we both knew what this was 
and now it's gone again 

if i knew from the start 
that this is how it'd end 

i'd have never left 
i would have just stayed in 

how'd you become my life?
just to leave me in 

pools of thought i can't swim
i think i'm sinking through 

all the shades of blue 
you knew that i loved you 

flowers picked from the fields 
wilted and washed away 

all the things we would say 
just left to go decay 

i can't sleep in my bed 
because you're not beside 

staring straight through the night 
all i feel is divide 

i want you by my side 
but it's like you have died 

mourning the fucking loss
of someone still alive

bright oaks

baby 
we are trapped inside this hell 
baby 
grab my hand, escape the cell 
baby 
there is heaven in our love 
baby 
we might have to shed some blood 

baby 
look at what we've both become 
baby 
down below blessed from above 
baby 
in the fire we both burned 
baby
to the angels we return 

through 
twisted passages we roam 
love 
is the beacon to go home 
wade
through the tortured screams and moans
look
to the light and where it's shone
this 
is where both our demons dwell 
you
are my heaven in this hell

HEAVEN IN THIS HELL

if y'all run this up 200 plays i will drop the slowed version, love you all, hands down my favorite song i have ever written 
silent hill ftw 

where is my mary?
your secrets are buried here 
this air is heavy 
ash like confetti dear 

tempted by torment 
it spreads through the cement here 
i look for where you went 
each step to the descent dear 

this town is demented 
i feel this connection here
and all i've regretted 
has the streets infected dear

where will i find you?
your skin is burned and charred 
let me remind you 
i'm the reason you're scarred 

where is my mary?
your secrets are buried here 
this air is heavy 
ash like confetti dear 

tempted by torment 
it spreads through the cement here 
i look for where you went 
each step to the descent dear

WHERE IS MY MARY? (SILENT HILL) prod. kinsei

where is my mary?
your secrets are buried here 
this air is heavy 
ash like confetti dear 

tempted by torment 
it spreads through the cement here 
i look for where you went 
each step to the descent dear 

this town is demented 
i feel this connection here
and all i've regretted 
has the streets infected dear

where will i find you?
your skin is burned and charred 
let me remind you 
i'm the reason you're scarred 

where is my mary?
your secrets are buried here 
this air is heavy 
ash like confetti dear 

tempted by torment 
it spreads through the cement here 
i look for where you went 
each step to the descent dear

WHERE IS MY MARY? (SILENT HILL) SLOWED prod. kinsei

what lies beyond the veil of our dreams 
what lies beyond the steel of machines 
what lies beyond the fields of dark green
where does the water go when it streams 

take me beneath the towering trees 
become one with the cold wet leaves 
this pain has made me a deity 
drop to your knees and pray to me please 

i wanna become all that there is 
i wanna taste the reapers cold lips 
i wanna rot in mold and decay 
i never wanna see the light of day

what lies beyond the veil of our dreams? (prod. awfuldrama)

falling into you, makes me feel alive 
crawling into you, into you i'll dive 
love the way you move, look me in the eyes 
one can become two, you are my demise 

we don't have to stay 
we can get away 
we can leave this place 
we don't have to stay 
we don't have to stay 
we can get away


put your hand in mine, show me what you are 
it'll be just fine, let's just drive real far 
let's just take a ride, to the furthest star 
it's just me and you, and this love of ours 

put the car in park, love on me tonight 
melting into you, you can take my life

DRIVE

i am so sorry this happened to you 

i watched her 
fall apart 
i stitched her 
cold dead heart 

wiped her eyes 
when she cried 
cut in deep 
her pain, it seeps

i watched her 
fall apart 
i stitched her 
cold dead heart 

i watched her 
consumed by dark 
blades on skin 
she paints her art

i stitched her cold dead heart

heartbeat 
is not something
that is pumping 
through me 

in my flesh 
is puss and cess
i'm melting 

drenched in blood
the locusts flood 
they're buzzing 

strip my bones 
the dirt's my home 
flies humming

HEARTBEAT//28 WEEKS LATER

i run to her 
amidst the pain
i come to her 
when i can't take 

this cold dark dread
that makes me ache 
it's in my head 
my heart, it breaks 

i feel the end 
inside my veins
i lay in bed 
what will it take 

to make it all
just go away 
i wrap my arm
and drift to space 

i run to her 
amidst the pain
i come to her 
when i can't take 

this cold dark dread
that makes me ache 
it's in my head 
my heart, it breaks

HEROIN pt. iv

i feel like i gotta let her know
that i, have never, ever been this low
you find me, posted with a fo
in the sea, drown them sorrows hoe

