Fiction

SUN (original)

lyrics:

why are you so nonchalant about failing to fully get a grasp of mortality 
please talk to me again when i find the right words to describe how it feels like to be here
 all ive ever known was how to be insignificant and how to make lists of whats wrong with me
 it ruins me but at least now i know why everybody leaves

and it's weak 
mediocrity 
 all this time spent fighting my shadow cause I thought it was out to get me

complete
fantasy 
brooding over dismal lies in hopes of curing me 
but what I don't know is that i am the disease 

i hope the post-midnight moon never gets tired of the years that it has watched my cry myself to sleep 
But it knows it's the closest thing i'll ever have to a friend that'll never leave
and  i hope the people around me never find out who i am genuinely despite the fact that I constantly remind myself that one day they're gonna leave me 

and it's weak 
mediocrity 
all this time spent fighting my shadow cause I thought it was out to get me 

complete 
fantasy
brooding over dismal lies in hopes of curing me 
but what I don't know is that i am the disease

and im tired 
of leading a pathetic life 
but i'm the author of my own demise 
i'm the author of my own demise 

(bonus lyric hehe)
and i've tried 
to repeatedly ask myself why 
i'm struggling to survive 
i'm struggling to survive

Disease

How many eyes do i have to draw for me to see 
That no one will ever truly care about me 
All my life ive been feeding off false empathy
As i disown the voices in my head like they're separate entities

the only thing i'll ever be good at is self destruction 
Is that the reason why i'll never matter to anyone

Ive been dismantling my organs for fun
just to measure the amount of ether in my lungs 
I didn't mean to scare you please go on with your lives 
I didn't change i'm just tired of living a lie 

I never changed i'm just tired of faking my smiles 

Everyday i feel like I'm just constantly dragging my feet 
Probably in hopes of them burning due to friction with the concrete 
Excuse me while i look for a reason to be complete 
last thing I remembered was asking for warmth and getting burned by scorching heat 

the only thing i'll ever be good at is self destruction 
Is that the reason why i'll never matter to anyone

Ive been dismantling my organs for fun
just to measure the amount of ether in my lungs 
I didn't mean to scare you please go on with your lives 
Nothing changed i'm just tired of living a lie 

I never changed i'm just tired of faking my smiles

ether

effy

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