BRYSSA: Hiding Scars

BRYSSA:  Beso de Noche

NIKOLINA: Things We Cannot Forget

CARLENE:  Love Is My Oath

CARLENE: Rise After You Fall

They told that little girl to be quiet, hush her mouth
They said the priest was doing God's work in God's House
They said if she zipped it up, she'd get a big reward
when she got to heaven, yeah, praise the Lord

They told her not to tell it
They said no one would care
She didn't listen very well
She told 'em go to hell
And then she figured out
it's just a freaking movie
so she threw out all the scripts
‘cause they were stupid
and now

She doesn’t need anything from you
She doesn’t need your love
She doesn't need you to approve
Revenge is not her goal
She doesn't need a role
The stories are not holy, and
She's not her story

One time she had a shrink who said he'd never let her go
He said he'd be her boyfriend just before he locked the door
One day when she was ten years old, an uncle touched her there
but he was drunk, it doesn't count, come on now, be fair

They told her not to tell it
They said no one would care
She didn't listen very well
She told 'em go to hell
And then she figured out
it's just a freaking movie
so she threw out all the scripts
‘cause they were stupid
and now

She doesn’t need anything from you
She doesn’t need your love
She doesn't need you to approve
Revenge is not her goal
She doesn't need a role
The stories are not holy, and
She's not her story

It took her years to fully grasp
the meaning of this truth
And if she’s not her story
neither are you

She doesn’t need anything from you
She doesn’t need your love
She doesn't need you to approve
Revenge is not her goal
She doesn't need a role
The stories are not holy, and
She's not her story

See video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o0fLakYOYM

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2023

SHE'S NOT HER STORY

Buy or Stream

You're lying in your crib now
Your body is brand new
I have some things  
I need to say to you
Life will go very fast
You'll think you have forever
One day you're at a high school dance
the next your hair is silver

Don't waste a single heartbeat
on things you can't control
The sun is gonna rise
The winter wind will always blow
And through it all, your heart will beat
with love you come to know
With every pulse in its own time
is how your life will go
Slow down
Don't waste a single heartbeat

It took me years to figure out
that life has its own timing
and if I said it all was great
you'd know I was lying
I finally came to understand
it's easier to trust
that what you need is what you have
and what you have is love

Don't waste a single heartbeat
on things you can't control
The sun is gonna rise
The winter wind will always blow
And through it all, your heart will beat
with love you come to know
With every pulse in its own time
is how your life will go
Slow down
Don't waste a single heartbeat

See video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8YcfHlo9I

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DON'T WASTE A SINGLE HEARTBEAT

I saw you from a distance
A force pushed me to get close
One moment my heart was still my own
The next I looked at you
and I knew

You will be the one
who picks wildflowers
running in the sun
We'll talk for hours
You will free me
You will heal me
You will be the one
I love forever
Dancing on the rug
all crazy sexy
You and me, yeah
You will be, yeah
You will be the one

The world became our own production
The night created us a moon
The instant that you touched me
the light was shining down on you 
and I knew

You will be the one
who picks wildflowers
running in the sun
We'll talk for hours
You will free me
You will heal me
You will be the one
I love forever
Dancing on the rug
all crazy sexy
You and me, yeah
You will be, yeah
You will be the one

Oh my my, my life was in your eye-eye-eyes
and oh my my, it was done by sunrise
Yeah, I knew

You will be the one
who picks wildflowers
running in the sun
We'll talk for hours
You will free me
You will heal me
You will be the one
I love forever
Dancing on the rug
all crazy sexy
You and me, yeah
You will be, yeah
You will be the one
You will be the one

See video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uV848Vs7DQY

Please subscribe!

Background vocals by Nekane

YOU WILL BE THE ONE

NOTHING CHANGES

You feel the venom from all that love
You got a t-shirt sez I'm enough
You fought a viper all full of hype
Gotta suck the poison out of that bite

All kinds of crazy in the south
You never thought you'd run your mouth
but hell, you did it, and now you pay
just for saying what you had to say

Feeling what you feel
is a crisis for some people

Put it in the rearview
No one's gonna scare you
No one's gonna prayer you
outta being yourself
Put it in the rearview
Scream if you have to
What's the point if 
you can't be yourself

Color of mean used to be green
But now the Philistines have seeped into the cream
You drink it down with your coffee
You look around for a friendly

Being who you are
is an emergency for some people

Put it in the rearview
No one's gonna scare you
No one's gonna prayer you
outta being yourself
Put it in the rearview
Scream if you have to
What's the point if 
you can't be yourself

You did the best you could
and they'd love you
but they don't think they should

Put it in the rearview
No one's gonna scare you
No one's gonna prayer you
outta being yourself
Put it in the rearview
Scream if you have to
What's the point if 
you can't be yourself

Put it in the rearview
and let it go

PUT IT IN THE REARVIEW

I know you’re in there somewhere
In that maze of mystery
I’d like to join you there
If you’d only let me

