Navigating the Question of When to Start Dating
Question:

We got this question that says, "What do you think is a good age to start dating, and what age do you believe we should wait to date?" 

Answer:
That's an interesting question because the Bible doesn't specifically talk about an age we should start dating. It doesn't even talk about what dating should look like, so it's not a black-and-white question.

First and foremost, talk to your parents about this. The Bible tells us that we should honor our parents; father and mother. And so get their input on that. 

I know each household might have some different expectations and different boundaries and guidelines on what dating should look like. And so that's the first place to go if you want to honor your parents as you go forward with possibly pursuing a relationship.

The second thing I'm thinking about is what is the purpose of dating. I want you guys to think about why you want to date. We need to sort through some of those emotions that might not be godly motivations and might actually be selfish motivations. So pray through that and examine your heart regarding why you want to date and what's the motive of your heart in that?

I don't think that there's a specific age, but I think it comes down to your walk with the Lord and your maturity in the Lord. I'm thinking of this verse in Matthew chapter 6:33 NLT, which can apply to many things in your life. It's especially important as you consider dating. Maybe there's someone in your life that you're attracted to or you like, and you want to pursue them. 
I want you to memorize and think about this verse from Matthew chapter 6:33 NLT. Jesus says: 

"Seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need."

Think about that. Sometimes, when we think about getting into a relationship and wanting a relationship, we think that that's the greatest need in our life and that it would help fill the void. But Jesus says that we need to seek Him first, pursue Him first, and live righteously unto Him. As we have these things in order in our lives, the promise He has for us is that after we seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, everything else will be added unto you. 

This flow of priority is crucial. If you're abiding in Christ, growing in Him, and seeking Him, He's going to give you the wisdom and guide you through when and who to date. So, Matthew chapter 6:33 NLT—memorize it, live by it, and the Lord will bless you in great ways.

Navigating the Question of When to Start Dating

Dating Non-Believers: A Wise Choice for Christians?

Question:

Can I date a non-Christian or non-believer? 

Answer: 

It seems like this question is coming from a believer, a disciple of Jesus, who wants to follow Him. The question is, "Can I date someone who is not a believer, who is not a Christian?" My answer would be no, as it's not a wise decision and goes against what God's Word teaches us.

There are a couple of things I want you guys to look at. 

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 NLT says: 

"Don't team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil, and how can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?" 

It's evident here, as Paul writes this inspired by the Holy Spirit, that he's emphasizing the challenge of being in a partnership or relationship with a non-believer. Considering this in your own life, why would you want to date someone who is not a believer?

You might have feelings and attraction towards that person, and there may be great qualities about them. However, if Jesus is truly the Lord of your life and the center of your life, and if you desire to follow Him and center your life around Him, why would you want to enter into a close and intimate relationship with someone who doesn't share those same values or prioritize the things of the Lord?

And so, as Paul would say, he just asks these questions. "What harmony can there be between a Christ and the devil, and how can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?" 

Even in a dating relationship, the principle of being unequally yoked applies. Just as it's unwise to enter into a marriage with a non-believer, the same applies to dating. A dating relationship is special and involves a closer connection than other types of relationships. You want to be heading in the same direction as your partner. If they are headed toward worldly pursuits rather than toward Christ, their life will likely follow that direction, too. It's not wise, doesn't honor the Lord, and sets you up for potential failure, heartache, and pain.

Another verse I'd like to share is from Amos 3 NLT in the Old Testament. Amos, a prophet, poses a simple yet profound question that's worth pondering as you consider who you want to date and the relationships you want to pursue.

 "Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?" 

So, think about the direction of your life. Is your life headed in the direction of growing in the Lord, serving the Lord, living for the Lord, laying your life down for the Lord? If your life is directed towards Christ, the person you're dating or pursuing a relationship with must also be headed in the same direction. Otherwise, how can you really walk together? How can you really have a relationship? 

I hope that answers your question. How can you walk together without agreeing on a direction? And if you don't agree on who Jesus Christ is in your life, how can there be a relationship?

To Listen to more or ask your own questions, click here: https://youtu.be/CFwnzM-AEvw

Navigating the Question of When to Start Dating

Calvary Youth

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