𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕖'𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣,
𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕.
| prod. pekarot |
non-profit
(lyrics)
its so complicated
and im so sedated
with the thoughts that i have here of you
and im so frustated
im stuck here just waiting
for love thatll never come around
you see that im changing
i fall on the pavement
and i cut myself here for you

for you x2
but you dont want me now
im falling, and i just stumble round
cant clear my thoughts when it is only fogging out
i just wanna rot here in my own hell
ive been waiting here for so damn long 
its kinda scary cause i know youd never love me
i fear the future as im writing all this music
theres no one here that will ever fucking listen
staring at her eyes cause i love the way they glisten
you have me here trapped in this trance
melting at the way you give me that glance
so sedated when youre sitting here next to me
i just wanna give you everything left of me

theres nothing here thats left of me,
can u give me everything that i want to see
your eyes "pretty"
i cant define
the things i see
your way of life
stay here with me
im getting by
with you here with me

made 1/1/2023

sedated (pekarot)

prod. maybe @illsee
mix and lyrics by me and @ghoulshorizon
master by me
(lyrics)
flatline
im in too deep here
i said dont leave me
youre all that i need
i fucking flatline
thats when ill love life
ill be around still
just waiting for you
i hate this life of mine
it hurts me so bad
you fucking knew that
thats why you left me
im in too deep

(ghoulshorizon)
my heart flatlined
when i wrote a song about you
your on my mind 24/7
its always about you
when i hear your voice im in heaven
i love when we stay up all night texting
i know its hard right now
i know i betrayed your trust
but let me in please baby
i cant apologize enough
i spend each day waiting for u
maybe one day youll come around

until youll be the one i dream about
sparking my spliff
ill b high up in the clouds
let me be myself
please leave me alone
im wasting away
it was never the same
you fill a void
that i cant replace
until than youll be the one i dream about
oh no

7/23/2023

flatline w/ ghoulshorizon (maybe)

prod. idly blare x michael harrison
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
reason with my own senses
where are you?
forever gone it feels like
im alone, thats why i make this music
u are all, that i truly needed
where are you?
im gone and alone
i hate the road
of where im heading
im so alone
that i resort to people
who dont care
they dont care
they hurt me more
as they say they love me
it doesnt make sense
they control me like a puppet
im hurting inside
and these screams come out while muffled
the place i reside
it doesnt even want me here

where are you now?

where are you (idly blare x michael harrison)

prod. michael harrison
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
she said she loved me for the last time
and i been on the road, these night rides
i try every night to clear my mind
but she dont want me to do that
and i been on my own for a million years
and i know that you wont ever come back
so i stay getting hurt from ones i love
but thats not enough

will she stay with me through the worst
when she looks at me, oh i cant hurt
oh i lost myself for the last time
i been on the road just to clear my mind
how come so clearly i been finding out the truth from this
whenever i move ill feel some way to actually exist
cause its been fucking up my headspace tryna pick apart this
can you stop killing my head slowly, you can do it real fast

forever waiting (michael harrison)

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
tried to dial your phone
but you wont ever come home
come home..
tried to give you a call
but you wont answer at all
are you really mine
when im stuck asking you why
how could you do this to me
memories cause me to bleed
fucking with my own head
the brakes wont catch
my body from screaming
agony im feeling

when the lights go out
will u hear me now
as the walls cave in
im giving it
everything i had left
its a shame to know it
when youre feeling alone
feel the pain in your throat
now theyre taking your throne
shit
the way that it goes
im holding you close
but yet im dying alone
theres a hole in my heart
are we drifting apart
a misunderstanding
ur starting to break me

when all is done
you can start breathing
stop breathing
she took you home
and held u close
and told you words
that you wish would come true

result of a broken mind (moneo)

prod. yunny goldz
mix, master, by me + spookybands
shoutout @spookybands love that man a lot and wish him the best <3
(lyrics)
[chase]
she dont care about the words i say
as she would leave before the end of the day
bleeding strong
cant see
my arms feel weak
as i know im describing worse things
and this nausea tries to take me away
bodys failing yet ill continue to drink
if you really cared
why werent you there
i know youre fucking hating me
attached is what youll never be
as you left me there again
again, again and again

one more flight w/ spookybands (p. yunny goldz)