Huddled in your hideaway
Praying for peace
You could stay inside that place
Or you could let me see

Ah, ah, ah

Your secret place where you hide your heart
Where you go to escape, I will find your scars
The private face of who you really are
However long it’s gonna take
I wanna know your secret place
Your secret place

Yes, there is safety there
But there’s also lonely
Drowning in your despair
Can’t hold on to holy

Ah, ah, ah

Your secret place where you hide your heart
Where you go to escape, I will find your scars
The private face of who you really are
However long it’s gonna take
I wanna know your secret place
Your secret place

I  …  I …
I will find you there

Your secret place where you hide your heart
Where you go to escape, I will find your scars
The private face of who you really are
However long it’s gonna take
I wanna know your secret place
Your secret place

© Bill O’Hanlon/Mark Dolin/Carlene McDearis Wentworth

SECRET PLACE

Ah, love’s a razor
Ah, love’s a wound
Ah, I’d be safer
Ah, in a tomb

There’s no pain
Just a clean slit down the vein

You’re killing me
I’m underneath
Those six-foot deep
secrets that you keep
I can’t believe
How cleverly, how easily
You’re killing me

Ah, you’re so lethal
Ah, deadly dose
Ah, you’re so evil
Ah, stole my hope

There’s no pain
Just a clean slit down the vein

You’re killing me
I’m underneath
Those six-foot deep
secrets that you keep
I can’t believe
How cleverly, how easily
You’re killing me

You know, you know you use love
You know you use love just to make me bleed
You know you abuse love
You abuse love like a felony

You’re killing me
I’m underneath
Those six-foot deep
secrets that you keep
I can’t believe
How cleverly, how easily
You’re killing me

You’re killing me
You’re killing me

© Bill O’Hanlon/Carlene McDearis Wentworth

YOU'RE KILLING ME

Like white on rice
here I am again
You turn my dials
all the way to 10
Song on the radio
Kick it, fifth gear shift
It's like it's Christmas Eve
and I'm a little kid

Up I-20
I-85
My phone is dinging
nonstop on this drive
The signs are singing
They're calling out to me 
like triple 8th notes
yeah, like do-re-mi

I’m coming to you, baby
like the ring ring 
and the ding ding
and the sing sing
I’m your music
I’m coming to you, baby
like the la la 
and the fa fa
and the ra ra
I’m your music

Can you hear my voice 
inside your head
Can you hear the rhythm
coming off those tire treads
Remember how we dance
Remember how we move
Hang on, Loverboy
cuz I am in the mood

I’m coming to you, baby
like the ring ring 
and the ding ding
and the sing sing
I’m your music
I’m coming to you, baby
like the la la 
and the fa fa
and the ra ra
I’m your music

And when I get there
I'll pour music on you
And while we're dancing
you'll be humming my tune

I’m coming to you, baby
like the ring ring 
and the ding ding
and the sing sing
I’m your music
I’m coming to you, baby
like the la la 
and the fa fa
and the ra ra
I’m your music

I’m coming to you, baby
like the ring ring 
and the ding ding
and the sing sing
I’m your music
I’m coming to you, baby
like the la la 
and the fa fa
and the ra ra
I’m your music

I’m coming to you, baby

I'M YOUR MUSIC

I’ll be stronger
than I seem
I’ll be braver
than you believe

I will see
where I can go
when I leave
my comfort zone
The time has come

I will rise up
I won’t stand down
I’ll be powerful
I’ll hold my ground
I’ll do me
Yeah, I’ll be me
And I will dare to be
my own dream

Already have
what it takes
I am light
I bend but never break

I will rise up
I won’t stand down
I’ll be powerful
I’ll hold my ground
I’ll do me
Yeah, I’ll be me
And I will dare to be
my own dream

Don’t judge me
I can be
silent as a grave
or loud as a storm
I can go either way

I will rise up
I won’t stand down
I’ll be powerful
I’ll hold my ground
I’ll do me
Yeah, I’ll be me
And I will dare to be
my own dream

Vocals by Nekane

© Marilyn Oakley/Carlene McDearis Wentworth

MY OWN DREAM

Love coming at me like a missile
And my heart is feeling brittle
Tell me why he has an arrow
Think I may be in some danger

Fall in love, how will I know if
Cupid hits me with the wrong bow
Can’t afford to make mistakes
but I’m afraid that it’s too late now…

I feel those wings fluttering
I feel my tongue stuttering
Child, you put a hit out on my heart

There’s
a kid with a
freaking arrow
Chances
of getting
away
are looking pretty narrow
There’s
a weapon flying
like a laser
Where is
the nearest foxhole
He’s got a freaking arrow

Out here in the shadows waiting
Making sure there’s no escaping
Gonna make this kid my mission
find a way to finally ditch him

Cupid’s gonna need an SOS
Cause I’m not a damsel in distress
Grab that missile from the air
Silly child is looking scared, oh

