𝕙𝕠𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕖'𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣,
𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 𝕞𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕.
| prod. pekarot |
non-profit
(lyrics)
its so complicated
and im so sedated
with the thoughts that i have here of you
and im so frustated
im stuck here just waiting
for love thatll never come around
you see that im changing
i fall on the pavement
and i cut myself here for you

for you x2
but you dont want me now
im falling, and i just stumble round
cant clear my thoughts when it is only fogging out
i just wanna rot here in my own hell
ive been waiting here for so damn long 
its kinda scary cause i know youd never love me
i fear the future as im writing all this music
theres no one here that will ever fucking listen
staring at her eyes cause i love the way they glisten
you have me here trapped in this trance
melting at the way you give me that glance
so sedated when youre sitting here next to me
i just wanna give you everything left of me

theres nothing here thats left of me,
can u give me everything that i want to see
your eyes "pretty"
i cant define
the things i see
your way of life
stay here with me
im getting by
with you here with me

made 1/1/2023

sedated (pekarot)

prod. yunny goldz
mix, master, by me + spookybands
shoutout @spookybands love that man a lot and wish him the best <3
(lyrics)
[chase]
she dont care about the words i say
as she would leave before the end of the day
bleeding strong
cant see
my arms feel weak
as i know im describing worse things
and this nausea tries to take me away
bodys failing yet ill continue to drink
if you really cared
why werent you there
i know youre fucking hating me
attached is what youll never be
as you left me there again
again, again and again

one more flight w/ spookybands (p. yunny goldz)

prod. koilake
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
wont she leave
but not for long
on the road where i will go
i been lost inside my head
how come she wish that i was dead

save my soul
and let it roll
i fucked it up
she let me go
all the time
im out of mind
the rights i wrong
for now its gone

i been lost inside this head
how come she wish that i was dead
and now im gone
for now, for once
you said to me dont break apart

and im just waiting to come back to you babe
these fucking nightmares are tearing at my veins

save my soul
and let it roll
i fucked it up
she let me go
all the time
im out of mind
the rights i wrong
for now its gone

i been lost inside this head
how come she wish that i was dead
and now im gone
for now, for once
you said to me dont break apart

never felt anything (koilake)

prod. idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
out on the road
take me alone
what i do wrong this time
she knew id cry

oh

she knew that id hurt
i been dead for long
mistaken our time spent
not much more from my head

oh

diluted (idly blare)

prod. mackk
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
save my soul for another day
know she would stay if it would take away the pain
and maybe once i cried
and everyone will die
and everyone i knew would leave again

with every moment lost
for another,
for another night
with everyone i cant let u go

and she'd stay for another night
when she'd leave, it isn't right
how id be here left alone
can i clear my head
can i clear my head

another (mackk)

prod. king theta
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
and she cared
what did i mean then
until you came back
i knew it wouldnt last
and i felt
that i had nothing
i didnt mean that
why am i sad?

and shes mad
for what i did with a friend that night
i didnt mean it that way that time
i fucked the way that i said it
i fucked up
i thought it all in my head this time
thats what you had shown me
oh its killing me now

and i said
what'd it mean to this?
what'd i do for this?
how'd i lose?
tonight id fall
i lost my all
i gave my life
to you
to you.

and shes mad
for what i did with a friend that night
i didnt mean it that way that time
i fucked the way that i said it
i fucked up
i thought it all in my head this time
thats what you had shown me
oh its killing me now

regret

prod. moneo
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take my heart
if it will bring you home
take what i have
if you stay the night
tell me why
did u have to leave that night
when everything we had aint right
most nights i lay awake in sorrow
tell me that there'll be tomorrow
and i felt that you had to leave again
oh again
words unsaid inside the night
and i felt all these tears of mine
as they dripped down onto the wooden floor
of this home of mine
this home of mine
take my arm and hold me close
this aint right about the way we are
about you leaving
oh how this road is cold again
never once knew you
never once fell through
took my heart and tore it in two
taking all you wanted
i just wanna heal you

sorrow (moneo)

prod. jewelryboy
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i felt more alone
than you did before
i knew it would be more than this
she cared about scars
it was hers that night
i know what was right
when i had those thoughts

give me one minute
im falling from the way we are
i just wanna fit in
to all my peers, i feel so far
about to count the digits
the money spent wont last long
efforts left to heal you
destroyed more than my heart
i felt this would last in my arms
you would be here but im all alone

