hope you'll still be here tomorrow and on

things i should have said

𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕖'𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣,
𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕.
| prod. pekarot |
non-profit
(lyrics)
its so complicated
and im so sedated
with the thoughts that i have here of you
and im so frustated
im stuck here just waiting
for love thatll never come around
you see that im changing
i fall on the pavement
and i cut myself here for you

for you x2
but you dont want me now
im falling, and i just stumble round
cant clear my thoughts when it is only fogging out
i just wanna rot here in my own hell
ive been waiting here for so damn long 
its kinda scary cause i know youd never love me
i fear the future as im writing all this music
theres no one here that will ever fucking listen
staring at her eyes cause i love the way they glisten
you have me here trapped in this trance
melting at the way you give me that glance
so sedated when youre sitting here next to me
i just wanna give you everything left of me

theres nothing here thats left of me,
can u give me everything that i want to see
your eyes "pretty"
i cant define
the things i see
your way of life
stay here with me
im getting by
with you here with me

made 1/1/2023

sedated (pekarot)

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
tried to dial your phone
but you wont ever come home
come home..
tried to give you a call
but you wont answer at all
are you really mine
when im stuck asking you why
how could you do this to me
memories cause me to bleed
fucking with my own head
the brakes wont catch
my body from screaming
agony im feeling

when the lights go out
will u hear me now
as the walls cave in
im giving it
everything i had left
its a shame to know it
when youre feeling alone
feel the pain in your throat
now theyre taking your throne
shit
the way that it goes
im holding you close
but yet im dying alone
theres a hole in my heart
are we drifting apart
a misunderstanding
ur starting to break me

when all is done
you can start breathing
stop breathing
she took you home
and held u close
and told you words
that you wish would come true

result of a broken mind (moneo)

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
she'd leave my arms tonight
she'd leave my arms tonight
take my soul for whats it worth babe
save me from all i have

now she got me feeling like im nothing
now she wonder where im heading
now i wanted to forget her
and now i wanted you just to let me
taking all my soul i wont get it
everyone is saying im pathetic
wont they ever understand why im like this
why im like this

she'd leave my arms tonight
she'd leave my arms tonight
take my soul for whats it worth babe
save me from all i have

now that you're saying that you get it
its the pain that you gave me you're regretting
i never thought i could forgive you

she'd leave my arms tonight
she'd leave my arms tonight

somehow (moneo)

prod. mackk
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
save my soul for another day
know she would stay if it would take away the pain
and maybe once i cried
and everyone will die
and everyone i knew would leave again

with every moment lost
for another,
for another night
with everyone i cant let u go

and she'd stay for another night
when she'd leave, it isn't right
how id be here left alone
can i clear my head
can i clear my head

another (mackk)

prod. michael harrison x ayoley
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
time she told me
that i had nothing
i felt this way here again
and you never thought i would be so used
with the way you did it that night
you had told me to block them
you told me to leave then
or i would lose you in the moment
but i did anyway
it didn't even matter
oh i lost 2 friends that night
whats the point when im hurt
with every movement
that you had left me with

tell me one thing
how could you leave me
how could i be free this night
with the way youd control me
i thought id be so free
at last
so please
forgive the way i talk
mistakes were made just once
the life u live is lost
and u never gave it to me

nothing (michael harrison x ayoley)

prod. michael harrison x ayoley
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take my heart
tell me ur mine
hate my life
losing light
and i been down for one night
when i seen ur face
im feeling fine
but i been mistaken
more than once

wonder where ill go
wonder whats in store
wonder what lays low
maybe id be yours
maybe you could control me
maybe you'd come and hold me
maybe you'd come destroy me
after all we did

hate my life
losing light
and i been down for one night
when i seen ur face
im feeling fine
but i been mistaken
more than once

take my heart (michael harrison x ayoley)

michael harrison x ayoley
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
weeks passed
i never felt the way you did
as i begged
that you had to let me go
i know it shows
for once i did that in my life
and oh no
can i have you here this night

i just want you here this night
and i been losing all this time
and i been feeling words spun then
a little burden on my bed
taking all the world from me
taking all my life it seems
i just want you here with me
but ur so far away
take it in the night
where'd u get the knife babe?
telling me again
take all what you want then
i just felt the worse
i just felt it hurt
i just heard her words again

and she never hit my line
she never said goodbye
and so my heart bleeds
ill never once confide again
and i just wanted you.

