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Trying to write songs! Still getting used to how my voice sounds. Please listen with headphones.

Help me break the pattern of the centuries way before me
Of narcissistic men preying on your self-esteem and your body

Why do I attract broken people, why is loving you oh so evil, when do we begin to fall apart? 
Why did you have to be so deceitful, why couldn’t we all just be equal, why do you rely on me to repair you?
Sleepless nights and crying endlessly, holding in all this anxiety, while you talk to your friends who barely saw me
Constant arguments that you’d always win, loneliness that’s caused by your gaslighting, compassion that’s returned for your deliberate conniving

So this why I think before speaking, knowing that you’re always listening, and criticizing the things I have to say
But you’d go on on and on talking about philosophy and your pessimistic views
Meanwhile friends would sit around you, captivated and yet confused
But the worst thing they’d do, is turn theirs eyes to you and say I guess you silently support his view
But all I thought to myself was “fuck you”

Why do I attract broken people, why is loving you oh so evil, when do we begin to fall apart? 
Why did you have to be so deceitful, why couldn’t we all just be equal, why do you rely on me to repair you?
Sleepless nights and crying endlessly, holding in all this anxiety, while you talk to your friends who barely saw me
Constant arguments that you’d always win, loneliness that’s caused by your gaslighting, compassion that’s returned for your deliberate conniving

Break the Pattern

Performed by Oberlin Conservatory Contemporary Music Ensemble
Timothy Weiss, conductor

Jonathan Yuan, flute
Jonathan Kronheimer, oboe
Alex Abreu, clarinet 
Max Ball, violin
Aaron Lieberman, cello

Check out the score preview! https://jakeberran.com/musicpages/sm.html

Notes:
I originally envisioned this suite as a sort of instrumental drama piece with the clarinet being the first person. As the movements progress, it morphs roughly from a solo/accompaniment layout to a more unified ensemble. I wanted to paint a picture of my own experience of moving to a new place in the middle of this global pandemic and our collective, generally difficult experience of isolation and conflict. But it will be over someday, and I hope that we will ultimately end up with a kinder, more equitable world—in parallel, the piece is a long shift from exclusion to inclusion represented by dissonance between the clarinet and others to consonance. 

In the first movement, the clarinet laments over a unsupportive, mocking, or otherwise unpredictable accompaniment. The first three notes form a motive used throughout the entire work (often with the second interval adjusted), an ambiguous sequence of notes that can signify both crying out and triumphant joy. The clarinet tries to ground itself, but feels lost in a sea of unfamiliar timbres. 

The second movement is essentially one big fight, with the introduction returning later to ground the form. Other than that, the sections, in order, have everyone in an internal conflict, one-on-one skirmishes, and two-against-two fights leading up to a tense climax, with the clarinet sometimes participating and sometimes feeling lost in the chaos. Contrary motion is used in almost every phrase. 

In the third movement, the very first melody is identical to that from the first movement, and in general, the instruments other than the clarinet form slow, beautiful harmonies that get louder until the clarinet gets fed up with their apparent beauty and yells out, beginning a slow process of connection.

The fourth movement may not sound so nice and warm on the surface, but instead of pretty-sounding consonance, I wanted to represent connection through vulnerability and humor. The clarinet connects with the flute by imitating its solo theme in a different meter after an overdramatic "falling spiral," and the players play big obnoxious chords as a joke. The woodwinds also cycle around the same three note chord and play in fifths at the beginning and end respectively, foreshadowing some of the symbolism in the final movement. 

In the final movement, the number five is used metrically, in intervals, and other ways to represent unity among the five characters. Some passages also lack a foreground/background hierarchy. The ending is a flashback of the initial chords from each movement followed by a brighter recall of the accelerating rhythmic motive from the first movement as the clarinet combines the two main melodic motives in an optimistic closing gesture.

