I’m on the road to Mandai
A place so foreign yet familiar all the same
We all sit silently in sparse seats
Spaced along the bus
I have headphones on
But all I hear’s my breathing

A shuttle bus of broken hearts
The cars speed past like it’s just another day
We move too fast but feel too slow
We’ll keep moving forward
I just wish it wasn’t northward

How many times have you been here?
This same headspace of mine
How many stories have been left out
Been forgotten over time
Blanks in questions asked
But answers never come through

A shuttle bus of broken hearts
The cars speed past like it’s just another day
We move too fast but feel too slow
We’ll keep moving forward
And forward, and forward

And one day we’ll see
The light at the end of the tunnel
And we’ll start to realise
It was all artificial
But we’ll still find warmth
In fluorescent glows
And appreciate life
For its ebbs and flows
And we’ll watch the cars as they go

But until that day comes
I’ll be here at Mandai

Untethering

Mandai

Power tripping, it’s monsoon season
I should’ve seen this coming
Waterproofed the windows as best as I could
But the rain just keeps on seeping through these
Escape plans drawn up by thunderstorms
Couldn’t leave even if I wanted to
Lightning kept inside a room

And it’s dangerous territory
Taking control of my body
I swear to god that I will never get it back

Post-It’s stuck to hide the cracks in walls
Headphones always on
Stop the thunder cutting through my bones
Stop tearing up this home
I think the weather's just been out to get me
Since birthed into this storm
Keep your eyes off me
Keep your eyes off

And it’s dangerous territory
Taking control of my body
I swear to god that I will never get it back
Salt lines that you keep on crossing, ‘cause
The wind just keeps on tossing it around
I swear to god that someday
I will get you back

Despite ourselves, we are still breathing
Think we made it out alright
Patched up the walls, replaced the lightbulbs
But the roof still drips at night
Despite ourselves, we are still feeling
Every moment of our past
It’s still quite spotty, sometimes it scares me
That waterproofing doesn’t last
Think we made it out alright
But the roof still drips at night
Think we made it out alright
But the roof still drips at night
Think we made it out alright
But the roof still drips at night
But the roof still drips at night
But the roof still drips at night
But the roof still...

And it’s dangerous territory
Taking control of my body
I swear to god that I will never get it back
It feels like fucking purgatory
The way you stuck me in this body
I swear to god that I will never, ever, ever want it back

Waterproofing

Asphyxiation
Caught in my mouth
Try my best to drown it out
Oh so impatient
What’s that about?
Find the words and write ‘em down

I couldn’t see
What you handed out
Branches passed down
All withered now
Whisper to me
Say you can’t breathe
And I will give all that’s left in my lungs

No explanation
Figure it out
Come on kid, you're an adult
Picture frame’s crooked
Just tear it down
Who the hell wants these memories around?

I couldn’t see
What you handed out
Branches passed down
All withered now
Whisper to me
Say you can’t breathe
And I will give all that’s left in my lungs

Why is it holding you down?
Oxygen wearing you out
Why is it holding you down?
Hold your breath, don't make a sound
Sound, sound, sound

I couldn’t see
What you handed out
Branches passed down
All withered now
Whisper to me
Say you can’t breathe
And I will give all that’s left in my lungs

Asphyxiation

Cameron Dies Twice is the solo project of Cameron J Tan, a Singaporean-born musician now based in Naarm/Melbourne. Drawing from sonic inspirations such as The Brazen Youth and Kevin Atwater, Cameron’s sound is intimate yet intricate, with a focus on singer-songwriter style guitar and vocals combined with textural synthesisers. His debut EP, Untethering, revolves around themes of coming-of-age and trauma recovery, drawing from deeply personal experiences. 

Some other projects Cameron is in include midwest emo band outer orbit. and indie rock band WOOD.