lyrics: 

might not live in this life and ever feel right

i don't see color, my eyes got bleached dry

dont believe in a god, you're what i preach by

been the stupid youth consuming shrooms,
tongue tied 

step out dover street market with the receipt signed 

alexander mcqueen, london steeze
of each kind

crying in my burberry scarf
like the queen died 

im jus tryna be free 
im gon run my own life

my own life

burn (Prod. Blonde week)

Memories don′t breathe
A years-old wound
Is third degree
I'm bleeding
And I wanna believe me
I′m bleeding
Static from a TV
Chills down my spine
Addicted to your light
Your smile is way too kind
And these lights will make you cry
Invisible faces
Ghosts turning the tables
In worlds of commotion
I need conversation
The fruits of my labor
Got shackled and mangled
Colorful betrayals
I need conversation
Your eyes in the dark
I'm seeing things larger
Your eyes in the dark
I'm seeing things larger
Invisible faces
Ghosts turning the tables
In worlds of commotion
I need conversation
The fruits of my labor
Got shackled and mangled
Colorful betrayals
I need conversation

Callused Prod. Blonde week

Desaturated 

I swear i'm shattered

I know it's endless

But i know it matters

When i see u

We'll meet by the tennis court

When i see u 

Please fill me with your hope

You got me by my soul

Don't want u to ever let go...

Tennis Court Prod. Blonde week

Let me start off by telling you the story of how I started getting called ugly. So, I had um very big trouble making friends as younger. Everyone always avoided me... found ways to get rid of me, and I sort-of didn't care back then. Um, I got some friends when I was maybe.... uhhhh... how old was I? I think I was like... ...... Im sorry if this takes time this isn't scripted or anything this is actually real. I was around...

Fragile (Interlude) Prod. Blonde week

I get lonely when you're not here
And darkness appears, leaving me stranded
My whole world shuts down
You never lived here
And I never found what I thought I did
There's a million things
There's a million things I could say
There's a million things
Theres a million things 
Wanna take it back
Wanna take it back to when we
Had it right like that 
We got it jus like that

(ORIGINAL: CLARA LA SAN - IN THIS DARKNESS)

Clara La San Prod. Blonde week

Staring into bliss,
But that bliss feels so detached 
Lost in this torture,
That's a torture I want back

Taking over me
My mind & body 
It don't feel like its me
Haze is all i can see
The world just fades away
I can't hear my voice now 
Hours feel days away 
Im stuck in this noise now

Please take hold
Im lost within my soul
Thoughts kaleidoscope 
In shades of black
In shades of gold

Taking over me
My mind & body 
It don't feel like its me
Haze is all i can see
The world just fades away
I can't hear my voice now 
Hours feel days away 
Im stuck in this noise now

(CLIP FROM THE BASKETBALL DIARIES)

Please take hold
(Taking over me)
Im lost within my soul
(It dont feel like its me)
Thoughts kaleidoscope 
(The world jus fades Away)
I can't hear my voice now 
Hours feel days away 
Im stuck in this noise now
the world jus fades away 

I cant hear my voice now 
Hours feel days away 
Please take hold 
Im lost within my soul

TV Haircut Prod. Blonde week

Take all your problems for you
I'll shapeshift 
So you dont have to 

I'll smile and nod 
Agree with every word
You say 
"Do what you want" 
"Just not what u deserve"
Being your favorite hurts 
Idk what im worth
I came in 2nd place 
Because I put you first

Take all your problems for you
I'll shapeshift 
So you dont have to

Shapeshifter Prod. Blonde week

I'll tell the truth to you
But that dont mean its not part of a lie
But im still telling the truth to you
So dont try to deny 

You got what you wanted
No dishonesty 
I'll leave you in the garden 
You got what you wanted 

I'll tell the truth to you
But that dont mean its not part of a lie
But im still telling the truth to you
So dont try to deny 

You got what you wanted
You got what you wanted 

I'll tell the truth to you
But that dont mean its not part of a lie
But im still telling the truth to you
So dont try to deny 

🎶+

I'll tell the truth to you
But that dont mean its not part of a lie
But im still telling the truth to you
So dont try to deny 

Sometimes I lie to myself Im not perfect
And honestly it doesnt help 
That nobody hits my cell
To tell me that im worth it

So when its me, myself, and I
I tell myself a bunch of lies
They're truth but they're disguised 
So i'll tell myself that.. 

I'll tell the truth to you
But that dont mean its not part of a lie
But im still telling the truth to you
So dont try to deny

Dishonesty Prod. Blonde week

Kill Me Prod. Blonde week

(A snippet of a convo w my grandmother after listening to the album together)

You know, its no fun

Because sometimes when you feel alone...
Yeah uh its no fun it can really start messing w your mind. 

But um
The pros, sometimes, I, see I am a loner. By nature. 
And I have spent most of my life alone. Um and your grandpa John and i, uh, it was just, grandpa John and i! And we had just very small hand...full of friends that we let into our circle. or our life. 

So um... and here, where i live now, I prefer to be alone. And I want everyone to pretty much leave me alone. I dont wanna socialize, of course we cant rn, but I dont wanna go to bingo.... That kinda stuff. So im quite content, your grandmamm finds peace in the quiet. So. Im kinda, its kinda like.... 

Keeping myself busy. You know, try to keep my mind off everything. I get so wrapped up in that computer it takes me away to where i don't think about a whole bunch.

Computer (Outro)

Housefly (Instrumental Bonus) Prod. Blonde week

Dead Grass (Instrumental Bonus) Prod. Blonde week

burn (chopped n screwed!!) Prod. blonde week

man i know 
i know woah 
my heart it gets froze over 
and step on the breaks 
or i might just run you over 

(recorded and produced in september 2022)

The breaks (prod. Blonde week)

Me! Hey, Me!

LYRICS:

young life 
under neon lights
drifting down seattle streets
everyone's a stranger to me
city's buzzing round me

black and blue
streetlight hues
everything feels undone
saw her swimming to spaces 
where the city meets the sun

chemical vision 
skylight blue
painted in colors
painted in two

painted it too 
painted it too 
we painted it too
we painted it too
id paint it for you 
but you dont have the vision with you 
but you dont have the vision for you

they say im out of reach 
they say im so lost in smoke
i see the neon gleam 
and i got way more than hope 
i js be pouring 4s
but i see deep shadows 
i see beneath the fucking seams i know what they all told 

they talk about freedom like they know how it feel
when i walk alone, it's only truth i steal
strangers in the city that don't know my name with heads full of colors i swear
hearts all the same they don't got no feelings i swear

tracing lines on the fucking pavement just trying to understand
why every answer here just slips through the gaps of my motherfuckin hands
slips through my motherfuckin hands
tell me why every mother f- 
slips through my-

if you could see inside this place i roam
this laughter hides the ghost
in these crowds, still feel alone
i swear im lost in translation 
too deep to fuckin explain 
a storm inside my damn head 
they cant see inside the rain 

dawn creeps in, soft as a sigh 
seattle fades, i swear that bitch got a tired eye
baby i find peace in quiet blurs and quiet nights
maybe this the days that i'll be finding my own life 

see how it feel? 
i swear we painted in two 
and we painted it too
im so stuck up on you
painted it too
hated it too

blonde week

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