I hear that kid muttering
I feel the old ways shuttering
Don’t need a hit out on my heart

I’m
a girl with a
freaking arrow
Cupid
is running
away
Now isn’t this much better
I’m
a girl
with a simple message
Love
doesn’t need a lasso
or a freaking arrow

No need for love violence
Just use no and yes as your guidance

I’m
a girl with a
freaking arrow
Cupid
is running
away
Now isn’t this much better
I’m
a girl
with a simple message
Love
doesn’t need a lasso
or a freaking arrow

Don’t need an arrow

(c) Marilyn Oakley/Carlene McDearis Wentworth

FREAKING ARROW

You're a little like lightning
after a storm
You're a little bit frightening
I thought you were gone

You're back, you're wild
You're strange, you never change

You tease me
Need me
Breathe me
so I won't drown
You fly in
You're all in
til I try to
pin you
pin you down

I'll never
Will I ever
pin you down

You're a midnight craving
when I'm trying to sleep
You're the misbehaving
Don't want but I need

You're back, you're wild
You're strange, you never change

You tease me
Need me
Breathe me
so I won't drown
You fly in
You're all in
til I try to
pin you
pin you down

You are instructive
for the me that's self-destructive

You tease me
Need me
Breathe me
so I won't drown
You fly in
You're all in
til I try to
pin you
pin you down

You tease me
Need me
Breathe me
so I won't drown
You fly in
You're all in
til I try to
pin you
pin you down

I'll never
Will I ever
pin you down

© Marilyn Oakley/Carlene McDearis Wentworth

PIN YOU DOWN

ANTES

CHICA DEL ESPEJO

CLON DE TI

LANZAME UN BESO

NI LO PIENSES

I used to think I could tame the dark
by playing nice and being smart
but when the darkness came, it just knocked me down
and all I could do was hold on to the ground

I finally crawled on my knees and stood
The light dismissed the dark as I knew it would
Sometimes the only thing that can save us
is remembering the love itself that made us

All the light I will ever need
is shining here right in front of me
All the light that will lift me up
I'm taking in on a breath of love
One pause, one moment now
One day, and one more mile
I can live my life
in all this light

Who knows when it all began
this feeling I'm not enough
I never once stopped and asked myself
enough, enough of what?

And now my life lays out before me
I see more clearly who I am
Like everyone, I am just one spark
Together we will rise to illuminate the dark

All the light I will ever need
is shining here right in front of me
All the light that will lift me up
I'm taking in on a breath of love
One pause, one moment now
One day, and one more mile
I can live my life
in all this light

I'm looking at the sky
A falling star goes by
I feel someone taking my hand
It's such a tender light
that holds me in its flight
and love is where we land

All the light I will ever need
is shining here in the heart of me
All the light that will lift me up 
I'm taking in on a breath of love
One pause, one moment now
One day, and one more mile
I can live my life
I can live my life
in all this light

All This Light

ALL THIS LIGHT

You were hot, that much was clear
I loved to watch your body 
When you put on your workout gear

But I'm not much for lukewarm tea
I prefer that it be hot or cold
when you're serving it to me

And you didn't love me
like I was the last teaspoon
of holy water
in the Sahara

I said hello to myself when I said goodbye to you
I can already tell that I’m feeling brand new
I said goodbye to the pain and I came back to me
I said hello to a future I can’t wait to see
It’s true, it’s true
I said hello to myself when I said 
goodbye to you
 
I had a habit of taking just okay
when what I really want
is fireworks on a hot July day

It's not my style to make a fuss
but what I'm here to say
is I need to be vehemently loved

And you didn't love me
like I was the last teaspoon
of holy water
in the Sahara

I said hello to myself when I said goodbye to you
I can already tell that I’m feeling brand new
I said goodbye to the pain and I came back to me
I said hello to a future I can’t wait to see
It’s true, it’s true
I said hello to myself when I said 
goodbye to you

Oooo oooo oooo

I said hello to myself when I said goodbye to you
I can already tell that I’m feeling brand new
I said goodbye to the pain and I came back to me
I said hello to a future I can’t wait to see
It’s true, it’s true
I said hello to myself when I said 
goodbye to you

It's true, it's true
I said hello to myself when I said
goodbye to you

GOODBYE TO YOU

Golden child, you held my heart and how you made me laugh
Two years old, dancing by the stereo to Fleetwood Mac
When you were ten, you begged me to buy your friend's old used guitar
and damn, son, you played that thing with so much heart

At seventeen, you played in tiny dives
You had to do it cause it made you feel alive

You'd fly, fly, fly on
with your song
You'd fly all night
Lost track
of time

Music was how you reached inside, and how you felt your soul
And you tried so hard, but it couldn't make you feel all the way whole
When you took that first sip, the pain went away
Your relief was strong, so the battle began
and the battle was long

