Music by @user-467888932
Lyrics and vocals by @brianvaughn
Photo by Eduardo Garcia-Nieto (unsplash.com/@edugarcianieto)

"Back to the Beginning"

I'm sorry for the way I can't sit with how I feel.
I thought I could bury the parts that were bad.

Oh, the things that we try to believe...

I don't know what I believe.
I don't know what to think about me.

  These are predictable things.
  We act the same ways and nothing here changes.
  So I dissociate again.
  I don't know how to be a friend without falling apart.

We try again but we only get further down in the hole we're in.
We cut into each other's skin trying to hold onto this.
I don't blame you for the things that happened in the past,
But somehow we've got to move past it.

Sometimes it is what you think and all you can do is leave.
But where would that leave me?

  These are predictable things.
  We act the same ways and nothing here changes.
  So I dissociate again.
  I don't know how to be a friend without falling apart.

And then what would I do?
I'm afraid to lose the little things.

I guess that's life though.
You can't hold onto everyone.
It doesn't matter how hard you try.
Just give it a little time, it's almost always alright.
Don't just try to avoid any pain.
It's okay to feel something even when you feel afraid.
I wish I'd learned these things in an easier way, so they didn't hurt anyone.
I wish I knew what to say to fix this thing,
To take it back to the beginning.

Back to the Beginning (feat. TedStedt)

Music by @viperdrivemusic
Lyrics and vocals by @brianvaughn

"Indigo Dreams"

She's off in search of satisfaction
I know that she's never coming back
I set out in the opposite direction
Got lost as soon as she walked away

Are you happy like that?
Not knowing where you're going?
Don't be sad; at least you'll move faster on your own
Do you ever look back?
Half of the fight is knowing
All of these questions I'm asking myself but I'll never know

Looking back it was never that bad
We had the same problems everyone had
But I had my work and you had your TV
We never knew how to talk about our feelings
Eventually I guess they went away

I've been running for three years in the opposite direction
But it doesn't matter because California's got the papers
Are these mistakes that I have made or just normal scars?
Will I ever rid myself of the feeling?

I hate talking to you.
I hate having to.
I hate talking to you.

I'll take care of things like I always do.

Indigo Dreams (feat. Viperdrive)

Music by @acenthevibes
Lyrics and vocals by @brianvaughn
Photo by Javardh (unsplash.com/@_javardh_001)

"She Said"

How'd we get this way?
I'll never know
I've tried to reconstruct and think of things that I could have changed
But I think that there's no way to win that game

Given what we know about each other
What the hell was running through our heads?
I hope you're happier now
If no other good thing comes from this

You can't fix this thing by running away
The things inside always come along
There's just somethings you're always going to take
No matter where you go
You turn around, and there you are

So what were we thinking?
What was running through our heads?
I hope you're happier now
If no other good thing comes from this

Rock bottom dropped out
With no where left to turn
Throw out the thunder and the sun
And wrestle with the lessons that we've learned

The words you said bounce around in my mind
Even after all this time, I can't let them go
I hope you're happier now,
If no other good thing comes

She Said (feat. Cedric Dhaenens)

Music by @remarkableartist
Lyrics and vocals by @brianvaughn
Photo by Adrian N (unsplash.com/@anewevisual)

"You and I"

You want to know
You need to know this

Harder to look back
Damn this hindsight

Sometimes things can end before they've even started
You and I
There's no solution for a broken heart but time

I want to tell you something I know
I want to tell you
After I've thought about it, I realize I want to tell you

There's a guilt I've felt
I picked it up on my way out
I know it doesn't help you
But even so, I can't shake it

I watched you fall in and I didn't stop it

Sometimes things can end before they've even started
You and I
There's no solution for a broken heart but time

You and I (feat. Mark Miller)

Music by Igor Rabovsky
Lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Photo by Jane Duursma (unsplash.com/@madebyjane)

"It Doesn't Matter"

Our bodies rise and fall with the ocean tide
The sun shines down its light on the shore line

It doesn't matter like before
You're already free

I wish you knew
I wish you thought about-

Go on and fight your war
It doesn't matter like it did before
Wrapped up in a blanket on the living room floor

It doesn't matter like before
You're already free
It doesn't matter like before
What do you need?
I'm letting you down
This is not some kind of dream
Don't you cry

I wish you knew
I wish you thought about-

It Doesn't Matter (feat. Igor Rabovsky)

Music by @gh0stmartini
Lyrics and vocals by @brianvaughn
Photo by Kevin Escate (unsplash.com/photos/CTUbHburM14)

I don't love the way I'd like to,
but it's not because I didn't try.
I just changed my mind.