and i cared
but u didnt that time love
and i know
that i wasnt ever enough
as i begged
for what you once gave me
now my heart will bleed
now i wont see you here

weeks passed (michael harrison x ayoley)

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take my heart
if it will bring you home
take what i have
if you stay the night
tell me why
did u have to leave that night
when everything we had aint right
most nights i lay awake in sorrow
tell me that there'll be tomorrow
and i felt that you had to leave again
oh again
words unsaid inside the night
and i felt all these tears of mine
as they dripped down onto the wooden floor
of this home of mine
this home of mine
take my arm and hold me close
this aint right about the way we are
about you leaving
oh how this road is cold again
never once knew you
never once fell through
took my heart and tore it in two
taking all you wanted
i just wanna heal you

sorrow (moneo)

prod. cxrter x bended
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take me for another day
and hold me oh dont go away
im bleeding when ur not with me
are you alone tonight
or is that a new guy

save your sorrows for the bottles in the bathroom
saving my life, like i know you didnt have to
why'd you keep me around, you werent like that
my hearts beating a sound yet you wont bite back
and im keeping it down for a while now
and youre beating around until i knock down
i dont know how u'd leave
if youre not even here with me

youre not even here with me
youre not even here with me
youre not even here with me
youre not even here with me

take me for another day
and hold me oh dont go away
im bleeding when ur not with me
are you alone tonight
or is that a new guy

im feeling it now like all the time
as ur talking about all your friends at night
and im looking around, theres no room for me
and ur spending ur time with a new guy
and ur saying that "I never loved you"
catching feelings while i know that ur not here with me

i didnt know that i was wrong
i didnt know that i was wrong
i didnt know that i was wrong
i didnt know

not with me (cxrter x bended)

prod. idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
changing my whole life
she cried that night oh why
did i ever need u here with me
did u ever see how i died
as im alone that night
take my soul tonight
i felt u once or twice
i cared more than you might have known
but thats why i couldnt call you home
all of my life
i fucked my sleep to the light
they haunt me more than id like
i couldnt sleep that night
she screaming please dont go

saying u wanna die
shes thinking suicide
she dont want me to leave
so now youre stuck with me

change (idly blare)

prod. pekarot
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
one more night
she would ask me why
i would seem to cry
and i felt u here
well she left me then
will i know why
i can leave you here
will the moment end
i just fucked around
drank the bottle down
i could leave you here
if you loved me then
oh dont go away

take me back
to the time we spent
to the songs i gave
for the way you been
i could lead
when im alright
but i just knew u'd go
never once had i dreamt that then
i just wish u were here
a silhouette
on the wall at night
in the shape of you
talking other guys
is he here tonight
for the ways id bleed
and u did it then
am i in my head
stay away from me

take me back to last july
i had knew that you would lie to me
said i was your one and only
and i knew different im too smart
i confided from the heart
i knew why you couldnt be with me
didnt matter
was just fine
i was warned a thousand times
about that lie, u didnt like me

July (pekarot)

prod. dead spyro
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i knew we'd waste our time
i felt us say goodbye
i knew we'd grow so distant
i knew it wouldnt last
i felt the pain you caused
it wasnt what i wanted
i couldnt be cold hearted
as i just broke apart and
i let you in and then you let me go
it wasnt fair as i was on the road
when i heard from you
that we were through
you couldnt be my love
you couldnt take it back
i felt it wouldnt last
and since i been so sad

distant (dead spyro)

prod. michael harrison
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take me
take me
take me away tonight
and i bleed
i feed
onto lies gave

and yet it doesnt take
more than what you gave
and i just felt your phone
always blow up
and i just knew that we
could never be in love
and i would say that to you
when you knew that dude
and you had cheated
that night

that night
i just wish you would care
and i knew you would give
everything that i waited for
inside the night
and every moments lost
and i know its done
i just want to be gone
for the last time

take me (michael harrison)

prod. idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i told you one night
and she would cry
i told you baby, i want to die
she told me id leave inside the night
and she took it from me
took it from me
and id cry but never knew why
i felt that way, until she caved in
she gave me the truth again
and she told my friends
told my friends
and i been hurtin inside this hell lately
and i been asking u what did u do to me
they told me i shouldnt have worried in the first place
u put the blame on me
it put the blame on me
tell me baby what did i do wrong
tell me baby if id heal through these songs
somehow lately i really fucked up my head
now you left me on read

