A Bert & B-dawg Production

Welcome one and all, its your favorite time of year
You’ve been patiently waiting, for this joyous song of cheer 
Gonna try something different, a new twist on the poem 
Extending the invite, your festive winter home 
Grab your beer and your boots, fresh pack of ciggy diggys 
December 16th, were gettin, really shitty 
Now I smile as I say, with a twinkle in my eye
Merry Bertmas to all, the gals and the guys!

The night, yuletide party
The night were getting totally blitzed
Fill that thermos with some, Irish coffee
Roast your chestnuts by the fire pit..

Well the game plan is simple, get drunk, and say fuck it
Throw your cares out the window, try not to vomit.
Doesn’t matter at all, if you’re nice or you’re naughty
Cause Bertmas was built on that sweet, sweet debauchery 
Now dig out that sweater, the uglier the better
Game faces on, were getting fucken shittered 
Start sharing the message, to friends far and near 
Cause the Good Word of Bertmas is, Finally Here! Tell em bout..

The night, of the, festive party
The night were gettin right ripped 
Now you, can’t hardly, walk around the backyard 
Without stumblin or trippin on shit 

There'll be bottles of jag, and even some rye
We'll have seltzers, tequilla, and drugs 
enough to make a grown man cry 
oh the beer bongs are flowin, the shotgunns are goin
and everyones ridin a high, of their lives
my my my my my my 
Bertmas is such a jolly time 

Morning after, you might be doing time
woke up in the drunk tank, can't remember why
Hey little friend now, don’t you cry no more tears 
You'll be out on good behaviour, for Bertmas next year!
Where the carollings garbage, cause everyones gibbled 
and your boy Kris Kringle, ya well, he's just crippled
Now raise up your glasses, shout it out loud and clear 
Bertmas is my favorite, time of year! Yell it out..

the night, of the sloppy rager
the night the kids can let lose
blackin out, makin, poor decisions 
Sounds to me like just the right amount of booze 

Whoa oh, the night, Feliz Navidad
I dunno, I don’t really speak French,
How bout the, eggnog? Oh It's loaded with whiskey
Just Crush it back and let your Bertmas loose
I tell ya, crush it back and let your Bertmas loose
Why don’t ya, crush it back and let your Bertmas loose

Bert Mansack