this song, especially the part where the singer says "no reasons left to stay alive", reminds me of trans people in states such as Florida where it's illegal to help them transition to the gender they feel that they are, and it's appalling. trans

where is he? Well hes writting a book XD (supernatrual anyone?)

Mental illness is not an excuse. Those who struggle with Anxiety, Depression, Schizophrenia, PTSD, OCD or any mental disorder are not pretending to suffer just because they are desperate for attention.  * Read more below

Raise your voice with us. Speak out against mental health stigma. If you feel courageous enough, share your story of your fight with mental illness in the comments. You never know who might need to hear it. If you feel like ending it all, do not be afraid to ask for help. Remember, "You will live to tell your story." National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:  1-800-273-8255

Lyrics

Shaking hands, cannot catch my breath,
It’s 3am and I’m scared to death,
My darkest side, has come alive…

Can’t hide the hell I live in every day,
You say its just a phase, I’ll be okay,
What you can’t feel, must not be real…

I wear my heart here on my sleeve,
But you can’t see, no one sees….

This is killing me, I can barely breathe,
No one knows what is inside of me,
Too late to fit in, don’t you dare pretend,
You know what it’s like, to watch the world outside,
While you’re buried alive…

Six feet under still no one can hear,
My cry for help falling on deaf ears,
So desperate for, your attention whore…

Tell me why anyone would pretend,
And choose a life they would want to end
And ever feed, this anxiety…

Here on the surface everything seems fine,
But here beneath my skin I’m running out of time…


This is killing me, I can barely breathe,
No one knows what is inside of me,
Too late to fit in, don’t you dare pretend,
You know what it’s like, to watch the world outside,
While you’re buried alive…

Faceless I've been paralyzed, 
But I won’t be silent one more day,
I've come too far to say I'm sorry,
I will live, to tell my story…

This is killing me, I can barely breathe,
No one know, no one knows…
Too late to fit in, don’t you dare pretend,
You know what it’s like, to watch the world outside,
While you’re buried alive…

This is killing me, I can barely breathe,
No one knows, no one knows me…

Buried Alive

We live in a society that is quick to condemn those who look, think, and act differently than we do. We must stop demonizing what we do not understand. Our new single "15 Minutes of Fame," takes you inside the mind of someone experiencing suicidal thoughts. Help us fight mental illness stigma by sharing this video with your family and friends.

©2017 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved

Lyrics:

Do you know what it’s like, just to crawl through your life,  
Like a ghost, like a ghost… 
I have beauty and rage, full of love, full of pain, 
That no one knows, no one knows… 
 
So I, wrote a letter today, wrote in blood just to say, 
I can’t take this one more day! 
 
Far away, there’s a place, 
Where the lonely go, when there’s no way home, 
No one knows, no one cares, 
To know who I am, so just take me there… 
Now I have nothing left, and I am scared to death, 
Will they remember me, hanging my noose this week, 
Throw it all away, if I, throw it all, all away, 
For 15 Minutes of Fame… 
 
Do you know how it feels, no control of the wheel, 
I am lost, oh so lost… 
Don’t you call me a freak, I don’t choose to be weak, 
Holocaust, I’m your holocaust… 
 
In my last and final will, I will not be standing still, 
For once I will finally be, someone worth remembering… 
 
Far away, there’s a place, 
Where the lonely go, when there’s no way home, 
No one knows, no one cares, 
To know who I am, so just take me there… 
Now I have nothing left, and I am scared to death, 
Will they remember me, hanging my noose this week, 
Throw it all away, if I, throw it all, all away, 
For 15 Minutes of Fame… 
 
Was I just born to be broken, is this the life I deserve, 
To have a voice not worth hearing, tell me is it so absurd? 
To want my moment of glory, even if it costs me my soul, 
A heart condemned, that never was known… 
 
Far away, there’s a place, 
Where the lonely go, when there’s no way home, 
No one knows, no one cares, 
To know who I am, so just take me there… 
Now I have nothing left, and I am scared to death, 
Will they remember me, hanging my noose this week, 
Throw it all away, if I, throw it all, all away, 
For 15 Minutes of Fame…

15 Minutes of Fame

On January 27th, 2017, 8-year-old Gabriel Taye hung himself after enduring weeks of relentless bullying at his school. Bullies are cowards that crave attention and social validation. No matter how weak you may feel if you stand up to them, you take their power away.

