/2253 :
This savior 3, supply wellness transmission 364.
We are low on oxygen.
Lower on food.
We were hit pretty bad by surrounding debris.
But we are well aware of what will become of us.

The planet we were supposed seed has burned
Turned to ash by a meteor that claimed the world before our very eyes.

Our last chance to start again somewhere, gone.
I thought it’d be us that (unintelligible) it up somehow after landing, and settling down.
But it seems fate wanted nothing more to do with us.


This may well be the last message we’re capable of sending to you.
Know that we were committed. 
That we tried. 
That against every adversity not one person on this ship doubted our chances but me.
From the mouth of a man who left earth without hope. Seeing their efforts, 
Their hope, 
Before take off, all the way through hell to get here, it was inspiring.

I hope, we hope, the next of man kind to try succeeds. Know that we didn’t fail by any fault of our own, we just unlucky. 

But you might not be.
Please keep trying.
(Unintelligible)

This is Savior 3, signing off.

Savior3 (Keep trying)

This is about being the caretaker friend and wanting the best for someone who seemingly can’t change. How even if they’d have to leave you you wouldn’t mind if they found what you know was meant for them. That can be the hardest part though, convincing someone they deserve better when they’re convinced they’re worthless. 
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Lyrics (some may have changed)
I'll walk away and I'll try to find
Some semblance of home / Somewhere I belong
Go my own way, leave it all behind
Cause I know I meant to find (better days)

So many people holding on to pain 
Harder to love with a torn heart
Say all the pressure drives them insane
I'm sick of treating battle scars

Why live the moment for second time
If we only have life
Don't hide feelings saying I'm fine 
We'll talk it through as a pass time

Don't hide feelings saying I'm fine 
We'll talk it through till you say to me

I'll walk away and I'll try to find
Some semblance of home / Somewhere I belong
Go my own way, leave it all behind
Cause I know I meant to find better days

Some of my people drink away the pain
Guess waking up sober feels too hard
Sure you can spend the night but
Seeing you hurting breaks my heart

 
Don't hide feelings saying I'm fine 
We'll talk it through till you say to me

I'll walk away and I'll try to find
Some semblance of home / Somewhere I belong
Go my own way, leave it all behind
Cause I know I meant to find (better days)

BETTER DAYS (Demo)

A song about the illusions in one sided love, the regret of unshared feelings,and being captivated by a stranger you pictured a future with (love at first sight). The lyrics are intentionally vague, as they refer to each of these situations. Funny how we can pour our hopes into and have dreams about someone we know nothing about. Sometimes someone genuinely catches you off guard and you get caught in the mystery that is them and the story behind what lead to them being in front of you, all common sense just disappears. Wanna support me? Find and follow my insta @cello_warrior. I’m relatively new to writing and sharing my originals. Following me gives you the chance to hear my songs before others, have a say in whether I write more originals or do covers, and get some insight to my background and life. It also gives me the motivation to keep making music, I struggle sometimes. Thanks for listening, you don’t know what it means to me. 
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Lyrics (some may have changed)
Mystery, shoulda known better than to let you in
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been

Somethin grand, white picket fence and neighborly friends
What we could stand, I'd be your defense and  I'd let you in

My heart as it grows in you
And you'd help me get better
Rough start as I don't get you
And I could've been better


Mystery, shoulda known better than to let you in
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been
My story goes on without you, and your misery seeks to haunt me 
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been

Something gold, I'd give you a ring you'd give one to me
We'd grow old, I'd give you everything what you'd give to me

My heart set to stone in you
You make me wanna be better
Rough start, I'm afraid to lose you
I know I could've been better

Mystery, shoulda known better than to let you in
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been
My story goes on without you, and your misery seeks to haunt me 
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been

Mystery, I coulda been better been a better man
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been
My story goes on without you, and the mystery seeks to haunt me 
Mystery, we coulda been better bet we coulda been

Time goes on and on, my story keeps without end
I dream long, and on what we both know we coulda been

Mystery, I coulda been better been a better man
Mystery, I shoulda been better and I coulda been
My story goes on without you, and the mystery seeks to haunt me 
Mystery, we coulda been better if I coulda been

(We coulda been better bet we coulda been)
(We coulda been better and I shoulda been)

MYSTERY Demo (MISERY/My story/ Ms. Story)

There’s a lyric and description of its meaning on my insta, Cello_warrior. Look me up on insta, leave a like if you enjoyed, and follow me for a heads up on what else I’m working on from time to time. Thanks for the listen. Sorry for writing another kinda sad song😅 write what you know and all.

Not so seasonal depression

I've played the cello for over 13 years, guitar for about 8, & I mess around on a keyboard. Enjoy my foolish moosical escapades.

LAST FEW WORDS

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