[Verse 1]
I accidentally stole a song's tune
When I was writing along and accidentally thought of you
I tried so hard to be what I was never
But I know now
And I'm stoked how
I'm all alone

[Chorus]
Overslept again, what a giant mess
Sorry I kept you wondering
If I would actually come around this time
Mediocrity, apologies
Hypocrisy, but honestly
I just need you to come around this time

[Verse 2]
I accidentally said that we should run away
So we took the train I hear from my window everyday
We drove so far to a place that was better
Then she said, “Wow,
I'm stoked how
I'm not alone”

[Chorus]
I dreamt again, we fixed this mess
Promises kept, no wondering
If we would actually come around this time
Underslept again, insomnia
Hypochondria, cryptomnesia
Honestly I just need some time

[Outro]
I understand you're not the solution
But you make me less terrified of the problem
I understand though I try to make it more
You've heard this all before
In some other song or form
I understand you're not the solution
But you make me less terrified of the problem
I understand you're not my solution
But you make me less terrified of my problem

Holding Off

Come Around This Time

[Verse 1]
Maybe it's ‘cuz I’m a Pisces,
Or maybe it’s cuz I’m a pansy,
But as she opened up, I fell in deep
But Im learning it’s okay
That ever since my first heartbreak,
I can’t feel that kind of love for anyone anymore
 
[Pre-Chorus]
So let’s drive the streets
You can laugh at me ‘cuz I’m April’s fool

[Chorus]
And I am scared to let go
But tonight, let’s forget the end of the world
This time, I’ll get things right
So let’s hold each other like theres no goodbye

[Verse 2]
I procrastinate a lot of things
But I can’t hold off growing up
For both what it was and could’ve been,
I miss being that young
The closed door of my sisters room
Reminds me that she’s gone and so is childhood
These walls are stuck in 2015 June 

[Pre-Chorus]
So let’s drive the streets
Cuz I'd rather be April’s fool 

[Chorus]
And I am scared to let go
But tonight, let’s forget the end of the world
This time, I’m going to get things right
But our ghosts, they say, "oh please"

[Bridge]
Don’t forget
Don’t forget me 
(Oh please)
Don’t even try
Because I’m not ready yet
(I don’t want to let go, I don’t want to grow up)

[Outro] 
Photos and drawings hurt me
Sad to see how I felt
Artifacts of a past that now feels unreal
Can’t throw this away, so I’ll eat these food for thoughts
Close up the leftovers in a takeout box
Put it in the back of the fridge ’til it expires and rots
I'll be the first to admit, I should’ve loved more what i lost

April's Fool

Lyrics: 

[Verse 1]
Red thread around our pinkies
But lately I have started thinking
That we need to cut these ties

[Pre-Chorus]
‘Cuz I am hard to love
And I have half a mind
To not let you down and get left behind

[Chorus]
And I wish you said something before you let me go
But I know
I can make up in my head the entire convo

[Verse 2]
You ask me to stay
And you are so great
I know I am hard to maintain

[Pre-Chorus]
‘Cuz I am a piece of shit
Now you want me out your life
You can’t get hurt another fucking time

[Chorus] 
And I wish you said something before you let me go
But I know
I can make up in my head the entire convo

And I wish you said something before you let me go
But I know
I can make up in my head the entire convo

And I wish you said something before you let me go
But I know
I can make up in my head the entire convo

Red Thread

[Verse 1]
Lately I feel like I can’t keep focus
I'm an emotion addict
Kind of impulsive and broken
(Right)
Monetize my emotions
Distract myself with projects
I am scared to remember
But I am scared to forget
And it seems black and white
’Til I ease my mind and rest

[Pre-Chorus]
I deflect everything
‘Cause when I reflect, I overthink
I wanna be inspiring
But I can hardly motivate myself, please

[Chorus] 
Heavy head and a foggy mind,
It weighed too much so I left it behind

[Bridge]
I’ll joke that I hate school
But it’s more that I hate me, see:
I just turned eighteen and if it weren’t for my 5150
I’d buy a gun right now and shoot my brains out
But I’m not looney, I’m just joking around

[Outro]
‘Cause irrationality is better as fantasy
I'm an attention whore who wants nothing more than to have some success
And I can’t settle for less
And I dont want to die just yet    
I just want to be good enough to sing to you, my friend
And I just want to feel good enough to love again
And maybe God knows, I’ll make amends to everyone I miss

Mend.

[Verse 1]
Who I was was reckless
I wish this nighthawk would let me sleep
I don't ask for forgiveness 
But for you to leave my dreams
I’m a better person now
I’ve been working on my faults
Feel like I’ve accepted it
But then summer night falls

[Chorus]
The popcorn ceiling stares me down
I fucked up, yes I did
I'm so sorry I hurt you
I own up to all of it
Maybe they’re right:
These things are skewed
They say I’m too hard on myself
But I’m so confused

[Bridge]
And I go so quickly from feeling great 
To not knowing why I feel like shit

[Verse 2]
See, I’ve written many letters that I never tried to send
‘Cuz reaching out years later might replay her distress
Yet a good apology might help those old wounds mend
And maybe honesty might help her make some sense of it
Sure, alright
So I’ve been thinking about it for a really long time
I said sorry poorly before, this time it’s what is right
I owe it to her to properly apologize
And now I wait
She says, "You hurt me too much to accept it but thanks"
And that's okay
Please be okay!

[Verse 3]
Through the years I have grown
But honestly right now,
I think I'd rather self-loathe
Relapse and indulge
How I feel is on me
I immaturely imposed unhealthy ideas of love
I’m a lonely kid, day dreamer,
Lame heart, but way weaker,
I thought she could save me and that I should’ve been enough to save her
And I wish we had first met later, now I have more self-love
But who am I to forgive myself for her hurt when it’s her hurt, huh?
Things the memories ruin: hobbies, food and rest 
And I keep taking pain pills for this pain in my chest
They don’t really help ‘cause I still can’t get out of my bed
I re-obsess over what I worked hard to repress

[Outro]
I wanna cry but I got too good at keeping it in
I need a scarecrow for the bird perched on my window sill
Gotta think of the light, when the sun will shine again
Oh please, let me go, let me be

Nighthawk

heyo im calvin and i release music under the stage name [insert witty stage name here that i still havent thought of yet]

Calvin Stephano