"Placeholders"

I always thought by the time I turned 24
I'd have my own neglected lawn
And my own front door
A no soliciting sign for the world to ignore
And a key under the mat for whenever you get bored

And I'd keep the place warm
Just how you like
73, a cold chai and 3 cubes of ice
In that kitty cat mug that we'd win at the fair
The one that matches the band you'd always wear in your hair

In the picture frames
Are placeholders
Memories to make
A place to hold her
This place
Displayed
Displaced
Remains
Remain
Stock photos
We were meant to replace

I always thought by the time I turned 34
We'd have a white picket fence
Around vows that we swore
A senior dog we'd adopt that reminds you of yours
And a 2 year old demon for us to endure

Tax papers on the table
Loads of laundry left to fold
Pieces of some puzzle scattered on the wooden floor
Our hours devoured, won't get back anymore
We'd forgotten what peace is
But wouldn't trade it for the world

Just look at their faces
See the joy in their eyes
That couldn't possibly be real life
We'd scoff at clichés
But you'd look at them and say
That could be us someday

In the picture frames
Our placeholders
Is where I'll stay
Until I stop getting older
This place
Will never be that way

Placeholders

"Maybe"

Took a dive into the bay
On the way to Monterey
And it was never part of the plan
Like losing hope
When I held her hands
And I saw her merge in the sea
And I felt the urgency
Watched the waves wash away
Her emergency

And I want to be happy
But I need to be true
Do I still taste the honey?
After all these years, I fear
Maybe I do

Trust in never knowing
Resting, crescent light
Levy fate on the woes
In all of those vagrant miles
Dust in wary motions
Destined, errant crown
No, you can't build a home
In someone else's house

And I want to be happy
But I need to be true
Do I still taste the honey?
After all these years, I fear
Maybe I do

Think I'm running out of time
Enigmatic as the tides
She kept her eyes on the horizon
Constant notions haunt the nights

And I want to be happy
But I need to be true
Do I still taste the honey?
After all these years, my dear
I do

Maybe

"Mud"
"Let the past stay in the past"
Or so, I once heard them say
Maybe I should've listened
Maybe I should've stayed away
But to me, you were like the ocean
And I was drowning in dirt
And I'd rather drink in your poison
And wager my life with yours
Am I a fool?
But you begged
Heard you plead
"Don't you leave me here on my own"
Watched you crawl
On your knees
And miss messages on your phone
We compromised our wrongs and rights
With your claws covered in blood
You said, "You're welcome to come in"
"But you'll never be enough"
And how you cope when you're alone
Self medicating your vacancies
By sinking another soul
No, I'm no fool
Time may heal all wounds
And buried in mud be our proof
These scars grow weary and rotten
But you won't be my tomb

Placeholders (Acoustic)

12/24/2015

Weezer

"The Christmas Song"

You told me you would be here by my side
Warming my heart on this cold winter's night
Here I sit waiting beside the tree all by myself

You told me you would move heaven and earth
Cheering my spirits with laughter and mirth
Here I sit waiting beside the tree all by myself

Oh, could you ever know how much I care?
Could you ever know that out somewhere
There's a boy who really hurts?

Since I found you
I found a girl
I found a thorn
I found a queen
Now I am warm

Oh, could you ever know how much I care?
Could you ever know that out somewhere
There's a boy who really hurts?

Since I found you
I found a girl
I found a thorn
I found a queen
Now I am warm

You told me you would bring presents and treats
Cheering my spirits with homemade sweet meats
Here I sit waiting beside the tree all by myself

Here I sit waiting beside the tree all by myself 

The Christmas Song (Weezer - Cover)

1/6/2016


"All My Little Words"

You are a splendid butterfly
It is your wings that make you beautiful
And I could make you fly away
But I could never make you stay

You said you were in love with me
Both of us know that that's impossible
And I could make you rue the day
But I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words

Now that you've made me want to die
You tell me that you're unboyfriendable
And I could make you pay and pay
But I could never make you stay

Not for all the tea in China
Not if I could sing like a bird
Not for all North Carolina
Not for all my little words
Not if I could write for you
The sweetest song you ever heard
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words
It doesn't matter what I'll do
Not for all my little words 

All My Little Words (Cover)

"Sometime Around Midnight"

And it starts
Sometime around midnight
Or at least that's when you lose yourself
For a minute or two

As you stand
Under the bar lights
And the band plays some song about forgetting yourself for a while
And the piano's this melancholy soundtrack to her smile
And that white dress she's wearing, you haven't seen her
For a while

But you know
That she's watching
She's laughing, she's turning
She's holding her tonic like a cross
The room suddenly spinning, she walks up and asks how you are
So you can smell her perfume
You can see her lying naked in your arms

And so there's a change
In your emotions
And all of these memories come rushing like feral waves to your mind
Of the curl of your bodies, like two perfect circles entwined
And you feel hopeless, and homeless, and lost in the haze of the wine

Then she leaves
With someone you don't know
But she makes sure you saw her, she looks right at you and bolts
As she walks out the door
Your blood boiling, your stomach in ropes
And then your friends say "What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Then you walk
Under the streetlights
And you're too drunk to notice that everyone is staring at you
You just don't care what you look like
The world is falling around you

You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her
You just have to see her

You know that she'll break you in two 

Sometime Around Midnight (The Airborne Toxic Event - Cover)

"Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis

Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd never been
But all the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away

So I'll start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside, summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace
Take that look from off your face
You ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away, "But don't look back in anger," I heard you say

Take me to the place where you go
Where nobody knows if it's night or day
Please don't put your life in the hands
Of a Rock 'n' Roll band
Who'll throw it all away

Gonna start a revolution from my bed
'Cause you said the brains I had went to my head
Step outside 'cause summertime's in bloom
Stand up beside the fireplace, take that look from off your face
'Cause you ain't ever gonna burn my heart out

And so Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
"But don't look back in anger," I heard you say

So Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
"But don't look back in anger," I heard you say

So Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as she's walking on by
My soul slides away
"But don't look back in anger, don't look back in anger."
I heard you say, "at least not today." 