You'd disappear into the dark for hours
It felt like alcohol and drugs were your superpower

You'd fly, fly, fly on
synthetic joy
You'd fly all night
Lost yourself
my golden boy

Then you kicked it to the curb
You sang your songs
You wrote your words
You were two years clean
but you lost your grip
and I lost you
in one final, accidental slip
and now you

Fly, fly, fly
with your song
And I hear you in my head
You say there's no such thing as dead
You say that what I taught you was right
You gotta ride ride the light and
fly, fly, fly on
with your song
Fly fly fly in
the beyond

For Karen & Joel

FLY FLY FLY

I found myself reading my dusty old red diary
I felt sad for that me to put it mildly
Skimming through the lines before I put it back
under the floorboard 
I saw your name
I was caught short
That whole blame game
that old scoreboard

That was when you were a universe
That was when I assumed the worst
The wide open sky I was underneath
started turning dark, started turning to grief
It all went black
and it was coming for me

You thought you left me completely destroyed
Your words like atom bombs
full on deployed
I had  an open cut close to the bone
And all the gentle folk looking on
but then they looked away
like my pants were down
In my disarray
like a wacked out clown

And that was when you were a universe
That was when I assumed the worst
The wide open sky I was underneath
started turning dark, started turning to grief
It all went black
and it was coming for me

I'm tearing out the pages
It happened so long ago
and before this river rages
I'm letting it go

Because now I'm a universe
and the good things are so numerous
I'm underneath a wide open sky
and when the river rises, we'll sing by and by
I feel that relief
coming for me
I feel something sweet
coming for me
ooo
ooo
coming for me

© Carlene McDearis Wentworth

COMING FOR ME

I said I had it under full control
but I lost it all except my soul
My death experience, the great escape
and even though I dug myself an early grave

I'll be beside you every day
I won't miss a holiday
I'll be on the radio playing
I will turn my heart to sand
flowing from a timeless hourglass
into your hand

I said forever and that's what I meant
Loving you was a life well spent
Don't worry, I am all around
filling up your heart like surround sound
I'm a wave, I'm a wave
I am light and sound
I'm a wave

You can feel my pulse inside this endless bass
I'm streaming out the frequency of grace
I'm never gone, I'm still inside the wires
You can hear me humming like a Cessna flyer

I can only take you higher
Even when you're growing tired
I'm on the radio playing
I'll send you pennies from thin air
and when you find them everywhere, you'll know
I am there

I said forever and that's what I meant
Loving you was a life well spent
Don't worry, I am all around
filling up your heart like surround sound
I'm a wave, I'm a wave
I am light and sound
I'm a wave



Look out on the ocean
as far as you can see
Breathe in all the universe
That's you and me
Hear me in the surf
See me in the sky
And one day when it's all said and done
We will know why   

I said forever and that's what I meant
Loving you was a life well spent
Don't worry, I am all around
filling up your heart like surround sound
I'm a wave, I'm a wave
I am light and sound
I'm a wave
I’m a wave, I’m a wave
I am light and sound
I’m a wave

I'M A WAVE

THINK IT THROUGH

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Dywnp4QfHs

I'm the snake in the grass
I'm the devil you know
I'm the one that weaves the web
At the end of the road

You think there's gold in the hills
but it's Black Pearl and pills

Is the dream over now?
Is it all going down?
You played chicken with the sun
when you knew you'd get burned
Is the dream over now?
Can you see what you've done?
Will you say goodbye and run?
Is the dream over now?

I'm the curse on your life
I'm the shadow in your light
When the pressure builds inside
I'm the one who will lie

I will tell you it's ok
because you need to treat the pain

Is the dream over now?
Is it all going down?
You played chicken with the sun
when you knew you'd get burned
Is the dream over now?
Can you see what you've done?
Will you say goodbye and run?
Is the dream over now?

The nightmare can end
Let me go, let me leave
I'm the addict in your head
I'm the one who dreams the dream
I will hold you to the fire
but I'm not who you are
You're the one who's clean and free
You are real without me

IS THE DREAM OVER NOW

YouTube:  https://bit.ly/3WTgJZv
Spotify: https://spoti.fi/4dCNWy0
Apple:  https://apple.co/4cfXe1D

I'm a terrible person
I think you know
even though I don't often
let it show

I'm a curled-up cobra
waiting to strike
all the people I know
and really like

I try to hide it, but I can't

I'm the worst of the worst
Just ask my ex
He loved me so much
he almost broke my neck
I'm the cream of a real bad crop
If you think I'm not
(If you think I'm not)
you're a stupid fool
(You're a stupid fool)
Ask pastor Ted
what I let him do
I'm a terrible person
I'm a terrible person

I can't sleep anymore
I'm up all night
staring out the window
waiting for light

Aunt Virginia will be here soon
She'll take me to
the doctor who says I need
what he can do

