ASCENT II — THE ECHOES OF EVERY WOMAN I LOVED (Remastered)

ASCENT III — THE RUIN & THE RISE

GCSS __ THE ASCENT - Intro

ASCENT VII — THROUGH THE FIRE WITH YOU

ASCENT X - EPILOGUE- THE LAST DAY IN MY HANDS

ASCENT I — CHILD OF THE SHADOW

ASCENT IV — RESURRECTION

ASCENT IX — BEYOND THE FACADE

ASCENT V — THE POISONED MIRROR

The Day I Stopped Running

Bullywave - SEA OF TWIN TIDES

Quiet Fire

I walk like a free spirit, no chains on my skin,
But some days I feel hunted by the life I never lived.
No kids, no anchors, no hands pulling me back -
But sometimes I’m scared of the silence in my tracks.

Everyone thinks I’m drifting ’cause I wanna be alone,
But they don’t hear the weight in the marrow of my bones.
They don’t know the war between my chest and my mind,
They just smile and say I’m “different”… and leave me behind.

I give strength to others, but I’m running out myself,
Holding people up while my own soul’s on the shelf.

I’m a free spirit with no place to land,
A ghost in the crowd with a fire in my hand.
I’m the one they call when they’re breaking apart,
But I’ve got no one to call when it’s dark in my heart.
I’m the shelter - but where’s my own?
A lighthouse for others, but I’m sinking alone.

I think too deep for the ones who say they care,
They hear my words but never breathe the same air.
They don’t see the visions spinning under my skin,
They just hear “strange” - never ask what’s within.

And sometimes I worry that the freedom I chose
Will bite me someday when the night wind blows.
Maybe I’ll age with no echo of my name,
No kid to remember the fire in my flame.

I’m a free spirit with no place to land,
A ghost in the crowd with a fire in my hand.
I’m the one they call when they’re breaking apart,
But I’ve got no one to call when it’s dark in my heart.
I’m the shelter - but where’s my own?
A lighthouse for others, but I’m sinking alone.

And if I fall someday…
will anyone know?
Will anyone say my name…
when the lights get low?

FREE SPIRIT WITH NO PLACE TO LAND

The weight I carry alone

Shades of the fall

Hit to wake the soul

The bubble burst in silence
no thunder, no warning signs.
Just the sting of naked truth
cutting through my spine.
I saw the world unfiltered,
and the filth I carried too
the weight of every lie
I whispered to get through.

And suddenly nothing felt familiar
not even the shape of my own name.

Vaya con Dios
I walk this road awake.
With all the dirt I buried
bleeding at my feet again.
This path might cost me everything,
it might devour my bones
but I’m ready for the reckoning.
I’d rather die than live unknown.

Awareness is a scalpel,
and I’m cutting through my past.
Peeling off the layers
of the man I wore like a mask.
Every truth is poison
but it cleans me as it burns.
And I’d rather choke on honesty
than drown in who I was.

I see the road ahead collapsing
but I’m still stepping in the flames.

Vaya con Dios
no blessings, no regrets.
I walk into the darkness
with the courage of what’s left.
If cleansing costs a heartbeat,
then let this be the toll.
’Cause living blind was killing me
far deeper than the fall.

This is my dirt.
My ghosts.
My burden.
My war.
And if the truth demands a sacrifice
I won’t shut the door.

Vaya con Dios
to the man I used to be.
Let the ashes of my failures
be the soil beneath my feet.
If the price of seeing clearly
is the risk of losing breath
then I accept the revelation.
Let the truth decide the rest.

Vaya Con Dios

BREAK IT

Some nights I feel the world
breathing through the cracks in me,
like time is folding
around the memories I tried to keep clean.
And I wonder
if every moment we survived
was just a quiet lesson
we didn’t know how to read.

This life
is a strange machine.
It turns our pain into meaning
long after we stop bleeding.

There’s a quiet truth
hiding underneath our noise,
that all we ever own
are the echoes of our choices.
We’re shadows with a pulse,
drifting through a borrowed sky,
weightless
but trying to leave something that survives.

I held my breath for years
waiting for the world to make sense,
but everything keeps changing
faster than the scars can settle in.
And maybe
we’re not meant to understand the structure,
only carry pieces of the story
that shaped us.

Maybe meaning
is just a reflection
we catch for a second
before it slips back into the dark.

There’s a quiet truth
hiding underneath our noise,
that all we ever own
are the echoes of our choices.
We’re shadows with a pulse,
drifting through a borrowed sky,
weightless
but trying to leave something that survives.

And if nothing here is certain,
why does it feel so real
when a moment breaks us open?
Why do we cling to details
that the universe forgets?
Maybe the smallest things
are the ones that stay.