October (jewelryboy)

(prod. mackk)
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
take me from this place
i dont wanna be there anyway
you said you hated all he is
then u were with him for that night
i just wanna hold you close and tight
hope u dont leave me all alone
i just wanna hug u one time
maybe ill make u my life
and lets just know u did
and its been like this
i been all inside
i felt more than fine
hes been holding u
oh the timing fuck
more i do
has got me more in love with you

i thought i found a reason i could hide
who was right?
she took it all from me
and now i will lose my mind

now hes taking off your clothes
in his room, ur all alone
oh he used you?
who would have thought
when he bruised you in the heart
howd u forget, i warned you
lies sent, i trust you
welp right, i shoulda known better
without you,
ill drown in this weather
n i been feeling like you wouldnt care
she took it all from me n
she knew that i would be here
n i been hurting inside for the last time
cause i dont wanna be here oh no

Should Have Known (mackk)

neverforever
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
i could lay on top ur chest
n i would be right here to rest
n u would leave a thought on top of my head
whats it take to rid of doubt
i been gone for long, it dont count
what you did for me, how i couldnt leave
n it just wont be forever
if you dont let me be there
i could give u all i had
if you didnt leave oh
i just wish you were the one for me
but as this time moves on its looking bleak
n i just didnt know how long i had in this life
oh

10/21/2024

A Future With You (neverforever)

idly blare
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
no no no no
she finally bring me down

i been looking for a way out
but it didnt mean anything last time
you gave me everything i own n
i been there i dont wanna show it
it brings me down when u left me there
oh i go around
take me there, i dont make a sound
no more when ur holding my head down
holding my head down

didnt really mean that much to you
n u had shown me all i gave you
i had mend your world this time
n it didnt really mean that much no i
would die
met someone then
but it didnt even work out
i been writing all these songs about you
since that night
returning to this place
oh fuck

dont really mean much to you baby
i felt love and now im safely
drifting in the ocean
n i know theres strong waves
i felt out of place n
i had known ur name
but no one could have saved me
i had nothing lately
n it dont mean that much
oh i returning to this place
the ruins what have made me
i been so alone

ruined

neverforever
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
been 2 months since we have talked
how are you doing babe?
take me for what i have lost
im getting through it love
all i can see is my dreams
where you were there with me
i wake up and all i hear is screams
from when you would cry

our texts got more dry as we're caught in the moment
i see guilt in ur eyes as i look who ur phoning
you dont want me to see through disguise
oh why

oh why
seeing the pain in ur eyes
seeing u rolling ur eyes then
seeing it all in ur eyes then
you dont want me
and its alright damn
just dont waste my time

i still have these dreams that haunt me

prod. jacob vallen
mix, master by me
(lyrics) 
i was wronged
way more than twice
by the same person
who i gave my life
and now she's gone
and im alone
i felt it all
while in her home

a day in my life
wont go that way
and now she's gone
and i will say
i might die
as i still bleed
n now i fiend
for your love

december wasnt so cold
when you were here
and now im growing old
with no one near
forever in past tense
as im thinking what we meant
theres a flame to my hand
as im holding to last hope

a day in my life
wont go that way
and now she's gone
and i will say
i might die
as i still bleed
n now i fiend
for your love

all of what we did
im holding it still close
cause my time is running out
and ur moving to new things
a long old memory
is what im seeing now
ur making my heart bleed
oh darling
december is so cold

December

prod. velvet
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
Take my heart but don't hold me close
Hate your life but you'll need me most
I'll be around when you need me there
Just call my phone and I'll answer quick
I couldn't lie most of my life
"Baby don't go", I said
Now you wont be there when I need you most
Feeling your pain
I'll be there for you, when you need
Oh no, baby don't go
I felt all of your pain
Now you see me today
And I, oh I
The last time that I could have seen you
As we've moved on
Now its all see through to what we meant
What we meant was nothing