prod. koilake
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
wont she leave
but not for long
on the road where i will go
i been lost inside my head
how come she wish that i was dead

save my soul
and let it roll
i fucked it up
she let me go
all the time
im out of mind
the rights i wrong
for now its gone

i been lost inside this head
how come she wish that i was dead
and now im gone
for now, for once
you said to me dont break apart

and im just waiting to come back to you babe
these fucking nightmares are tearing at my veins

save my soul
and let it roll
i fucked it up
she let me go
all the time
im out of mind
the rights i wrong
for now its gone

i been lost inside this head
how come she wish that i was dead
and now im gone
for now, for once
you said to me dont break apart

never felt anything (koilake)

prod. idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
out on the road
take me alone
what i do wrong this time
she knew id cry

oh

she knew that id hurt
i been dead for long
mistaken our time spent
not much more from my head

oh

diluted (idly blare)

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
she'd leave my arms tonight
she'd leave my arms tonight
take my soul for whats it worth babe
save me from all i have

now she got me feeling like im nothing
now she wonder where im heading
now i wanted to forget her
and now i wanted you just to let me
taking all my soul i wont get it
everyone is saying im pathetic
wont they ever understand why im like this
why im like this

she'd leave my arms tonight
she'd leave my arms tonight
take my soul for whats it worth babe
save me from all i have

now that you're saying that you get it
its the pain that you gave me you're regretting
i never thought i could forgive you

she'd leave my arms tonight
she'd leave my arms tonight

somehow (moneo)

prod. mackk
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
save my soul for another day
know she would stay if it would take away the pain
and maybe once i cried
and everyone will die
and everyone i knew would leave again

with every moment lost
for another,
for another night
with everyone i cant let u go

and she'd stay for another night
when she'd leave, it isn't right
how id be here left alone
can i clear my head
can i clear my head

another (mackk)

prod. idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take it all this time
make me work for what is mine

i felt lost here in the night
i dont want this one more time
i been crying all this night
oh take it all away
she cant seem to hate me again
oh again
feel the blade beneath my skin
there goes my head
my head

whats the point in love when it just goes away
and away
what am i to feel when nothing ever stays
oh please stay

take what you want from me
and tell me you want me please
what did i do wrong this time
you hate me
and you hate me
and i have felt the way you want me
oh dont please
this vacancy inside my head wont stay
now its done

take it all away (idly blare)

michael harrison x ayoley
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
weeks passed
i never felt the way you did
as i begged
that you had to let me go
i know it shows
for once i did that in my life
and oh no
can i have you here this night

i just want you here this night
and i been losing all this time
and i been feeling words spun then
a little burden on my bed
taking all the world from me
taking all my life it seems
i just want you here with me
but ur so far away
take it in the night
where'd u get the knife babe?
telling me again
take all what you want then
i just felt the worse
i just felt it hurt
i just heard her words again

and she never hit my line
she never said goodbye
and so my heart bleeds
ill never once confide again
and i just wanted you.

and i cared
but u didnt that time love
and i know
that i wasnt ever enough
as i begged
for what you once gave me
now my heart will bleed
now i wont see you here

weeks passed

prodvelvet
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
save me babe
you give me a reason
to stay here
stay here

save me
babe, you give me a reason
to stay here
and i just want to be there
for you lately
its so damn hard to know that
you'll be someone elses
wait

dont go away
i felt you here this day
said ill be there
i said ill be there for you
but u dont want me
u want someone else for you
this stupid story
it comes to an end

struggle with the distance
we drift more and more
she's now out the door
must have gotten bored

save me
babe, you give me a reason
to stay here
and i just want to be there
for you lately
its so damn hard to know that
you'll be someone elses
wait
x2

Save Me (prod velvet)

prod. jewelryboy
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i felt more alone
than you did before
i knew it would be more than this
she cared about scars
it was hers that night
i know what was right
when i had those thoughts

give me one minute
im falling from the way we are
i just wanna fit in
to all my peers, i feel so far
about to count the digits
the money spent wont last long
efforts left to heal you
destroyed more than my heart
i felt this would last in my arms
you would be here but im all alone

October (jewelryboy)