There’s a quiet truth
that follows us like light.
We’re temporary bones
carrying infinite nights.
We fade,
but something in our wake remains.
The quiet truth is simple:
we are more than what we lose.

The quiet truth

I spent my whole damn life
trying to explain a language
no one else was born to speak.
I kept handing out my shadows
like they were something
people could understand.
But they never walked my storms,
never tasted the quiet pain
that taught me how to breathe.

And maybe I was cruel
for expecting them to see me
through the lens I broke myself.

Cause everyone’s carrying
maps we never shared.
Different roads,
different ghosts,
different weights they bear.
And expecting them to read my heart
like it’s written on their skin
only makes me drown alone
in places they’ve never been.

Some people break from tiny sparks
that barely even warm my hands.
And others stare at my collapsing walls
asking why it hurts so much
to watch your soul come undone.
But how could they know
the shape of my darkness
when they never lived inside it?

I was begging for connection
from people who were never built
to understand the weight I carried.

Cause everyone’s carrying
maps we never shared.
Different roads,
different ghosts,
different weights they bear.
And expecting them to read my heart
like it’s written on their skin
only makes me drown alone
in places they’ve never been.

Maybe the world isn’t cruel,
just mismatched.
Maybe the tragedy
is thinking someone else
lives in your head.
Maybe freedom
is letting them have their sky
while I finally learn
to survive in mine.

Cause everyone’s carrying
maps we never shared.
And they don’t need to know my storms
to walk beside me there.
If they leave
it’s not rejection,
it’s just a different path to take.
Different maps,
different hearts,
different wounds we make.

And I finally see it now
I don’t need to be understood
to stay alive.

Maps we never share

I’ve got a light.
I’ve got a void.
Two sides of me
I can’t avoid.

They fight for breath.
They stain my skin.
I lose myself
and rise again.

I am the dark.
I am the flame.
Two sides collide—
I wear the blame.

I’m not afraid.
I’m not the same.
I face the war
and speak my name.

Break the mirror.
Let it bleed.
Both of me
are what I need.

One shadow.
One fire.
One truth.
Bullywave.

Shadowbound

sometimes we waste a lifetime
scratching at the same old wounds
like we’re afraid they’ll ever close

I keep remembering what I did wrong
again
and again
AND AGAIN
as if repeating my past could ever save me

I keep remembering the faces
that cut into me on purpose
the ones who walked away
with pieces of me still stuck in their hands

maybe that pain was never the end
maybe it was the doorway
I never wanted to walk through

THESE SCARS DIDN’T RUIN ME
THEY BUILT ME
I’m done apologizing
for the shape I took
to stay alive

Maybe if someone spared me once
I’d be too soft to live now
maybe if no one ever hurt me
I’d trust the wrong hands
and never wake up again

every betrayal
every disappointment
every night I thought I wouldn’t make it
they forged something in me
I didn’t understand back then

maybe every wound was architecture
maybe every cut was design

THESE SCARS DIDN’T BREAK ME
THEY ARMORED ME
I stand here
not healed
not holy
but functional aware unbreakable
in every place
I used to bleed

If life ever cleaned my past for me
I wouldn’t survive my present
if no one ever tried to bury me
I’d never learn how to dig myself out

I’m not here because I had it easy
I’m here because life hit me
and I hit back

THESE SCARS ARE NOT MY GRAVE
THESE SCARS ARE MY FOUNDATION
I don’t want them gone
I want them understood
I want them RESPECTED

because every wound
was a direction
every pain
was a blueprint
every loss
was a teacher

and somehow
all of this
built me

The scars that built me

I heard your voice
breaking through the midnight static
calling my name
like you were holding on by threads

You were honest
in a way you never were before
and I told you
tomorrow brother
tomorrow we’ll talk
get some sleep
it’ll be alright

But tomorrow never came
and neither did you
and that silence
never left my chest

If I knew
it was the last time
I would’ve driven through the night
I would’ve crossed every mile
to keep you here

Some goodbyes don’t sound like goodbyes
they sound like laughter
like call me tomorrow
like nothing is ending
until it does

So if someone calls you in the dark
answer
if someone needs you
go
don’t wait for the sun to rise
because sometimes
the night takes them first

You were brilliant
broken
full of fire and ruin
a man who felt everything
twice as hard as the world allowed

You tried to start again
chose a future
but the past
never stopped pulling at your sleeves

And if love alone could save you
you’d still be here

We don’t lose people
because we don’t care
we lose them
because we believe
we have more time
than we really do

Your last call
still rings in me
like a warning
like a prophecy

And every time I hear it
I swear
I won’t let tomorrow steal
what I can save today

So here’s to you brother
to the life you almost stayed for
to the road you didn’t finish
to the nights we’ll never get back

