Rest (demo)

56.2 60~2YO~12

mashup of one of my old tracks and love me like you do

doubt me like you do

rough demo

intro to be used later

might scrap this; it's incredibly messy lol
also doesn't fit with the album theme much

possible scrap

dgcfae tuning

paprika's my comfort food 
cause she burns my throat 
and she whelms my coat 
and paprika's not home after school 
cause she's running now 
and she's leaving now 
goodbye

paprika (demo)

insanely powerful but my broke ass is not paying £10 a month. also lags rly badly

Dmaj7, Emin7, Gbmin7, Gmaj7-Gdim7

serum test

So I might actually finish workprint...
G, Gmaj7, G7, C, Cmin, Cdim, D/B, D/C

movement for memories you'd like to forget

the sun don't shine
anymore
you look at yourself
in the lakewater
wondering why
your antlers won't grow yet

it's late at night
once again
i'm yearning for a little bit of
a little bit of
your love
darling
surface feels just the same
what did i have to say to you this time?
oh i

antlergirl

lakewater

sing to a bird at dawn
whilst it's there
so question your motives
find a set path
and build
from there whilst you can

oh darling

tone shift

and whilst I'm in the right lane
you see me better than before
don't think I could ever live up
to your standards now
don't push me

when i see you now
i wonder what you'd say
about yourself that you turned out to be
what the fuck
did you do to me
i miss the old you
or do i miss what i thought you were to be
tell me
did i make the wrong choice
i wonder whether if
it was so bright inside (??)
whilst in the end (??) just what i thought it could be in my perspective
now
sky's so bright
cause i don't, think
about you, as much
cause, you decided
to leave, me
to do, wonder
why i did
all that stuff
cause i thought
i, was, helping, you
(and 1, 2, 3, 4)
none of that made any sense
why
this is all a stream of consciousness
now i'm wondering
why i thought
that just cause you were my friend
and in the end it meant nothing to you
that i even cared

do you still think about me?

i think this track changed how i view the world quite a lot. i had to reupload this entire album because of an old cover.
i had previously used a gif of two homestuck cosplayers kissing from like 2011 for the cover, and despite the song only getting 1700 views on youtube, the two cosplayers still found it. that shocked me; 1700 views seems so little, but the two exact people still saw it. i'm still deeply sorry to those two and i hope they're doing okay. it was no way right for me to use an image like that without thinking about the people actually in the gif.
and in my opinion, the cover you see now is actually a lot worse and doesn't create a message or tell you anything about the album, but i'd rather have two people be undisturbed; they have their own lives and don't deserve some random 16 year old to disturb it.

i'll sail the whole world
just to look for your name
(syrens)

i wanna
just talk mom

you've grown too used to it

don't look into mirrors
when there's nobody around
looking at your skin
what do you see?
what do you seek?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aaahhhhhhhhhhh

but i'm still fucked
up in the head! pop out your brains!
so tell me what you want from me
cause i've been texting desperately
just trying to find a solution here
to fix a broken piece of skin
you don't have to call me everyday
i'd just be fine, either way
but know i'm lonely and it hurts
i just want to feel a piece of skin
for now

(everything's a big joke, huh bender?)

memories, you'd like to forget

the light i knew isn't here
gone to the tides that i'll seeing soon
and he won't call to check up on me
cause he don't care...

you're still here

and gone
was this star
that came to me
when i was downnn in my lows
it promised me
that it'd keep on staying by my side
but all that keeps on happening just tells me otherwise
i wanted it to be 
i wanted it to see
but i wanted it to stay
cause i can't take it without it

oh
starry nights
i'll look for you
a shining star

cause you were by my side
and you were at my heart
and you are on my mind
and i can't take without you
cause i've been so desperately
searching for you
looking at the stars every night til i find you

on a starry night
a starry night

sleeping during the day / safe

don't look at the sky, and think of me when i'm gone
it's like the moment you first saw the light come from the door
does it make any sense now?
ringing bells at dawn

highway

we'll be okay in the end

ahhhhhhh

birds sing by the meadow
you just keep trotting along
with your hooves that you grew
by yourself

wasting time

wasting time

unused part in memories you'd like to forget


oh i just wanna make amends 
before it's all over 
i just wanna see you one last time  

asterisk quotations are left ear and normal is right ear, both ears are overlapping: 
*the death of me* 
the frog croaks in
*was coordinated* 
the wind and i can't live  

and every moment feels the same 
but this one didn't quite add up 
and you woke up in a puddle of blood 
wondering how you got here now 
look at your skin all morphed and warped 
torn and broken you're distraught 
yet there's no times for questions now 
just walk forwards and learn to grow  

i'm abrasive towards myself 
so i'll just leave

and once it's all over / penclimax

'laying in the grass fields' (demo)

i love my friends and would gladly treat them to five guys

horribly mxssy

the faded in intro of wasting time you never heard

instrumental to my ptsd

Bbmaj7 - Dbmaj7 Dbsus2

sounds WAAAYYY too similar to wetdream by willy rodriguez but i like this

brushed for once in my life today
i felt proud yet it all diminished away
and i'll find comfort
in holding you
i feel gross when i watch my face
rot away as i cry about
what i can't have in my
life

ideaa

This is frutiger aero nepeta purrr I need you to help my frutiger aero world

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