(prod. mackk)
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take me from this place
i dont wanna be there anyway
you said you hated all he is
then u were with him for that night
i just wanna hold you close and tight
hope u dont leave me all alone
i just wanna hug u one time
maybe ill make u my life
and lets just know u did
and its been like this
i been all inside
i felt more than fine
hes been holding u
oh the timing fuck
more i do
has got me more in love with you

i thought i found a reason i could hide
who was right?
she took it all from me
and now i will lose my mind

now hes taking off your clothes
in his room, ur all alone
oh he used you?
who would have thought
when he bruised you in the heart
howd u forget, i warned you
lies sent, i trust you
welp right, i shoulda known better
without you,
ill drown in this weather
n i been feeling like you wouldnt care
she took it all from me n
she knew that i would be here
n i been hurting inside for the last time
cause i dont wanna be here oh no

Should Have Known (mackk)

neverforever
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i could lay on top ur chest
n i would be right here to rest
n u would leave a thought on top of my head
whats it take to rid of doubt
i been gone for long, it dont count
what you did for me, how i couldnt leave
n it just wont be forever
if you dont let me be there
i could give u all i had
if you didnt leave oh
i just wish you were the one for me
but as this time moves on its looking bleak
n i just didnt know how long i had in this life
oh

10/21/2024

A Future With You (neverforever)

idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
no no no no
she finally bring me down

i been looking for a way out
but it didnt mean anything last time
you gave me everything i own n
i been there i dont wanna show it
it brings me down when u left me there
oh i go around
take me there, i dont make a sound
no more when ur holding my head down
holding my head down

didnt really mean that much to you
n u had shown me all i gave you
i had mend your world this time
n it didnt really mean that much no i
would die
met someone then
but it didnt even work out
i been writing all these songs about you
since that night
returning to this place
oh fuck

dont really mean much to you baby
i felt love and now im safely
drifting in the ocean
n i know theres strong waves
i felt out of place n
i had known ur name
but no one could have saved me
i had nothing lately
n it dont mean that much
oh i returning to this place
the ruins what have made me
i been so alone

ruined

nevrfall
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take me before
the grave claims my soul
i gave to you
my heart

and u wanted me
until the hype dies
until the day's night
thats how its been right
i been all alone here
i dont want to be alone

oh no whats wrong
been here before

everyone wanted me
but then the hype dies
taking all my life
so i dont have mine
i gave u my all
while i was in the rut alone
u just want me in night time
never let u heal right
still i answer your calls
i just wanna be there
hearing u until we're done

here before (nevrfall)

neverforever
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
been 2 months since we have talked
how are you doing babe?
take me for what i have lost
im getting through it love
all i can see is my dreams
where you were there with me
i wake up and all i hear is screams
from when you would cry

our texts got more dry as we're caught in the moment
i see guilt in ur eyes as i look who ur phoning
you dont want me to see through disguise
oh why

oh why
seeing the pain in ur eyes
seeing u rolling ur eyes then
seeing it all in ur eyes then
you dont want me
and its alright damn
just dont waste my time

i still have these dreams that haunt me

prod. jacob vallen
mix, master by me
(lyrics) 
i was wronged
way more than twice
by the same person
who i gave my life
and now she's gone
and im alone
i felt it all
while in her home

a day in my life
wont go that way
and now she's gone
and i will say
i might die
as i still bleed
n now i fiend
for your love

december wasnt so cold
when you were here
and now im growing old
with no one near
forever in past tense
as im thinking what we meant
theres a flame to my hand
as im holding to last hope

a day in my life
wont go that way
and now she's gone
and i will say
i might die
as i still bleed
n now i fiend
for your love

all of what we did
im holding it still close
cause my time is running out
and ur moving to new things
a long old memory
is what im seeing now
ur making my heart bleed
oh darling
december is so cold

December

prod. jacob vallen
mix, master by me
(lyrics) 
No
They find me here, no hope
I been alone so long
You can't be here oh no
And I said hello
What should I do this night
I wished you were all mine
I knew we'd be alone
I know
Wait
When did you get here
Last time I checked
I had you in all of my thoughts

Don't break the door I'll be outside
When you're with me I feel alright
I feel your touch, it's got me light
Hope id fit in, right in your arms