And to the lesson you left me with
don’t wait
don’t delay
don’t assume
don’t promise later

Because sometimes
later dies
in the same night
you say it

And somehow
your voice
still guides me
through the dark

The Last Night We Never Lived

Most people fall apart
when the truth lands heavy
They love the surface
the version of me that doesn’t bleed
But when the weight shifts
their hands slip like shadows
and every promise
breaks before it hits the floor

A thousand voices
warm when the night is easy
but missing
when the sky divides
People reach for warmth
never for gravity
They hold you
until holding you
actually means something

Truth is heavy
and most are too light
to carry
anything real

People are light
until the truth lands
Hands slip
voices fade
But one soul with weight
can carry what I am
One soul with weight
can carry what I am

Crowds feel colder
than being alone
And one real heart
can feel like a whole new world
The rare ones
don’t run from the fire
They step inside
and stay
while everyone else disappears

Truth is heavy
Truth is holy
Truth is something
only few can lift

People are light
until the truth lands
Hands slip
voices fade
But one soul with weight
can carry what I am
One soul with weight
is enough
for a life like mine

When the world cracked
I didn’t reach for the crowd
I reached for the one
who didn’t flinch
who didn’t break
who didn’t drop me
when I was too heavy
for everyone else

People are light
until the truth lands
Hands slip
voices fade
But one soul with weight
can carry what I am
Carry what I am
One soul with weight
is enough for me

One Soul With Weight

I ran so far past all my lines
I tore the map that once was mine
Chasing goals that swallowed me whole
Trading every heartbeat just for control

I moved through fire when I cracked
Carrying a body I never got back
Halfway broken, halfway blind
But turning back felt like suicide

And every time I try to breathe
Another part of me must bleed
I see the mirror start to shake
I know exactly who will break

I burn my boundaries just to stand
I crush my soul with my own hands
I’m both the weapon and the wound
The voice that drives me to my doom
If I collapse before I rise
Let it be known when my heart dies
I wasn’t killed by fate or fear
But by the war I built in here

I’m tired of living razor-thin
Of carving purpose into my skin
Of breaking bones to hold a dream
That keeps erasing pieces of me

My pulse is fading into dust
My will is rust, my hope mistrust
But if I stop before the end
Everything shatters, nothing will mend

The enemy is wearing me
He knows my thoughts, he hides my grief
He whispers “more” when I can’t stand
He pulls the strings with my own hands

I burn my boundaries just to stand
I crush my soul with my own hands
I’m both the weapon and the wound
The voice that drives me to my doom
If I collapse before I rise
Let it be known when my heart dies
I wasn’t killed by fate or fear
But by the war I built in here

Maybe someday I’ll learn to say “enough”
Before the fall becomes too rough
Before the ones who held my light
Drown in the smoke of my endless fight

So I burn my boundaries once again
I drag my ghosts across the end
I am the fire and the ash
The silent scream behind the crash
If I collapse before I rise
Remember this when my heart dies
I wasn’t killed by pain or time
I was destroyed by my own climb

Burn My Boundaries

They taught us how to stand in line
Before we learned to choose
They handed us a map of life
With someone else’s rules

We learned to trade our hours
For the comfort of a name
Built palaces we’ll never see
For men who need our chains

They’re not above
They’re not divine
They just learned how to draw the line
And we stayed inside

We live like hamsters under painted skies
Running in circles, calling it life
Everything we need is in our hands
But we kneel to ghosts who command

Break the wheel
Break the lie
There’s more than this horizon line

Some people hate the life they wear
But never learned another skin
If this is all you’ve ever known
How would you call it prison?

They smile out of habit
Not desire
Confuse the absence of pain
With fire

Is ignorance peace
Or a quieter scream?
If you’ve never seen freedom
Can you miss what it means?

We live like hamsters under painted skies
Running in circles, calling it life
Everything we need is in our hands
But we bow to chains we don’t understand

Break the wheel
Break the lie
There’s more than this horizon line

You don’t lack strength
You lack permission
And you keep waiting
For someone weaker
To give it to you

They sold us safety
We paid with time
Called it normal
Called it fine

A life that fits
Is not a life
It’s a pattern
Learned to survive

We lived like hamsters under borrowed suns
Grinding our bones so they could run
This world was never out of reach
We were just taught not to reach

Break the wheel
Burn the line
This life was always mine

If this is all you’ve ever known
How would you know
You’re trapped?

Hamster Sky

A Paradox

Dark rock

Melancholic fire. 

Two halves of the same soul.

Hope and rage. 

Light and shadow.



Dualism is the key.

This is Bullywave.

Enjoy the ride.

🖤

Bullywave

Pinned to spotlight

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