©2017 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved



Lyrics:

Just another day on the front line
forced to apologize
for being who I am but you better understand
I'm taking back all this wasted time
feeling like a landmine
You know I like it rough
I'm feeling dangerous

I've been hit flip the switch
I'm done swallowing your cyanide
Somethings snapped so watch your step
Now I'm ready to ignite

Maybe I'm a misfit maybe I'm a no one
push me to the dirt ya the one you always spit on
I am not worthless 
I don't deserve this
No I will not take this
Wont be faceless now is the time to say it
You better bite your tongue
I'm about to come undone
Now my moment is here I'm not the only one
Singing maybe I'll fight maybe when I'm older
But if I face you now maybe I'm a soldier

Insecurity personified bully born to run and hide
You take your sticks and stones cut me down to the bone
You better run, run save yourself 
swear I'll be a living hell 
My scarlet letters see, I wear it on my sleeve

Lunatic I'm so sick of your self righteous hypocrisy
I wont run
I wont hide
I wont be a casualty

Maybe I'm a misfit maybe I'm a no one
push me to the dirt ya the one you always spit on
I am not worthless 
I don't deserve this
No I will not take this
Wont be faceless now is the time to say it
You better bite your tongue
I'm about to come undone
Now my moment is here I'm not the only one
Singing maybe I'll fight maybe when I'm older
But if I face you now maybe I'm a soldier

Now I'm breaking my silence
I wont sit here and take this
I'd rather be dead 
Than surrender and live like a tragedy 
I wont be your tragedy
 
Maybe I'm a misfit maybe I'm a no one
push me to the dirt ya the one you always spit on
I am not worthless 
I don't deserve this
No I will not take this
Wont be faceless now is the time to say it
You better bite your tongue
I'm about to come undone
Now my moment is here I'm not the only one
Singing maybe I'll fight maybe when I'm older
But if I face you now maybe I'm a soldier
  
I am an army of one
I am an army of one
I am an army of one
I am an army of one...

Soldier

The #metoo movement has inspired us to share the story of someone we loved and lost in our new song Caroline. It is nearly impossible to explain what it is like to live with PTSD. Nearly 1/4 of women will experience some form of domestic violence in their lives, and we are determined to help them have the courage to speak up. Don't be afraid. You are not alone.

©2017 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved


Lyrics:

She's a light, smothered in endless night. A fading flame, struggling just to survive...

Born into constant betrayal always set up to fail, call me cynical, but I must know, what keeps her alive, what keeps her alive?

She won't open her mouth til we open our eyes and see this cross she has borne all along, will this laughter and scorn turn to hearts ever torn, when she's dead and gone?

How far from heaven, did she fall? With broken wings, she barely crawls, no reasons left to stay alive, If there's a God, where's he tonight? For Caroline 

Every day, a nightmare she must relive, no more love, what she's never known no she never can give

Are we the cuts on her wrist that we cannot forgive, is ignorance bliss? Is ignorance bliss? 

Will we come to the day where we find her alone and there's nothing left of her to save? She just wanted a place and we got in the way, what a shame! 

How far from heaven, did she fall? With broken wings, she barely crawls, no reasons left to stay alive, If there's a God, where's he tonight? For Caroline 

How far from heaven, did she fall? With broken wings, she barely crawls, no reasons left to stay alive, If there's a God, where's he tonight? For Caroline 

If there's a God, where's he tonight? For Caroline
For Caroline
For Caroline
For Caroline
For Caroline

Caroline

After reading so many heartfelt messages from fans over the past few months, we wished we could somehow stand by the side of every single one of them. Unfortunately, that's not possible, so we wrote a song instead.  For those of you who have reached out to us, this is what we wish to say to you.

©2018 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved
All songs on this channel are copyrighted by law. Any use of Citizen Soldier LLC's content is strictly prohibited unless authorized by Citizen Soldier LLC.

Lyrics:

Have you ever felt lost
 like you don’t matter at all
 like you were born just to be scared

All this fear deep inside 
does it burn to the surface leaving you gasping for air

Now you’re walking alone 
it’s all that you’ve ever known 
so sick of being the one betrayed

If you just take one more chance if you just open your eyes you’ll find the purpose in your pain

Oh I know 
there is purpose in your pain

Do you feel already dead 
like you have no reasons left standing on the edge 
and finally looking down

Like a candle in the night 
fighting just to stay alive 
I know you still can’t see 
but hold onto me 
you will be found

Now the pulse of your heart 
is it just way too heavy 
does the way to the world 
hold you down

Is the world celebrating 
while you’re there suffocating 
no shred of sympathy 
to be found

Now your face down in the dirt you think it’s what you deserve but even when this life is cold

You’ve got to be strong somehow rise from the dust 
your story needs to be told

You will be found 
you will be saved
 just hear me now 
I felt the same 
you will be broken 
but never to pieces 
keep holding on 
there’s always a reason

Found

Our new single "First Blood" is now available everywhere and we're so excited to share it with you!

