Upon first reading this poem from Rainer Maria Rilke's Book of Hours, I felt instantly connected to (what I perceived as) Rilke's emotion. The poem conveys an equal fascination with an entity that exists outside of human comprehension and the frustration that results when trying to comprehend such an entity. As a means of processing my own spiritual experiences, I set this poem for fixed media, journeying through contrasting textures in exploration of the text.

My sincerest gratitude to Joanna Macy and Anita Barrows for their allowing me to use their translation of this poem.

Primordial Tower (2021)

This piece was written as part of a dance collaboration with choreographer Jillian Kramschuster in spring 2022. Jillian and I discussed our fascination with complex emotions, especially those that deal with personal connections and how our social circles shift over time. Somewhere between anticipatory grief and a longing for new friends; a curiosity and a fear of the future--the emotion is better felt than described, so we made it into art.

For Lack Of A Better Word (2022)

Performance of my micro-opera BECOMING, from No Divide KC's Come As You Are event with the Lyric Opera of Kansas City on June 3, 2023.
Jennifer Weiman, mezzo-soprano
Evan J. Nelson, baritone
Neal Long, piano

Program Note:
To describe my experience living with a degenerative muscle disease, I often use the metaphor of “an intimate relationship with decay.” I feel this describes the emotional complexity and depth, as well as the honesty and compassion I must exercise with my body as it changes. BECOMING actualizes this relationship between the self and decay, portrayed as a conversation between two close friends, Aspen and Aurelius. Together, they discuss intricate truths of life—the simultaneity of growth and deterioration, the constancy of decay amidst change, cyclicality—and draw connections between life and artistic processes to assist in digesting the nature of existence.

BECOMING (2023) LIVE 6-3-23, piano-vocal version

I wrote this poem late one night, sitting in front of the bathroom sink and reconciling with intense back pain. My mind recalled what I feel is one of the most heart-wrenching biblical psalms--Psalm 88--in which the psalmist cries out to a God who has poured out its terrors. Whereas this psalmist feels abandoned by their God, I feel abandoned by the idea of God, revealing it to be a metaphor for my own decay.
This poem was given an acousmatic setting for Nicholas Perry Clark and UMKC Musica Nova's Spring '24 program, "God and Other Needs."

Stone-Garden Psalm

This color-study paints the joyful cacophony of gathering places where people routinely meet. Whether religious or otherwise, rituals (such as attending church, participating in community choir, or volunteering) give life meaningful structure and provide opportunities for fellowship. 
Inspired by the Indian tamboura, I tuned all the strings of my guitar to G and D. I then explored several timbres, such as touching a harmonic on a vibrating open string, using my nails to create buzzing, or strumming molto sul pont. Vocals followed the same principle, using a spectrum from breathy to nasal color.
This piece was created for for Nicholas Perry Clark and UMKC Musica Nova's Spring '24 program, "God and Other Needs."

Fellowship Song

If I am to believe that God is other people, or that humans reflect the existence of God, what does that mean for ordinary moments? Can something as simple as a handshake be sacred?
I wrote this poem one night after an open mic, feeling grateful for those who listen intently to my music. Honest art reveals an intimate relationship to the world, making the conversations following a performance feel precious and vulnerable. As Carl Jung suggests, the artist shapes the collective unconscious of humankind. Thus, the greatest gift one can receive as an artist is attention--not to serve the ego but to build a pathway between two fragments of a greater consciousness.
This poem was given an acousmatic setting for Nicholas Perry Clark and UMKC Musica Nova's Spring '24 program, "God and Other Needs."

Psalm Of Recognition

A short siren explores thoughts I gleaned from Kierkegaard's concept of Anxiety.
This piece was created for for Nicholas Perry Clark and UMKC Musica Nova's Spring '24 program, "God and Other Needs."

Gracie Caggiano

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