I wrote this about my last relationship. I had just gotten off the phone with my best friend. We were talking about the difference between the way I loved him and the way he "loved" me. The imbalances and the silent shift from "love" to abuse. I would find myself frantically organizing and cleaning when he would get angry. He made me question my morals, whether or not the truth was important or even existed. He made so many promises he never intended to keep. He knew he had, and would continue to hurt me and he still stayed. I knew that too. This song is for the girl that did everything right. Loved hard, loved deeply, loved intentionally, even if she didn't get that in return. 

lyrics: 

she cleans when she's anxious
she makes all the boring phone calls
she always engineers the budget
she does all the dirty laundry
he didn't mind doing the dishes - sometimes

she cleans and shaves his face
she makes him honey tea
she always tells him "I love you"
she doesn't want to lose him too
he did all the driving -
she was his co-pilot

she loved his blue sandstone eyes
she was afraid of being needy
she loved his smile in moonlight
she was just really digging his vibe
he didn't really prefer honesty -
but she never lied

she loved his initial perception of reality
she was willing to change her mind
she loved there was no other girl in his sight
she was dreaming of him forever
he did all the talking-
she did all the showing

i started thinking...

Womanual Labor (Instrumental)

If I Slept Forever (Original Kitchen Session)

Cutting me open
Softly and gently
Oh what sweet surgery

With walls made of ice
They all came with picks
And knives, but you
You were armed in sunlight
Melting me effortlessly

Please don’t get tired of me
I don’t need the gallant saving of a king
I am the dragon with weapons for wings

You are the definition of
Every kind of contradiction
You are gods gift of creation
You ground me
You are gravity
And then you go and surprise me
Lifting me off my feet until I’m flying

I have given you the recipe
Every lock and key needed to destroy me
You gave me every hint I need to take you down
But I never will
I never will

Sweet Surgery

Mama Said

I'm a prisoner inside
a cage of my own making
a single moment in time
forever trapped in my mind

less than human
less than living
less peace than death
a dirty secret unkept

I don't fear the dark
I'm just afraid I'm not alone
monsters make their mark
whispering sweet nothings in your home

Weeping Wolf Stripped Teaser

Strip my skin to bone
See what I'm made of
Broken little love
Where did you come from

You touch me like I'm sandpaper
Rip my cells apart
With the see you later
Let's go back to the start

Oh to love someone who could never love you
That form of torture is definitely the most cruel
Too much body too much skin
One of many, soft as sin
This is my confession
When will I learn my lesson

Too much space taken up by this vessel of mine
If you told me you want me, I'd know you're lying
You only get the truth when they're not impressing you
It hurts to love, hurts to live
Your tastes are small and guarded

Never loved like this before
They simply filled the space
But now your presence fills my lungs

You can't be replaced
Sink me in your eyes
Oceans and starlight
Take me to your wild
You're my joy and hellfire

You heed my words
You read my letters
Take over the world
I'll take the pressure
Keeper of my secrets
Guardian of my weakness
Witness to my grievance

Oh to love someone who could never love you
That form of torture is definitely the most cruel
Too much body too much skin
One of many, soft as sin
This is my confession
When will I learn my lesson

Too much space taken up by this vessel of mine
If you told me you want me, I'd know you're lying
You only get the truth when they're not impressing you
It hurts to love, it hurts to live
Your tastes are small and guarded

Disappearing into apple trees
Waking up not remembering anything
Stumbling upon the northern lights
Memory is twisted by the night

I know I'd be pretty - sized down
But what about as I am, what about me right now
You are the closest, you always notice
Why was I born a masochist

You can always build beautiful
But finding it is radical
Make me your last destination
Let's give into anticipation
Love lies in 4am couch crashes
Pulling snowflakes from our eyelashes

When it comes to you
I can't afford to lose
So I'll stay right here
In your peripheral view
Living in the background
Singing your sweet tune out loud

Oh to love someone who could never love you
That form of torture is definitely the most cruel
Too much body, too much skin
One of many, soft as sin
This is my confession
When will I learn my lesson

Too much space taken up by this vessel of mine
If you told me you want me, I'd know you're lying
You only get the truth when they're not impressing you
It hurts to love, hurts to live
Your tastes are small and guarded

Strip my skin to bone
See what I'm made of
Broken little love
Where did you come from

You touch me like I'm sandpaper
Rip my cells apart
With the see you later
Please go back to the start

Rosa Kristianna

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