In case I make it, (+Outtakes)

They paint the walls with colors that you’re not meant to notice
Beiges and browns, off-whites and grayscales
Fluorescent lights to shine on the eggshell ground
Now you’re lying face down
You blend into the background
Of white noise

They fill the halls with tunes you can’t get into your head
4/4 and Dorian, wrote ‘em for ignoring ‘em
Yeah, it sorta sounds like a retro top-40 but wrong
You’re not meant to sing along
It isn’t that kind of song
It’s white noise.

But If you listen closely I swear, to God I swear
You can hear the ocean if you hold it up to your ear, here:

White noise
If you listen close between the waves
White noise
You can hear the ocean through your wake
White noise
If you listen close between the waves
White noise 
You can hear the ocean through your wake

Check one two. Check one two
It’s high fidelity lossless quality, it’s MP 1 2 3 4 5 FLAC
It’s polyphonic, the new philharmonic, with a Julliard doctorate. Live from The Metropolitan: 
It’s theoretically dense, it’s impressive, it’s microtonal and it challenges western
Notions of art, it’s post-avant-garde, it’s going places ‘cause it comes from the heart and
Its personality’s a lack of identity. It makes no statement but does so quite loudly
It’s an aesthetic, I mean an anesthetic, and its an experience for your seventh sense, yes
Does it cure cancer? Yes, it cures cancer. Wow! It begs the question just to tell you the answer
Do you believe in the power of silence? Well if you walk the walk, can you talk more quiet?

White noise
If you listen close between the waves
White noise
You can hear the ocean through your wake
White noise
If you listen close between the waves
White noise 
You can hear the ocean through your wake

You fill your head with thoughts you find you can’t even feel
Try to make room in your skull, but its full of them
All of the things that you think and then think about thinking
I know It’s hard
But they’re not who you are
They’re white noise

"In case I make it,"

White Noise

music & lyrics by Will Wood
Produced by Will Wood
Recorded by Simon Ficken at Backroom Studios in Rockaway NJ and Jonathon Maisto at Kawari Sound in Wyncotte PA
Mixed & mastered by Kevin Antreassian
String section and choir arranged by Will Wood
Baritone ukulele, piano, keyboards - Will Wood
Upright bass - Vater Boris
Electric guitar - Mike Bottiglieri
Strings - Yoed Nir
Choir - Sofia Session Choir & Orchestra LTD.

==Lyrics==

I was right there  
While you fought tooth and nail
Gasping in the gas mask thrashing till you disappeared
Say you’re not scared, that you know it’s cause I cared and
Say you know I love you, and that hope was just not there

And I know, I know that I’m wrong
That when you’re gone you’re gone 
And I can’t bring you home
But I want, I want to believe
That you’ll remember me when you’re just memory

Roots in the ground
Or uploaded to the cloud or
Warm inside our hearts or as electrons in our head – nowhere now
Over the rainbow, can I stop by and say hello and
Sorry I would take it back if I could but I know

To love one from too far to call
Is not to love at all, to whom is it I talk?
But I want, I want to believe 
That you can still hear me when you’re just memory

Said “it’s okay”
And “It’ll be all be over soon"
I’d never let a bad thing happen to you
Now goodnight I love you

And every, everybody dies 
Fighting for their lives, just trying to survive
Well now I know, I know why we say
That there’s a better place that waits beyond the grave, oh

And I know, I know it’s not true. 
There’s just no more you but as long as there’s no proof
Then I choose, I choose to believe 
That we’ll met in sweet dreams after you’re put to sleep

Euthanasia

Will Wood takes on the perspective of a doomed mouse. Released with a stop-motion animated video by Ivan Fisher-Owen featuring intricate laser cut wood engineering and hand-animated real-world puppets, optical illusions, and animated machinery.


==Lyrics==

I have mapped the cupboards and drawers
Tracked the least-walked spots on the floor
Happy to be home, safe and warm
As shadows by their feet, the odd vanishing treat
Quietly eating while they sleep

So here’s where I’ll be raising my kids
If I can find someone to start a family with
Till then I dream of the day my odds and ends fit
I’ll wake up, there’ll be food on the stove forever
And never want for more

Is there cheese in the great beyond? 
Rinds of parmesan, wine to water, night from dawn
Life gets shorter, teeth grow long
Mind me not and I’ll mind my own, and my mind’s
Not one bite smaller or lesser than yours
Do I belong in “right and wrong?”
Nature, I guess.