COVID Suite - 2. Strife

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2. E|()sPØPRO|)<SO| 04 - EƒƒEl) - Eddrurn L<it02 - Trånçererni><l<it - 2STEPTHU|V|PßA$$02

THE FACELESS CYBERNETIC EGG BOY IS APPROACHING & HES HUNGRY EVEN THO HES ALREADY CHOCK FULL OF BEANS

mastered by @oratoricalorator
cover art by @ellie_modron_kurfwen

https://tandy.bandcamp.com/album/5

✨WINNER OF THE 2023 PCOTANDY B.O.N.E.S Competition✨

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ț̶̄̿͂͝a̶͚͍̖̙̰̟̺͇̻̲͗̊͆̏̑̓̚e̶̗̙͇̾̋̀̔r̶̨͈̜̦̐tr๖ f t tu pฯ enntaer,v,n ilii๖ฯງeeງ໓ sies. an໓ ri๖rere , ofinງ ¢out ຟnງof mesin໓ on໓ ttraranງitte ງ ฯ th ๖
ʜ҉ ҉ɴ҉ ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ᴏ҉ᴀ҉ ҉ᴏ҉ᴜ҉ᴛ҉ᴀ҉ɪ҉ᴍ҉ᴘ҉ʟ҉ᴇ҉ᴍ҉ʀ҉ɴ҉
҉ɴ҉ᴇ҉ᴅ҉ɢ҉ᴠ҉.҉ʙ҉ʜ҉ᴅ҉ɪ҉ʙ҉ᴇ҉ᴄ҉ᴀ҉ɴ҉ᴠ҉ɢ҉
҉ᴇ҉,҉ʜ҉ᴛ҉ᴇ҉ᴏ҉ᴘ҉ʙ҉ꜱ҉ ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ᴅ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ᴀ҉ɴ҉ᴛ҉ ҉ᴜ҉ɴ҉ɢ҉
҉ᴍ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ᴛ҉ᴇ҉ᴀ҉ɴ҉ᴠ҉ᴇ҉ᴄ҉ ҉ʙ҉ᴏ҉ᴜ҉ᴛ҉ʜ҉ ҉ᴅ҉ᴇ҉ʀ҉-҉
ᴡ҉ᴀ҉ᴛ҉ɪ҉ᴏ҉ɴ҉ ҉ᴛ҉ɪ҉ᴄ҉ᴀ҉ʟ҉ʟ҉ ҉ʀ҉ᴜ҉ᴍ҉ʙ҉ʟ҉ɢ҉ꜱ҉ ҉,҉
҉ᴅ҉ᴇ҉ᴇ҉ᴘ҉ ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ɢ҉ ҉ᴀ҉ ҉ᴍ҉ɪ҉ᴅ҉ɪ҉ ҉ᴇ҉ɴ҉ʟ҉ʏ҉ ҉ᴏ҉ɴ҉ɢ҉
҉ꜱ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ɢ҉ ҉ɪ҉ɴ҉ ҉ᴛ҉ʜ҉ᴇ҉ ҉ꜱ҉ᴛ҉ᴀ҉ʀ҉ꜱ҉ ҉ᴀ҉ʙ҉ᴏ҉ᴠ҉ᴇ҉
҉B҉O҉N҉E҉s҉D҉s҉ ҉;҉ ҉A҉L҉ ҉R҉E҉G҉O҉O҉D҉ ҉M҉I҉D҉I҉ ҉E҉N҉D҉
҉M҉O҉O҉N҉ ҉A҉N҉D҉ ҉T҉H҉ ҉B҉E҉c҉A҉U҉s҉I҉c҉A҉U҉s҉E҉

PURE ALTEREGO BONES; A MUSICAL COMPOSITION ALL FROM MY GOOD FRIEND
BONES!! !! !
MIDI ENVIRONMENT, BECAUSE OF ALL OF THE GRAND MEMORIES WE MADE, SITTING OUT UNDER THE SUN
AND THE MOON AND WATCHING THE STARS FLY ABOVE OUR HEADS; DILATED TRANSLUCENT BODIES,
RESONATING ALONG SILVER-WARPED FIBEROPTIC STRINGS, MUTTERING, SINGING, AND DANCING IN AND
OUT OF TIME: ALL RUMBLING DEEP IN THE ΞΛR T H WITH BONES

