We're a rather violent species. When we get frustrated or angry we tend to lash out and try to beat the offender of our good sensibilities into submission. If it's an animal, we may physically beat them (stupid dog, shouldn't have done that, you were asking for it!). If it's another person we may imagine punching them in their stupid faces (stop being a dick). But in the end, that violence within us becomes part of the reason that we are so willing to accept the violence we see in the world around us. If we are violent we better be ok with the violence around us, or else we may be forced to re-evaluate ourselves. So, we tell ourselves that violence is just a natural part of the human condition, it's normal to have outbursts (If you don't be quiet this INSTANT I will leave you on the side of the road!). Violence is natural... Or is it?

Violence Within becomes Violence Without

There are many terrible things that happen in this world, mostly carried out by human hands. It's easy to claim and feel as if we are in no way responsible for those things, for those acts of violence. However, if we look within ourselves we will see that there are thoughts, judgements, beliefs, words and actions that we have lived that are discriminatory, violent, superior etc. Each of these seemingly small concessions that we allow ourselves form part of the whole that we see in the world - ie in other people. So when someone shoots up a gay nightclub, you may not feel responsible at all - but remember that the gunmen internalised all of the judgements about gays from all the people he/she met during their life and created such an intense emotional reaction to gay people that it built over time into a complete possession where they then channeled all this rage into a violent act. We are each creators in this world and society, no matter how seemingly insignificant our contribution.

Might as well have Pulled the Trigger

We all get stuck sometimes, stuck in our thoughts and emotions. Most of the time we can snap out of it, but sometimes those experiences become overwhelming and we feel like we have no control over them. We sink deeper into despair and powerlessness. We feel like we're drowning. We feel like there's no way out. As much as we feel like we're lost within the thoughts and experiences, we are there only because we believed those thoughts in the first place. We believed them to be true and real. We did not question for even a moment whether our thoughts (our mind) have our best interests at heart. 

When you Believe that you're Stuck

Most of us have experienced feeling left out, unwanted, judged, unwelcome - but few of us recognise the true source of this personality system: Self judgement.

Outsider

Some of us feel like we need to do everything ourselves, that other people are just not up to the task and that if you want something done right, do it yourself. Sometimes we convince ourselves that with every single project or responsibility in our lives, if we don't do it then no one will. Living this way is not only stressful and often overwhelming, it is also simply not effective or practical. It also prevents other people from developing themselves within roles of responsibility and initiative. Sometimes, you just have to step back, give someone else the opportunity to take responsibility within a role and then support them to become effective within it. 

Releasing the Control Freak Within: You don't have to do Everything Yourself

What is holding you back from trying new things, or from developing yourself in an area or skill that you previously dismissed (or even avoided)? I don't like cameras, but given the opportunity to develop myself in creating videos, would I deny that point of self development simply because I fee uncomfortable in front of a camera? My immediate response is "EEEEK! Camera!!" and then *run away* - but who am I within that response? Am I the master of my life or a slave to my thoughts and experiences? 

Stepping out of Your Comfort Zone

We all know how much our mood can be influenced by missing a meal or two, hunger tends to make us ill-tempered and emotional. Imagine for a moment what it must be like for those people who experience this every day. How much does hunger effect the direction and outcome of their inner selves and life choices? 

The Hunger Effect

We all know that the sales industry is filled with liars and cheaters, but somehow we keep falling for their little tricks. We enjoy feeling special, we enjoy being treated well - so much so that we'll buy something that we don't actually want, or go into a bad deal. In the way the system is designed right now, people feel that it is necessary to lie, manipulate and even cheat in order to survive - and yet wouldn't we ALL feel better if we brought integrity into the marketplace. As it is now, everyone comes out feeling like a loser and the ones who don't are either psychopaths or immune to emotional manipulation.

Integrity in Sales

The standard operational procedures in the average human life are centered around doing whatever is necessary to avoid, suppress and ignore all the things that we don't like or understand. There's a pill for everything these days - don't like how you're feeling? Well you have hundreds of pills to choose from that will make you feel like an entirely different person (for a time. T's & C's apply). Feeling sick? There are some pills to suppress those pesky symptoms you're experiencing (T's & C's apply). Don't want to face yourself in developing a long term relationship? Leave the bastard and find someone new! In the process of running away from ourselves we've become rather good at ignoring and pushing down those parts of ourselves that we don't like - but what are the consequences of doing this? Are we not actually breaking ourselves into pieces?