One night one flung light through this place
So I run for cover, over under, left the rind out on the plate
Little heart racing and praying “something keep me safe,
I think it saw my face, okay,
One hungry day is nothing, come what may.”

But then winter came inside for three nights 
Left me grinding my teeth between my walls and gripping my dreams tight
Curled up kept my head up and put up the fight
I’ll make it through again. I have before. Come on now, what’s one more?

Is there cheese in the great beyond? 
Rinds of parmesan, wine to water, night from dawn
Life gets shorter, teeth grow long
Mind me not and I’ll mind my own, and my mind’s
Not one bite smaller or lesser than yours
Do I belong in “right and wrong?”
Nature, I guess.


Spring bloomed in the kitchen again
So I crawled out of the wall and squinting
Saw hope on the stovetop just like I’d always imagined it
More than I could eat, my dreams were finally reality
My struggles had a happy ending, they must want to be friends!

My stomach starts to turn, with thirst, why does it hurt?
My just desert is served, dig in.

And so I stumble back to bed
Something’s not quite right. Guess I’ll just go rest my head
Now as I lay me down to sleep
I expect no dreams, and no sweet goodbye to me
Flatline in the morning light. I held on so tight for so long
It’s just not right, let a sigh out as I close my eyes.
Was that all there was to this?
What’s for the best?

Is there cheese in the great beyond? 
What’s the moon made of? Meet me there after I’m gone
Life gets shorter, teeth grow long
Mind me not and I’ll mind my own and my mind
Held the same light as the one in your eyes.

Do I belong in “right and wrong?” 
One dies alone? And why? Don’t know.
Goodbye. So long. 
To mice in homes.

Nature, I guess.
Nature, I guess.
Nature, I guess.

Tomcat Disposables

==Lyrics==

The greener grass grows where the wildfires fertilize
With ashes of sparrows, peppered moths, and butterflies
Ghosts of trees and termites bloom in the beanstalk

And if you get lightheaded when standing too fast
Is it from shaking out the weight of phosphenes and pasts
Salt deposits on warm little rivers that burst from our words

And god knows crying ain’t gonna change a thing
She said “take care,” but I take more than I bring.

She said “It just feels inhumane to lose this much”
Cause when you leave, you know you take more than your love
Just one week of cicada days we’re losing touch
And I know it just feels inhumane to lose this much.

Our nerves were braided under ceiling stars, they were all
Glow-in-the-dark, hanging over queen-sized 
Purple waves of ancient chemicals
Just whisper

Did you ever build with those endangered bones?
Well the ground looks soft enough to bury this now
Oh please, oh no.

And then my sponsor said “Do nothing. Nothing works.”
And then my doctor said “Don’t do that if it hurts.”

She said “It just feels inhumane to lose this much.”
Cause when you leave, you know you take more than your love.
The seasons of cicada days we can’t make up
And I know it just feels inhumane to lose this much.

Let all my red flags fade to white, yeah, I give up
Don’t let me leave, I’ll only take more than I gave. Okay, I’ll pack my stuff
Here at the end of days, my god, what have I done?
Christ now it feels damn inhumane to get all I've dreamed of

Keep coming back, it works if you work it
So work it, you’re worth it, it won’t if you don’t
One day at a time, tomorrow’s too late, amen.

Cicada Days

You know I couldn’t hurt a fly, my friend, I’m not the type to step on ants
I’ve nearly cried for moths that die at porch light lamps
More for the plights of mice than men
See I myself have been stepped on so many times
It’s started to feel like my place
I’ve failed to fit into those nests that scrape the sky 
Is there room for me in your cage?

Animals are people too, but these people are animals
Hunt in packs and act as though that proves we can’t survive alone
I guess we just evolved disgust for prevention of infection though
Shame was an invention made for prisons, pales, and pest control
Yeah, sure, thumbs are great and all

But I just get “bare necessities," "Hakuna Matata"'s and "C’est le vie"'s,"
"Que sera sera”'s what a crock, I mean, 
Big talk for a chimpanzee!
You might seem behind bars, but friend, this cage is inside out.
It’s awful out here, Socrates.