W̵̢̔̂̉̂͋͘͘o̸̘̞̫͈̭̼̙̣̓͆̅̽́͘̚ŗ̶͈͍͎̠̜̰̭͓̼̀͝ạ̵̛̫̝̜̱̱̒̅̒̀͛̇͐̈͝ỏ̷̲̄͊͌̉̍͝ȇ̸̫͓̾͋͆̿͛ȯ̵̱̣̟̮͇͙̳͖̜͆͘ͅa̵̼͎͎̍̈́̓̐͘ ̶̳͚̠̱̖̫̰̫̈̔͌̚ ̶͙̖̀̍́̉̈̈͛͌͒̕n̴̨͓͖͓̯͍̞̼̪̂̀͛̑͒̕͠n̴̨ ͓͖͓̯͍̞̼̪̂̀͛̑͒̕͠ Ç̵̢̗͕̪̇e̸̢̢͚̰̘̠̱͍̳͘m̸̖͛̑͊̿̈̉͂͝͠a̶̛͕̩͑t̶͇̮̗̔͗̈́̂̓͗̋̓̓̕ W̴̥̙͇̠͉̭̔̍̽̅̒͆̑̓͊͘ ̴̛̰͖̠́̽͒̊̋̋e̴̡̡̖̼̦̩̹͆͛̃̄̽̓̈́͛̋͝t̶̢̲̀̆͗ ̸̡̜͓͖̩̫̺͙̗̿͗͜͠͠l̷̩͎̜̩͍̼̝̽̋̂̀͊̈̒͠h̸̭̜͓̺͓̓̈́͆͘
̸͔͈̯̫͓̱̳̯̬͇̀͛͐͋p̷̯͓͇̫͓̱͇͝ B̵̨̜̠̜̠͂̾͂̃̾͑͗͗͠ę̵̬͕̗̣̼̲̥͎͆̇͗͆̀͛͝ĺ̷͓͕̜̺͌̓̏̽̐̊͊u̴̧͈͓̐í̷̳̃͂̌͛́̍̎̚͜u̴̧̙̝̣̜̳̥̯̼̓̍̕͜í̷̳̃͂̌͛́̍̎̚͜u̴̧̙̝̣̜̳̥̯̼̓̍̕͜s̴̨̻͎͊̈̐͛̚ņ̴̞͉̰̼́̈́̀n̷̨͓̤͖͕̻͘ D̵̝̣̩̦̮͗̒̀̋͊͠t̷̨̧̳̦̭̯͈̬̫̟̔̂̐̔ Y̷̧̧̨̢͉̠̼͉͈̅͛̽̀͜ ̸̩̼̠͔̱̤̱̺̀̂͆s̸̡̗̟̼̻͖̦̈́̀͊̓̽̑o̵̡̡̨̨̰͉̠̟̩͋̀̃̏͜͝ş̷͔͉̦̳̯͎́́̆̇̊͌̆͝
̴̛̻̃̊̓̆͋̊̊́̋ ̶̮̭̟̰͐͗̎͠ ̴̛̤̹̹̂ ̴̧̣̘̖͍̉̓͜ ̷͍̫̑̓̌̀̐̿̍̕̕a̵̢̡̢̺͇̩͈̗̬̠̅̉̈̑̓̍̈́̽̏́r̴̢͉̱̮̞͉̺͋̓́̍̊̽̅̅̕e̴̞͔̙̹̖̯̦͓͉͚͌̓͋̊̈̓̔͂͝͝o̴̡̓̈́ͅ ̶̛̪̖͖͉̬̙̦̣̳̃̓̐͆̽͘͘

