only after a dozen listens I had a revelation that tar it just rat written backwards and that this is simply an amazing alternative and maybe experimental version or Rat 😐

produced by sleepwater melonmusik & leftquiet

lyrics:
i dont wanna listen to this
i would rather you didnt exist
ill pray after you
ill die before you
its my time to live
but ill end up WASTING IT
its my life you ditched
ill disappear into THIN AIR 
oh where she gone have you seen her 
is she on the way home, swear ive been there 
id kill myself just to HOLD YOU ONE LAST TIME

im scared no where to go
seven times ive checked my phone
if you cared i wouldent be alone
addicted to the cracks on my phone

(gasp)

IF I LIE TO U ITS CAUSE I HATE MYSELF
ILL SAY GOODBYE SOON GUESS IM HEADING OUT
I WOULD KILL MYSELF JUST TO HOLD YOU ONE LAST TIME
WAS I RIGHT FOR YOU CAUSE I COULDENT TELL
MY ROOM A ZOO TYCOON IT NEEDS SOME CLEANING OUT
I WOULD FIX MYSELF FOR YOU TO BE MINE

stay between mortar
it all
flashes in my eyes
im now ready this time

#colne #sleepwater

colne

produced by heylog

lyrics:
we went through a lot of ups and downs
yet you still stayed close to my side
we often dug straight to the ground
you don't know what i look like now
just a number in my phone
i'll love you the most
march is a horrible month
why's it always cold
spent the end to cry
i miss you every night
don't call me when you see this
i'll hit decline
i don't look the same
as i used to
is this a bad thing
log, i don't know you
i don't look the same
like before
and i don't recognize myself
anymore

2 weeks 'till i go home
can't wait to see you, oh
october is when you go
now things are coming to
an end

she'll only love me if i just love myself
but baby with you i felt things i don't feel
i couldn't imagine to feel someone else
the thought of it always gets me overwhelmed
i hate separating from people i love
but i go forever without anyone
i will go for days and not say any words
you won't hear from me cause i sit back and lurk
closing the drapes to block out any light
the things that i do i would never advise
it's so bad for me and hm, i wonder why
growing more acne and i'm not surprised
don't look at me, please don't look at my face
the way that you stare makes me humiliate
i swear i get uglier
i don't look the same
you won't recognize me by how much i've changed
changed

spotify

update failed

produced by sleepwater & leftquiet
mixed and mastered  by sleepwater

if you dont love me
you wont see this
if you dont wanna love me
you dont wanna see this
how after all
how have i become
who, who

removing myself from everything
show you the world
cos your everything
cos your everything

that i need
so please
want me
cos your everything
i need
i need

she made me wanna die and i dont know why
i cant see the light i got the tunnel vision
reapers getting life call it double time
i dont think ill be able to stand here
dont want my personalities meeting
drowning thoughts seem to be sinking

cos your everything
cos your everything
cos your everything
i neeed

you gotta bottle it up
you gotta pack that in 
i wanna flood the gates
she betta celebrate it
so where would be the line
if i ever wanted to cross it
never felt right
when i tried
to love you
you
help

please

produced by heylog 

lyrics:
I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY
notice how it falls in deeper
deeper
oh, it goes deeper
know that i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer
EVERYTHING'S ABOUT YOU AND THE REST
BUT I GOT TO GO WITHOUT YOU CAUSE IT'S BEST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL CROSS PATHS SOMEWHERE ELSE
I HATE THAT THESE THOUGHTS ARE WHERE I DWELL

notice how i fall in deeper
deeper
oh, i go deeper
baby, i can't be ur healer
healer
healer
ur healer

𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪'𝘮 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵
𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥, 𝘴𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘴
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯
𝘪 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭

i don't say enough prayer
or kneel beside the bed
i ask on some nights
to see you again
i didn't find anything
or see any signs
unless they were right in front of me this whole time
i hate that all of my friends
live so far away
it's very lonely
and it's so cliche
i like thinking of you
i do it a lot
why give attention to something that's forever gone?

I LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOU WHEN I REST
I LIKE TO THINK WE'LL BE TOGETHER AGAIN
SHE DON'T WANT ME TO LEAVE
NOW SHE'S BEGGING HER DAD FOR ME TO STAY
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN WE MET
BUT ALL THESE MEMORIES ARE DEAD
I FEEL IT SLOWLY DISSIPATE
I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S TIME TO WALK AWAY

healer

'into the wind' produced by heylog

lyrics:
on my last little bit of breath
will i make it to the final stretch
but the wind has something for me instead
bones break and every single muscle group
feels torn apart, skin is turning blue
and i cannot comprehend on what hurts
seems like i did a little bit too much
pushing my limits way too far above
way too far above
the wind before winter is like getting punched
and i ain't got any spit left under my tongue
under my tongue
the wind blows on a tuesday
do you think we'll make it, what do you say
i've been away from home now for a few days
and it got to living like i'm in a new age
standing in the wind, i know it's cold out
2 somethin the morning, it's a ghost town
conscious telling me i should probably go now
cause as soon as the wind stops there ain't no sound

this ain't nothing light and nothing small or subtle breeze
just shows how much force the wind can put resist on me
run i'm almost there, i'm so so close, aheads the fin
head down, forward movement, running straight into the wind
into the wind, into the wind

into the wind

re-mixed/produced by logan
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idk bro

if snakes in the wall was on crack

heylog - back room

prod logan

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we're|not the ;same
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produced by xona

-lyrics-
(don’t tether your issues when you feel alone
you're feeling so nauseous, you push it along)

I’m looking for the way it was when we hadn’t broke our trust
those memories echo, I didn’t want to let go
but everything reminds of you where I settle
oh I know
these things don’t matter, you mend without an issue at all
I’m searching new patterns the ones I forget everything we’ve done

(everything we’ve done)

even if you mean everything to me
I can’t breath at all
it’s too precious to leave
so I’d rather fall
so I’d rather fall

~

this road block gets obscure
uncertain if I’d get out of here, out of here
this month I thought I’d change my course
but I’m back in this roundabout with unopened
doors
you need to pick and choose, I know you’re scared to move
you think there’s nothing new?
but maybe, it’s just you
you tend to look at me but you’re unamused
so what’s the entry step? cause you need to prove
that you’re worth this shit, I know on my life that you see it too
you know you see it too, so please.
what do you have to lose?
don’t stay in this room
don’t stay in this room

(don’t stay in this room) x6

~

don’t tether your issues when you feel alone
you're feeling so nauseous, you push it along
this weight on your shoulder, won’t last that long
you know, you know, you know
so what are you going to do?
so what?
so what?
so what?

cascade

Happy day

reupload

prod me❤️‍🩹
sampled
https://youtu.be/hC8KrIY8qT4

lyrics*
将来のことも過去のことも
知らねえ 楽に生きたいよ
周り気にせずに回転する日々を
続けてたい 半径86cmがこの腕の届く距離
なんもわからんなって その辺をのらりくらり

それでもあなたがいてくれたから今の僕があって
"あなたのせいだ" "あなたのおかげだ"それの繰り返しで
喧嘩ばっかだ それもいい思い出 今となれば
あなたがいれば曇り空も綺麗なんだきっと

振り返って たまに転んで
みんなが僕なしでまた息をしていく
そんな妄想の数年間を思い返した 不甲斐ないや
繰り返しても 何も変わらない
繰り返しても ただ人が怖い
本当にそれだけの僕が あなたに好かれるはずがない

"別れたい"で全てが崩れる
敷かれていたはずの未来行きのレール
見える影もないんだ 一緒にいたはずの君ももう居ないな
love me tender love you forever
今になっての後悔が 重なって 86cm ただ回転してる

将来のことも過去のことも
知らねえ 楽に生きたいよ
周り気にせずに回転する日々を
続けてたい 半径86cmがこの腕の届く距離
なんもわからんなって その辺をのらりくらり

それでもあなたがいてくれたから今の僕があって
"あなたのせいだ" "あなたのおかげだ"それの繰り返しで
喧嘩ばっかだ それもいい思い出 今となれば
あなたがいれば曇り空も綺麗なんだきっと

tar

logan

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