I just want to hold you close
Take you out while on the road
Baby you'd be there for me
As I know you wouldn't do me like that
Thought all of this
Of what we couldn't be
There's blood all in the water
From when you'd finally leave

Wait don't go just stay
I been okay
Love how you lay with me
Wait
You saw on the tv that night
As long as you been here, I'm fine
As I just wanted you to be my love
It wasn't enough for you
That's why I was left here all alone

Don't break the door I'll be outside
When you're with me I feel alright
I feel your touch, it's got me light
Hope id fit in, right in your arms
Don't break the door I'll be outside
When you're with me I feel alright
I feel your touch, it's got me light
Hope id fit in, right in your arms

Wait Dont Go

prodvelvet
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
I really miss your touch
Why did I let this go
Save me, don't let me go
Gone crazy for what i know
Why I didn't hold you tight
Like when you'll be mine

What if you're really gone for good
In another state
I'm missing all your touch
I really miss that
I really thought we'd be a thing
Like gods plan really what has changed
What do I do

Why have you heard me now
Like what do I have around
I know what you're like
Nights I spent alone
Why did you leave me now
Nights oh what have we done
Fight, to where you'd be here
Right I knew it was clear

Distance

prod. pekarot
mix, master by me
w/ @marsmal
(lyrics)
hold me now

i said to you dont go
and you took it all from me
and now im on the road
that i dont recognise
why my friends always leave
or is that just me?
i tend to push them away
and its all a mistake

you wasted the last 5 months
i knew something was up
but i put it in the back of my mind
but how could i build something on a lie
i try and i try
but u lie and u lie
time after time
its the same game we play
it always ends the same
my feelings gotta change
i cant keep feeling this way
im trying to find a way to escape
this world feels so cold
so why do i even try
like why do i do this alone

there's nothing that i could give you
now im always feeling blue
making references to the songs that ive lost
now im alone here
with my own emotions
like how i couldnt be the one that you want
i felt love
only comes and goes
and it hurts my heart
how you'll always go
and you'll listen to my songs
holding my heart
waiting for me to be
something that you want
as im falling down
to the person im creating
i couldnt lie, you're all on my mind
in everything that i see
it takes me away
when i felt the day
go away

Hold Me w/ marsmal

prod. jacob vallen
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
Taking me now
I held my hand out
Waiting for you to grab on
You didn't want to so then you would leave
Giving a smile, when you're looking
Giving me warmth, I felt then
Being the person that you would call your home

Why wont you turn around

Look in the mirror, I see your face
All that I do is for a chance
Pulling what I thought I lost
For you, for you

Where are we now
I held my hand out
Waiting for college
Would you want that now
Is there another around?
Aside from the frown
Gently let me down
I've wondered for miles
Attached for a while
Its been your smile
The way that you treat me
When my eyes glow in solace
Now through all this
I couldn't have you
No I couldn't have you but could you
Turn around

Look in the mirror, I see your face
All that I do is for a chance
Pulling what I thought I lost
For you, for you

Now my mindset is turning
Searching for reason
Looking at moons
I can feel it, I'm bleeding
How it was for you
Out of my body
Clouded by thoughts of us now
Turn around

Look in the mirror, I see your face
All that I do is for a chance
Pulling what I thought I lost
For you, for you
Look in the mirror, I see your face
All that I do is for a chance
Pulling what I thought I lost
For you, for you

Turn Around

prod. michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
And I would look in your eyes
See the disguise you created for me
And now you wanna be nice
How bout you lie to me
And now I'll open my eyes
It was a dream to be there
Now i'm feeling my world
Rip from my heart for the last time

And now I'd look in your eyes
For if you are lying to me
As I don't wanna believe
Whats been laid out to me
And as the Sun arises
Love is dying
As I want you here
But you’re so far away

So far away 
Now I need you
So far away
Now I miss you
So far away

So Far Away

prod. michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
i just wanna know
what'll make this right
i just wish you're here
hold your hand in mine
i just couldnt be
in line with what i know
what you took from me
on top of this rope
i just wanna know
if i made you smile
if you're looking at the way
that i been turning wild
everyone that comes back
already know whats up
everyone to hear my songs knew it all along
and you never wanted me more than a night
and you never want to do this till i try and fight
i dont wanna give you away
i just wanna hear your take
i just wanna hold you closer than before
i been torn
n i been trying everything i could to protect you
only rejecting all this lust as i know its untrue
u been acting like we're fine
but its so dishonest
more than i could stomach
saying i should stomach it
i suffer in it