I'm the worst of the worst
(I'm the worst of the worst)
Ask my dear step-mother
(Ask her)
She loved me so much
(she loved me so much)
she had to get a whole lot tougher
(so much tougher)
She had to send me to a foster home
with all those people I didn't know
and they locked me in a closet so
I would be better
(I'm so much better)
It was a fruitless endeavor
(I got no apples)
because I'm bad to the core
(I'm bad to the core)
They're gonna send me to the funny farm
where I can't hurt anyone anymore

I'm a terrible person
Hmm-mmmmm
I'm a terrible person

I'M A TERRIBLE PERSON

If love were an ocean, there’d be no land
If love were a desert, there’d be only sand
You’re like an ocean I’m falling into
and I can’t fall without you

I’ve opened my heart

You give it all
You love my flaws
I let you in
Touch places I
have never been
I let you in
You are the star
that leads me home
I let you in
You light the dark
inside my soul
I let you in
I don’t have to be perfect
You love me without limit
When I dream
I let you in
When I breathe
I let you in

You show me where to look, don’t tell me what to see
Show me how to love the scars that built me
You fight for me when I wanna give up
Lead me through the pain when life gets rough

I’ve opened my heart

You give it all
You love my flaws
I let you in
Touch places I
have never been
I let you in
You are the star
that leads me home
I let you in
You light the dark
inside my soul
I let you in
I don’t have to be perfect
You love me without limit
When I dream
I let you in
When I breathe
I let you in

When I dream, I let you in
When I breathe, I let you in

I LET YOU IN

YouTube:  https://bit.ly/3M22lYN
Spotify:  https://spoti.fi/3WHKNWy
Apple:  https://apple.co/4fGPEjQ

You got a way with words
They're the best I ever heard
There's something so outrageous
about the way they sneak
into my brain and shame me
every time you speak

You know the way I feel
when you make your big reveals
There's something so absurd
about the words you pick
when I turn my back on you
you little prick

You use the alphabet
like a backdoor threat

You say hey (A)
to me (E)
You say I (I)
owe you (O U)
You can forget the I in my IQ
But don't forget, pretty boy, that
A-E-I-KNOW-YOU
Yeah, I do

You mean the world to me
but I think you better leave
It's really just offensive
that you think I owe
you for my existence
on this shit show

You say hey (A)
to me (E)
You say I (I)
owe you (O U)
You can forget the I in my IQ
But don't forget, pretty boy, that
A-E-I-KNOW-YOU
Yeah, I do

I thought I could change you before I knew
your narcissistic tendencies are you
I thought I could love you with all your flaws
but you're a lost cause

You say hey (A)
to me (E)
You say I (I)
owe you (O U)
You can forget the I in my IQ
But don't forget, pretty boy, that
A-E-I-KNOW-YOU
Yeah, I do

A E I KNOW U

YouTube: https://bit.ly/4fE2lLV
Spotify:  https://spoti.fi/4fFvTZW
Apple:  https://apple.co/3yBLLf9

I'm the last machine left for dead
in a story I made about why
and I'm left here on the edge
with no place to hide

My thoughts are having a party
with the junk inside my head
It's all a little bit dodgy
Here's what they never said

My mind is not my own
but my heart, it still can beat
I can hear it pound
like soldiers marching through the street
My mind is not my own
but my soul is somewhere near
I can hear it calling
when the daylight disappears
My mind is not my own

I wear my heavy coat
'cause I'm trying to get home
There are angels in the windows
They keep staring at my phone

I can't stop myself from this thinking
even though I know it's a game
I can't dial the phone, but it's ringing
in my head with all the blame

My mind is not my own
but my heart, it still can beat
I can hear it pound
like soldiers marching through the street
My mind is not my own
but my soul is somewhere near
I can hear it calling
when the daylight disappears
My mind is not my own

I'm not thinking these thoughts
They are thinking me
I don't know what I've lost
or what I need

My mind is not my own
but my heart, it still can beat
I can hear it pound
like soldiers marching through the street
My mind is not my own
but my soul is somewhere near
I can hear it calling
when the daylight disappears
My mind is not my own
but I know who I want to be
Someone who's not a robot
Someone who's not like me

MY MIND IS NOT MY OWN

I'm so exhausted
I can barely get out of bed
You picked my pockets
You stole the thoughts right out of my head

I can’t go on like this
and you can’t be fixed

I'm all out of care
I don't want to be
but how much can I bear
when you expect so much from me
I'm all out of care
Let me be alone
I got nothing else to share
Get out, go on
You don't really need it
You're just wanting me to feed it
The bottomless pit in you

My heart is racing
It's so hard now to catch my breath
I know I'm facing
your indirect calculated threat

I'm all out of care
I don't want to be
but how much can I bear
when you expect so much from me
I'm all out of care
Let me be alone
I got nothing else to share
Get out, go on
You don't really need it
You're just wanting me to feed it
The bottomless pit in you

I'm telling you I got nothing left
and the only one I care for is myself

I'm all out of care
I don't want to be
but how much can I bear
when you expect so much from me
I'm all out of care
Let me be alone
I got nothing else to share
Get out, go on
You don't really need it
You're just wanting me to feed it
The bottomless pit in you

ALL OUT OF CARE

I watch you from my window
You have a tab for all your socials
You're always lurkin' on the internet
That can get you into real bad trouble

I'm on my laptop, I'm loggin in, I'm comin in

Hey, Mr. Neighbor
How's it goin?
I'm watchin you online
Let's connect sometime
I like your domain name
I'm tip toe tip toe knowin
before too long
I'll be up inside your brain
Am I too much?
Is this a creepy crush?