I’ve never understood what humans do and want it’s quite confusing
To me to try to connect
Never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted
Just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect
Until frustration makes me wish my teeth were sharp as yours
Chew through their garage doors these carnivores will no more use my heart
They’d call me crazy, but their words all seem made up to me
Maybe they just need more friendship like yours

Gather ‘round pandora’s skinner’s box, look through the one-way-mirror
If you can see in shades of gray the colors are much clearer
Oh my friend, you’ve got a friend in me, et’s go make more enemies
Alhough my eyes face forward climb up on my shoulder
Sure you’ll see my point of view, I’d bring you with me

To the office in my pocket but the world would put us down
Lock me up and toss the key
You might seem behind bars, but friend, this cage is inside out
It’s dangerous out here Socrates
It’s lonely out here Socrates

Willard!

My dream girl, those eyes, that nose
My private inside joke, sign the cast on my funny bone
Floral sheets on long-given-up ghosts
Haunt my bedroom at night and say “Let’s get you home.”
They say “Grow up, be a man, ‘cause until then you’re nothing but a short-haired girl”
But come and Braille-palm-read and hold my hand, see my reason and “Goodbye cruel world.”
And oh my god, what’s wrong with me?
And the wife of Walter Keane, whose name right now’s escaping me…
That’s right, Margaret!

Dream girl come and sweep me off my knees
I’d rather stay asleep than never see you wake up next to me.

Neon lights like heat lamps in the cold
To incubate the shadows you can’t stitch back to your soles 
You seemed fine just a few days ago
But  CO2 and fish tanks do enough to get you home.

Well now you swear in your prayers telling time “Promise I’ll never have fun again
If you’d stop flying,” but then you start crying “never mind, you win!”
And far too late came far too soon
And the love you never made became the things you’d never do…
Oh, sweet Mary!

Dream girl come but keep your hands off me
Go on back to bed my love, I mean, that’s where dreams are supposed to be.

So come on, William
Grow up, be a man, ‘cause until then they’re gonna treat you like you’re just a little girl
But come and Braille-palm-read, hold my hands and you’ll see that it’s
Me who cries mercy while your fingers curl and
Oh are you at all like me?
Do you know what I mean? Or am I too close to see?
Someone, anyone?

Of the two things we do on our knees: watch me fold my hands just to crack my knuckles
Well, here is the church, here is the steeple open the doors, see all the people!
Alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home.

That's Enough, Let's Get You Home

I’m that first-person they talk about in all the books
I’m that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby it’s all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who
Don’t do it by it
So now I’m holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don’t make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this.
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground cause
If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down.

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

I loot plot-armor from NPC’s, well they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats. It’s all XP. Look in the
Sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s super-ego! The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that’s how I know I’m the hero
So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache, Snidely Whiplash
Boris Badinov, ignorin’ me’s bad enough, where do you get off?
Da, das vadanya darling, Daleks in high collars monologue 
And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
You don’t know the prose, or if the spine is still intact.
Oh, like Alice fell to wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
Embolden my demand to live by alternative facts.

Her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard loyalty” 
An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor’s new boots.
The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine 
And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu. (It’s nothing new)
We all do what we need to to get through.
But I ain’t done a fucking thing to you.

So god forbid I’m seen just as an average human being, I mean
Imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character and you have to like me.

The Main Character

Don’t take the following words as reverence for tradition
I’ve learned to pick my battles by losing most I’ve fought.
The more mores subverted, the more I sense I’m missing
And I’ll always do it my way, even if that’s just the same way I was taught.

I’ll bring home the bread and you’ll stay home and bake it
Weeding out the garden where the milestones gather moss
Crack a smile at my vows, and whisper “wow, can you believe we really made it?”
As I give up on dodging rice, and fold my cape, I say “obviously not.”

But I want to be just like my parents before I was born
Oh can we be just like my parents?

I know you don’t want kids but think about a daughter
We could name her Gwendolyn, like mom would have called me.
I’m not sure yet myself, but I learned from a good father
Yeah, I mean sure, they messed me up. But I think that’s just the gig.

And maybe it’s just some hormones that kick in in your late twenties
But I have laid a lot of women, and now I’d like to just lay down
And marriage always scared me, but I’d like to have a last love
And love can last a pretty good long while. I’ve seen it around.

