Recorded in Spring 2013 for the Fusion Dance Company at Brown University in Providence, RI, under the direction of Sarah Friedland.

Ben Freeman and Ursula Raasted -- "This May Be The Last Time" (a cappella)

Stronger (Britney Spears cover)

-Look at everything happening within you, with courage and compassion, if you really want to heal.-

This album is a portrait of a moment of personal reckoning—a moment in my life where I saw some long-habituated patterns of self-diminishing behavior for what they were, and a pathway forward revealed itself. This is an album born of some tough love and heart-to-heart time with myself. My sincerest hope is that you might listen and understand yourself more deeply, that these songs might become road maps for your own awareness to grow.

I wrote most of these songs while in divinity school from 2017 to 2020, and I self-recorded and produced most of them during the high point of the pandemic. They are full of religious imagery and an earnest desire for change. They are expansive in their orchestration, experimental in their form. I wrote to try to find something true. Now they are in your capable ears and hands—what will you make of them?

These songs are as unruly as the life processes that birthed them. They are songs of healing and growth. I hope, as you encounter them, that they become companions on your own journeys of inner and outer freedom, that listening might be a balm in this time of continuing and compounding grief.

Yours,
b.free

---

CREDITS
Thank you to:



Brady Waibel (Mix/Master: Saturn, Theology)
Edgar Alvis (Production: Rejoice; Additional Production: Hymn [When The Thunder Comes]; Mix/Master: Ready For Love)
Nick Miller (Mix/Master: Intro [Humility], The Wind So Long Awaited)
Avi David (for offering your home studio space in the height of the pandemic)



Aric B. Flemming, Jr. (Featured Vocalist: Rejoice)
Jeffrey Vélez (Featured Guitarist: Rejoice)
Chantel Whittle (Featured Vocalist: Hymn [When The Thunder Comes])
Soul Connection (Featured Choir: Rejoice)
Nancy Roncesvalles (Choir Direction: Rejoice)
Roberto Ros Martínez (Castanets: Ready for Love)
Anthony "AM." Andrade (Percussion, Theology)
Assitan "Sita" Coulibaly (Vocal ideas, Theology)



Emily Rogal (Featured Ritualist, Emily's Blessing/Breathing Nigun)
Wilson Hood (Featured Ritualist, Wilson's Blessing)
Rev. Ashley Y. Lipscomb (Featured Ritualist, Ashley's Blessing/There Is A Stillness)



Andreas Nicholas (Single Cover Art: Saturn)
Nasirah Dupont (Single Cover Art: Theology)
Didier Garcia/Saint Manifest (Single Cover Art: Rejoice)
Cat Laine (Album Photographer)
Jon Key (Cover Design)

-----

I truly could not have done this without you.

The streaming version of this album is hosted on the Haus of Glitter record label.

Outro (Rescue)

Hymn (When The Thunder Comes)

Saturn

Rejoice

Theology

Music and lyrics by Ben Freeman
Produced by Jackson Hoffman

Curiosity

Produced by Jackson Hoffman
Mastering by Sam Moses

Ben Freeman — Long Distance (feat. Nora Rothman)

Music, lyrics, arrangement by Ben Freeman
Produced by Jackson Hoffman
Mastering by Sam Moses
Cover art by Cat Laine

--

Shouldn't you, shouldn't you, shouldn't you be on my mind?
Shouldn't I be all right?
Shouldn't we, shouldn't we be having a better time?
But we lie awake by blue light
I don't think we can survive
If you don't let me try

Darling, with you lying right next to me
I can't reach you
Darling, all I ever dream of is crossing your sea
To see you reaching me back to me
Baby mine

There's a gulf that reaches between us, an empty space
That your vulnerability could rest in
I'm thinking about the end, wondering whose image
You're holding onto baby, it surely isn't mine
Will our love survive, baby?

Darling, with you lying right next to me
I can't reach you
Darling, all I ever dream of is crossing your sea
To see you reaching me back to me

You there, lying next to me
Why won't you let me reach you? (let me reach you, let me reach you)
Darling, all I ever dream of is crossing your sea
I see you reaching back to me

Don't shut me out, don't shut me down, don't shut yourself in
Let me reach you (Baby mine)
Don't shut me out, don't shut me down, don't shut yourself in
Let me reach you (Baby mine)
Don't shut me out, don't shut me down, don't shut yourself in
Let me reach you (Baby mine)
Don't shut me out, don't shut me down, don't shut yourself in
Let me reach you (Baby mine)

Baby Mine

[for release 3/8/24]

Music and lyrics by Amanda McBroom

Production, vocals by Ben Freeman
Mix, bass by Jack Hoffman
Master by Sam Moses

The Rose (Bette Midler cover)

Do you remember the first time you felt in your bones that a particular love was gone, never to be retrieved?