If you believe it– what can I say?
If you believe it, why should I even try?
There's no one there.
You're gone already.

I don't say the things you want me to.
Your insecurities–
The ways you pick at me-
Make me want to hide from you.

Wake to the damage.
Glance at your messages,
So I'll remember just how far apart we've grown.
You won't let it go. You won't let it go.
And I won't say "goodbye".
We push and pull at each other.

You say I'm distant and you say I'm selfish,
But if I abuse myself, what good am I to anyone else?
You and I are caught in the undertow.
It's the same old fucking story.

If you believe it– what can I say?
I don't want to shout over you,
and you don't leave any room for me.

Caught in the undertow...

Just when you thought that this was over–
Swept out our feet and now you're back again.

If you believe it

Music by Jordan Morris (reddit.com/u/Zealousideal-Pin445)
Lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Image by Caleb White (unsplash.com/@caleb_white)

The sun don't shine when you're around.
And it's been two years now.
We assumed it was my fault,
Like maybe I'm broken, or something else.
When my relationships have so much instability,
and I'm the only common link.

We're going around in another circle.
Spiral around in another circle.

Tell me what you thought you said,
and I'll tell you what it meant to me.
You don't know everything.
I put you on a pedastool
That you just couldn't live up to
And I expected the impossible from you.

You did the same to me.

I stayed up late to be around,
And now I'm sleep walking.
I wanted to fix this,
But maybe I'm looking for something else?
That is such a bitter pill to swallow.
Sunk costs fallacy.

There are so many poems in two years.
So many songs.

We're going around in another circle.
Spiral around in another circle.

Circles

Music by Dave Marnocha (@segfaultofficial)
Lyrics and Vocals by Brian Vaughn
Image by Caleb White (unsplash.com/@caleb_white)

You told me what it meant to you.
And we talked about it.
Now we're not talking,
but I'm not mad at all.

Hello to the city,
To the lights and the sirens.
I haven't been the man I thought I would be.
If you look, you won't find me where I thought I would be.

You told me what it meant to you,
and I didn't recognize it.
Our perspective changes things.

Hello to my city!
I haven't felt alive for a long time.
For always and always and always.

You're London in December.

In case you're wondering, I can tell you.
I'm not mad.
I'm just moving on.

In March we drew a line–
(walked away)
Put up a boundary-
And it was the right decision,
At least for me.

You're London in December.

Before you called it
Before you'd fallen–
I was there,
and you were there for me.

It's hard to think about,
Even after all this time.
I still cry when I hear "Holocene".

You're London in December.

I don't remember (why it all crashed down).
I don't remember.

London In December

Music by Rhys Jones
Lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Image by Caleb White (unsplash.com/@caleb_white)

You're all living in my head.
Until tomorrow, I'll carry you around.

Going to the beach today.
I'm a one armed airplane,
Hanging out the window of the car.
I still want a lot of things,
But at least for this moment we both found someone to love.

I think of you when I think of yesterday.

When I look back upon those years,
I think about you often,
And how you shaped the person I've become.
Life separates, but you don't feel so far away,
Because I know you'll always be there.
You'll always be a part of me.

We don't often talk about it.
We're scared of what we'll find if we look too close at just how far apart we are.
I'm not ready to grow up and let go of you.
I'm holding on.

I'm holding on to yesterday.

When I look back upon those years,
I think about you often,
And how you shaped the person I've become.
Life separates, but you don't feel so far away,
Because I know you'll always be there.
You'll always be a part of me.

Tomorrow won't be as good as yesterday.

I think of you.
You're tangled up in my thoughts of yesterday.

Yesterday

Music by Dave Marnocha (@segfaultofficial)
Lyrics and Vocals by Brian Vaughn
Image by Caleb White (unsplash.com/@caleb_white)

So it is.
This is the story.

Back with hindsight,
I should know that we made the right decision.
All of our friends told us the truth.
I was so out of pocket with you.
One at a time, our excuses fell down,
and we were left with the ruins of each other.
I tried to support you but I got hurt
And so I let go.

This is the story.
This is the story of how we fell apart.