A Heart Is All You Wanted

prod. michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
And I would look in your eyes
See the disguise you created for me
And now you wanna be nice
How bout you lie to me
And now I'll open my eyes
It was a dream to be there
Now i'm feeling my world
Rip from my heart for the last time

And now I'd look in your eyes
For if you are lying to me
As I don't wanna believe
Whats been laid out to me
And as the Sun arises
Love is dying
As I want you here
But you’re so far away

So far away 
Now I need you
So far away
Now I miss you
So far away

So Far Away

prod. michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
i just wanna know
what'll make this right
i just wish you're here
hold your hand in mine
i just couldnt be
in line with what i know
what you took from me
on top of this rope
i just wanna know
if i made you smile
if you're looking at the way
that i been turning wild
everyone that comes back
already know whats up
everyone to hear my songs knew it all along
and you never wanted me more than a night
and you never want to do this till i try and fight
i dont wanna give you away
i just wanna hear your take
i just wanna hold you closer than before
i been torn
n i been trying everything i could to protect you
only rejecting all this lust as i know its untrue
u been acting like we're fine
but its so dishonest
more than i could stomach
saying i should stomach it
i suffer in it

I Just Want To Know

(prod. mackk)
mix, master, lyrics by me
(lyrics)
and i know where we're going
yet feeling so lost
until i open my eyes

and so i'll open my eyes
sat on the road all alone
but i would never go back to what i had in the past
cause now im mourning so bad
i only self sabotage
its only killing me further
and pulling me down

and its just pulling me down
and howd this word go around
when you were last in my head
for how im feeling so dead
i been going through songs
like no one else would have known
and now im hoping theres something
that you had to give me

and so id open my eyes
knowing that we wouldnt last
and how i feel here so down
when u were here in the past
i been looking for something to get me through this
but all the pills and the liquor would never have fixed

and you had opened my eyes
you had to show me the worse
you think im doing the best
i think ill be in a hearse
before the year here would end
guess im now out of luck
what was the luck
as i was doomed in this world

and so i'll open my eyes
sat on the road all alone
but i would never go back to what i had in the past
cause now im mourning so bad
i only self sabotage
its only killing me further
and pulling me down

Open My Eyes

prod. jacob vallen
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
give me 10 minutes
for ill go to sleep
these pills dont mean nothing
like the girl next to me
dreams are real haunting
and i wish i knew
what i could have been if i was with you

save me from heartbreak and be my last girl
i now owe you nothing
but id show you the world
this money wont last me
but it wont stop a thing
id buy you a ring
id buy everything
ruin my life and know its okay
im growing real tired
im covered in chains
and oh its a shame
ive dropped everything
my friends they dont like me
they think that ive changed

mood is unstable
its all on the table
if this shall fall through
then i wont be able
to find my way through
the cracks in the rubble
think im in trouble
im in real trouble
find my way home
as winter is coming
this snow keeps on falling
my vision is fogging
a fire is warm
but your heart keeps me warmer
oh this is torture
im in real torment

Torment

prod. michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
this stress wasnt meant for me
now i am just going home alone
and its killing me so slowly
when you are in your phone
who knows
cause the thoughts that i have inside
show you with somebody else
and it hurts
and i couldnt think different
when all ive been dealt with is pain
this is great

somehow this life brings me down
and i dont know how I
will ever escape from this
its just the same things that kill me inside all the time
well im stuck in this cycle

stuck in this
stuck in this
stuck in this same old cycle

Stuck In This Cycle

everything comes to an end, even the things we love the most.
i never wanted it to end.
prod. mackk
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
i said it
i said it now
i called it
i called it all
youre lying
and i fell then
i know it
i knew it all

not honest
im dying please
through all this
you still call me
what happened
were torn apart
you acted
like im not there
we ended
not how i want
disgusted
you treated me
an option
for all i gave
im lost and
i cant be saved