i just blew all the fucking blow
blood is dripping down my fucking nose 
i feel like i gotta let her know
that all this shit ain't for fucking show

i really live this girl
i really live this girl 
my head is in a whirl
these drugs are now my world

baddest bitch up on my lap
god that ass, so fucking fat
catch me smoking up the trap
got my hand up on my strap

wants to fuck me cause i rap
unwrap the bitch, like gift wrap
glass table filled with racks
smoke a blunt while she count that

i think i'm in a dream
i think i'm in a dream
she said that she loves me 
she said that she loves me 

she stares while i bleed
leaks of red, from my nose
she loves it when i scream
she loves it when i let go 

how could you not love me 
how could you not love me
wake me from this dream
wake me from this

WHAT I DREAM BECOMES A NIGHTMARISH REALITY (PROD. WILLIAM KURTIS)

inhale your breath, or i can't breathe 
you're the moon, i lay beneath 
cast your light, through my darkened soul 
your skin tells me, what i wanna know 

you are me, and i am you 
bleed into me, one is two 
fade into me, merge your soul 
seep into me, i want to know 

what's done to you, is done to me 
i'm the sun, you lay beneath 
cast my dark, into your lightened soul 
ask away, what do you want to know

inhale your breath, or i can't breathe

like the shattered bits 
of a bullet that has hit 
the warmth of a deers skin 
i have found my way in

nestled into fur 
take a dive and then i stir 
pouring into her 
we mix into a blur 

like the shattered bits 
of a bullet that has hit 
the warmth of a deers skin 
i have found my way in

nestled into fur

needle, my sweet escape 
you are the drug that i can't erase 
your touch is fire, burn through my veins 
in your embrace, i'm numb to the pain 

you pull me under, into the dark
tangled whispers, that leave their scars 
in my bloodstream, substances dance 
codependent, make me relapse 

your kiss is my fix, baby i'm craving more 
the weight of the world, take off what you wore 
under influence, your skin i explore 
keep pulling me closer, what's mine is yours 

to say i'm addicted, is a harsh truth 
i want my whole being consumed by you 
if all i remember is what i do not 
how do i stay sober, when i have forgot

HEROIN pt. v

waves crash against the shore,
our dreams drift in the sea.
the echoes of what we both were,
are the ghosts that now haunt me.

everything about you haunts the air,
a trace of what used to be.
in every breath, i see you there,
a phantom that just laughs at me.

waves crash against the shore,
our dreams drift in the sea.
the echoes of what we both were,
are the ghosts that now haunt me.

PHANTOM

why won't you let me out?
it's been years, i've been in this cage 
for you i am devout 
shed your tears, you paint me in rage 

all those sweet things you say 
you want to see me decay in my grave

shackled in your domain 
wrapped in the chains, the walls are dark grey
i know what you try to convey 
the blood that i bleed, is why i'm your prey 
you tell me while i weep that i'm a waste 
but i'm so in love, i want it anyways
do what you want to me i'll embrace 
that no matter what, i'm stuck in this place

i fell in love with this basement, and you  (prod. x.xcupidx.x)

all i feel is so painful 
cut by the hands of an angel 
all you are is so hateful 
why the fuck are you able 
to stare deep into my eyes 
and make me just want to die  

all i feel is your hatred 
all alone in this basement 
all i feel is invaded 
hands around my throat is so sacred 
angel eyes tore me apart
left me bleeding with a broken heart

all i felt was my lover 
make me beg while i suffer 
all i felt was my summer 
turn cold while i got smothered 
your angel eyes, they never cry 
promised heaven, what a fucking lie 

all i felt was a sinner
burn me with words like loose cinders
all i felt was my winter
turn warm with what is within her 
her angel eyes look like the sky 
close my eyes and say goodbye

angel eyes (prod.blyatifuldawg)

you say you wanted more
i heard it all before 
if i stay it'll hurt me more 
if i leave, will you close the door 

you say you wanted this 
when you gave me one last kiss
if i stay, maybe we can fix
whatever ruined this 

i know you want to see what I've locked inside 
i know it hurts your heart when i run and hide 
you know it's not your fault, i just want to die 
if i show you me, you will run and hide 

why don't you scream some more 
i heard it all before 
if you stay i'll just hurt you more
if you leave, i will close the door

wHaTeVeR rUiNeD tHiS (prod.cristalbeach)

your eyes, a shade between wrong and right 
all of my days blend into night 
i scream your name over the rain
just to hear you say, don't wait
if i wait eternity, no less
it's better than leaving here heartless 
i'll wait in the cold, the endless grey 
still hoping you'll come back some day

if i wait eternity, no less (prod. qyurisuu, nihil2free)

matching your pace

the white noise surrounds me, and it pulls me straight in 
such a haunting sound you are, it's under my skin 
thought i heard your voice in there, but it's still unclear 
just a fading echo, i know the end is near 

now i hear the silence hum 
the loss of you, i must succumb 
no more pain, but no more love 
i'm leaving now, i wish you'd come 

how is it you're everywhere but you're never there?
i don't think my heart can take much more of despair 
you told me that you'd be fine, you said, yes i swear 
now i'm standing at your grave i scream it's not fair 

