lyrics:
you were born in 99
and until then the sun still shined
the same old way, same old light
or so i told myself that night

i wake up with you in my head
with all the words i should've said
it comes in waves always the same 
or so i told myself in vain

i think its time, lover of mine
wasting your lines
and running in infinite circles
im wondering how to survive

driving with you into night
share a secret share a light
new york city's not to far
i feel alone inside your arms

like a storm stirs up the sea
you make a hurricane of me
kisses wreak of alcohol
feels like you're not there at all

i think its time, lover of mine
wasting your lines
and running in infinite circles
im wondering how to survive

i always thought that you were mine
now all i've got is wasted time

hurricane season

a song about forgetting (trying to)

lyrics: 
might be this body's just a vessel 
for the things that i go through
might be this planet's just a resting place 
for what i thought i knew

might be the people that i loved
that held my heart and took my time
were all just little moving pictures 
on a screen inside my mind

and that's alright
that's fine

i am 19 i am breathing
i am tall and so unsure
in copley center, in the sunshine, thought i saw you
light and pure

and in my dreams and in my head
and in my thoughts and on my mind
the chill reality i've fabricated
eats up all my time

and that's alright
and i think that's fine

do you think of me? 
do you think of me?
cuz you're still making guest appearances
in all my restless dreams

i wish i were in nova scotia 
with my feet in freezing sea
i wish my hands were full of you again
and yours were full of me

i wish that i could finally see
so maybe i could finally breathe
i wish that i could finally see
how this is good for me

over and over again in my head
im goin over and over again in my head

DEMOS

visions

a song about shitty dudes

lyrics: 
when i was 13
i was bit by a rabid dog
when i was 18
i was kissed by another one

now im grown up
 i'm sure that you can understand
that im more careful
about where i put my hands

it was freezin
on the park bench where you saw me crying
and i tried hard to be calm
in my driveway
i could barely feel your pulse
i could only ever have you as a ghost

honey you know
i wont ache and moan
cuz in the end its me its me its me that let you go

in the morning
you put ur icy hands on mine and without warning
you cut my hair like samson
i make some coffee
cuz i don't know what else to do
you say you love me
and i can't even look at you

honey it's true 
i wont ache and moan
cuz in the end its me its me its me that let you go

when i was 13 i was bit by a rabid dog
but now i'm grown up
and i dont care how loud you bark

im not sorry 
and i won't ever be ur girl
im not crying
cuz you were never my whole world
and i wont put you in a poem
and i wont write you any songs
and i wont craft you any sonnets

ur greatest gift was leaving me alone

senior prom/rabid dogs

virgo (i heard that she's a)

motion sickness (cover)

what was your intention
what was it you had in mind
people always tell me i have a type

summer in manhattan
glowing under powerlines
all of your affection came as surprise

you're making me nervous
i don't think i mind

baby, is this the wrong way
to tell you that i'm thinking of you now
i never get the words right
but i would say em to you all night
if i knew how

caught you in a bad way
tired of the nine to five
never been the one to hang on a line

idiot romantic
oh i can't help myself
i fall into these same old paradigms

well you're making me nervous
but i don't think i mind

baby, is this the wrong way
to tell you that i'm thinking of you now
i never get the words right
but i would say em to you all night
if i knew how

(it's never been that simple)

idiot romantic

futile devices (bedroom pop remix)

- lyrics -

I remember
Every second
Kept em in my useless brain
Rolled up in my denim pockets
And taken out on desperate days

It’s always the same
It’s always the same
It’s always the same
And it’s always grey

Cut my teeth in graveyard city
Public gardens after dark
Academia disgusts me but
Tell your mother that I’m smart

I put both hands to the feeling and i feel it fall apart

Frank O’Hara:

“Having a coke with you
Is even more fun than going to San Sebastian
Irún, Hendaye, Biarritz, Bayonne
Partly because in your orange shirt
You look like a better happier St. Sebastian
Partly because of my love for you
Partly because of your love for yoghurt
Partly because of the secrecy our smiles take on
Before people and statuary
It is hard to believe when I'm with you
That there can be anything as still,
As solemn as unpleasantly definitive as statuary
When right in front of it
In the warm, New York 4 o'clock light,
We are drifting back and forth between each other
Like a tree breathing through its spectacles.”

In the morning I am there
Foggy eyed and unbrushed hair
This is exactly what I want
And that’s exactly why I’m scared

But if it comes to speak or die
How could I be statuary
When I could be standing next to you tonight

I look at you
and I would rather look at you
than all the portraits in the world

I look at you
and I would rather look at you
than all the portraits in the world.


It seems they were all cheated of some marvelous experience
Which is not going to go wasted on me
Which is why I am telling you about it.

credits
released February 16, 2020
lyrics, synth, bass n beat by clem cahill
sample from frank o'hara's "having a coke with you" copyright 1971

lunch poems

pure-of-heart bedroom rock broadcasting live from a dorm

more releases on Bandcamp & Spotify!

cadderwall

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