Oh, can we be just like my parents when I was young?
Why can’t we be just like my parents?

Tongue out of my cheek now, I’m done pulling faces
Iconoclasm wanes. My cynicism tires
But what do I know bout forever when so far, I’ve been so fleeting?
Babe, my frontal lobe’s done growing; this might just be how I’m wired
But now we’re kissing before brushing, smile with our whole faces
If you want a hyphen last name I guess I don’t mind the cadence
I’ve seen home videos. I was there back in the 80’s
And if I’m just them and they back then could do it, why can’t I?

Just like my parents in due time
Imagine me, just like my parents? Yeah, right.

‘Cause I’ve made more mistakes, than simple empty moments
Each one as out of character as you know I tend to be
There’ll be scalpers at the cemetery gates, with all my would-be widows weeping
I’d have forgotten all their names, so why should you remember me?

But if we grow old together and you talk to my headstone,
That is, assuming that I die first, (which is fair) and assuming I don’t leave
Close enough to forever, I guess, to prove what I hoped.
I mean otherwise how am I to believe?

Becoming the Lastnames

I’m afraid of leaving my house
I’m afraid of dying of cancer
I’m afraid of black sedans, white vans, and computers
I’m afraid of losing my mind
I’m afraid of windows and airplanes
I’m afraid of my past, my fans, and my future

But I never been afraid of someone breaking my heart
Not like I’m bout to fall and cut my throat with the shards, 

And I’m afraid of damn near everything
All my life’s a panic trip, a rocket ship to planet schizoid
Hold me like a tourniquet and I you like an iron maiden
I’ve grown used to fear, but no, not to you yet my dear oh

I love you so much it scares me half to death
I’m not used to this, how did this happen?
I love you so much it scares me half to death
The other half I guess I’m giving to you. Oh, baby

I’m afraid that you’ll change your mind
I’m afraid there’s somebody better
I’m afraid of four-letter words like love, for, and ever
Or whatever.
I’m afraid you’ll notice my flaws
I’m afraid you already have. Obviously.
I’m afraid I’ll come on too strong, hold you too tight and scare you too

But I never been afraid to wear my heart on my sleeve
At least to prove I’m weak and if you cut me I bleed.
Could you be the light my X-rays need?
All my life’s a Duchovny role, oh, Gillian you won’t believe this
Spit me out you don’t know where I’ve been, hold me at claw’s length baby
I’m not used to fear of losing something I hold dear

I love you so much it scares me half to death
I’m not used to this, how did this happen?
I love you so much it scares me half to death
The other half I guess I’m giving to you. Oh, baby

I’ll twist my words, a clever turn of phrase
Sorry darling, please excuse my constant need to self-aggrandize
Coddling my narcissism, M.A.D. come ride my A-bomb
While I beg you to say I’m okay
So here’s one last lyric to sum up these thoughts I struggled to come up with
To make me seem deep and smart and then I promise I’ll shut up.
Let me think hold on I got this
Anything but I’m in love with you

I love you so much it scares me half to death
I’m not used to this, how did this happen?
I love you so much it scares me half to death
The other half I guess I’m giving to you. Oh, baby

Um, It's Kind of a Lot

I don’t owe you my heart, and I don’t owe you my body.
But you should know that I’m sorry for being careless with you.
Lord knows I owed you more, than I’m pretty sure I ever could give anybody
But I can’t pin down what normal people want from foreign objects
Bottom-shelf erotic products like me

So, I could hold your hand but keep you at arms’ length
Oh, hang me from a branch too high to climb and shake
Less rare than scarce, less diamond than rough
Unlikely to be more than the coal you fail to crush

I swear I’m really trying.
Get it together, Will, know and do better
It just don’t come natural to me to think
That you’d want me for me
I swear I’m really trying
I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best
I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet

I still don’t know who you are. I only know that I’m still lonely
That morbid sort where even company can’t cure me
And the more you reassure the less I trust
But still you gave me your heart, I only gave you my body.
Honestly thought nobody’d want it, let alone notice it’s
Gone and so I left it home but now
Now, now, now

I keep a locket with a picture of the back of my head
Oh, monkey-wrench my side view mirrors, ghost my friends
I’ve lived more lives than enough, I haven’t died quite as much
But I’m not a real person, just the shit you can’t make up

I swear I’m really trying
I’m just as exposed if I take off my clothes 
When we make the closest thing to love that I’m capable of
I don’t know why you would care. But I’m really trying
I’m sorry, I promise, I’m doing my best
I just haven’t learned how to be human as you are yet

Did I really 
Have any of that gravity? Maybe you’re quicksand
Because I really couldn’t tell how deep my footprints went
The vertex of my redemption arc, the searching of that virgin heart
I’m catatonic in your arms, cryin’ “how did I cause so much harm?”