HEROIN PT. VII

i'm so trapped
i got the drugs on me 
kill the pain
baby just set me free
ghost in my bed
no you won't let me sleep 
talk to the sky, and it talks back to me 

i'm so trapped
i got the drugs on me 
lines on the sink 
i miss your love, on me 
tears in my drink, no i can't feel a thing 
if i die tonight, would you cry for me?

woke up alone, i don't know what's real 
your names on my phone, i hate how this feels 
drowning in my sins, consumed by all this guilt 
i fucked her last night, and then my tears all spilt 
touched what isn't you, and threw up in the car 
felt my hands on fire, how did i come this far 
thought i'd hit the gas, and throw it all away 
i'd rather just die, than have to feel this pain 

talk to the sky

chris and adrianna (PROD. SEGADOR)

if i die, i don't really give a fuck
pop the pills, you can watch me self destruct 
if i'm dead, it'll be around dusk
all my life, all i ever got was fucked

i'm an angel, but my fucking wings are cut 
any joy in my soul has been sucked
got my heaven in the back of my trunk
i will kill myself, i've had enough

as the sun has rised, it'll fall
just like my body in this off-white hall
i tried to reach out, so i called
but she just ended up declining all

i can hear all the voices in the wall
they just scream at me, it's your fault 
the shadows stretch, and now they crawl
they tower over me, they're black and tall

one final plea before i'm dead
when you take my corpse off the bed
make sure that my ashes are spread 
anywhere is better than my head

i'm so sorry mother, i'm so sorry father
i'm so sorry brother, i cannot live no longer
i'm so sorry Ashley, i hope you all forgive me 
this darkness that is in me, has finally killed me

if i die, listen to this

waking up to rainy days
why the fuck am i awake
fuck the sun, i draw the shades
and a sigh, i guess i'll wait
till everyone in this fucking house
finally goes about their days
i conversate
but my mind is on vacation
have a time share
for the darkest of the basements
where the light is vacant
and the shadows stay in
the cobwebbed corners
of my subconscious
and if i'm honest
i think i'm running
what from, who knows, but it's something
it's like this creeping dread, inside my head, it wants me dead
but i sprinted too fast, so it took my friends instead
don't know if i'm alive, i want the fucking lead
to spread my brains all over the fucking bedspread
and my ex bitch
she's with some other fuck
all our memories are tainted, and i'm feeling so fucked up
to see her live the life i wanted with that fucking fuck
she don't want me
kinda feels like no one does
my momma pushed me out her body after those nine months
then she pushed me out her life, left me to myself
my dad was too busy drugging up somewhere else
took after him, started tainting all my veins
heroin is heaven when you've lived a life of pain
i look in the mirror, i don't like what i see
sanity is something i don't think was meant for me
losing grips, my grip was weak, and reality
slips away from my mind, and all that i percieve
is a dream, it isn't real, i'm trapped in purgatory
reaper creeping close, grinning wide, he's wanted me
i think it's time to give in and just fucking bleed
my heart beat, begins to cease, leave me in the trash
all i want is to be taken out, just let me crash
do not resuscitate, let the pills do their job
let em work full time until i'm not alive

PSYCHOSIS/I REGRET EVERYTHING (PROD. EARL SWEATSHIRT)

Cut off the lights
Can’t stand my face
Bags under eyes
Can’t leave this place

Scars on my neck
From dreams I hate
Time moves slow
I rot, I wait

Can’t feel love, can’t feel death
Just one breath, then one less
Bite my tongue, bleed in bed
Nothing helps — I live in dread

Tears don’t fall, I just decay
Hands go numb, I fade each day
Say you care, but never stay
Still rotten — locked away
Tears don’t fall, I just decay
Hands go numb, I fade each day