I think I'm finally close to feeling whole.
I think I've processed the anger.
And I hope you were able to let it go.
I've learned a lot about myself.
I wouldn't go back to how things were before,
but I wish I hadn't wasted so much time.

Maybe I'm not special, but I'd like to be.

I think that it's important that I do this for me.

This is the story.
I know we can't shy away from it,
Although it can hurt to remember.
This is the story of how we fell apart.

The Story

Music by Jordan Morris
Lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Image by Caleb White (unsplash.com/@caleb_white)

It doesn't matter who's right
Probably half the time, it's you, and the other half doesn't matter.
One thing I've learned with time is to pick your fights–
and always take a breath before shouting out whatever's on your mind.
The other night, I wanted to stay and work it out with you

They say the best time to talk about these things is when you're feeling them,
So that you don't go to bed when you're upset.
Because hurt will grow,
And before you know you're looking back and wondering,
How'd we get so far apart?

Why didn't I notice that you were drifting away from me?
I got too focused on my work, and I left you a distant second place,
Too far away from me.
Too far away.

The best time to talk about these things is when you're feeling them,
So that you don't go to bed when you're upset.
Because hurt will grow,
And before you know you're looking back and wondering,
How'd we get so far apart?

Looking Back

Lyrics and music by Brian Vaughn
Image by Caleb White (unsplash.com/@caleb_white)

If you're going out again, take me with you.
I'm a mess when I'm left here.
It's not your fault that I'm so broken.
I'm the product of a series of mistakes I made before you met me.

I believe that "choice" is just a joke,
And we all do our best with what we have.
That counts double after our mistakes,
Because we could only do exactly what we did.

So go easy on your yourself.
Go easy on your yourself.

Go Easy (unplugged)

Lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Music by Igor Rabovsky

---

"One Name"

Watch me dig a hole and bury myself
I see fewer problems underground
Sometimes I don't know what's happening
Jackpot
It's paying off to keep my head down
Keep my head down

I ache
Skin and teeth all turn to gray
Bones under water hold the canvas in place
Don't go looking if you cannot bear the weight

There's still one name
Wash me
I'm unclean again
I can't turn it off now
I'm unclean again

My face
If you don't like it, you can leave
It's worse inside
Don't rush to judge me

Waking up from Revelation has me second guessing everything
Always feeling paranoid is the biggest gift that you gave me
Or was it guilt
Sometimes it's hard to think
Sometimes it's hard

There's still one name
Wash me
I'm unclean again

Washed away
Out of mind

Do you believe
And what are the consequences
Do you believe
Can you say it
Can you say the name

Will you deny me

One Name(feat. Lecture on Nothing)

Music, lyrics, and performance by Brian Vaughn

Stay out all night until you don't mean anything.
This is the way I feel.
Can't talk, I might show my hand. Put it in. Say it anyway.
Deal with the place I'm in.

Take down this wall that you raise between you and everything.
It's been too long since you let me in.

Are you the same?
Or am I going down now, stretching myself out.
Our time away..
Tomorrow's coming so fast.
It'll burn you away.

Try it on. Take it off.
You can be anything you want to be.
What we are and what we're not I don't even know.
Take it in. Take a breath.
Anything that's left is up for grabs now.
It's coming so fast.
A quiet step away is what you want from me,
And I'd give you anything but this.

Burn You Away

Music, lyrics, and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Photo by Lerone Pieters (unsplash.com/@leronep)

There you are again
Break the boundary I left
Make my phone ring when I just want to be alone
Do you love or do you hate me?
The question breaks me
I don't think I'll ever know
I don't think you'll know,
For all your books and all your searching
Like I was a poem
Like I was just lines on a paper
Strung out on a crowded train
Simple words,
So you say I'll always be beneath you
It's ironic, how you thought you knew everyone around you
You were so sure
You tried to read me but didn't understand
Like I was a poem on the subway
Every card in the deck
Forgive me, I regret
You're coming out of nowhere
Making me uneasy
The world is surely full of paper
So I'll write this down
Wed the words to sound,
And then I'll try to forget about
You read me like you're bored already
Like I'm just lines on a paper
Strung out on a crowded train
Simple words,
So you say I'll always be beneath you
It's ironic, how you thought you knew everyone around you
You were so sure that you could read me
But you don't understand
Like I was a poem on the subway

A Poem on the Subway

Music and lyrics by Brian Vaughn
Photo by Cedric Letsch (unsplash.com/@cedricletsch)

About the time I'm getting home from work in California,
You're laying down my nephew in a bed back in Virginia.
Distance is a funny thing.
I feel the miles a little more today.