D2 (idly blare)

prod. nathanp
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
took my heart
and ripped it clean
i caved into your smile please
dont take me home
more ways to go
i knew it hurt
from what ive shown
take my love and hold me close
and i dont know
what you could hope
how i felt that night
i stayed inside
and i had knew ud leave again

take it all

10 more years
in a forgotten house
and she moved out
and i could lie
what i had gave
you were loved
and i had knew it wouldnt last

take it all until i died
and i would lie out back your house
every night is filled with dust
as the lights went off
as you took my heart

no one knows what i did that night
as i hurt inside
and out i cry
now she'd leave
and so i didn't care
now you're gone and i just felt you stare

take it all

innocence (nathanp)

prod. mackk
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
after all i had
i had to fuck around
as i just hurt you now
cause you been crying then
i been in my head
as you wont want me now
and i been on the ground
and i been hurting wait

baby please dont
go away now
i been lost here
inside this small house
every days worse
than what ive known
oh no
oh lord

she wont want me then
but i just had to fuck around
i been in my head for months
thats why im hurting now
every time youre bored of me
and im just aching more it seems
i just want you here
but thats what every song has said

and its been all in my head
she's gone from my bed
calling again
and i said dear
im lost here and for now
im not enough in the end

money's stacking now but
its far from the ceiling
tell me what ur feeling
these drugs so unappealing
bank rolls, car shows
a seal for where my heart goes
they tell me imma be something
i only wanna be yours

after (mackk)

prod. jolst x pekarot
mix, master, by me
shoutout @m4rsyy
(lyrics)
she'd leave
not for a minute now
id be dead for a while now
i cant hate from what i know
i know it

she'd leave id die for a minute now
id be what you had wanted babe
id be anything you'd give to me
dont see death just wasnt made for me
i caved giving you just everything
i named million dollar wedding rings
i knew it wouldnt last
i been so alone

[mars]
she left me for dead
now shes checking in on me
like get the fuck away from me
i hate u and i tried to give u everything u wanted
but u choose someone else

why lie to me
why cry like u cared about me
u should feel bad
all ive done is lay in this bed and feel sad 
u acting like u care 
my health is declining and my body feels like its gonna crash
if you where gonna lie atleast take off your mask
like how long did u think this would last  

i do this everytime
i fall to hard and fall too fast
maybe i need to rest

death was jus meant for me
will u keep me company here in hell

Dead w/ m4rsyy (prod. jolst x pekarot)

prodvelvet
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take what you want
but dont go away
hate all you want
while i couldnt see your face
i confess all this time i cried
i had knew u wouldnt all along
every time u cared
you dont want me to
every time you gave what i had to
stars had held my heart for the last time
you had always had me, a hard find

a tree had always held what i couldnt know
a being wasnt me when you took it all
i was always wanted till u didnt no more
i had always bled for who i was before

she told me i was nothing more than a mistake
she told me id be something when im in my grave
im changing all my flaws until im something u want

dont go away (prodvelvet)

prod. pekarot
mix, master by me
shoutout @m4rsyy
(lyrics)
i thought things would be different
when you had come around
i thought we'd go back
to one day we had
n every time you hated all i am
it didnt make things better
that night
i couldnt be there with you tonight
i couldnt see the world we had liked
taking all my soul again
taking what i had
as if itd make a difference
you dont wanna see me no more
you dont wanna view this no more

(mars)
i still remember it all
i still remember the words you said back in fall
i gave u my all 
but it was enough
and i dont wanna be around you no more
i hate u down to my core
and yes i am sure
i know once i say this i cant take it back
its okay i know it hurts
does it hurt like when u twisted the knife in my heart

but it wasnt enough
ill do anything for you love
ooo
i dont wanna be alone
ooo

No More w/ m4rsyy (pekarot)