I’m down pounding my head against the kitchen floor
Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours
Don’t say “I’m sorry but this can’t go on” I know you got scars of your own,
But hide my knives before you go, I’ll either live or die alone

I swear I will die trying
I’m still in the process but I’m making progress. 
I promise I honestly want to prove improvement’s possible
I swear I’m so fucking sorry
I’m not a good person, I’m barely a person at all, but 
Someday I’ll be perfect and I’ll make up for it all

Against the Kitchen Floor

Wonder how I didn’t die 
This is not my life. I’m no survivor, I only happened to survive.
Wonder how I sleep at night 
Well I count pink elephants, blessings and skeletons
Down the days I have left, with one eye open 
That was me screaming “Bitch, I am reality.”
And stumbling off to lose myself in a brown paper bag cause me and
Sweet Evan Williams got a date down on Avenue 
A staving shakes scraping change till daybreak 
Turns out anyone can eat out the trash
Then wake up on the freeway mid-crash

Cause I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don’t know what I’ve said
It’s a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead
It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head

Waste not want not borrowed time
Lender knows I’ve tried, to make it right, give back my life and if not
Take it cause lately I been thinking maybe I could
Take it or leave it if I can’t at least break even then I’m leaving when
I been feeling this awful since I hit bottom and
said “hand me my shovel, I’m going in.”

Oh brother – man, you call that recovered?
Tripped on a couple steps, and collapsed on the stairs
Broke my neck on the backs of those who I’ve hurt and scared
Like it’s a good thing, you said “you’ve got your whole life ahead”
Oh great, another half a century to live to regret
I’d rather be anybody else instead

Cause I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don’t know what I’ve said
It’s a half-decade hangover, either this, in jail, or dead
It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head

Sober, but so much still hangs over
Please believe me when I say I poured my whole past down the drain
Say that a second chance is a chance I can take
But I can’t make amends for things I don’t remember
I can only say I’m sorry and occasionally pray
Guess you’ll just have to take my word that I’ve changed
After one thousand eight hundred twenty five days

I was drunk when I made my bed
Now with a half-decade hangover I lay down in it
What have I done? Don’t know what I’ve said.
It’s a half-decade hangover, hand me my ibuprofen
It’s a half-decade hangover, Jesus Christ my aching head

Half-Decade Hangover

Big Fat Bitchie’s Blueberry Pie, Christmas Tree, and Recreational Jell-o Emporium

Falling up

Your stratospheric fear of catastrophe’s near, fast it’s here 
Atmosphere past your ears, fall but you’ll neverland
Second star to the right…

I’m gripping the grass and I’m pulling up daisies
Thank matter for mass and the comfort of gravity
Airplane eclipses over spirals of math, would or could the impact kill me?
Yes, yes, yes. No, no, no, no, no.
It’s just the high-noon moon saying “shoot for the stars!”
“Be the next big constellation, connect the dots between your parts!”

Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Only plastic flowers never die

With the bones of a crow and ambitions of candlewax
What do you know of control? The wind is simply at your back
It really seems pollen’s more clever than bees, so you cue the final words of Leary:
And cry “Why, why, why? Why not? Why not? Why not?”
I’d rather be a hot-air Hindenburg than an elephant tied right down to its stake
Cut ties, shed the dead weight. I ain’t saying it’s fate, but there are no mistakes

And dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Only plastic flowers never die. 

While I cry on skies of blue linoleum. 
Clouds of spilt milk, but am I the cup?
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?
Falling up. 
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?

Disney-Pixar Ludovico, Shirley Temple maraschino
Hotel rooms of Motley Crüe, Broadway producer improv troupes
Ray-Bans in your living room, eyeline hurts to be in view like
Stage fright only when its karaoke night with friends leave early
Did I earn this stupid hat? Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?
Oh, is now really a good time for a new tattoo?  