Don't Look Back In Anger (Oasis - Cover)

"Open All Night"

I'm goin' back to New York City
I just can't wait no more for you
I got so lonely, sold what you gave me
'Cept that raincoat, the famous blue

And I don't need time to think about it
I don't let reminders get me down like before
But you know I used to know you
Back when local bars and broken hearts were home, and we were open all night long

Maybe I'll go out Chicago
Ain't that where the blues belong?
I heard you came by, shook up by the radio
Somethin' about the topback, wayfarers on

But I don't need time to think about it
I don't let reminders get me down like before
But you know I used to know you
Back when local bars and broken hearts were home, and we were open all night long

And all this must've been comin' a long, long time, 29 years of nerves on fire
Nobody came and nobody saw, made a wreck of myself with the headlights on
Worked these hands straight down the bone, carried the weight until the weight took over
Ended up standing at a fork in the road with you

But I don't need time to think about it
I don't let reminders get me down like before
But you know I used to know you
Back when local bars and your crooked heart was my home, mmhmm...

And I will never know the town where you finally settled down
With the top back on a Cadillac and your sunglasses on
And you can't make me whole, I have to find that on my own
But I held you, babe, a long, long time ago, and we were open all night long 

Open All Night (Brian Fallon Cover)


"Painkillers"

Feel you move through this crowded room
And I catch myself like a spell fallen under you
I've been here before
Watching the wheels go round

Everybody that I've ever known
They just ache all night and they wake up alone
Yeah, we wait in the dark
For something to put us to sleep

And, oh, my dear, you never know how
'Til the things you've done come and run you down

And we want love like it was a drug
All we wanted was a little relief
And every heart I held in between
They were painkillers to me
They were painkillers to me

And could you be to me a love supreme?
Cause we wait out this life just to hold on to anything
Cause most of the sparks are just
Sweet little cherry bombs

But oh my dear don't make a sound
'Till somebody burns you and spits you out

And we want love like it was a drug
All we wanted was a little relief
And every heart I held in between
They were painkillers to me
They were painkillers to me

Use me up!
Use me up!
Yeah and I'll be enough
Come and use me up
Use me up!
Oh don't you love the way I drag you down?
Ain't that enough for you now?

Don't you want love like it was a drug?
Yea don't you want a little relief?
From every heart I held in between
They were painkillers to me
They were painkillers to me

And we want love like it was a drug
Yeah all we wanted was a little relief
And every heart I held in between
They were painkillers to me
They were painkillers to me
Come get your painkillers from me 

Painkillers (Brian Fallon - Cover)

"Orange"
By Christian Valiente

As the sky turns orange
As the sun falls into the ground
I never felt so foreign
I never felt so lost in the sounds
Of the waters crashing on the rocks down under my feet
I feel myself lose traction
And all the colors crumbling
They're crumbling

And I just can't keep from falling down

"Orange" By Christian Valiente [Original]

"Feign Melody" By Christian Valiente

Feign Melody
Say the things I cannot speak
Lie in the night
Wander aimlessly
Til I fall asleep
Candlelight
Lingering
Silence so sweet, solemn, divine
Of a love that never comes to be

Time cauterize me
I can't keep with the night
I've fallen too deep
Broken
Buried
My vacant heart surrendering

But how can I go on to find
The will behind my jaded eyes
When everything I thought to be
Has taught to me that real isn't
Write the songs to right the wrongs
To feel the things that won't belong
To understand the cruel demands
Of life and love and fear in the night
How can I when my world keeps breaking?
How can I carry on?

"Feign Melody" (Original)

"Streaks" by Christian Valiente [Recorded by Ray Casarez]
https://soundcloud.com/raycasarezmusic

Streaks of red and yellow temporarily relieve
A hundred thousand broken white lines
Dancing underneath my feet
Oh sweet maladies
Won't you please leave me alone?

Shattered diamond rings illuminates the gravel sky
Reflecting every single drop of hope that's fallen from my eyes
Surrendering to melodies
Surrounding me
The subtleties atone

The sounds send shivers through my bones
Somehow
Somehow they know

The sounds send shivers through my bones
Somehow
Somehow they know
The sounds defined on my own
Somehow
Somehow they know

"Streaks" [Original]

"It is What it is" by Christian Valiente
Mixed & Mastered by Ray Casarez

No, I ain't no masochist
I remember you once called me that one day
But, I'll gladly take the pain that you gave that remains
And make myself a melody with harmonies of memories that harmed me and armed me with a false sense of faith

And you are not right for my soul
But I can't seem to let you go
I'd swallow my pride
To see you tonight

But you are not right for my soul
And I can't seem to let you go
I wish I had known
Before I tried to make you my home

Christian Valiente

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