Lyrics:

Now that I have no pulse I’m dead, but still a whore
Who gives a fuck about the law
Now I’ve become so numb
Fill out my hole, my body’s getting stiff and cold
Just sink your dick into my dry, lifeless pie

(Not face up)
Push it deep inside
(I might throw up)
At least give it a try
(Help me)
Touch yourself then spray it in my face
(You’re so old)
Lube it with your tongue
(You feel so cold)
I can make you come
(Help me)
Grab my marbled arse and fuck my bum

You know that I won’t bitch or moan
And with no teeth I give good head
You know you beat over your mum
Now fuck the dead

(I don’t know why)
Force it deep inside
(I’ll need KY)
Split my pelvis wide
(Save me)
Grease yourself and pound my lifeless hide
(This morbid tryst)
You sordid spineless prat
(I’ll use my fist)
Just roll back my fat
(Rape me)
Grab my tits and eat my flaky twat
 
Just fuck my bum
(This is making me cringe, but I must taste dead minge)
Just fuck my bum

I’m cold inside without your touch, without your spooge darling
Only you have your cock inside the dead

(All of this time, I can’t believe these putrid thoughts
Can I do it, can I drill a lifeless corpse)
I’ve been dead for just five minutes
Jam me hard and I might even twitch

(Without a breath, without a sound, without a pulse
I know you died here, but now you’ll be my whore)
Rim jaw me more

(Eat my cock)
I’ll do anal next
(This beats a sock)
Love this fetid sex
(Suck me)
It’s so hot without a gag reflex
(Your flabby gunt)
Flip me, fuck my butt
(Your cheesy cunt)
I want a good hard rut
(Fuck me)
I want to be your filthy lifeless slut

Your lifeless slut
(I pronounced you dead, now you’re giving me head)
Your lifeless slut

06 Bring Me To Life

Lyrics:

A whole two weeks ago
I can still remember
How those babies used to make me smile
On O&G I had my chance
To let my little fingers dance
And make some women happy for a while

But the labour ward, it made me shiver
With every baby I’d deliver
Bad news on the doorstep
Had enough ventouse and forceps

I can remember how she cried
My speculum was open wide
I had touched too deep inside
The day the foetus died

Chorus: 

So bye bye little sweetie pie
Drove my finger through the cervix
Now the womb is too dry
Last night I drank too much whisky and rye
Singin’ I’m still pissed and now your kid’s died
I’m still pissed and now your kid’s died

So she screamed “Good God above”
My hand so deep I nearly lost my glove
Cos the Reg he told me so
Should have been an EUA
But you consented, what the hey
I tried to learn but I’m quite slow
 
Cos you see my eyes are lookin’ dim
I stayed up late, drank all the gin
Got home kicked off my shoes
Threw up on my theatre blues

Woke up thinking “What the fuck?”
Thought I’d been hit by a pickup truck
Guess you were outta luck
The day the foetus died

(Chorus)

I met a midwife dressed in blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and walked away
I looked at all the blood and gore
Where a baby had lived seconds before
The father said that I was gonna pay

But in the papers all the headlines say
IVF fuckup, not your child anyway
Not another word was spoken
A family no longer broken

The people I upset the most
The father, mother and the foetal ghost
Went home for a placenta roast 
The day the foetus died

(Chorus)

Mother singin’ bye bye little sweetie pie
You’re in another mother but at least you’re alive
IVF were drinking whisky and rye
It was someone else’s baby that died
Someone else’s baby that died

07 Sweetie Pie

Lyrics:

Lucky I was born an androgynous boy so
My gender you could suffer
Lucky that I live in a foreign land
And lucky the fact that you’re a pervert
Baby you seem to confuse my gender
Though my thighs are supple and slender
But you never could ignore my manhood
Which makes you a fucking bender

Thai lady ladyboy
Thai lady ladyboy
I’ll make you holler
For twenty dollar
Wherever, whenever
We’re meant to be together
You can stick it in my rear
For a fee you queer
I sucky, I fucky
You might even get real lucky
And because I’m a filthy whore
That means you’ll get rimjaw

Lucky that you’re family hasn’t grumbled
You perverted filthy sex slag
Lucky with my cock you like to fumble
So you don’t confuse me with your wife
Lucky that you don’t like to use protection
Though I think you’ll find you need it
Lucky that we’ve both got an erection
Bugger my arse while feeling my cock

Thai lady ladyboy
Thai lady ladyboy
I’ll be your gimp
If you pay my pimp
Wherever, whenever
You like your sex transgender
You bend over I’ll use my fist
You kinky sex tourist
We’re bumming, we’re chumming
And in my face you’re cumming
But now it’s quite plain to see
You’ve got an STD

Thai lady ladyboy
Thai lady ladyboy
Wouldn’t want to be ya
You’ve got gonorrhoea
Thai lady lady ladyboy
You think all is well
But shit sticks
When you fuck chicks with dicks