I Just Want To Know

prod. all we left unsaid
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
im losing my mind (oh no)
this doesnt feel right (dont let go)
im wasting your time (told you so)
she wanted me too late (whats the point in that)
and now im alone
wishing somewhere to go
its clouded above (the rain is falling)
im losing my home (it was what i wanted)
its down to the bone (fear the grave is calling)
you're rotting my corpse (how u didnt use that)
until i feel right
right
ill die
she ripped me apart
what i would have seen
if i just opened my eyes

Losing My Mind

prod. Jacob Vallen
wish u were here longer
(lyrics)
I
I been running away
I been hiding the day
I been choosing who i want to be

Oh no I felt you had left me
Now i am standing all alone
I wish you were here
Now you're so far and I can't
Stand this summer it harvest my inner being
Oh no I gave you one more chance

And now you're not with me
I been holding on for something
I couldn't once bleed
As you're the bandage to keep me going
Now I see that i'm not better off alone
As I can't breathe at the thought of you being gone
Now it seems that this viscious cycle
of all these things that i say in these songs

Summer Is Lonely Without You

prod. mackk
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
Giving in
I know you're giving in
I know that when I'm in defeat
I take a sedative
And that's just how I live
Yeah, that's just how I live
Cause I been in this rut too long
And I don't question it

Are you giving in?
Cause I been giving in
And I spend everything I wanted
I don't want to live
And I just bought a crib
And I sit all alone
And I just wanted you right back
Someone to call a home

Cause I been waiting so long
And I been holding my own
And I been looking for something that I never could find
I just wanted you back
And now it's all in your head
As I been falling for time

As I been giving in
To everything I am
To letting down everybody that I would want to know
And I just want to know
I'll make it on my own
And I just couldn't go back to the way before

Giving In

(prod. mackk)
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
and i know where we're going
yet feeling so lost
until i open my eyes

and so i'll open my eyes
sat on the road all alone
but i would never go back to what i had in the past
cause now im mourning so bad
i only self sabotage
its only killing me further
and pulling me down

and its just pulling me down
and howd this word go around
when you were last in my head
for how im feeling so dead
i been going through songs
like no one else would have known
and now im hoping theres something
that you had to give me

and so id open my eyes
knowing that we wouldnt last
and how i feel here so down
when u were here in the past
i been looking for something to get me through this
but all the pills and the liquor would never have fixed

and you had opened my eyes
you had to show me the worse
you think im doing the best
i think ill be in a hearse
before the year here would end
guess im now out of luck
what was the luck
as i was doomed in this world

and so i'll open my eyes
sat on the road all alone
but i would never go back to what i had in the past
cause now im mourning so bad
i only self sabotage
its only killing me further
and pulling me down

Open My Eyes

prod. jacob vallen
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
give me 10 minutes
for ill go to sleep
these pills dont mean nothing
like the girl next to me
dreams are real haunting
and i wish i knew
what i could have been if i was with you

save me from heartbreak and be my last girl
i now owe you nothing
but id show you the world
this money wont last me
but it wont stop a thing
id buy you a ring
id buy everything
ruin my life and know its okay
im growing real tired
im covered in chains
and oh its a shame
ive dropped everything
my friends they dont like me
they think that ive changed

mood is unstable
its all on the table
if this shall fall through
then i wont be able
to find my way through
the cracks in the rubble
think im in trouble
im in real trouble
find my way home
as winter is coming
this snow keeps on falling
my vision is fogging
a fire is warm
but your heart keeps me warmer
oh this is torture
im in real torment

Torment

prod. michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
this stress wasnt meant for me
now i am just going home alone
and its killing me so slowly
when you are in your phone
who knows
cause the thoughts that i have inside
show you with somebody else
and it hurts
and i couldnt think different
when all ive been dealt with is pain
this is great

somehow this life brings me down
and i dont know how I
will ever escape from this
its just the same things that kill me inside all the time
well im stuck in this cycle

stuck in this
stuck in this
stuck in this same old cycle

chasecomeback

Pinned to spotlight

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