The larger they are
The harder they tend to fall
Much larger than life cause from such height
Life looks awful small

And dandelions grow in dirt
Magic mushrooms grow in piles of bullshit
I grew up in suburbia. 
Love us or hate us, pick us you’re killing us, and 
Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed
Only plastic flowers never die. 

While I cry on skies of blue linoleum. 
Clouds of spilt milk, but am I the cup?
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?
Falling up. 
(Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze 
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze, you make a wish.)
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?
Falling up. 
(Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze
You make a wish upon the dead but turn and call it a weed.
Dandelion seeds yet to ride on the breeze, you make a wish.)
Here comes the sun, am I falling up?

Did I earn this stupid hat? Is now really a good time for a new tattoo?
Oh, is now really a good time for a new tattoo?

Your stratospheric fear of catastrophe’s near, fast it’s here 
Atmosphere past your ears, fall but you’ll neverland. 
Second star to the right…
And straight on ‘till you die.

Falling Up

Well here we go, I'm turning over the same old leaf again
The seraphim on my shoulder whispering "please don't turn your head,
'Cause if it weren't for the everything then anything could happen."
If anybody needs me, I'll be in my coffin.
Girl, I guess you're just my style, you know I dig you like a tomb
And I'm sorry for the things I've done and all I ask of you but please
Squeeze it in rhythm, prevent my heart from stopping
If you still want me come and find me in my coffin.

If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
You could come a-knockin' and I'll raise hell for you
So if anybody needs me, I'll be in my coffin
I'll be up day-walking, back from the dead for you.

If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
You could come a-knockin' and I'll raise hell for you
Oh, woah, if you need me, I'll be in my coffin
I'll be up day-walking, back from the dead for you.

Maybe I should switch up the style of my mistakes
The hearts or promises I tend to prefer to break
But stop the world and melt with me, Friday I'm in love again
If you still want me come and find me in my coffin
Hold my hands, we'll dance the 12-step on my grave
I'd kill the man I am for one more chance to be yours, babe
No, I ain't begging. I'm just saying it's an option
Don't let the latest be the last nail in the coffin.

If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
You could come a-knockin' and I'll raise hell for you
If you need me, I'll be in my coffin
I'll be up day-walking, back from the dead for you.

Vampire Reference in a Minor Key

This is a desk job, a data entry five-to-niner
Yeah, I guess I'm my own boss, but everyone's my supervisor
Tell me what kind of living legend would only want a living wage?
Because I just turned 27 and I'm dying of old age.
Guess I'm just selfish. I wanna have but not be had
And I think "can I sell this?" The rainfall's a windfall the fourth wall a paywall
Whenever things get bad

So this is what I choose to do with my redeeming quality
That thing that came from the same place as my instability
It's not a gift if you pay for it and I don't want no charity
I spent all my years to end up right here, and now
I really think I'd rather leave

Cause I hate sex, I hate drugs, and I hate rock n' roll
And I hate music and my lack of self-control
And I hate sex, I hate drugs, and I hate rock n' roll
And I hate proving that I'm still human after all

It's the death of the author, you read between white chalk outlines
Well if the pen's that much stronger, then call this Harakiri as I kamikaze to my career suicide
I hate these Easter bunny encores, 2 and 4 beat claps
Stockade stages, applause and praise, and trying to chuck tomatoes back
News-feeds, groupies, critics, analytics, and
Starry-eyed stalkers who demand a man in lipstick
And a role model psycho but an echo in their chamber
Martyr to their dollar but a baby in a manger
Effigy on the alter: the parish they brandish their
Torches and sway to this love song
Screaming
"Virginia, walk on my water!"
Their apocryphal daughters with Nerf armor and AR's who want me
Caught with red hands cut my wrists and make me put white gloves on

So go ahead sure, drink my Kool-aid, it wouldn't mix well with my meds
But there's demand and a market for my brand-scars, and I can't treat the trademarks in my head
I hate to be "that guy," but I'm not that guy anymore and I made God damn sure he's dead
And I would dance on his grave, but the music I play seems to say take me instead. So

I hate sex, I hate drugs, and I hate rock n' roll
And I hate music and my lack of self-control
And I hate sex, I hate drugs, and I hate rock n' roll
And I hate music, yeah, I hate you kids
And I hate putting up fourth walls
And I hate proving that I'm still human after all
I hate proving that I'm still human

Sex, Drugs, Rock 'n' Roll

I want to meet your maker, shake him by his ensanguined damask lapels
Holler "Look what you've done, gave this planet a sun,"
"And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"
'Cause you defy creation. I hate you, I hate you, I do
Hands to the night sky, praying you might die, before I fall in love with you

So call me Amadeus, God made me famous 'cause I am his favorite
But I can hate myself so you don't have to.

