Mixed by Max Black

11/4/13: Edited discrepancies, added new cover art.

Lyrics: 

From the day we get up and walk around,
We’re told that there’s someone living out and about,
Who’s love we share, who’s hearts we own,
But where are they and why the hell haven’t they shown

I thought I knew her once,
My Venus de Milo, my honeybun, 
But it ended slowly, but it ended hard,
Another fell down on my house of cards.

And then I saw you,
A reflection, an infectious revelation,
Forever removed from my space and time,
Like a jewel, like a gem, that will never be mine.

Streamline our memories,
Parallel to our dysfunctional reveries,
And savor the sound, to obsess about,
The moment I knew you’d be mine, without a doubt.

Oh, sitting under the trees,
The white sand, oh man, the summer breeze,
The touch of your lips against my own,
Your beautiful voice, your tempered tone.

Forget it, I thought it would mean something,
To live this lie, thinking I’d regret nothing,
But somewhere along this lovely line,
I forgot who I was, living this lonely life.

The children in the corner throwing their fits,
Whether he, whether she, whether the weather permits,
For the game of chance, that rules our fate,
Better fortune, better hope to god you can’t complain.

And where ever, whenever, however you think of me,
Sing the song dedicated to my broken memory,
Allow the passion to overwhelm your crumbling core,
And lift your burdens off, and lay them in front of my door. Oh, lord.

Seeing our creations falling to the ground,
Burning bridges, cutting lifelines, to the thundering sound,
Of a moment dead, of an era gone,
Singing softly, shaking coldly, to the beat of a drum.


I’ve tried too many times to make a pass at you,
My will is tired, having run through the slew,
Of cold shoulders and the frozen gaze,
I thought I knew you but to me this is a foreign place.

Left behind, my feet are falling under me,
Aching, breaking, with creaking weariness they scream,
To keep it up, son, you’ve almost got her now,
To take a leap of faith on one night on the town.

Well, finally, I’m glad that I soldiered on,
Without her, I’m never sure, what I’d be if she’s gone,
My beauty in this beholder’s eye,
For hours upon hours my mind rests on her, oh my.

Now leave it alone, abandoned to the wind,
Disregard our former feelings or whatever we’ve been,
Before our unforgettable fall from grace,
Rushing water, brushing against my face.

Just leave me to die, leave me on my own,
If you can’t stand my presence, if you feel so alone,
Then even my love cannot bring you back,
From your life so broken that you’ll never know what you lack,

Is something you cannot touch,
God damn it, I thought that it was obvious,
But apparently, I’ll just have to show you 
That what you don’t know is something that you’ll have to do, eventually,

Eventually, you’ll know exactly what I mean,
When you’re screaming alone in the frozen wastes,
Of solitude and desperation, for heaven’s sake.

X2
And where ever, whenever, however you think of me,
Sing the song dedicated to my broken memory,
Allow the passion to overwhelm your crumbling core,
And lift your burdens off, and lay them in front of my door.


Beholder

Keys played by Nick Picarella

Mixed by Max Black

11/17/13: New cover art.

 In a small town of lower Louisiana you were,
Just another southern belle, just another soul to sell,
By chance and circumstance, I saw you outside,
Under the golden sun, the scene of summertime,

And now you know the will of the northerner way,
The desires running around, try to catch em you say,
Screaming on the floor about your pathetic life,
Of golden sun room drinking, of southern comfort, but I’m dry,

But what’s a metaphor for my northerner’s style,
Machinery on the bastion, grinning with the devil’s smile,
Your gentle sundress flowing in the evening breeze,
The wedding ring on the balcony, rusting with terrible ease,

Create a motive, patch together a back story,
In debt to your horrible suitors and your family,
I thought that I might be able to save you from,
Your decaying windowsill, back to where you belong,

Now call it quits, because it’s all been said and done,
Just forget about me and the beautiful songs I’ve sung.
But my voice will linger in every word you hear,
Spoken of the north and the things they fear.

Well get it together cuz I need to know,
How to treat your right, how to work your flow.
But I’m about to meet my maker and he’ll ask me,
How my time was and how it finally feels to be free.

How about you forget, how about you deny,
Every knowing me and continue to carry on with your lies.
However, it is easier said than done,
When you think it’s over, when you think you’ve won.
But in the end only God can judge you,
For all of the pain that you’ve caused, thinking you’d escaped into the blue.


Ember

Recorded by Max Black

Across the grey expanse of time,
In other worlds with other minds,
A crumbling waste, a rocky shore,
A burning tree, and little more.

A verdant wood beyond the sea,
A hidden altar behind the trees,
A shadow crossing the cobbled way,
A dampened April, a misty May.

The emerald moss clinging to the wall,
Breaking apart the solemn grey,
A flower blossoms on the hanging vine,
Memories you wish were swept away,

The land that’s neither true nor false,
With secrets placed just out of reach,
And slowly we fall down and down,
Into the abyss, into the breach.

But who really cares,
Who could ever count,
All the crying children,
Running and screaming about.

You see, you never cared,
You never should’ve lied,
But forget about it
Weeping and denying your crimes.

Waging a war you know you’ll never win,
Disregarding all the men and women in the way,
Of what you’ve done, of whom you’ve been,
To take another breath, to fight to live another day.

Let the rain fall down on your broken bones,
Washing away the blood and showing me what you really know,
How you know that we’re not what we used to be,
You should’ve told me but who cares about your philosophy.

Breaking ties with everyone you used to know,
Veiling yourself in shining garbs of golden lies,
Put your ego up on the pedestal,
Just to see it fall, just to see it fade in time.


You’ve only ever lived the life of luxury,
Singing songs of your false superiority,
But your hour has come, and you surely know,
The frozen bell is tolling for you, oh no.

But who really cares,
Who could ever count,
All the crying children,
Running and screaming about.

You see, you never cared,
You never should’ve lied,
But forget about it
Weeping and denying your crimes.

Crimes

An acoustic cover of the first half of Gone for Good by the Shins.

Gone For Good - The Shins (Cover)

Home Star (Rough)

Lost In Literature

A quickly-made cover of Dig Up the Dead by Mansions

Dig Up The Dead (Cover)

heart in hand ep. 1 draft

A podcast about intimacy and how to navigate it!

On this episode, we'll be talking about how our concepts of intimacy change from childhood to adulthood. Along the way, we'll describe how our views are affected by our parents, our friends, and pop culture.

Heart In Hand, Ep. 1

On this episode, we'll be taking a look at how our personal definitions of intimacy change throughout our lives. I took some time to interview my friend Anna Shaw, and how her upbringing has affected how she approach relationships both romantic and platonic.

cjarani