The cold sets in back home around this time of year.
Bath tubs offer comfort for our bones.
And winter decorations, from the boxes to the table,
Tell a story of the years that come and go.

Oh...
Home in California, here I go.

Cool without being cold.
A room that never really feels like home.
I guess it's only obvious and hindsight shows it best,
The price you pay for striking out alone.

Oh...
off to California.

Sing it out. Sing it loud.
These thin walls and that empty couch- things that I'm finding out.
Sing it out. Feel the sound.
The rooftops of apartments downtown are all too close together but so far away.

Seaside and the 101,
Redwoods and the California sun-
Beautiful reminders to let it go,
To stop and smile once and a while.
All in all there's nothing wrong.
I just have a tendency to over analyze.
It's natural to question and to second guess,
And it's hard not to romanticize, here in California.

Sing it out. Sing it loud.
No matter where you go you leave parts of yourself is something that I'm finding out.
Sing it out. Feel the sound.
The thin walls in apartments downtown don't bring anyone together.

Oh, I'll tell.
Out here in the El Dorado state
There's a tremor I just felt
From within myself,
An echo from far away.

Home in California (revisited)

My cover of Seven Mary Three's "Water's Edge"

Water's Edge (Seven Mary Three cover)

New original. I hope you find it enjoyable. And if you're willing to leave a comment, I'd love to hear your feedback. :)

Lyrics, for those who like them:

Grey fisted clouds in the sky. Plaid skirt and innocent eyes, 
And I am no longer sane. 
Small road, stop sign ahead. Slow intersection. Big hotel bed. 
Oh, my mind seems to have drifted away.

If you call for me I'll know this is a dream, 
And as stupid as it seems- I'll wake.

Bright blue sky all around. Cows on the highways and fire on the ground. 
And I've come here but I don't know why. 
Misguided grasp on the truth. Gold and silver but nothing for you. 
I have better things in mind.

Don't reach for me. Things are never what they seem. 
I'd kiss you if I could but it'd only be a dream. 
And don't call my name from any other state, 
As pointless as it seems- I'd wake.

Oh, my mind. My mind.

Broom handle twins in the sky. 
Two pairs of mean little eyes.

If you hold onto me I'll know this is a dream. 
Invite me in your room and I won't stay asleep. 
If your behavior should change, I'll know that it's fake 
And though I won't want to, 
Though I'll fight to stay, 
Though it's unfair- I'll wake.

Oh, My Mind

This is my cover of "Blown Away" by Shiny Toy Guns: www.shinytoyguns.com
If you like it at all, I recommend checking them out. They're great.

All instruments, vocals, mixing, etc. performed by me.

Lyrics, for those who like them:

Days..
I haven't seen days.
Just solid water down my face.
Days..
I've missed so many days.
In a world that has become an unfamiliar place.
Now to you, I'm just an unfamiliar face.

I'm losing myself again.
You swore you'd be around this time.

When revelation calls and everything is blown away.

Will you still be there?
With your heart boarded up, nailed with my mistakes.
Should I start giving up, or am I too late?

I'm losing myself again.
Turning us into friends this time.

When revelation calls and everything is blown away.

Sheltered days, everybody wants more.
And take it away, everybody wants yours.
These sheltered days, everybody wants more.
We never change.

Blown Away (Shiny Toy Guns cover)

Working on some new originals but thought I'd post a cover from a while back in the meanwhile.. :)

Video available @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qGmqOKYv7Y

Extraterrestrial (Katy Perry cover)

My cover of "Let Go" by Frou Frou.

All music performed and mixed by me.

Let Go (Frou Frou cover)

All music, lyrics, and production by Brian Vaughn.

Stop.
Don't say another word to me.
You can see it on my face.
I've got nothing but time.
When it comes to you I'm so weak.
I can't stand on my own feet.
I can't walk away.
Stop taking over thoughts again.
I can't focus when you do.
You know I've got my own life.
When it comes to you I'm a child.
I lose sense of what is real.
There's no harmony here.

And if it's come to this again,
I know you hate to say "I told you so".
And I hate to hear it.
But it is what it is and what it's always been,
And so we'll have to deal with it.