Cause I like you don't you see? I just like you a little more than me.
I like you don't you see? Oh, hey, I just like you a little more than me.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh no.

I've seen the face of nature, wasted constellations crumpled up in my hands
Knowing if you're supernova, your light show is over 
But too slow to know for sure if it's a part of the plan
I hear your heart beating under the floorboards, the rhythm is a gospel to me
So how I could stand a chance, let alone dance, with the way you sweep me off these two left feet?

So call me Amadeus, but I still can't keep a straight face while I praying
But I could crack my kneecaps just to please you. Oh oh oh.

I like you don't you see? I just like you a little more than me.
I like you don't you see? Oh, hey, I just like you a little more than me.
Oh oh oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh no.

Dangling a lantern over the event horizon
Thinking it'll thank you for the light you're sacrificing
Bide time in orbit like a satellite, remind yourself
The world don't revolve around you
So don't you revolve around someone else

And rock me Amadeus! God don't explain the way time and space made us
But with the wavelengths bending it makes sense
The only thing that's "meant to be" is gravity
And what comes up must go down.

I like you don't you see? I just like you a little more than me.
I like you don't you see? Oh, hey, I just like you a little more than me.
Bit by bit and heart by heart, this won't have to end if it doesn't start.
Bit by bit and heart by heart, this won't have to end if it doesn't start.
Bit by bit and heart by heart, this won't have to end if it doesn't start.
Bit by bit and heart by heart, this won't have to end-

But it just did.

Misanthrapologist ("In case I make it," Outtake) [Live in Studio] - Backroom Studios, Rockaway, NJ

I want a new pair of shades, get paid to wear shoes
Do what I say, don't say what I do when we're alone now
High up but a low down
You know I'm not the type of guy to turn my back on a knife
And that's why I'm still looking in the mirror

I want to be safe from the fame but be loved from afar
Get paid to write my name, could you airbrush my scars?
Get my good side. Don't get on my bad side.
You know I'm not the type of guy to turn my back on a knife
It's just my luck these motherfuckers talking smack on a guy
But I'm deserving every word they could begin to apply
Well at least they know now

That I really don't care what you think or what you say
Either that or I do way too much, oh well, whatever, either way
My hearts empty and I'm trying to fill it up
But it's not big enough for the both of us
No it's not big enough for the both of us

I want no less than the best but the best I can do
Is do the worst thing first and leave the rest up to you
I'm realistic. Everyone's a critic.
If I keep beating myself up I'll keep on winning the fight and get my ass kicked
I'm poisonous not toxic
I'll admit when I'm wrong, but only to be right
And if it fits in the song, I'll rhyme that with "contrived"
Don't meet your idols. Hey fuck you, I'm your idol.
But the only label that'll sign is in the DSM-5, cause my flaws are sort of on the pathological side.
Don't call me eccentric, call me mentally sick, 'cause I ain't sold enough tickets yet to be rich, and that's the only difference

I really don't care what you think or what you say
Either that or I do way too much, oh well, whatever, either way
My hearts empty and I'm trying to fill it up
But it's not big enough for the both of us
No it's not big enough for the both of us

And if looks could kill, I'd be staring in the mirror
And if looks could kill, I'd be staring in the mirror
And if looks could kill, I'd be staring in the mirror
Even more than I already would
'Cause man I'm looking good 

And I really don't care what you think or what you say
Either that or I do way too much, oh well, whatever, either way
My hearts empty and I'm trying to fill it up
But it's not big enough for the both of us
And I really don't care what you think or what you say
I'm a cancer, I'm malignant, yeah you ought to stay away
My hearts fucking empty and I'm trying to fill it up
But it's not big enough for the both of us
No it's not big enough for the both of us
No it's not big enough for the both of us.