ȍ̸͖̜̰̗̭͍̗̓͂̓̊̌͝F̵̬̳̻͚͔̣̖̊̐̀͌͛i̷̛̯͍̳̗̖̗͉̿̎̈͂̋̄̀̀̃ͅa̷̡̺̣͈͗̋̉ȏ̷̹̟̞̬̪n̵̢̻͍͙͖̠̼͐͘ F̵̡͈̠̗͓̜̄͑͊̌̀͋̈́̾͠m̵̡̥͛̐͐̌̔̓̊͘̚ ̸̤̩̉͛̐͐̌̔̓̊͘̚ ̸̤̩̉
̶̛̙̤̞̳͙̬̦̳̻̦̌̊̏̇͑́̿ǫ̵̥͇̩̹̹̹̘͛͜r̸̨͍̬̗̱̲̚B̴̡̖̲̹̞͇̫͇͇̊͐̿̃͛̒͜l̵̳̺͎̩̲̝̠͕̖̝̎́̎̌̉̈̓i̸̱̭͚͂͗̔̃͋͆͘͝͝h̶̞̣̼̣̥̘̮͊̊̎n̶͈̆̈̈̑͌͘̕l̴̢̧̞̮͎͎̫̺͍̳̿̀̊̎̉͝h̶̡̘̭͓͈͓̗̳̃͐ ̸̠̫͍́͐̈ ̵̮͎̜̤͚̘̲̠́̅̀̒̎̾͝ ̵̘̳̯̱͍̹̟̈́̈́͐͑̕h̴̪̅͆̑:̸͚̼̮̬̒̅̓̍͛̎͆̽͝͝ń̸̰̳̟̫̮̻̭̜ D̸̸̺̰̠̻̼̖̙̫̭̬̰̳̟̫̮̻̭̜̐́D̸̺̰̠̻̼̖̙̫̭̬̐ ̸̢̫̼͓̣̠͒̈̀̈́͘̚͜n̵̢̜̯̥͓̭̰̙̳͗ï̴̧̗̗̖̠̭͕̺͕̆͗͋̋̄͗̕ͅ ̸̨̢̰̟̯̟̱̦̇̍́̑̔ę̸͈̞͎̤͇̘̠̰̍͆̉̍̚ę̶̛̪̺̣̲̝a̸̘̻͐̀ ̸̩͖͋̉͂̇͒̌̋̌͌͝o̵͎͍̙̹̠̜͒̽͂̆̾̋͑̀̀̅e̶͖̿̐́͊͠ ̷̨̢̞̹̩̥̲̼̱̾̐̉́e̵̺̫̳̽̏ͅ ̷̪̙̜̾̎̓̎,̷̰͍̯̱̼̝̯͙̙̽͋̈̒̈̎̋ ̵̛͖͕̈́̉̑̐̌̔̊́͝e̴̛͙̐͐̂̾̂͌͝t̶̠͈͉̯͚͑̃̍͝͝ţ̴̖͉̻̹̖̿̂̊͂̿̑͂̕͝ ̴̢̢̙̜͇̬͚̭͇͙͂̏̄̄̀͛͌̾̕í̴͙̗̙̥́͂̈́̓͂̄̊̒͘i̸̢̢̠̫̺͊̅̾̊́̚͜a̸͕̩̗͍̫̪̞̜̘͚̐̌̆̌̏i̵̥͍̟͖̲̰͚̝̫̐͑́͛̿̄́͝ͅ ̵̨͑́͋͝ ̷̬͗̀͗͛̈́͊̀̕͝͝ä̷̩́̍̓̀̾̍̚̕͝h̶̹̐͒̇̉̍̉͝ Ģ̷̝͔̼̳͔̭̀̈̏́͗͊͊̈D̸̻̗̠̟̼͙̯̘̥͇̓̅̿̒̎t̵̟̻͔̬̲̣̗̗̞͘ͅh̵̢͍͎̞͓̝̙̭̟̤͛̉̅͝ ̷̨̧̧̺̙͚̙͔̖̍̍͋í̵̧̛͔͚̯̊ ̵͕̈́͐̔̍͊̀̔̑̓̚ ̸̪͉͍̱̲̦̜̇̉̔̋͛́͐̓́͘F̶̛̩̙̥̐͂̽͆͆̽̎͌͜s̸̫̳̰̑̈́́̽̈̿͐̕ę̸̧̑̄i̵̛̞̤̩͍̰͎̙̰̭̿̓̀̌̑ͅh̶̞̫̋ͅi̴͈̞̖̥̹̣͋̿̍̐̊̋̋͝͝r̸̛̦̞̞̻͖̍̃̎̉͐̂n̸̜͓̺͉̝̖͒̎̂̽̉̽̚͠m̵̬̩͇͑̑ͅḥ̸̡͕̜̤̘͐͊͊͒̓͐̂͝͠ṷ̶̞̜͗͂̂͌̉̊͑͘͠ ̴̩̮̩̮̻͉̣̾̐͋̎̓́̕l̸̠̇̃̓a̶̯̱͎͖͚̱̾̑́͐̿͝ ̵̙̰̘̬͋ŗ̷̢̬͍̯̽́͑̃͋͂̈́̚͝͠ṉ̶̣̗̺̊̾̅̊͠ ̷̺̝̝̬̰̓̄̃͌̋͌̋̅͝͠ī̷̢̜̬͉͚͔̺̫̂͛̊ͅr̷̘̱͍̤͈̲̼̲̰̈́̈͊̈́̕a̵̡̳̫͔͖̰̅̽̐̈́̀͆́e̵̛͎̙̻͓̱͔̍̔͗̉́̋͊ͅD̶̨̖̤͉̠̟̞͖̥̦̅̂̾͌͗͘̚e̷̱̤̋̂̇̈́̉t̷̹̩̙͇̑̽͝e̴̛̤͎̻̤̽̇̍̒͊i̷̟͑̓̕͝ỏ̵͙͎̯̩͕͖͕͙͔̇̆́̽̄r̴̦͚̞͎̗̐̑͋͂͐l̸̛͉̗̜̬̎̏͛́̓͘͘͝ ̶̩͔̲̟͉́̽̅͑͂̔̔͠͠

