You Will Have To Kill Me

Lyrics:

i'm waiting
your glossy hand is laying still
I can't run
I can't move

you're healthy
overcome with someone new
I can't stay
I can't go

Practice

Lyrics:

I don't want to live painfully
and I don't want to die young
I don't wanna die alone, you see
but I don't want to have to die in front of someone I love

I don't want to live quietly 
and I don't want to live loud
I don't really want a body
but i need your ears to hear what's pouring out of my mouth

but I don't want to keep talking
because it all sounds the same
don't even know when I'm lying 
can't see the line between a friend and a name

I never want to be famous
but kinda wanna be known
I don't want to get close to you
but I'm terrified of being alone

i never want you to worry
but really need you to care
i am really trying to live this time
I am really trying to make myself believe that I'm here

I don't want to die

Lyrics:

all my life i sort of thought i wouldn't die, not if i made enough or did enough

all my life I'll live for you, because I love you and I'm not taking you down with me

All my life

Lyrics:

white light, white heat, white town I never could escape from
good boy, good dog, good thing I kept a secret like an ember

I remember finding clothing in the woods
I remember telling stories like we didn't know them

come back, heal me, dig this body out


big rip, big sleep, big thoughts, small revenge of never knowing me
take time, take care, take me and do everything you talked about cause

I can feel it but only by puppeting this wooden skin
I can feel it but only like you're touching someone else's 

so warm me, dimly; stop the bleeding out
come on, bright bird, unhinge your jaw; break me; swallow me whole and wake me, oh


tough guy, tough love, tough break we are right back where we started

When I'm with you it's like fingering a photograph
I can feel you composing a pithy little epitaph

so quit this dead place; leave me holding the skin
i can't  live with keeping you in

White light

Lyrics:

I had a secret but I forced it down
bought a little city just to push it around
lived a thousand lives but none of them were mine
I had a secret but no one cares who's alive

Built a rocket built a family built calliopes 
broke my lungs and broke my stomach all for trying things
buried sickness under waking with more friends than I could keep
but darkness seems to animate my hands when I'm asleep

I had a secret and it felt so big
shed skins in dark hotel rooms now too deep to dig
too tired of this living and too scared to go outside
I had a secret no one cares who's alive

I had a secret

A parent loses their child to a mass shooting—
I wrote this song a year ago, just after Uvalde.

Lyrics:
you promised that you'd be here
buttoned up and bright as gun steel
i am holding flowers

and all the world is blunted teeth
is bodies all the same
is sleeping, calling out your name


i have so much time left
melt me into oil-black seascape
i have so much time left

I swear to you I'll live each day
like choking down a pill
want you to know, but you never will


I keep pulling out the driver
I keep ricocheting the bullets blindly
I keep arguing with timelines

I held you once with unclenched teeth
like everlasting good
tried to tell you the truth, but I never could

Promise

Lyrics:

i dont mind you took the car
it wasnt that important, and i want you to go far

i dont mind you broke my heart
I'm happy just to give you what you need for a new start

didn't think it's really over
didn't think I'd lost control

but oh, didn't anybody tell you, this is pretty much it
and oh, didn't anybody teach you to love what you get

I didn't think I'd lost control
like endlessly eating, never really feeling full

now starting hobbies, finding friends
the thing about this life is that it never really ends

Release date:
22 September 2023

I don't mind

You Will Have to Kill Me (Remix, featuring Julia Holter)

“Gorgeous textures . . . . From a tradition of unnervingly confidential, light-voiced male singers: João Gilberto, Arthur Russell, Lou Barlow of Sebadoh, Elliott Smith, Jamie Stewart of Xiu Xiu.” – Ben Ratliff, New York Times

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