Ended

guitar by michael harrison
mix, master by me
(lyrics)
take me love
dont go away
replace me with whatever you want
cause i did all that i could for you
he couldnt give what i did for you
yet all i wanted was a life with us two
blame me more for your own mistakes
its a shame that we had ended

what was i promised
more than this pain
give me a reason to stay
its just so common
treat me this way
give me your heart for a change
i didnt deserve the treatment you brang
left me for something so wrong
after it all i gave you a chance
make up the things that you done
you act like its normal
forcing my hand
putting your friends after him
and when you return
ill open my arms
hoping you stay here for once

Replaced

prod. velvet
(lyrics)
tell me for once did i break your heart
and you wouldnt be there
as i fall apart now
and i fall apart now, now
how could i be there when you pushed me away
and you wanted more than i had on the table then
hurts me more than you would know, know
tell me for once you're drawing my guilt
and know that its messed up
when you use me for the night
and this must be for tonight, right
and the armor i wear its holding me closed
from all of the cuts you have gainst my soul and I
i felt you stab more than twice, woah
your location is off
you're hiding so often
not like it matters
thought youd be honest now
i really know where you are, with him

at the end of the day, whos holding you close?
who gave you that ring? who bought you those clothes?
who did all those things, that you needed most?
who sacrificed all, when all was so lost?
it was only me, who built every wall
who gave you his money, to pay every cost
and now its so funny, its all for nothing
he’ll never give it, regret it so often

For Once

prod. threemvsk
(lyrics)
i fear that everyones mistaken
for the pain i lay on the pavement
i know that i dont want to feel this
im waiting for you to come back
please stay is something that i once said
while im repeating all of the same things
i know that i will never make it
another cold heart rotting as a payment

i fear that one day youll replace me
i know ive given more than taken
in love but never with the real thing
i know that i will never feel it
you cared but not even a little now
and these heart strings you can never pull at
how my thoughts sting as i always think of you
when my phone rings i tend to always fear its you

and its something i could never forget
when its night time i tend to write in torment
cause its nightmares whenever i go right to bed
as your pretty face i cant ever get out my head
when my time comes i hope i only dream of you
i walk around now i met my fate here with a smile
and seeing old friends they tell me how its been a while
with these relationships i tend to never reconcile

i fear that everyones mistaken
for the pain i lay on the pavement
i know that i dont want to feel this
im waiting for you to come back
please stay is something that i once said
while im repeating all of the same things
i know that i will never make it
another cold heart rotting as a payment

Reconcile

prod. michael harrison + ayoley
(lyrics)
running in circles i wish you the best
pain isnt worth all the stress on my chest
life seems so fast and i cant ever catch up
they say that its worth it, before then i give up
and maybe im searching for a life i wont have
my thoughts seem uncertain for the person i was
when raising the curtain my mask will fall off
the fire is burning theres smoke in my lungs
and how do i feel like the person i was
tired and yearning for someone i loved
treat me like a contact that was once on your phone
what a mistake
i was mistaken

distance we lost
you're somewhere above
and nodding like ive been someone in the dust
its just not worth all the trouble ive caused
i look at the sun
and feel like we're done here
thats how i felt when you were last around
and now i feel like im just here on the ground
its killing me slowly when you're not around
so i will just leave here
and i will just leave you alone

and now you have me all alone
i feel like im crazy and

running in circles i wish you the best
pain isnt worth all the stress on my chest
life seems so fast and i cant ever catch up
they say that its worth it, before then i give up
and maybe im searching for a life i wont have
my thoughts seem uncertain for the person i was
when raising the curtain my mask will fall off
the fire is burning theres smoke in my lungs
and how do i feel like the person i was
tired and yearning for someone i loved
treat me like a contact that was once on your phone
what a mistake
i was mistaken

the person i was

prod neverforever
(lyrics)
if i felt you here
would you stay
for a while?
if i call your name
would you answer me now?
if i died
would you visit my grave
for a while?
or would you
leave me to rot alone?
and the ground is cold
from the winter snow
and the ice freezing me
with the trees of my home