To me, it felt planetary, like an entire gravitational system had lost its epicenter. 

I sat down one hazy night at the keyboard in 2014 and this song poured out. It was a gasp, a cry for help, a prayer. A palace, once stately, lies in ruins. And still the world goes on.

"Physics" is the only song I've ever written in one sitting. And it's the first song I knew I had to re-record when I decided to make a 10th anniversary edition of my first EP, Providence. Some songs grow with you. You find your way into their bones, and they find their way back into yours, where they came from in the first place.

Love is a glowing orb that flickers, but never quite goes out.

---

Vocals, keys, music and lyrics by Ben Freeman
Produced by Cale Hawkins
Mix/Master by Matt Sim

Image and design by Chimera Singer

Physics

This is the third track from my first EP, "Providence." You can find the full EP on Soundcloud, or on its original platform at bshatteredbfree.bandcamp.com.

This music is offered in the spirit of community. If you feel moved by what you hear, please write me a note or share with your friends. You can reach me through Bandcamp, Facebook, or my personal email at ben.r.freeman at gmail! I hope this writing finds you well.

Love,
BFree

-----

PROVIDENCE

Providence, I fell for you 
In a way that I couldn't show 
You hit like a hammer, 
You hurt like a hollow 

He opens up my heart and he leaves 
He is free, he is all right 
And he was all right with me, 
Back in Providence 

He opens up my heart and he leaves 
He is free, he is all right 
And that was all right with me, 
Back in Providence 

I open up my heart and I leave 
I am free, I am all right 
Or someday I'll be, 
That's my providence 

I open up my heart and I leave 
I am free, I am all right 
Or someday - 

Providence, I fell for you 
In a way that I couldn't show

-----

Music and lyric by Ben Freeman
from Providence, released June 5, 2015

Ben Freeman -- Providence

SATURN

It's the moon I love more than anyone
No, it's this dream I have of being someone
Shame, it trembles inside
As I drive into the night
Is there something wrong with me
That I can't see the love in my life?
All the love in my life?

Saturn, I catch your likeness in the mirror
I see myself in rearview, stuck in patterns
And I seek release
Saturn, I wrap myself up in your orbit
Got me feeling so frightened, but I'm done with fighting
This change that I know I need

When your back is turned, there's a way out
It's your willingness to turn around
If you meet me on the street,
I might smile and kiss your feet
But if you meet me in my room,
I can outrun all your gloom
On the road to happiness,
I got lost, I failed the test
And now I see
I owe myself a reckoning

Saturn, I catch your likeness in the mirror
I see myself in rearview, stuck in patterns
And I seek release
Saturn, I wrap myself up in your orbit
Got me feeling so frightened, but I'm done with fighting
This change that I know I need

Return to me
Something is beginning
My joy, my joy is the joy of thee
My joy, my joy is the joy of thee

To that child I was, we are not enemies
The only dream I have is just to be
As the planets rule the sky,
So I am ruled by my delight
And as a blaze consumes a fortress,
I let go what's outgrown its usefulness
I'm on a long, long drive,
But I am on the way to paradise

There is so much love in my life
In my life
There is love in my life
Such love in my life

In my life
There is love in my life
Such love in my life

---

Release date: December 30, 2020

Music, lyrics, vocals, and production by Ben Freeman
Mix/master by Brady Waibel
Cover art designed by BF and edited by Andreas Nicholas, from a photo by AM. at Meow Wolf
Developed in the context of Andrew Huang's music production course for Learnmonthly.com
Released on The Haus of Glitter Performance Labs record label

SATURN

Hi! I'm Ben (he/him/his). I'm a singer, songwriter, instrumentalist, and producer originally from the San Francisco Bay Area, currently based in New York.


If my music moves you, please write me a note or share it with a friend. Understanding how others experience my work is the most meaningful piece of the process for me. You can contact me at ben.r.freeman@gmail.com. 

Thanks for visiting. 

Peace -
Ben / b.free

Ben Freeman (b.free)

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