Start moving now.
Don't stand still.
Before it changes our minds,
Or changes mine.
These second thoughts can kill.
When it comes to bad intentions,
It's better not to question.
Let your body do the talking.
I'm listening with mine.

Oh, hallelu.
This is the proof I needed, not a secret chord.
Your beauty overthrows me when I'm most vulnerable.
And this is all I ever learned of love.

We should stop, but your eyes say no.
Oh reign it in before it goes any further.
I don't know who's in control,
But it sure isn't me.
My mind's in slow motion.

Don't keep me waiting,
Just do what you're going to do.
There's a certain something in the air.
I can't remember if I was touching you the moment before..
Oh, hallelu.

Red light. Green light.
Red light. Green light.
Stop.
Don't keep me waiting.

Red Light, Green Light

Music and lyrics by Brian Vaughn.

Lyrics ---

Long time love always hit the road running. 
Got a hairpin trigger and a problem with drinking. 
You brought your mouth to a gun fight darling. 
Automatic mind got the last word coming around.

And if you didn't know, now you know.

Your eyes- [I'm finally listening]- have got something to tell me. 
Your eyes- [What are they trying to say?]- are as vacant as the sky.

Ready set go, you can cuddle with a pillow. 
Got my mind on you honey but you're wasting my time. 
Talking may be cheap but I'm not a beginner. 
Always got my eye on the exit door when you're around.

Fooled me once baby, but not again.

Your eyes- [I'm finally listening]- have got something to tell me.
Your eyes- [What are they trying to say?]- are as vacant as the sky.
Your eyes- [Not hiding anything]- can probably see through me.
Your eyes- [Will never go away]- make me naked inside.

In a western state, all's quiet now.

Listen I think you and me have got a problem. 
And I'll shoulder the blame, if that's what it takes to get to solving it. 
I've got a whole lot of time's been wasted on this. 
No I'm not trying to say that you promised me anything. 
When you didn't. You didn't.

Don't look at me that way. Your eyes burn into me. 
And I lose my mind. It's hard to concentrate. 
I thought I knew this game. Your eyes dismantle me. 
And I compromise, like it's reason I came.

Your eyes- [I'm finally listening]- have got something to tell me.
Your eyes- [What are they trying to say?]- are as vacant as the sky.
Your eyes- [Not hiding anything]- can probably see through me.
Your eyes- [Will never go away]- make me naked inside.

On the open road, I'll be quiet now.

Your Eyes

New song. Started off as an up-beat acoustic song but then turned into... this.

Lyrics and music by Brian Vaughn.

Love, love, love...

Look up and down. 
There are shapes in the clouds, 
And ants on the ground who march in line, 
To the roots of a tree, 
Whose bark carries the name, 
Of a girl whose boy thought her worth the mark.

Oh what it must feel like to have your surface scarred, 
And for something so inconsequential as love.

Look in and out, 
And don't forget your frown. 
Put your hands on the places you don't like. 
You can wish you were me, 
But I'm in the same place, 
There is no one here who doesn't have their scars.

You might not want me to say, 
But let's call it what it is: love

I've got a lot of love, got a lot of love for you.

Oh what it would feel like to live your life alone?
I don't want to know.
And I swear there's something about you.
There's an energy we draw on in close proximity.
I don't want to go.
I swear I'm feeling it right now.

Love.

Love

Lyrics and music by Brian Vaughn.


I shouldn't have to say this, but I can't stand this silence.
And I wonder if you know what i'm going through.
It seems way too common for words and acts to disagree,
But I expected more from you.
I told you so, sitting right there.

What does it say about me [anything?] that I gave you my trust so soon?
You shouldn't have accepted.
You know what you did.

If you understand me, congratulations,
But I want more than that,
And you know where I can be found.
If you want me than pursue me.
If I'm worth it just let it show.

I can handle it.
I'm not afraid of these things.
Ask yourself am I a risk that you will take? 
Just what am I to you?
I could be strong.
I could be there for you if you'll only tell me what you've been hiding

Honesty is best.
I don't care if you fall apart- I'll catch you.
But I cannot keep guessing what this silence means.

If you understand me then you should know this.
I am cut off from every one I see, but you.
You reminded me of something- a piece of me that I thought was dead.
So please don't leave.
Don't leave me like I was before.

