At the end. When he says im good thank you. Was this all in his head that he wanted to say but didnt?

I had my first panic attack when I was 9 I spent the night at my brothers cabin at a camp and I couldn't breath my chest felt tight and I couldn't take it anymore so I left at 6:45 and walk around the camp then came back 4 hours later shaking

This captures my feelings so accurately, personally its really exhausting to bring this stuff out. People around us want to help but I dont know how to let them in without turning against them.

is there a thing for the music in the back

Lyrics :
I’ve seen dead people in front of my eyes
Searching for a high that couldn’t provide
A lifetime of a lifetime
Now who am I?
To tell you what to do and not do
Well I’m just a guy
I’m only 19, but I’ve seen things that no one should see
Body laid out pale
Dead from an OD
Willing to die for something that’s gone be temporary
Searching for a high that’s gonna be unnecessary
Soon as it’s over
And you forget what happened
10 minutes of being sober and then you right back at it
You say you not an addict
They say I should stick to rappin
But I've seen too many people die
And I finally had it
I’m tired of seeing people I love
Getting caught up on drugs
Not knowing when to say enough is enough
I’m tired of all the pain
I’m tired of all the sorrow
I’m tired of not knowing if I’ll see people tomorrow
Or they’ll
Be gone because they want to live reckless
Thinking that the drugs are gonna make them be stressless
But when the high is over
Life becomes real again
The feelings that they had before they gonna start to feel again
So they popping on them pills again
In an attempt to never feel again
They thinking that it’s healing them
But in reality it’s killing them

I don’t want to throw my life away
I don’t want to see you die today
I don’t want to throw it all away (yeah)
I don’t want to throw my life away
I don’t want to see you die today
Don't want you to throw it all away (yeah)

Why we gotta separate so soon?
Because you thought the drugs would heal your internal wounds
Living life on the edge like your body would be immune
To all of the consequences till you ended up dead in your room
Now it’s crazy
Cuz we won’t ever talk again
I just wish I would’ve told you stop popping them
And to stop shooting up heroin deep inside your veins
But at that point I already knew that nothing would change
You were addicted
And there was nothing I could do
I can’t imagine all the pain that you were going through
You said you thought that no one loved you, I just wish you knew
How much that God honestly cared for you
You see the problem is that people think that Gods is evil
We blame God for the problems that we create as people
We've got a choice between life and death and we choose the needle
In the end
The consequences prove to be lethal

I don’t want to throw my life away
I don’t want to see you die today
Don’t want you to throw it all away (yeah)
I don’t want to throw my life away
I don’t want to see you die today
Don’t want you to throw it all away (yeah)

I’m sorry that you went out like that
You were drowning and the drugs were your life raft
You didn’t know they were pulling you down
And now I’m praying for your family, you’re no longer around
You're no longer around
You're no longer around
You're no longer around
And now I’m praying for your family, you’re no longer around

Drug Abuse

This isn’t on SoundCloud so I decided to upload it :)

Gremlin - More Than You Think

Dear Anxiety || Spoken Word by Clayton Jennings

Lyrics:

Livin on the edge, dunno where to go
Surrounded by a crowd but I'm all alone
Veering off the path, on a different road
Is this where I belong, I will never know

I'm doing this for me because it's all I need
This moment that I live is all I'm guarunteed
I may never wake up when I go to sleep
So I'm living in the moment and I live for me

Drivin in the night, the therapy of the mind
Listening to music thinkin how to live a life
Where you were never living like you felt you were alive
So you going through the motions saying everything is fine

But deep within your heart you feel like something isn't right
And all that you are feeling isn't showing when you write
So now you feel like all you ever do is dissapear
Feel so fuckin numb you couldn't try to shed a tear

But, You feel your running in a circle
Everyday's an obstacle that you have got to hurdle
Pushin through the pain but the weight is growing heavy
Wake up in the morning never wanting to get ready

But the more you hide away the more you losing any purpose
Wonder if existence in this world is even worth it
Everyday is gray, Feel like you can't pray
Cuz you're scared that even God isn't hearing what you say
--
Times are getting tough and I slip into depression
A knife into the heart but I will never show expression
And now within my mind there is a permanent impression
That the only way to love is take your feelings and suppress em

So I been building walls so I can never love again
And now all that I think of is the music and a pen
This room that I have built is really all I know of home
And I wonder to myself why I'm feeling so alone

--There really isn't any question
All it really takes is just the truth and a confession
I'm scared of getting hurt so I would rather be alone
So when people are around I'm always hidden in my phone

Still I really wonder why I feel so fuckin broken
I don't why I hurt, but I know I'm sick of hopin
That I can make it better and that I can make it right
Been moving for a year but now I'm losing all my fight

Seems like anymore that all my words are losing weight
What's the point of speaking if you don't know what to say
What's the point of livin if you can't accept your fate
And all they ever say is that it's better if you wait

--Been waiting for a while now
Been faking my expression but only holds my smile down
Running from the pain hopin that it would be mild now
But it's all up in my head, now you're telling me to smile now

huh, now my mind is going weak
Another fucking burden and I'm falling to my feet
The pain that i been feeling isn't really new to me
But now everything I feel is out for everyone to see

And everything I know has started falling into pieces
Look into my soul, wonder where my inner peace is
But everything inside going cold and as it freezes
My mind is shutting down as a result of these diseases

Maybe I am weak, maybe all I am is dirt
And karma came around so all I ever feel is hurt
Addictions that I fight while I am weaker than you know
No matter what I say it feels I never seem to grow

I started making music as a way to vent the pain
Writing what I felt because I knew I'd never say
When I look in a mirror all I see is not enough
Never hated who I am but still I hate who I've become

Fuck, I guess I better face it
I wanna do what's right got me up at night n pacin
All I wanna see is just the glimmer of the light
It's not within myself but I can see it in your eyes

If I can make it better for a single fuckin person
Tell me what you're feeling now I swear you're not a burden
I know i'm broken down but I only wanna help
I  tear myself apart, conversations with myself

Dear Anxiety || Spoken Word by Clayton Jennings

It's YaBoi

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