happy birthday,
i'm sorry i couldn't say
it in person
but i still struggle looking your way.

its been 4 years
but i still remember your laugh.
i haven't heard it
in a while.

but you seem happy.
you still hang out with our old friends.
i hope they miss me
cause i haven't changed much since then

so im sorry
cause i still make you do all the work.
am i lazy,
or a child?

do i know love?
am i smart enough,
have the brain makeup?
all this shit is a chore.
the less i'm awake,
the faster time moves,
i need a break.
can we sit here
for a little more?

and i really like your shoes
but can't tell you
because "thank you" would break my heart.
you're right across the room,
i see your reflection in the window.
what are we?
what were we?
what stopped?

merry christmas.
it's sad that 3 more months have passed.
you've out-grown me.
you're the first, but you won't be the last.

i am tiring. i am weird.
you're a good song,
i poison your ears.
i was foolish to feel without fear.

now my body 
is swerving im in the back seat.
you are hiding,
im the poster for 2019.
im regressing
cause you brought the best out in me.
i am static. am i real?

did you feel loved?
was i good enough?
did i open up?
i was shy and unprepared.
now your accent
sounds like you again,
lost my influence.
are you trying or did u just forget?

and i really like your shoes
but can't tell you
because "thank you" would break my heart.
you're right across the room,
i see your reflection in the window.
what are we?
what were we?
what stopped?

what are we?
what were we?
what stopped?

what are we?
what chapter?
what part?

oh, the pages
are ripping
in half.

i like ur shoes

wake up
i’m crying in my sleep 
my makeup 
is smeared on my pillow 

take a
moment to think of me
i’ll give up

turns out i’m easier to replace then i thought i was
i hear the dial tone
you sit with her on the floor like we used to
and i wonder how many of our jokes are now yours
it’s such a bore
cause I know u love to recycle humour 

hands miss hands cause now their too cold
fast passed glances
who will first fold?
words in the dark too shy to be bold 
but i still know the words to all our songs

lately
i just want to be 
careless
cause i still think of you
baby
and i need it to stop

turns out your harder to let go of than i though you were
and it’s getting worse
i sit alone on my floor feeling stupid
please tell me how much of us that is left are closed doors
it’s such a bore
cause i haven’t moved on yet like you did

hands miss hands cause now their too cold
fast passed glances
who will first fold?
words in the dark too shy to be bold 
but i still know the words to all our songs

and our playlist still gets 30 monthly listens
every night i’m missing you
and now i find myself 
praying on a sunday
hoping god will let us through 
i tried to dye my hair your favourite shade of green 
just so u would say something cool to me
but now it’s finally faded
i guess now i’m clean
i hate that i still see u in all my dreams

hands miss hands cause now their too cold
fast passed glances
who will first fold?
words in the dark too shy to be bold 
but i still know the words to all our songs

hands miss hands

brace

i’m trying real hard to hate you
but i don’t ever think that i can
cause despite all the drama
u always made me feel calmer
whenever things didn’t go quite to plan

now i feel stupid and crazy
for thinking bout someone whos not real
i’m still stuck on a memory
probably will be for centuries 
i forgive every flaw u reveal

just give me some space 
but not to much
i’ll fall out of love
if that’s what you want
i’ll let you erase
all that we made
retrace every step
i’ll brace for the end

i like ur name but i can’t say it
cause it always comes out all obscured 
think i’m plagued by the old you
idk where they went to
i am sick but i don’t want the cure

i’ll run out of things to not tell you
and i’ll run out of lyrics to write
cause i can’t sing “i miss you” 
from the warmth of my bedroom
oh my heartache goes on for miles

just give me some space 
but not to much
i’ll fall out of love
if that’s what you want
i’ll let you erase
all that we made
retrace every step
i’ll brace for the end

and i can be quiet
i’m praying in private 
to talk to a friend
i’ll suffer in silence
and tho i’ll deny it
i’m stuck in pretend

please give me some space 
but not to much
i’ll fall out of love
if that’s what you want
i’ll let you erase
all that we made
retrace every step
i’ll brace for the end 
mmmm
the end
mmmmm

brace

ayo i did another lil thing

it all gets loud sometimes 
but baby don’t worry 
we’re not in a hurry
we will be fine

and if u think you’ve lost your way
i’ll be beside you 
together we’ll hide
from the problems we made

oooohhh
oooohhh
oooohhh

we don’t talk much anymore 
wish we would try to 
get as close as we used to
be before

oooohhh
oooohhh
oooohhh

when u can’t hear yourself think
oh i’ll give you my shoulder 
and we’ll turn their voice
into white noise

if ur turning in ur bed
thoughts are taking u over
we’ll turn their voice 
into white noise 

oooohhh
oooohhh
oooohhh

it all gets loud sometimes 
but baby don’t worry

Jessie Ducat's Album

White Noise

lil love song thing i guess 💕💓💞💘💝

lyrics:
waking up again with you on my mind
trying to forget but it’s a waste of time
maybe in the end i will call you mine

talking bout the past, all our fears and plans
dreaming of the day i can hold your hand
but i know you don’t see and it makes me sad

and i wish i could build up the courage 
to let u into my head
and even if it all means nothing 
i hope we can at least be friends 

i’ll pull you aside so we can talk for a while
i’m doing my best to make you smi-i-i-ile 
all i wanna do is be close to you
so lemme tell you something new

then what happened next is i lot my mind
rehearsed what to say but forgot my lines
freaked out and ran away before you’d see me cry

but the feeling stayed like a new tattoo
plastered on my brain was me and you
guess i’ll try again to talk to you

and i wish i could build up the courage 
to let u into my head
and even if it all means nothing 
i hope we can at least be friends 

i’ll pull you aside so we can talk for a while
i’m doing my best to make you smi-i-i-ile 
all i wanna do is be close to you
so lemme tell you something new

Let me tell you something

this is so different to anything i’ve done before
beat is from tantu

we had a good thing
then it changed
and im sorry i now see you that way 
cause we were just friends 
and nothing more
so why’d i try and open more doors

when u were tryna close the blinds
so why’d i waste my time
made it clear that you’re not mine
made it clear that you’re not mine

so tell me what you want
tell me what you want 
and i will try to listen 
but i don’t wanna listen 
if it’s not you saying you love me too

please tell me that you love me too

we had a good thing
then it changed
and im sorry i now see you that way 
cause we were just friends 
and nothing more
so why’d i try and open more doors

when u were tryna close the blinds
so why’d i waste my time
made it clear that you’re not mine
made it clear that you’re not mine

and i know what you want
but i’m not what you want
cause what you want is her
yeah you keep saying she’s your world

so maybe stop apologising 
and doing nothing to change
it’s like you see you’re hurting me
but still won’t change your game

so tell me what you want 
from me
cause i know that you want something 
cause you wouldn’t still be hear
unless i am all you need

unclear

just sum lil quarentings 

what i can give

we don’t talk anymore 
cause u left so soon
before i could say hello
or get to know u
u were the mystery that never grew
and i wonder what it was to u

you were the mystery that never grew

I literally make these on my phone - they're not good oopsie✨🎶