I'm not desperate.
I'm not begging.
I just wish that you could see the potential in between us.
All the things that this could be.
Tell me what I'm going through [word for word].
You can repeat what I just said.
I don't care.
Just something to remind me that I'm not alone in here.

Expectations & Assumptions

"Covered and Marked" was co-written with my friend Gor Narang.

Brian Vaughn: Guitar, Vocals, Bass, Strings
Gor Narang: Drums, Guitar, Backup Vocals

Lyrics for those who like them:

Cold hands.
I held them in.
I gave you my warmth like a child gives his laugh.
Free fall through the night air.
Near the train tracks there's a field,
And I'll meet you there.

Straight road into the night.
You'll call in time before I drift away.
Sun peeks down on my face.
Another night without sleep.

If you were to wake alone,
Would you note the place where I lay?

Back in this hole, I hide away.
Memories for each mistake that I've made.
Song in the air, floating your way,
Covered and marked with your name.

If I were to call you, would you come for me?
I am going under with the thoughts of you and me.

Covered and Marked (feat. Gor Narang)

Music by Ben Sharp (aka Cloudkicker - http://cloudkicker.bandcamp.com)
Vocals and lyrics by Brian Vaughn

I've enjoyed Cloudkicker for some time now. With the release of "Let Yourself Be Huge" I emailed Ben and asked him if I could add vocals to one of his songs. (Nothing official, more of a tribute.) He was kind enough to say "go for it", and this is the result.

---
Peeking through your fingers, have a look around.
You were born to search and find what can be found.
Here, in this place.
Nervous child reaction.
Barely in control.
Such a young mistake that you'd assume a chastened pose.

Explore these grounds.
Be curious, not ashamed.
Don't be afraid to know the place you stand.
Explore yourself.
Be curious.
No one here knows everything.
Your body's just another ground.

Growing up in silence,
Wandering through the aisles
Sitting in the corners trying not to shine.
You hide your light.
Searching through the waters of your teenage mind.
Rifling through their answers you may find them all to be inferior.

Explore these grounds.
Be curious.
Explore yourself.

You're more than just a candle that generates a light.
You are something beautiful.
Do not fear your mind.
These thoughts are only natural.

"Explore, Be Curious" - Cloudkicker feat. Brian Vaughn on vocals

"No, just say it", she said.
I'll give you something to smile about.
I would fall into your arms, but since I can't I'm with someone else.

Don't say it. Don't say it..

Love come back,
I remember now, how it goes.
I left my heart within your grasp and you didn't notice it.

"I'm so hungry", she said,
But there was more she suggested
You're so far away from me.
You're like a boy on the television.

Love come back,
I remember now, how it goes.
I left my heart within your grasp and you didn't notice it.

Love come back.
I'll give you a second chance.
I left my heart within your grasp and you couldn't handle it.

Don't say it. Don't say it..

No, Say It

Words and music by me.

Lyrics:

Love is trying to find a way around,
Somebody else who's laying down,
Right in the way of where I want to go.

These words have many meanings.
I'm not just walking blindly any more.
And if you'd lend me your ear, I want to tell you something.

I love parts of you, but some of the rest I could do without.
Do you feel the same way about me?
You're so beautiful,
Except the lack of personality.
But I think I could overlook that.

Thinking of the future shows you're living in the past.
Sometimes it's best to just let it go if you love someone.
Isn't that what it's all about?
Isn't that what this song's about?

I saw the first star tonight,
And I made a wish upon it,
While I was driving around.
Trying to make up my mind.
What I'm going to say to you.
When did I get so timid?
Why can't I make a move?
I've been living under your shadow for such a long time.

Sit back and tell me you want me half as much as you did a year ago.
I won't think this is just me til you convince me so.
I've got nothing to stay for any more.

This place holds nothing, but we don't want to talk abou it.
I'd leave with nothing but the shirt on my back.

Parts of You

This weekend I was thinking about artists that I used to enjoy listening to in highschool. Toad the Wet Sprocket came to mind, and I thought it would be fun to cover one of their songs. I've always liked "Pray Your Gods" - even though the chorus is a bit too happy sounding for me - because of the haunting ending. (As an aside, I learned that the phrase being repeated, "dona nobis pacem", means "grant us peace".)

Anyway... my goal wasn't to reproduce the song, but to remake it into something darker and moodier. I'm really happy with what I've gotten so far but I still need to work on the ending. I'm looking for some kids to sing the latin bit, either along with (or instead of me). I'd also like to build up the strings a bit more than they currently do.