°‚°‚°‚°‚°‚°⌠ƞɛᶉ𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐎𝐗#5…√ƞɛᶉßʃ▼ßʃ°°ɱ‚°‚°‚°‚°‚°‚°  [EXTENDED CUT] [2023]

Performed in Fairchild Chapel.
Bassoon: Ellie Urich 
Viola: Jacqui Armbruster
Double Bass: Gavin VanWinkle-Bright
Recorded by Michael Gaspari 

Rain Collections
I. Fleeting
II. Pitter-Patter
III. Puddles
IV. Anticipation
V. Thunder
VI. Cats, dogs, and mud
VII. Collections

Rain Collections (2019)

"Still Life" was commissioned by the Music in Bloom festival and was written in collaboration with multidisciplinary artist Annie Saunders (libretto/visual storytelling).

Performed by
Amy Petrongelli, soprano
Nick Zoulek, saxophone
Jani Parsons, keyboard
Clare Longendyke, piano
Chris Sies, percussion

Mixed by Alex Dowling
Audio Engineer and Mastering: Eric Dluzniewski

Learn more about the Music in Bloom festival here:
http://www.musicinbloomfest.com

Still Life

meditation for a hazy dawn

"You know, life can be challenging and sad, or fraught with illness or things. But music is the easy part. That’s the fun part. That is the thing that I love doing more than anything else. I don't fuss over things too much; I just let this [music] be what it wants to be, and that is a real release for me."---Annie Clark

Based in Colorado

Oberlin College, Philosophy, 20'

Break the Pattern

bean

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