No wonder you chunder
You’ve really made a blunder
Gonorrhoea is in your brain
You’ll never be the same
You’re a mess I confess
You’ve got a cerebral abscess
But that’s the price you pay
For being such a gay

08 Thai Ladyboy

Lyrics:

How do I
Ever begin to explain
When you wake up erect
There’ no blood in your brain
How do I
Convince you to get up and make the tea
When you just keep pestering me
It smells just like cheese
Baby take a wash before
You put that thing in my mouth
And tell me now…

How do I start to say no
To sucking your dick
Ramming my face till I think
I’m gonna be sick
The sight of your pecker
Puts me right off my food
I’m not in, I’m not in
I’m not in the mood

Like a dog
You’re always humping my leg
Until I’m late for work
Why won’t you get dressed
But you lie there
Gazing with your big puppy eyes
So I sigh and open wide
And drop to my knees
I’m gonna have to take a shower cos
My boss won’t be pleased
With cum on my face

Why do you make me swallow
When I’m trying to lose weight
If you think that it’s so special
Why don’t you have a taste
Your face looks so smug
While I’m choking on it
Why can’t I, why can’t I
Why can’t I spit

(Instrumental)

I drop to my knees
Baby take a wash before
You put that thing near my mouth
I’m gonna have to take a shower
Cos my boss won’t be pleased
With cum on my face

I ain’t your Linda Lovelace
Deep throat makes me gag
I think that I’m aspirating
Baby can’t we just shag
You’re no Casanova
So let me be frank
I’d rather you, I’d rather you
I’d rather you wank

09 How Do I

The St George's Revue is a group of sketch comedy performers based in Tooting, London.
We write and perform several shows each year and have been performing at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival since the year 2000.
In 2005 the Revue put on a special show to raise money for their Edinburgh run. The show was called "Revuesical" and it consisted of some of the best songs that had been performed in Revue shows of recent years.
This is a bootleg recording of that show split into tracks for your listening pleasure.


10 Yankee World (intro)

Lyrics:

Bush:	There’s too much wrong in the world
		The old, the poor, the disabled
		Come on Tony
		It’s not like your smile’s ever told a lie
		We could govern the skies
		Do it country by country
		West to east, bomb them bluntly
		On a magic B-52 bomber ride

		A Yankee world
		No useless UN or EU
		No crouts to tell us
		Frogs where to go
		It’s California dreaming

Blair:		A British world
		No more ethnic minorities
		Although we’re left-driving
		We’ll rule right wing
		And turn this world as fair as our skin
Bush:	Red and white and blue will rule

Blair:		Choose our own human rights
		Blair and Bush on the throne
		Kick the Pope out of Rome
Bush:	Shotgun his bulletproof buggy
 
Blair:		A British world
Bush:	Add some stars to my flag
Blair:		A place I rule with cups of tea
Bush:	Finish what Daddy started
Blair:		Let’s go and bomb Iraq
		Squeeze Saddam’s sack
		And mass-distract the world with TV

Bush:	A Yankee world
Blair:		Send your troops right in there
Bush:	Oops that was one of your we shot
Blair:		Never mind, friendly-fire
Both:		And when the wonder why
		The battle cry
		We’ll tell them world safety is our desire

Bush:	A Yankee world
Blair:		A British world
Bush:	With my army
Blair:		Send your army
Bush:	A safer place
Blair:		A whiter race
Both:		For me and me

Bush:	I love you Tony
Blair:		I love me too 

11 Yankee World

Lyrics:

I’m not a Christian or a Jew my dear
I live my life by the Koran
I’ll make the western world kiss Muslim ass
I’ll be the one to bring it down
I bombed New York a couple of years ago
But this time I made fucking sure
I thought they’d find it hard to argue with
Not one hijacked plane but four

Who-oah, I’m a terrorist, Islamic fundamentalist
I’m a terrorist in New York

Who-oah, he’s an evil man
A nutcase from Afghanistan
He’s a terrorist in New York

I put the ‘fun’ in fundamentalist
(He put the ‘mental’ in as well)
But I’ve got Allah on my side you see
(He’s going straight to hell)

Who-oah, I’m a terrorist, Islamic fundamentalist
I’m a terrorist in New York

Who-oah, he is greatly feared
But he’s got a rather fetching beard
He’s a terrorist in New York

And now would you please welcome to the stage
A great man, and a great friend of mine
Mr George W Bush

I came to power rather dubiously
I watch Sabrina Teenage Witch
And I control the world’s atomic power
My finger’s always on the switch
To go to war, some say, is genocide
But that’s just the queers and blacks
I’ll get revenge by bombing innocents
Like my daddy in Iraq

There’ll be no nuclear disarmament, while I’m the head of government
I’m an ignorant southern hick