Inner Chasms

If we sit idly back and accept everything in the world as being "just the way things are" then nothing will change. Change starts with each one of us - we need to actively participate in creating the change we want to see in the world. 

From Passive to Active Participation

The recent Brexit vote brings to light the absurdity of our current definition of the word "democracy". How can just over half of people be called the majority on any scale of fairness? 

What is Real Democracy?

Another day of horror passes as yet another airport is bombed and more are killed in the name of something. Something that is nowhere near worth killing for. This keeps happening and will keep happening, there's not much you or I can do to change it today or even tomorrow. What we can change is the way that we create ourselves - the thoughts, judgements, beliefs, opinions that we have to, on some small scale, justify some of the awful things that people do. If you have just one thought about how you judge someone as being inferior to you then you are part of the creative force behind inequality. The acts of violence that someone commits all started with one thought, and that thought was fueled by the similar beliefs and opinions of the people around them. None of us are innocent - we all contribute to the world system and our society to some degree. It's time to start reflecting on exactly how we are living as the creative force of our world and ourselves. 

My Acts of Terror

We all have limits to our empathy - but what does it mean to lack empathy? What value does empathy have if we are unwilling or unable to act on it and actually support those we see suffering around us? 

How far does your Empathy go?

In most areas of our lives, we tend to have a nasty streak that comes out and makes its mark on the people around us. Sometimes it seems to come out of nowhere and brings only shame, but often we say things to others or about others that make them feel bad and us feel good. Why are we so willing to be cruel to each other, especially if we stand to gain something?

In Love with Cruelty

We are all for sale in this world system. We're all selling different parts of ourselves. How much are you worth? How much does your value change when you and your family are hungry? We're all for sale, and the price tags are much lower that we imagined they could be in the fantasy of our youth.

I, me, we for Sale

Who is to blame for the way the system works? Who is to blame for poverty, drug abuse, crime, alcoholism and more? Why do we expect those who are most affected by social ills should be the ones who demand change?

Who is to Blame

Why do we react so strongly to discussions about sensitive topics? Why are we so opposed to looking into the causes of our societal (and personal) issues? Why is the first response to discussing the causes around a "sensitive" topic anger and hatred? In order to change the issues we face in this life we must be willing to discuss them openly, honestly and objectively - in doing so we empower ourselves to understand the issues, what causes it, how it is perpetuated and from this we empower ourselves to develop holistic solutions that address the cause, rather than the symptoms. 

Can't Talk, it's Taboo!

There is no way that you or I could make a substantial difference in the lives of all the living beings who are suffering in the world, not on our own. As an individual I have a small effect in the bigger picture, but as many individuals, our voices can be heard above the din of the crowd. Make your addition to changing humanity (and therefore the world) count.

Make Your Plus 1 Count

We often misunderstand each other by interpreting words or behaviour one way and then assuming that our interpretation is accurate. Effective communication is a skill that we are not born with, it is one that must be practiced - and the most important thing to do when practicing communication is to ask questions and not make any assumptions about what someone else means.

Misunderstood

Discrimination is one of those things that only exists because we all do it to some degree or another - the key is to take responsibility for all aspects and degrees of discrimination within ourselves.

The Truth About Discrimination

We as humanity don't really know much about how our bodies work (and don't work), contrary to the appearance we tend to put on that we know everything about everything. Unfortunately coupled with this lack of knowledge is the current reality that healthcare is an industry and is primarily about making money and not about our good and long lasting health. 

The Value of your Health

We all go through difficult times in our lives that threaten to overwhelm us. We all face things we don't really want to face. Things happen - ad we just have to find a way through. Just because things get tough now and then doesn't mean that we should give up and stop trying. Look up, look ahead and start making your way through the hard parts.

Looking up even in the Hard Times

Bernard made it a point to not validate me within my achievements when I was a child. At the time, I resented him for seeming to not take an interest into what I did, but looking back now I am grateful that he gave me the opportunity to find out what I enjoyed and how to do things for me, rather than for the approval of another. 

Seeking Parental Approval

I am a Destonian. I strive to live with integrity and respect for all life. I discuss matters large and small with the aim of igniting the spark of life and consideration within each person. Walk with me, walk with Desteni

Cerise Poolman

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