Would you think it's terribly weird
if I whispered something dirty in your ear
If you only knew
how I wanna do bad things with you

Hey, Mr. Neighbor
How's it goin?
I'm watchin you online
Let's connect sometime
I like your domain name
I'm tip toe tip toe knowin
before too long
I'll be up inside your brain
Am I too much?
Is this a creepy crush?

Imma dark web dancer
Gonna steal your heart kinda hacker

Hey, Mr. Neighbor
How's it goin?
I'm watchin you online
Let's connect sometime
I like your domain name
I'm tip toe tip toe knowin
before too long
I'll be up inside your brain
Am I too much?
Is this a creepy crush?

Am I too much?
Is this a creepy crush?

CREEPY CRUSH

Owed me money
Never paid me
Undermined me
Tried to shade me

Alright, this time
You crossed the line

I shared my secrets
Then you spread ‘em
so, I don’t trust you
You think you’ve won

But hey, no worries
I’m in no hurry

Karma’s a bitch
Be careful
What you do
Start acting like a dick
It‘s gonna come back on you
They say it’s a law of the universe
And one day you’ll find it’s true
What goes around comes around
That’s the way it works
I’ll call you out, bring you down
I hope it hurts
You created this
Karma’s a bitch

You pulled some crap
You pulled a fast one
We’ll see who laughs last
When this is all done

I know for sure
You’ll get what’s yours

Karma’s a bitch
Be careful
What you do
Start acting like a dick
It‘s gonna come back on you
They say it’s a law of the universe
And one day you’ll find it’s true
What goes around comes around
That’s the way it works
I’ll call you out, bring you down
I hope it hurts
You created this
Karma’s a bitch

Wait for the other shoe
Someday you’ll get screwed

Karma’s a bitch
Be careful
What you do
Start acting like a dick
It‘s gonna come back on you
They say it’s a law of the universe
And one day you’ll find it’s true
What goes around comes around
That’s the way it works
I’ll call you out, bring you down
I hope it hurts
You created this
Karma’s a bitch

KARMA'S A BITCH

You know that no one knows you
And it’s best that way
They only want to own you
And put you in a cage
Ooo, ooo

You’ve got to swallow the darkness
Hide the hardness
So no one will see
Paint your walls like an artist
Build a maze like a fortress
Made of misery
Train yourself to be
A locked up heart
And throw away the key

Don’t let your eyes show secrets
No glimpse behind the veil
Stay gray so they won’t notice
And they won’t find your trail
Ooo, ooo

You’ve got to swallow the darkness
Hide the hardness
So no one will see
Paint your walls like an artist
Build a maze like a fortress
Made of misery
Train yourself to be
A locked up heart
And throw away the key

Try to make it a game
Paper over the pain
Can’t shake the shame

You’ve got to swallow the darkness
Hide the hardness
So no one will see
Paint your walls like an artist
Build a maze like a fortress
Made of misery
Train yourself to be
A locked up heart
And throw away the key

Mmmms
Swallow the darkness
Mmmmms
Swallow the darkness

SWALLOW THE DARKNESS

It’s like I’m in a dream
It feels so hypnotic
Things aren’t what they seem
Lost all sense of logic
Am I awake or sleeping?
There’s an echo when I’m speaking

What was it I was saying?
Guess I lost the thread
There’s a voice that’s playing
Like some static in my head
What was it I was saying?
I can’t work my mouth
Feels like I’m fading
And I can’t get it out
Ooh

I’m just feeling numb
Dark and blank and hollow
My heart’s given up
And my soul might follow
Reality is bending
Drifting off again

What was it I was saying?
Guess I lost the thread
There’s a voice that’s playing
Like some static in my head
What was it I was saying?
I can’t work my mouth
Feels like I’m fading
And I can’t get it out
Ooh

Give me a minute
I’m stuck way down in it

What was it I was saying?
Guess I lost the thread
There’s a voice that’s playing
Like some static in my head
What was it I was saying?
I can’t work my mouth
Feels like I’m fading
And I can’t get it out

What was it I was saying?
Guess I lost the thread
There’s a voice that’s playing
Like some static in my head
What was it I was saying?
I can’t work my mouth
Feels like I’m fading
And I can’t get it out
Ooh

