A tale about a schizophrenic ghost from South Manchester

Hair Puller

Meat district

Modern British Cooking

A song about all the bad things in life. Was probably going to be a B-side

Domino Ray

Hey, by gum, it's the 27th August and here are the news headlines. In song.

Britain economy grew much faster than we had anticipated. The figures suggest that we have accelerated.
Growth hits a 9 year high: analysts try to work out why. "It won't go on unabated." 

"We're about to crash!" People told in error. BA had to apologise for causing terror.

North Korea seem sincere- they want to talk about nuclear disarmament on the peninsula.

and in Chilean mine, it does appear the 30 trapped men seem okay. Topless, sweating but in a good way.
They can't wait to see the day they'll get a video of Pele!

Australia: deadlock no closer to resolution.

27th August 2010

Hey, it's the 28th August, and here are the morose, droned out doobz fest of the news headlines, in song!

Microsoft Corp Co-founder Paul Allen tries to sue 11 huge corporations all at once: Apple, Google, Facebook, AOL, eBay, Netflix, youTube, Yahoo Office Depot, OfficeMax and Staples under fire for patent  infringements.

The secretive leader of North Korea Kim Jong Il visits China,  but can't be seen by the world's media.

Scientists have cracked the code for wheat: breed a better yield, now the genetic map's been solved.

28th August 2010

A man's been caught in connection with a £150k betting scam- tried to get bowlers to bowl no balls at the Pakistan v England game at Lords.

Venezuelan candidate gives you the chance to win larger breasts in a competition
if you'll say you vote for him.

US to mark 5 years ago Katrina hit the Coast of Mexico.

North Korea's Kim Jong Il not close to retirement still John Lennon's toilet sold for 10k, we are told.

The British Museum spells real bad. It was evacuated  It stinks and hurts your eyes,
"A chemical" that makes you cry.

Thousands of people have to run away as Sumatra wakes up from being dormant today. More than 400 years asleep, the volcano sends out a heap of smoke and lava up into the air above.


29th August 2010

This is the 30th August 2010 and here is the news! In a post-rock goth kinda way.


Mandelson fears cul-de-sac if Milliband launches attack on "New Labour" values and takes them back to a time, before Blair, and a time before power.

The flood waters in Pakistan have started receding for the first time in a long while. Some good news for the region (we can raise a slight tentative smile).

Japan central bank has a new act, with a stronger yen.

Kate Moss and Top Shop have said goodbye to each other.

And angry Pakistani folk have pelted donkeys with tomatoes to vent frustration at the cricket team, or so it seems. 

Strippers with degrees
1 in 4 have education from uni recent study found
Most of them enjoy the work
and have their feet firmly on the ground


30th August 2010

This is the 31st of August and here's the news from Cats in Paris directly to you. We've been out reporting every day, writing great news stories
for you to play.

It's the news!

The four Pakistani cricket players that were caught out yesterday for supposed "no-ball" match fixing are "unlikely to play."

Work hastily begins  on the Chilean shaft to help rescue workers find the people of which the mine was staffed. Officials say it could take 4 months to complete the tunnel and get the men from underground. Some of the minors have fungal infections growing in the dark, dank, hot, humid underground. Speaking to her husband, Jessica Chille said it had a been "a balm to my heart, a balm to my heart."

Iraqi PM celebrates their freedom as the US troops start to leave for home.

Roger Federer has a very easy win In the First Round of the US Open.

JK Rowling,  the author of Harry Potter gives £10 million pounds to a research lab to try to combat MS. "I thought I aught to give them loads of money, as much as I have. Let us seek to cure a very Scottish disease.

THE NEWS. (The end)


31st August 2010

A new song about being trapped on a space station, dreaming of rnb parties from your childhood.

They condensed the fruit, vacuum-packed to boot. Suck at it with a straw, until it tastes like fruit no more. Over and over I prayed for something freshly made. We could sit at a restaurant and have anything that we want.

A bounce from wall to wall because there's no down at all so strap me down to a chair in dull recycled air. I know that it sounds weird, but my only friend's my beard, because I can't even cut my hair, and there is only black out there.

Rock and blank, rock and blank, rock and...

Let's dance and hold hands like I'd never taken to the stars. Touch my skin and I'll touch your skin and we can smile like teenagers. Talk how I'd vow to turn down the chance of a life time. Hold me close, please, hold me close and stop the background from fading out.

Your eyes (to my surprise), they darken and start to disappear. Love me now, please, love me now before now turns back into that ship. We go solo and fall down in a summer breeze. Birds are round, yeah, birds are round- they dance above our heads in the trees.

Press a button. Sleep. Pressing a button. Sleep. Hear the computer beeping then I go back to sleeping. Oh, I'd cut off my hand for a day trip back to land. Take me down to beaches and bury me deep in sand. Tether me to the hills. Glue me down to rock. Put me in a dark room and give the room a lock. Anything, anything, please! To keep me on the ground. Fill my mouth with flavours and cover my head with sight and sound.

Rock and blank, rock and blank, rock and...

catsinparis

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