Prod. Wayside x Pekarot
mix, master, by me
(lyrics)
every time i said i cried
you dont wanna be the reason
every time i said i died
ur the one that ties the noose
n i been in my head for the longest time
but ur only looking back for one last time
i been waiting for another guy
waiting for another

yeah she be waiting for another
she be talking to my friends
she been telling them a lie
she been cheating on her lover
i just want to be the reason
you only wanted me around
n she never want to leave me
but she never wanna call me back
n she never want to take my heart
but she never wanna lose it

n i had waited
inside this moment
inside my head
she never gave in
to what i said

Every Time (Wayside x Pekarot)

prod. cxrter x michael harrison
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
no more, im out of lust now
i hate that she dont want me
four ways for how my heart bleeds
i caved until you gave it to me
a text first but she dont respond to me
my head hurts, as i could tell that she reads
those 3 words, yet shes not feeling the same
a pain dealt, as i been feeling insane

the way were kissing i feel it on my brain
the way its missing, i knew it was the same
and i could be here
until you didnt want me to be
and i could give you everything
but you want nothing from me

take my soul today
or wait
and i have you felt you caved
from weight
everyone's the same love
never want

no more, im out of lust now
i hate that she dont want me
four ways for how my heart bleeds
i caved until you gave it to me
a text first but she dont respond to me
my head hurts, as i could tell that she reads
those 3 words, yet shes not feeling the same
a pain dealt, as i been feeling insane

one moment, the same as the last
one decade, will everything pass
she cared, but not enough oh
she cared, so now its my fault
but she wont let me leave that night
while she was talking to other guys
and i cared but too much
and i said why'd you choose me that night

out of time (cxrter x michael harrison)

prodvelvet
mix, master by me
shoutout @m4rsyy
(lyrics)
i gave all that i could
n i grazed all my endurance
i knew u couldnt do this no more
no more
she'd leave
taking my soul
n i sang millions of songs
n i gave more than i bargained for

(m4rsy)
i gave up everything for you (for you)
i gave up my dreams 2 soon (2 soon)
maybe i would be better off without you 
(without you x2)

play wit my heart
hmu when ur bored of him (bored of him)
im here all by myself
(myself)
im sitting here looking at pics from back then
(back then)
maybe i got some growing todo
maybe i would miss u (miss you)
good things end 2 soon
n im always falling 2 my doom (to my doom)

(chase)
all by myself
knowing you'd leave
waiting for days
your words healing please
i couldnt be what you would have want girl..
now ur finding another
take care of yourself
knowing ur health
knew u too well
saved from this hell
locked in my shell
no keys to get out
without you

choices w/ m4rsyy (prodvelvet)

Prod. Kyotospeak
mix, master,  lyrics by me
shoutout @m4rsyy
(lyrics)
it hurts so bad
now ur gone
now ur gone
n i been down
for months now
you hate me
n i knew that
why'd i go alone here
and u been bad
for once now its been here love

tell me what u want babe
id give u everything
given my all
besides a wedding ring
oh how i struggle now
never been worse
now im trying hard not to be next in a hearse
take it all back
i just want you with me
falling hard now
ur place is where ill forever be
after all they say
gonna lose you anyway

(mars-verse)
break my heart again and again
use my words i told u like a weapon 
i got hot water pouring on my skin since u broke my heart
than u twisted the knife until my wounds reopen
i love the sorrow i love feeling hollow
its my way of coping
i wanna tell u how i feel
but i cant deal with the nuclear fallout

u always in a mood
my hearts starting to race
look at my face
go away girl im jus a waste
my bloods boiling in my veins

farewell w/ m4rsyy (kyotospeak)

prod. dead spyro x RRAREBEAR
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i just felt the words provided by the one above
i just took the word and transcribed that im not enough
i just wanted you to hold me close, call me ur own
she dont want me anymore thats been all my fault
i feel fucked up when u just had left me babe
knew it was tough love when i saw me hey
i just couldnt be there when u wanted me
every day is like im playing lottery
i just gave you all my bands tonight
turned into the reason why i cry

but it just happens every night
woke up to a message that you had sent that night
excuses flying, why you tryna fucking see the light
n i couldnt be the savior of your heart babe
erasing all this time and history
n i felt so fucked up when you left me here
felt so lucked up with ur love sincere
i been lost here for a while now
save me from when im falling down

absent (dead spyro x RRAREBEAR)