WHAT WAS IT I WAS SAYING

See you lurking
Out of the corner of my eye
Now I’m searching
Through the cobwebs of my mind

It’s a mystery
Out there just beyond my reach
Tugging at me
Somewhere down there in the deep

It’s a puzzle nagging me
Feel the struggle hard to breathe
Smelling trouble I can’t see
Something subtle underneath

You remind me of someone
You look familiar
Someone I used to know from somewhere
You look familiar

Must be something
Back from somewhere in my past
Fades to nothing
And it slips out of my grasp

It’s a puzzle nagging me
Feel the struggle hard to breathe
Smelling trouble I can’t see
Something subtle underneath

You remind me of someone
You look familiar
Someone I used to know from somewhere
You look familiar

Who are you
Who are you
Who are you

You remind me of someone
You look familiar
Someone I used to know from somewhere
You look familiar

Ahh
You look familiar
Ahh
You look familiar

YOU LOOK FAMILIAR

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUbParN1GW8

Don’t fight like a girl
who doesn’t matter
I stopped fighting stupid people
and their shadows

I fight for my vision
I fight for my dreams
I fight for my ideas
I fight for my destiny

I choose my battles

I am steel
I am endless
I will rise
I'm relentless
Throw sticks or bombs
It won’t matter
I've been broken
but never shattered

Life’s not always
about the road you take
It’s how you learn to survive
in a world you didn’t create

I make my choices

I am steel
I am endless
I will rise
I'm relentless
Throw sticks or bombs
It won’t matter
I've been broken
but never shattered

I am I am I am
the rose and the thorn
I am I am I am
the sun and the storm

I am steel
I am endless
I will rise
I'm relentless
Throw sticks or bombs
It won’t matter
I've been broken
but never shattered
I’ve been broken
but never shattered


(c) Wentworth & Oakley

ISRC: TCAIP2447250

NEVER SHATTERED

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYriF-uzhgU

What you wear
over your soul
is the you
everyone knows
All the pain
that you hold
is a shame
Let it go

As you turn
off the light
settle in for the night
Questions run
through your mind
What is wrong with my life

Don't you worry about that
For everyone, it's just an act

We are all the
same in the dark
Love and pain
in our broken hearts
Scattered pieces
of colored shard
We are all the same
in the dark

Don't feel loved
Don't fit in
Not enough
So you pretend
All the fake
that they know
All the weight
Let it go

You are you
I am me
In this world we can be
just as strange
as we are
Yeah, human art

We are all the
same in the dark
Love and pain
in our broken hearts
Scattered pieces
of colored shard
We are all the same
in the dark

Full of hope and regret
things we cannot forget
And the dreams in our heads
We haven’t even reached yet

We are all the
same in the dark
Love and pain
in our broken hearts
Scattered pieces
of colored shard
We are all the same
in the dark

(c) Wentworth & O'Hanlon

ALL THE SAME IN THE DARK

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC7Bn_7fAsg

I was born who I am
I didn't fit in your grand plan
so I gave up truth
and I became you

But truth hides in the shadows
on the sidewalk in the sun
and it sticks to me 
even when I run

I'm a shadow boxer
throwing shadow punches
at a version of myself
that does not exist
I'm a hollow body
no one ever touches
Don't bother
with a shadow boxer

I never had a name
I was just a plain jane
but now I'm something more
Something you never bargained for

You want to dance with me
You want to make me dizzy
but I move like a butterfly
while I make your favorite pie

I'm a shadow boxer
throwing shadow punches
at a version of myself
that does not exist
I'm a fearless woman
no one ever touches
Don't bother
a shadow boxer

You'll never know who I really am

I'm a shadow boxer
throwing shadow punches
at a version of myself
that does not exist
I'm a fearless woman
no one ever touches
Don't bother
a shadow boxer

(c) CM Wentworth & MG Wentworth

SHADOW BOXER

I have secrets
Do you
I can bend time
I can taste blue
Some say
I'm a lunatic
OK, but
I got music

I'm a puzzle
Are you
I can hear rainclouds
I can touch true
Some say
I'm a maverick
I say
I'm music

There's a crack in the universe
where stars sing with voices
And the sounds they are beaming in
is where I begin
at the crack in the universe

There was a time
I wasn't sure
I could live
anymore
There was a moment
when I knew
I am forever
So are you

There's an energy
that expands
and I fly
without a plan
I can feel it
Can you
I can pivot
Do you compute

There's a crack in the universe
where stars sing with voices
And the sounds they are beaming in
is where I begin
at the crack

There's a crack in the universe
where stars sing with voices
And the sounds they are beaming in
is where I begin

There's a crack in the universe
where stars sing with voices
And the sounds they are beaming in
is where I begin
at the crack in the universe

CRACK IN THE UNIVERSE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFIkI8BtLhc