Music/vocals by Brian Vaughn.
Special thanks to Jessica Landry, Jaymie Inouye, Julia Inouye, Stanley Inouye, and Trevor Inouye for choral vocals at the song's closing.

Lyrics:
I will give the secrets you request,
And you will be the one to sacrifice.
So lay your olive arms across my breast,
And sing the poems, free the butterflies.

Pray your gods who ask you for your blood,
For they are strong and angry jealous ones,
Or lay upon my altar now your love.
I fear my time is short.
There are armies moving close.
Be quick, my love..

I feel my body weakened by the years,
As people turn to gods of cruel design.
Is it that they fear the pain of death?
Or could it be they fear the joy of life?

Pray your gods who rule you by your fear,
For they are quick and ruthless punishers.
Or lay upon my altar now your love.
I fear my time is short.
There are armies moving on.
Be quick, my love.

Dona nobis pacem. (Grant us peace.)

Pray Your Gods

Original music and lyrics by Vienna Teng.

Photo by NASA (https://unsplash.com/photos/Q1p7bh3SHj8)

This recording by Brian Vaughn (piano, guitar, vocals, drums) and Yulan Lin (vocals)

Gravity (Vienna Teng)

Music by Ralf Balogh (@ralfbalogh)
Lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Photo by Osman Rana (https://unsplash.com/photos/h8ZvH1Nf7Bk)

"Uncertainty"

Read between the lines.

You tear me apart in your haste to find the perfect way to vocalize.
I think I'm nothing.
Just an obstacle along your path to self discovery.

I was okay before, until I met you here.
Everything got so tangled.
Now I'm just reacting to all the things that you say.
You overwhelm me.
I'm so unsure.
Too much uncertainty to read between the lines.
So take your time.

If you're unsure, you only have yourself to blame for how things are.
I don't need you holding me down.
I gave you what I had.
I couldn't do more than that.

So what do you say?
You overwhelm me.
I'm so unsure.
Too much uncertainty to read between the lines.
Just take your time.

Uncertainty (feat. Ralf Balogh)

Lyrics by Luna Ruan
Music and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Photo by Daniele Colucci

"Fire"

We walked down a one way street,
Kicking pebbles at our feet.
The city burned like the sun.
Smell of ashes in the air.
Boarded windows and empty stairs.
Dozed for a while and we're gone

In the hazy afterglow the distant car horns cry.

In my sleep we were ablaze.
Your hand burned my face as I tore us apart.
You screamed at me to confess.
Was it love or loneliness that made us reach for the stars?

You pretend nothing's wrong,
But we both know I'm to blame.
We are the ash and I was the flame.

We wake,
And can’t remember if it was June or December,
In a year with no end.
California laid to waste,
And between us only space of a life that we’d planned.

You pretend nothing's wrong,
But we both know I'm to blame.
We are the ash and I was the flame.

Fire

Music, lyrics, and vocals by Brian Vaughn
Drums by Alex Hinson
Photo by takahiro taguchi (unsplash.com/@tak_tag)

"If I Don't"

i was hid behind the curtain
and suddenly stepped out
you were the sun behind the clouds

maybe life is falling
like me for you? no
like on the ground
i puddle and i reflect you from below
  
sometimes it's easier to be impossible than just a bit too far away
i know it's a fragile thing
like you and me, and our insecurities
but if you let me
if you let me
i plan to stay

right now the easiest thing to do would be to run away
take the secrets i still have
so i don't give them to you

the safest place that i could be now is home inside my room
but i spent 2020 doing just that
the only part that i don't regret was in september
and then into the winter
as i opened up to you

If I Don't

Music by @scratchcard_glory, lyrics and vocals by Brian Vaughn

It's just a name, but one you're meant to have.
Don't turn away.
I feel it when you move.
I gravitate to you.

I'm falling down.
I'm falling down to you.

Lead the way with your body.
I'll follow.
Take me anywhere.
Just say the words and I'll be yours.

I'm falling down.
I'm falling down to you.

I see your eyes from across the room.
But next to you, I'm not so pretty.
What do you see?

I'm falling down.
I'm falling down to you.

Sakura (feat. Scratchcard Glory)

I’m a software engineer, musician, and runner.

brianvaughn

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