Who-oah, the world will soon be gone, with a redneck in the Pentagon

So Osama can suck my dick

Who-oah, now I’m hiding in a cave, but at least I’ll never have to shave

We’ll make those weirdy beardies pay, gonna learn ‘em all the American way

Who-oah, he’ll start World War III, fuck knows how he got the presidency

Who-oah, I don’t give a damn, bomb the fuck out of Afghanistan

It’s all because of those fucking Jews

12 Terrorist in NY

Lyrics:

Oh baby baby, nobody’s supposed to know
The evil things I’m doing
Oh maybe lately if I hadn’t have got so stoned
Prescribing my own drugs, yeah
Trust me, I don’t want your money
I’m just crazy ‘cos I need to get my pethidine
You’ll never guess I’m your GP
Two hundred dead, and more bereaved
Some people called it a genocide
So many died
Fuck it maybe one more time

Old lady maybe if you hadn’t have got the flu
None of this would’ve happened
Old lady’s body, eventually they’ll find you
Decomposed and rotten
Surely someone should have caught me
It’s too easy, but I guess they’re only OAPs
My raison d’être is killing you
I must confess there’s no reason to
Some people call me a psychopath
Don’t make me laugh
Fuck it maybe one more time

I’m homicidal – to see that don’t take a fool
Behind my beard, this killing it makes me drool
I was the best in the whole NHS
Now I’m going down after twenty years
It took them a while to put me inside
Fuck it now I’m doing time

I spend my days inside my cell
I miss my dog, my wife as well
She comes to visit each Tuesday night
She’s fifty-nine
Fuck it maybe one more time

13 Maybe One More Time

Lyrics:

This is a real life
Not made-up story
Cautionary tale about
Catching an STD
Let this boy and girl
Serve as an example please

When you’ve got herpes
No one gives sympathy
‘Cos when she gave head, she didn’t
Think about the consequence
Now anyone that she blows
Gonna catch the same disease
Disease

Doctor, just shagged a man
Had a few too many bevs
Woke up in a strange man’s bed
Doctor, happy hour had just begun
And after that you know I’m anyone’s

Doctor (oooh)
Don’t remember much at all
But I’m ashamed to say
I didn’t have my cap in
Shame on me, shame on me
And my pill ran out on Thursday

Symptoms started yesterday
Got shivers down my spine
Body’s aching all the time
Think she may have given
Me syphilis
Now these sores are oozing pus
And I can’t piss
Doctor (oooh)
My bell-end looks inflamed
My scrotal sack is itching like a fucker

I see a little louse running through her pubes
(Through her pubes, through her pubes)
And a faintly grey discharge
What’s the diagnosis?
Bacterial vaginosis, or
(Gonorrhoea) Gonorrhoea
(Gonorrhoea) Gonorrhoea
Gonorrhoea is a bitch
It is a bitch

Hop on the bed can you spread your leg for me
He’s got a discharge from that whore, Natalie
Spare his poor wife from this monster VD
For this test take a pot, can you do a wee?
But doctor no, I cannot do a wee
(You must try)
But doctor, not when you’re watching me
(You must try)
But doctor (Really got to go)
I can’t go (Really got to go)
I can’t go (Really got to go)
I can’t go (Go go go go go go go)
Oh Chlamydia, Chlamydia
Chlamydia is a bitch
Hep B and C have a nasty tendency
To spread, to spread, to spread

So you think you can swab me in my jap’s eye?
Take some blood and some cutures
And leave me to die?
Oh babies
We can never have babies
Spread of diseases
Has fucked up my ovaries

(Oooh, oh yeah, oh yeah)

Nothing really matters
You can take my wee
(Nothing really matters)
I was born with HIV

Would you like a sticker?

14 Bohemian STD

Lyrics:

We’re just too drunk to be here
Simply can’t handle our beer
We’ve got no livers or brains
They’ve gone necrotic again
Eaten too much vindaloo
There’s too much blood in my poo
Vomiting and diahorrea
We’re just too drunk to be here

Bada bada babadaba
Badada bada ba

We love you George’s
But now we’ll all die young
We need a kidney
A liver, heart and lungs
We love you George’s
More than a functional spleen

Oh shitty George’s
Why did you build those halls
No central heating
The beds are far too small
Which causes carpet burns
But yet we love you

Symptoms just keep getting worse
Got pissed and slept with a nurse
So now it hurts when I piss
Looks like I’ve got syphilis
Still haven’t opened a book
Yet to give lectures a look
And the exams are quite near
We’re all too drunk to be here

Bada bada babadaba
Badada bada ba

We love you George’s
But not the library
Don’t go to CBL
Go to anatomy
We love you George’s
Trust in us you won’t fail

Oh shitty George’s
We’re all from private school
We’ve all got herpes
‘Cos we’re bisexual
Which causes cold sores George’s
Yet we love you

We love you George’s
Even the GMC
We love you George’s
But not the registry
We love you George’s
Make us doctors some day

Oh shitty George’s
We’re meant to heal the ill
But we’re all fuckwits
So we just maim and kill
Which causes litigation
Yet we love you

Bada bada babadaba
(repeat to finish)

charliemiller