Redsox (prod. Oliimpus)

shout-out to V47ko for the beat,
 check him out Linktr.ee/v47ko

Shout out to 0neelam for the hook, 
y'all check her out: https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/ymNTg


My brain sits alone 
Solitarily confined 
Preemptively locked away
Inside an otherwise empty 
cage of my own design
My thoughts are 
Compartmentalized 

Petrified, I turn toward my worst desires
My jumbled psyche finds it terrifying
Crumbled ego makes a feeble attempt 
To reinforce my own internal bias 
Not to mention 

These 
Off putting intentions 
Malicious thougts 
Of ending things
Circling the drain 
of my consciousness
Things I haven't thought since 
I made it out that house. 
I thought I found a way around it 
Truthfully I just forgot about it 

All the pain I felt 
From the way you'd yell 
Locked away inside my room 
Waking up to daily hell 
I did nothing wrong 
Yet you verbally abused me 
Shit was so confusing

I'd do anything to gain your favor back then too. 
5 years old I 
told you I was having trouble making friends at school 
You named a kid, told me to smack him 
I hopped  up on the school bus
Backpackless, ready for action
He showed his face so I attacked
One punch bounced him
Never seen so much blood, 
His nose reacted like a fountain When it busted 
I wasn't sorry 
I was following instructions.

(bridge)

Principal kicked me off the bus back then 
Busted my ass with a paddle and sent me 
Back to that dungeon 

You picked me up from the school
I thought you'd be proud 
You acted cool in the office but I see now 
Apple doesn't have a far fall from the tree 
Soon as we 
We're in that car you lunged at me 

Yea them punches hurt but 
Sometimes I feel I deserved worse
Learned that day to never 
Listen to your words
And keep to myself at home 
That's why I sat alone 
Solitarily confined
Stuck inside my head 
Wondering why 
Do you hate me? 
Why do people even have babies 
When they don't appreciate them?

I'm just a product of the environment that I grew up mired in
A reflection of those who raised me, 

I'm not playin when I say this:


Substance abuse is a lonely refuge. 
A warm blanket but it won't protect you. 
From the sadness 
Like you think it will 
I saw the way it fucked 
you and my dad up
But I'm drinkin still

Learned that shit from you 
And daddy too 
Just hope to break the cycle 
Before I have my own kid 
And act just like you

Alax feat. 0neelam (prod. V47KO)

BurrowtheMage

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