Life, you're like 
digging in the hard earth
when it's time for quitting
You’re like rows and rows of dying things
in a sun too hot for living
I stand in the crusty dirt
and feel myself slipping
 So I surrender
'cause I remember
 
When I am thirsty
When I'm in pain
and need the holy water
I make it rain
I make it rain
 
Life, maybe you've been hard
maybe you've been easy
When what you give is what I want
it's easier to please me
I raise my hands to the sky
and something frees me
'cause I surrender
and I remember
 
When I am thirsty
When I'm in pain
and need the holy water
I make it rain
I make it rain

The sky gets black
The thunder cracks
The lightning hits the ground
My face up to the heavens
Love the rain pouring down
 
When I am thirsty
When I'm in pain
and need the holy water
I make it rain
I make it rain
I make it rain

I MAKE IT RAIN

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSeCFf-ltbc

Can’t go on
Running out of road
Been too long
Carrying this load

Change my brain
Here I go again
Half insane
Need a new refrain

Breakdown
Breakthrough
Facing
The painful truth

How I love an existential crisis
Times like these are rare and priceless
I break down, something new arises
How I love an existential crisis

Oh well
What the hell
I’ve done this enough
and I do it well

Shed my skin
Here I go again
Moving on
Better learn to bend

How I love an existential crisis
Times like these are rare and priceless
I break down, something new arises
How I love an existential crisis

I know I'm here
but I don't know why
I'm on a spinning sphere
and I'm mystified

How I love an existential crisis
Times like these are rare and priceless
I break down, something new arises
How I love an existential
How I love an existential crisis
Times like these are rare and priceless
I break down, something new arises
How I love an existential crisis

EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

Life's not supposed to be easy
so why would I think it should be
I don't know how to
explain this to you
I just want to be free

I grew up believing in sin
but I knew I was good deep within
so I searched all the gods
Against all the odds 
I found that God is in me

And now I see
who I can be
and not for even one minute
can I ever forget it
cause I just want to be free

I'm waking up to something real
I'm ready to get off this wheel
I'm ready to live
laugh and forgive
I just want to be free

One day I will be dead and gone
but the true and real me will live on
because God cannot die
so neither can I
I will always be free

And now I see
who I can be
and not for even one minute
can I ever forget it
cause I just want to be free

I want to wake up (from the dream)
I want to wake up (from the dream)
I'm gonna wake up
wake up, wake up, wake up

And now I see
who I can be
and not for even one minute
can I ever forget it
cause I just want to be free

And now I see
who I can be
and not for even one minute
can I ever forget it
cause I just want to be free

Just want to be free

(c) Carlene McDearis Wentworth

JUST WANT TO BE FREE

That old apartment had a big bold doorknob
Black tile covered with a seagrass rug
Formica table from my mother's kitchen
Ashtray, butts piled, Joni Mitchell style

I wrote outrageous things and pinned them on the wall
They screamed "This is me, and I don't owe the world anything"

25 years old
What did I know
You were just a decent guy I met at 25
and you somehow made me think that I
could be somebody
when I was only 
25

My black upright piano there against the wall
An old battered table underneath the picture window
I watched you with the snowman melting in the sun
We talked for hours on my rotary green phone

I wrote some love songs that finally made some sense
They screamed, "This is me, and yeah, I'm gonna sing"

25 years old
What did I know
You were just a decent guy I met at 25
and you somehow made me think that I
could be somebody
when I was only 
25

The day I left that apartment
I flew to be with you
and when it didn't work
and I had to leave
and I couldn't get my apartment back
I thought I'd lost forever that part of me

But here it is again in this new and long-lost song
and I just want you to understand I've loved you all along
We were

25 years old
What did we know
We were just some stupid kids
who met at 25
but you somehow made me think that I
could be somebody
when I was only 
25

© Carlene McDearis Wentworth

Dear Mama,
I am writing you this letter from my heart
Dear Mama,
I cannot forget the way you finally had to depart
I cannot forget the way I never said goodbye
driving to Atlanta on the day you died
crying, trying to make it there

Dear Mama,
I remember how you worried all the time
Dear Mama,
I remember your worst fear was that you'd lose your mind
You forgot my birthday, then forgot my children's names
forgot the smell of springtime morning when it rains
no seasons and no reasons to really care

Bridge
Thank God it happened slowly
and you barely knew
that you'd forgotten me
and you'd forgotten you
and now that you're in heaven
you know everything
That’s what I believe
and that’s why I sing

Dear Mama,
You remember now the children that you raised
Dear Mama,
You are sitting with the wondrous God you always praised
You recall each tiny moment of the love we shared
laughing round the table, everybody there
Mama,
Alleluia,
dear Mama

You recall each tiny moment of the love we shared
laughing round the table, everybody there
Mama,
Alleluia,
dear Mama

For Mittie Morris McDearis, 1917 - 2016

© 2018 Carlene McDearis Wentworth

www.carlene.net

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