maybe you'd be there when im gone
holding my lifeless body in your arms
maybe id feel the lord in my life now
heaven only seems far when i lie down
regretting everything i did in the past
hating me for what ive turned into here now
leaving me so broken i cant repair now

what ifs

prod. neverforever
(lyrics)
im constantly wasting time
trying to feel alright
u dial my phone again
im letting it ring instead
cause i couldnt forget time
when i would call you mine
and you stood there all with him
while you leave me with this regret

where do i go
what do i feel
maybe this time is killing me
i feel like this is just surreal
cause all the wasted things i did
and you took it for granted, now im alone
maybe id stand this if i was still strong
cause i was so grounded before you were gone
my head is still pounding i need antidote

i need antidote
cause i cannot think straight
and my hearts beating wrong

im constantly wasting time
trying to feel alright
u dial my phone again
im letting it ring instead
cause i couldnt forget time
when i would call you mine
and you stood there all with him
while you leave me with this regret

antidote

prod. s0ftskelet0ns
(lyrics)
maybe id stop looking out the window
hoping that id see you even come home
cause i been hoping for so long that id have you
even with nothing said still my hearts blue
and im waiting all this time in a rental
as im wishing that these pills will never be strong
i took too many now im feeling my heart numb
its such a waste of money how i feel so dumb

i felt the lord claim me
hoping that all my sins would be cleaned
how my hearts stuck fighting in the middle
when i realized that you never cared a little
i drink to numb my feelings
i aim to wrong your doing
love sucks i need something different
a book to finish living

oh no
oh lord
i felt the trees keep falling
rain drops to close my eye lid
wont stop, the wind's so violent
cant stop the pain subsiding
how come im always hiding

claim me

prod ?
(lyrics)
waiting a minute love
digging till i throw up
how i could i still love you
now that you're gone
and i feel like i been
alone in the silence
cause everything i did
was a waste to you now
feeling exhausted
you're turning real violent
know that you'll hold me
in the back of your mind

back of my mind
how i knew its not right
knowing i loved you for time

im an insomniac
i couldnt go to sleep
maybe you'd love me back
if i wasnt so mean
how could you tell me that
i feel it in my side
if i could have held it back
you would have been my bride
waiting a minute love
digging till i throw up
how i could i still love you
now that you're gone

insomniac

prod moneo
(lyrics)
wasted alone in the silence
i feel the thoughts keep on pounding
and i beg the cost of some love
while you're using him
getting with many
and it hurts
to watch you go down a path
you dont want in the first place

wait love hold me so tight
till my ribs break
a crack in the spine
for my legs shake
our souls intertwine
or so i felt

i felt wrong
now you're gone
and im still here
while its unclear
if ill be alive

if ill be alive
you ask me this time
i couldnt make up for the things that i done
and last year was fucked
cause i wasted away

now im doing great
ive swallowed my fate
i drink to the pain
till my mind moves away

maybe sometime
all this pain will subside
and the sky will come clear
for the questions i lack
ill never know the path i should go
im asking the lord
for soon he shall show

wasted

prod s0ftskelet0ns
(lyrics)
you know my thoughts keep running
make the stars align
and i could fill this heart
when im alone this night
and its just something wrong
inside my brain this time
maybe one day i will just call you mine
thoughts keep running
and the stars align
i wish that i could call you something
but know something isnt right
i flush the pills down slowly
drinking alc to clear my thoughts
cause its a little bit too much
to think about you in the night
and all the things you would have done
without me ever in your life
at least that i could say i tried
cause i would give you all of mine
with all the memories i have
its constant thoughts of suicide
i have the gun cant pull the trigger
as theres something left much bigger

lord hold me down
saying lord hold me down
theres so much more here in life
i know you'll show me sometime
and as im waiting hear this
on my knees im praying
keep my friends from satan
show them all your ways and
protect them, guide them
shield all from this violence
keep the world all shining

thoughts keep running
and the stars align
i wish that i could call you something
but know something isnt right
i flush the pills down slowly
drinking alc to clear my thoughts
cause its a little bit too much
to think about you in the night

chasecomeback

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