Don’t Be Scared, I Love You

I was working on the vocals for this song in the midst of a breakup from a five-year long term relationship. Intentionally, I had drawn up old memories, looked at old photographs, thought about her, thought about what we could have had together. Those kind of vulnerable memories and thoughts about turning back time. My friends said I was crazy, but I think it made for a better vocal performance. If I had inadvertently sacrificed the healing process for art then so be it. Lyrically, the song draws upon some recent experiences but also fictionalizes the whole process. In a sense it really feels like she disappeared and vanished from my life. We Never Fell In Love.

Never Fell In Love

Grieve For You

This is the title track from my forthcoming LP. A lot of the sounds throughout this song are sampled or manipulated in some form or fashion. I decided to use my voice as an instrument and the process came very easily. The majority of the song was improvised and recorded in one take, I only ended up overdubbing an additional vocal track that was chopped up and looped. No laptops were used to manipulate or create any sounds. 

Fish-Tailing

I wrote this song in October 2011, when I was incapacitated from a terrible sinus infection. I felt like things in my life were stuck in the same ongoing motion, I felt like a writer's block was imminent. The month of October was unexpectedly interesting, it kind of awoke me to new possibilities in my life. New creativity began flourishing, and I felt like I could finish the album by the end of the year. With the turn of events in my life, I ended up losing my job due to the illness giving me even more time for creative pursuits.

Levitation

I wrote the music for this song back in October of 2010, and when I created it I immediately named it Stage Fright. Perhaps there have been some subconscious fears that were not addressed. My music has been very secretive for years, and I'm wondering why exactly that reason is. I can come up with excuse after excuse but in the end it doesn't matter. I wrote the lyrics during the month of December 2011, which is a pretty big gap from start to finish. That's how my music's gestation period was for so long. Now things seem to be moving fairly briskly, and creativity is fruitful. I want to finish things and keep pushing through to some sort of never-ending pursuit of experimentation. 

Stage Fright

The lyrics to this song came to me in random social situations, driving to social gatherings, trying to connect with people in a genuine manner and seemingly failing. Or at least it felt like it. I'd be driving to some place where I am supposed to feel welcome and when I arrive internally it felt like I was lost and oppressed in some manner. In this point of my life, I am still discovering who I am and what it means to live a fulfilling life, and to me that is human relationships. Relationships: whether they be friendships, familial connections, sexual relations, your relation to strangers and how open you are to meeting new people. Constant connections. The music was composed of a skeletal drum beat that I had programmed, and also looped my voice throughout the song. There were several setbacks with recording (ie: mysteriously vanishing tracks, sounds that were manipulated and never saved as an internal preset in the synth, general eerie feelings while tracking). I tried to use anti-sleep and nocturnal habits as a way of pushing the song and recording process forward. In the end, while recording and writing lyrics I was surrounded by people, yet felt really disconnected from it all. This is the start of something new.  

Human Connection

I wrote the title for OCD while Binging on episodes of Hoarders and Obsessed in 2011. I recorded most of the music around that time but didn't know how to write a song about someone with OCD. I thought that I would get a notebook and compulsively write down phrases addicts and mentally crippled people would say. That never actually ended up happening. I put the song down for a long time. Lyrically this song is my way of expressing the dark cloud that I felt when I found out my ex had cheated on me, the secrets, lies, outer appearances seemingly fine but there is a crack in the veneer. I had at one point felt a black spirit pressing down on my chest which seems to have foreshadowed some of the darkness I went through. The distorted vocals were accidental, but as Brian Eno said “Honor your mistake as a hidden intention.”

Stuck At The Mall

I was greatly influenced by the concept of Hemispheric Synchronization while making this song. I hope it alters your brainwaves subconsciously into an expanded state of awareness. I've downloaded the Gateway Experience Series, and strongly considered sampling Robert Monroe's vocal instructions coming out of the right earphone. I decided against it because I felt it actually detracted away from the other instrumentation (and I don't know if his foundation would ultimately approve of the unauthorized use). 

Hemi-Sync

Any Little Thing (Ft. Siena Friend)

Sex, drugs & breakfast foods. I call it Cerealman.

Cerealman

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