march has been tough but it's all shaping up. i'll be collaborating soon with the homies. just had to get the bread right.

Journal Entry:
 "please, enjoy the now"
by nicholas hoerdemann
———
how i have handled business in my past 
does not define the steps i make today

i am focused on being grateful for the hard things in life 
with which God tells me “PLAY!”

I will not let fantasy rule my thinking. 
Today I take a step forward to strategize, and have that influence my dreaming.

I will not fake being bold and proud 
instead
i will ask others to help me while I’m down.

I will always respect those when even they think i am less
I will always be a friend who encourages “Always, give your best!”

I will not lash out in anger when situations are hard to understand
Instead, I will lean on God with a simple fold of the hands.

I will not hold myself too high or think of myself too low.
all i can ask God with a deep breathe in “How do i flow?”

when life is complicated and the afflictions are many. 
I will sit and thank Jesus “You have blessed me with training.”

when i go to paint and make music, my heart and mind will convey truth.
All is such beautiful worship to the one who made me and you.

i will not hold to my past with white knuckles and clenched teeth. 
I will instead be a pillar
for other to see that true freedom, is sweet.

when the mind starts to spiral
i will sit with bible

when my future stirs waters 
i will cry abba father

all of my vows put simply the “how’s?”
when Jesus speaks to me softly.
“Please, enjoy the now.”

through adversity of march and seeing ripe fruit on the roughest walls. + journal entry

get down jam

not a finished track just gotta keep posting and keep it moving. chefs cooking.

from loss to classic

MIX 06 INTERMISSION

Techno & Hardgroove recorded live.

TRACKLIST:
INTROVERSION @introversion_berlin - BACKROOMS
FENIM0RE @aron-p-412667036 - ANGUISHED
ALARICO @alarico_katana - THE HIVE
JKS @jksmusic - THE CULT
JXXXO @joaquin-poletti - FLY TO CDG
IGNACIO WILHELMUS @dstaknbitch - SPIRIT
FOUAD DARWISH @fouaddarwish-jr - AMAZONIAN

MIX 06 INTERMISSION - PEARLS

https://boltedjaw.bandcamp.com/track/take-it-or-leave-it





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TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT (MOOD PIECE)

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LOWTIDES AND FALLEN PRAYERS (DUB)

steps (TRIAL).    .''   ._.-.___.' (`\  //(        ( `' '/ )\ ).__. )  ' <' `\ ._/'\    `   \     \

limbo dreams and fresh thyme (MOOD PIECE)

Usually with music I make soundscapes like this as it pushes me deeper into personal reflection. this is it's fruits.


a letter from 35 year old me to now,

it’s good to let conviction settle when all is confusing around you. when you tend to talk out of your ass it’s often a sign that your just overwhelmed with all the noise around you from responsibilities and pressures of amounting to your fullest potential. 

even with the comments you make about exes and how the heart hurts to understand why it just never worked out. learn how your mind unfolds truth. whether exaggerated and or half lying it’s best to just center and realize where you lied and inflated so you don’t add more negative energy to the mix. but the truth of the matter is you have differing values from those you have given your heart to. allow that to be the truth. allow that to seep deep. allow that to direct your path towards finding your wife. 

you can talk about the family, you can talk about the comments, the discussion or lack there of them,  you can talk about what you observed but does it really help?

young buck, we got a ways to go but it’s not without learning to shut your mouth and learning that you alone get your ass smacked on the concrete for your own lack of discretion. 

so be quiet. allow the pain to reveal and spiral what actually is the truth. because what you find is disheartening but amounts to burdens being lifted off. it’s truth is simple and is without a real yes or no. it simply is tears collected in bottles. warped midi and broken melody. and in it is beauty. 

every man and woman has their own ways of perceiving. every person has there regrets don’t add to it. the same way you don’t wish to have others add weight to yours. false witness kills us all. that’s why it’s in the good book. aim to not be a man who has to struggle with it but is aware of it. whose hands are stretched in surrender and don’t need the answers so many let turn to demons. 

let your conviction roar. it’s what gets you to the next step. 

follow through with strength Nicholas.

natural wine

BRUISED HEAL RECORDINGS

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