stop pretending that everything always has to make sense.

a rough draft of an original song by cam decay (one day i’ll get a good mic and not sing when i’m sick but for now we’re gonna have to pretend)

LYRICS:

the shadows got done draining all the fluid from my eyes
and the stars looked at the moon above and prayed for cloudy skies
while the sun was busy counting all the reasons i’m alive
then the purple came in vicious waves and i thought that i would die

clear walls that i can’t see through
and i know me, but who are you?
i think i’ve seen you on the news
all the things you say are misconstrued

be not afraid, its just the man who eats my skin.
he comes in the nighttime when the flesh falls off my limbs
his face is full of metal, with his lips sewn tightly shut
and when its time to feast he separates them with a cut.

colorless green ideas sleep furiously
they suck away the bad energies and all my memories.
but i washed out all the mud that was trapped inside my lungs
and i’ll hang my heart out on the clothesline as soon as its been wrung

colorless green ideas sleep furiously

another rough draft of an original song. this ones very special to me because i wrote it for the love of my life. i never believed i could live a life so full of love, but here i am.

LYRICS:

i always believed
that i could not find safety in the arms of anyone
but then you came around
and we made a life so perfect, to think its only just begun

nowhere i’d rather be than here
my heart is full, i have no fear
you showed me what love really means
and every day with you is like a dream

i see all the things
they market us to make us feel like we don’t have enough
but all of the money in the world
couldn’t buy something as perfect as the beauty of our love

i spent my whole life
craving warmth and comfort that i never thought i’d find
but now i hold it close
cuz you’re sleeping right beside me and the world just feels more kind

my heart is full (i have no fear)

a rough draft of an original cam decay song.

think without your mind for awhile

LYRICS:

theres a place behind my eyelids where the insects live and breed
they crawl out of my ears but always come back to feed
i’m a moth flitting around the ceiling
and my limbs don’t have any feeling
and i can’t hear a thing over the buzzing of the bees

stop choking back that bile
think without your mind for awhile
let your skin do all the talking
leave your house and just start walking
open the door, you have the key
to setting all the static free
think of it and you can be it
its all about the way you see it

there’s a place i like to visit where nobody knows my name
the dead end part of town where we’re all poor and full of shame
the drugs they take make them lose their hair
but i don’t think they even care.
a reminder that i’m not the only one who feels the pain.

behind my eyes

a rough draft of an original song by cam decay

LYRICS:


i don’t know what i’ve been told.
cuz my ears are clogged with mold.
the sound of my voice is getting old.
and i’ve got no control.

i don’t know who i’ve become
and my brain has turned to scum
i just let myself go numb
til i forget where i’m from

i just need to find a quiet place
where no one will recognize my face
i don’t ever want to be seen again
i think i just need some time to rest

the memories are parasites
they’re embedded in my mind
i can’t forget the worst of times
when i wished that i could die

trapped behind the walls i’ve built
i’m eaten up by all the guilt
but i’m one illness they can’t kill
i won’t surrender to the filth.

i just need some time to think about
all the things i learned to live without.
i don’t ever want to see you again
and i think i just need some time to rest.

all the bugs i’ve killed are coming back to kill me

this is a cover of the song 27 by fall out boy.

27 (fall out boy cover)

a demo of an original song by me. this song is about self isolation and changing yourself in order to fit into different situations. its about learning to let go of the masks we wear and the characters we play so we can find our true selves underneath.

LYRICS:

“no one really likes me, they don’t know the way i feel”
but maybe i just have a hard time knowing what is real
and i was waiting in the backyard with a rope around my neck
and i asked myself why i’m always such a nervous wreck

and i was searching for the perfect pills to soothe my aching heart
and i looked around in circles til my life just fell apart
i’ve been a lot of people but i have never been myself
and i never thought that i could ever like the way it felt

“they all look so happy, and they’re all out having fun”
but don’t you ever think that maybe they’re not the only ones?
so now you’re looking at your own life and you realize what you’ve missed
in all the time that you’ve spent being paranoid and pissed

so now i’m cutting out the hate that came to live inside my heart
because i’ve been scared for too long and i’m in need of a new start.
i’ve been a lot of people, but now i feel more like myself
and i never thought that i could ever like the way it felt

i’ve been a lot of people

this is an acoustic cover of a song by the smiths that i really enjoy playing and singing. i hope you all like it and remember, there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.💡🕸🦇

there is a light that never goes out (the smiths cover)

i used to hide behind masks of made up personalities and filter everything i said so that the world would accept me. now i know that the right people will see me for who i am, and this song is all about that realization. 🦠🕸🍄

LYRICS:

one day i felt strange and i unraveled the nerves in my brain
then i took out my eyeballs and replaced them with two lightbulbs
and i looked into the mirror and it all looked so much clearer
and the shadows were all gone because suddenly the lights were on

(chorus)
i walked myself right out the door
because the world don’t scare me anymore
and i don’t care what anyone says
cuz i’ve got so much joy in my head.
maybe i don’t do the things i should when i should do them
but i know that i’m fine, and i don’t have to prove it to them

i’ve seen it all from brand new eyes and i’m stepping out of the inside
i used to feel the need to hide but there’s some things i’ve realized.
you’ve got to let yourself feel free
cuz that’s what you deserve to be and
who cares if they despise you cuz there’s 
no one who does it like you

one day i felt strange

my name is cam decay. these songs are very important to me. i believe that those who are meant to hear them will. these lyrics are a collage of all my experiences and beliefs. i hope these songs can be a comfort for anyone like me who feels everything all at once. 🦨🦠🎧


full lyrics are listed in the descriptions!!

cam decay

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