Recording of LOK Q&A at book signing in LA, CA 9/29/15

Uh huh this my shit

It's not flawless and I probably will rerecord at some point, but figured it might be decent enough for people to mess around with

It's Over Isn't It? (Karaoke)/Piano Accompaniment

Lyrics:

Rolyn: For years I pursued her, then dismissed my pain. I thought I was done with her
Now that I’ve refused her, how shall I regain the chance I had won from her
Agony! That can cut you in two
When you know she loves one man, who will never be you

Elliott: High in a tower a maid sits by the hour, maintaining her hair
She shyly keeps her guard, her purity unmarred, perhaps deep in prayer (gentle mother, font of mercy)
Agony, far more painful than yours!
When the wife they have given you, is more soiled than whores.
Agony! To face such an affront
Head-strong and unsmiling, 

Rolyn: And aptly beguiling,

Elliott: Frustrating the hunt
If she were only unsoiled...

Rolyn: Just you Ser are roiled, where’s the soil?

Elliott: She’s despoiled

Rolyn: This embroilment’s your delusion foiled

Elliott: No for all that I’ve toiled, it’s my right

Rolyn: Well, it’s trite

Elliott: Better trite than pathetically pining away

Rolyn: There is no shame in pining... Never minding the station unsuitable

Elliott: Reputation assailable, ever immutable 

Rolyn: Yet unavailable

Both: ahhh-ahhh-ahh-ahh-ahh (like in the reprise)

Elliott: Agony!

Rolyn: Misery!

Elliott: Woe!

Both: No prostitute can erase

Elliott: As you swallow your pride

Rolyn: And put feelings aside

Both: Not forgetting your place.
Agony! Could she view us as sport?
Ah well...(pause) she needs a consort.

Rolyn and Eliott in Agony

Tanks, Andy

Guitelele (or Guilele) cover of "Everything Stays" from Adventure Time

Everything Stays (Rebecca Sugar)

Book Snob's Favorite Things

We all need a little Airplane!

Julia breaks and runs

Cher[yl + Lar]ry Bomb

The naming convention doesn't make a ton of sense, but with "Ballad of the Bastards" from last year, the "Ballad of Snow" didn't feel right. 

Lyrics:

[BALLADEER]
Jonny, simple man.
Born in a tower only known to Bran.
Ruled with one thought,
So away he ran,
To answer the call of the Targaryen queen
In Dragonstone!
In Dragonstone!

Saw without pause
The one true threat.
Said, “Nothing else’s
Worth a single fret.
Dragon glass will be
Our lone asset.
Don’t make a scene—
Only a king
Could ever think
To talk to a queen!”

[NORTHERN LORDS, SPOKEN]
We called your brother king.  And then he rode south and lost his kingdom. 

Winter is here, Your Grace.  We need the King in the North in the North.

[BALLADEER]
Jonny, brooding man,
Ignored the Lords’ warnings
And formed no plan.
Strolled of a morning
All spick and span
To get imprisoned on an island
Next to King’s Landing
To answer the call of the Targaryen queen
In Dragonstone!
In Dragonstone!

Saw Daenerys there
On a throne.
Heard Daenerys say,
"The North, I own.
You have nothing to offer
And you came alone.”
But Jon just beamed,
“Only a king
Could ever think
To talk to a queen."

[CROWD]
Jon Snow-!
[BALLADEER]
-Gave 'em a show.
[CROWD]
Jon Snow-!
[BALLADEER]
-Was not free to go.
[CROWD]
Jon Snow-!
[BALLADEER]
-Who could say no
To a man quite as slow
as-?
[CROWD]
Jon Snow!

[TYRION & DAENERYS, SPOKEN]
Keep him occupied while we focus on the task at hand: Casterly Rock. 

What was that Ser Davos said...about taking a knife in the heart for his people? Did you notice that?

You must allow them their flights of fancy; it's dreary in the North.

[BALLADEER]
Jonny,
Humble man,
Said, "I will do what
A poor king can.”
There’s clearly nothing
More fitting than,

Sailing twice past the North
Without checking in 
After being imprisoned on an island 
Next to King’s Landing 
To answer the call of the Targaryen queen
In Dragonstone!
In Dragonstone!

Lying in a bed, his chest 
Full of scars,
He ceded his kingdom
To the Targ.
Said, “Northerners will see you
For what you are,
It’s what I’ve seen;
Our love hasn’t been on screen at all,
But screened,
And that’s our scene:
On Game of Thrones
You can be real slow,
March into traps 
Or kneel away control,
I waived Northern freedom
With nothing to show...
But I talked to a queen-
I talked to a queen!

The Ballad of Dragonstone

[Jon]
Everybody's got the right to a kingship.
Say "enough", ruling's not as tough as it seems...
Don't be scared you won't prevail,
A woman will always post your bail.
The story won't let you simply fail on your dreams.

[Dany]
Everybody's got the right to some fire

[Jorah]
If you want to have fire...

[Tyrion]
Even though at times they go to extremes!

[Jon]
Go to extremes

[Varys]
All the smallfolk can prevail!

[Tyrion]
Bend the knee or go to jail

[Dany]
I didn't come here to put people in jail...for their dreams!

[All]
Truce meeting!

[Jon]
So very necessary

[Tyrion]
Keep Cersei in check

[Jon + Dany]
Have some boat sex!

[All]
Truce meeting!

[Jon]
Why send an emissary?

[Varys]
Think of the vassals

[Dany]
Forego our castles

[All]
Truce meeting!

[Tyrion] Means that we're a smart show!

[Jon + Jorah]
That's it!

[All]
Means we film things real show
And the critics all glow,
Emmys say we're top show!
Top show! Top show! Top show!

Everybody's got the right to some nonsense.

[Jorah]
If you want to have nonsense...

[Jon]
Wormhole ravens and fluctuating sizes of teams

[All minus Jon]
Sizes of teams!

[All]
Dothraki, Unsullied, Reach or Vale
We're all complicit in the sale
Remember that we're too big to fail on our dreams!
Game of Thrones's silly tale... 
Is the dream!

[wight noises]

Chebyshov

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