prod. cxrter x yunny goldz
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
taking all my life love
couldnt be enough here
just want to be yours babe
just want to feel your face
can you feel it im not enough
all id be is calling bluffs
i dont wanna be the reason u cry (reason u cry)

take a look at my heart see im down
its a lot of these drugs i take now
second look a day where i die
it only felt in my head when u left
i just felt the drink in my chest
i just wanted you to hold me that night
mix a little with the weed without fight
shes ignoring all my calls
being cheating on oh my lord
as i just felt it all inside
finely im seeing all ur lies

taking all my life love
couldnt be enough here
just want to be yours babe
just want to feel your face
can you feel it im not enough
all id be is calling bluffs
i dont wanna be the reason u cry (reason u cry)

n it doesnt even matter when ur holding my heart
it doesnt even matter when im breaking apart
i felt this way for so damn long
one moment ur here then next ur not
i been down for a long time
it takes a lot to appear on the right side
of whats in my mind n i know that
how could i trust u tonight when in my sleep
save me from these forbidden dreams
i awake to what demeans
hidden that fucking side of me

Evermore (cxrter x yunny goldz)

prod neverforever
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
and its unfair
how ull be someone elses
n im alone here
n i cant bare
the thought of u holding someone else close to you
n i hate this place
my mind is a weapon
n ive made the mistake
to always been this way
ive been locked to you
n u dont want me no more
u dont want me no more
u dont want me no more
u dont want me no more
im falling im on the floor

ive been locked to you
n u dont want me no more
u dont want me no more
u dont want

i hate the way you look with someone else
with someone else
n i been alone here
someone else to hold you close
n i hate the way you look inside his arms
inside his arms
ur so beautiful tonight
n i been lost
n i been lost to you babe

unfair (neverforever)

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
have i lost it all
my voice is gone
u move along this night
i sing these songs
she dont want me there
or so i think
but it dont matter that night
oh
a thousand lies
for what you gave that night
id be here
when i leave
know i gave it all
in my tears
id see you call
words i say
you'll misunderstand
to the face
ive played all my hands
a severed frame of mind
so shattered from the time
forever broken hearted
no peace will ever find
writing notes about you this night
while im drinking to save whats right

Lost It All (moneo)

prodvelvet
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
save me babe
you give me a reason
to stay here
stay here

save me
babe, you give me a reason
to stay here
and i just want to be there
for you lately
its so damn hard to know that
you'll be someone elses
wait

dont go away
i felt you here this day
said ill be there
i said ill be there for you
but u dont want me
u want someone else for you
this stupid story
it comes to an end

struggle with the distance
we drift more and more
she's now out the door
must have gotten bored

save me
babe, you give me a reason
to stay here
and i just want to be there
for you lately
its so damn hard to know that
you'll be someone elses
wait
x2

Save Me (prod velvet)

prod. jewelryboy
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i felt more alone
than you did before
i knew it would be more than this
she cared about scars
it was hers that night
i know what was right
when i had those thoughts

give me one minute
im falling from the way we are
i just wanna fit in
to all my peers, i feel so far
about to count the digits
the money spent wont last long
efforts left to heal you
destroyed more than my heart
i felt this would last in my arms
you would be here but im all alone

October (jewelryboy)

(prod. mackk)
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take me from this place
i dont wanna be there anyway
you said you hated all he is
then u were with him for that night
i just wanna hold you close and tight
hope u dont leave me all alone
i just wanna hug u one time
maybe ill make u my life
and lets just know u did
and its been like this
i been all inside
i felt more than fine
hes been holding u
oh the timing fuck
more i do
has got me more in love with you

i thought i found a reason i could hide
who was right?
she took it all from me
and now i will lose my mind

now hes taking off your clothes
in his room, ur all alone
oh he used you?
who would have thought
when he bruised you in the heart
howd u forget, i warned you
lies sent, i trust you
welp right, i shoulda known better
without you,
ill drown in this weather
n i been feeling like you wouldnt care
she took it all from me n
she knew that i would be here
n i been hurting inside for the last time
cause i dont wanna be here oh no

Should Have Known (mackk)

IV ♱ 21
i've given everything

how could i have known it was limited time

chasecomeback

Pinned to spotlight

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