Eyes go black
Skin turns pale
Bite my tongue
Dreams all stale

Can’t go back
Heart won’t heal
Voice like ash
None of this real

No more love
Just this rot
Blood on sheets
Sleep forgot



insomnia (prod. Septfree)

dead roses inside my hands
ash on my tongue i cannot stand 
the taste of who i am 
i wanna be a better man 
just shadows and shaking hands
dead roses inside my hands 

i don't feel the high no more 
drugs never fill the hole 

blood seeping from all my pores
pain is all i'm asking for 
what in the fuck am i living for 
petals drop down to the floor 
dead roses inside my hands 
i wanna be a better man

DEAD ROSES

lost in the streetlights, so many sleepless nights
head full of voices, i don't ever feel right
cold hands, with an empty bottle sitting by side 
thinking bout the times you didn't say goodbye 

lost in the streetlights, what the fuck is a home 
calling out your name, but i'm still alone 
tears on my face, yeah, they fall real slow 
don't really give a fuck if tomorrow shows 

head down, clench my fists
bottle sipped, stomach twists 
jaw clinched, fuck that bitch 
never wanted none of this 

streetlights

sitting, smoking, toking, wish you'd hit my phone 
it's all i think about, it's worse when i'm alone 
every time i call i hear a dial tone 
i miss it when we lived together in our home 
i miss it when we said forever, where'd you go?
i'm off a foreign substance, void is in my bones 
you're all i think about when i'm fucking these hoes 
nobody knows me better, it's what i hate you for
around last year, i fucking boarded the door
i never let you in, which made you see me more
blind to the light, stayed in the shadows 
have a pistol on my right, coke is up my nose
should i tell her that i love her fore the pistol blows?
hear my parents fighting, generational curse 
see my stepdad screaming, thought his veins would burst 
saw my mother crying when she'd see his worst
so why in the fuck did i do it to her?

saw my brother crying when it happened to him
saw him tryna save me, kept my light lit dim 
should've saved my sister from what he did
by saving him first, instead of raising my fist 
i take this out on everybody, including myself 
i should've let her love me, there's no saving myself 
keep my ashes in the urn up on the shelf 
i've been having thoughts about hurting myself 
she's all i ever think about, and that belt
everything human, beaten out of my shell
cause that's all i really am, living this hell
i keep living in a motherfucking cell
put the pistol in the middle of my head 
brains carry memories, spread in the bed 
do you think they'll care about me if i'm dead?
do you think they'll care about me if i'm dead?

generational curse

the lyrics are from the perspective of two people amidst a breakup
it is open to interpretation to determine who is saying what 
everyone will see it differently 
thank you for listening 

leave it to me, my love, i don't 
think that we should be here, don't 
leave it to me, i'm a freak, i'm a joke
leave it to me, i'm so weak, and i won't
be what you need, i'll just leave, and you'll choke
on burning tears, all your fears, when you're woke
you will not sleep, will not eat, and your throat 
will scream for me in the nights you're alone 

hearing your words in the wind cuts to bone
where do you go when your home isn't home?
unknown in life, but in death, you will know
when you see my name etched into stone 

leave it to me, my love, i don't 
think that we should be here, don't 
leave it to me, i'm a freak, i'm a joke
leave it to me, i'm so weak, and i won't
be what you need, i'll just leave, and you'll choke
on burning tears, all your fears, when you're woke
you will not sleep, will not eat, and your throat 
will scream for me in the nights you're alone 

hearing your words in the wind cuts to bone

leave it to me (etched into stone)

put your hand in mine 
baby let's go 
i'm falling so deep 
losing control 
the sky fades to red 
we ride alone 
you're all that i have 
since we left home 
driving through the night 
smoke in our clothes 
your voice in the dark 
it's all i know 

the high beams cut 
through dreams and doubt 
but we're alive now 
that's all that counts 
i know where to go 
to stay this lost 
if i find you there 
we'll be intercrossed

somehow the choice of existing in this pain with you sounds much more healing

Goth hoe, geekin off my snow,
Black nails scratchin’ through my soul,
She don’t talk, she just let it go,
White lines, now I’m losin’ control

Goth hoe, geekin off my snow,
Eyes roll back, she movin’ slow,
Heart cold, but her lips low,
Say she love me, I just say, “I know”

Goth hoe, geekin off my snow,
Black nails scratchin’ through my soul,
She don’t talk, she just let it go,
White lines, now I’m losin’ control

Dark hair, pale skin in moonlight,
She said, “Baby, you don’t look right”
Pop two, then we take flight,
Fade out, never see daylight

She my drug, yeah, I need that dose,
Touch me once, I might overdose
Feel my heart, it don't beat no more
Die for love, yeah, she'll never know

Dark hair, pale skin in moonlight,
She said, “Baby, you don’t look right”
Pop two, then we take flight,
Fade out, never see daylight

ccryptkkeeper

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