©2018 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved
All songs on this channel are copyrighted by law. Any use of Citizen Soldier LLC's content is strictly prohibited unless authorized by Citizen Soldier LLC.
Lyrics:

Set the stage a war is coming
And all our souls for sale
Drowning in your self-obsession
You’ll lead us all to hell…

Bridges built for centuries now
You’re quickly burning down
Divide with hatred feed their fear and
Soon you’ll wear your crown

Now is there nothing we can do or say? 
To take back this hell that we have made? 
No!

Violent like a hurricane
We’re breaking out of this cage
Cause everything we’ve fought for 
Is dead and gone 
No!
We’re mad as hell without a doubt
Now you’re screaming but there’s no way out
Now we have finally had enough
I will draw first blood

You sold your soul for fame and fortune
But still it’s not enough
A wolf that’s waiting in sheep’s clothing
A heart that knows no love

Is there a second chance for sanity?
Or are we to lost in our vanity?

Violent like a hurricane
We’re breaking out of this cage
Cause everything we’ve fought for 
Is dead and gone 
No!
We’re mad as hell without a doubt
Now you’re screaming but there’s no way out
Now we have finally had enough
I will draw first blood

Parasitic so sadistic 
Dying for your curtain call
Manipulated, bitter, jaded
So, take a bow 
You fooled us all
We see right through your masquerade 
Your secrets now you must avow
Fed on the week all of your life
It’s your turn to be the victim now

Violent like a hurricane
We’re breaking out of this cage
Cause everything we’ve fought for 
Is dead and gone 
No!
We’re mad as hell without a doubt
Now you’re screaming but there’s no way out
Now we have finally had enough
I will draw first blood

Violent like a hurricane
We’re breaking out of this cage
Cause everything we’ve fought for 
Is dead and gone 
No!
We’re mad as hell without a doubt
Now you’re screaming but there’s no way out
Now we have finally had enough
I will draw first blood

I will draw first blood

It’s your turn to be the victim now

First Blood

©2019 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved
All songs on this channel are copyrighted by law. Any use of Citizen Soldier LLC's content is strictly prohibited unless authorized by Citizen Soldier LLC.


Lyrics:
I cannot bite my tongue tonight,
You're the reason I'm sick inside,
You left me high and dry,
And I will never know why...

You packed your bags full of memories,
To this day I cannot believe you could take,
All we had, all we said,
And just leave it for dead...

So you better believe I'm still bitter,
Oh how dare you just leave me this way,
No I cannot erase what you left here,
No I, cannot run, will not hide, one more day,
You better believe I'm still jaded,
So to hell with you and your stupid games,
I'm so sick and tired of taking the high road,
Oh my, what a shame, guess I'll be, bitter right to the grave...

All these photographs now are up in flames,
But still I can't kill the memory, your every word it haunts me,
No matter how far I run, I still find myself coming undone,
I'm coming undone...

Chorus

No matter how much it hurts I just can't let you go,
I know you couldn't care less but I need you to know,
That I hate what you've made me now theres nothing to save I'm so bitter, bitter, bitter. 

Chorus

Right to the grave
Right to the grave
Right to the grave...
What a shame, guess I'll be, bitter right to the grave...

Bitter

There’s no personal hell quite like being told what you’re feeling isn’t real.

Recorded, produced, mixed, and mastered by Sahaj Ticotin in Los Angeles, California.
©2019 Citizen Soldier. All Rights Reserved

If These Scars Could Speak

Gone, but never forgotten. Nothing hurts more than holding onto the memory of a loved one gone too soon.

Relentless

Better Place

When life tries to break you, you decide to become either a victim or a survivor.

Unbreakable

"10 Years Out of Darkness" is a deeply personal and emotionally powerful song that chronicles the composer's journey of overcoming depression, social anxiety, and a debilitating nervous breakdown. The song's haunting melody and raw, honest lyrics paint a vivid picture of the darkness that once consumed the composer's life, the crippling fear and self-doubt that kept them trapped in their own home, afraid to breathe, afraid to live.
But the song is not just a testament to the depths of darkness; it's also a celebration of the courageous journey towards light. The chorus, with its cautious optimism and determined resilience, captures the essence of the long, hard road to recovery. It speaks to the gradual process of learning to be brave, to face the world step by step, day by night.
As the song progresses, it delves into the complex interplay of personal struggles and external circumstances that fueled the darkness - the disappointment in oneself, the lack of love and passion, the feeling of being stuck in a life that doesn't fit. But it also highlights the transformative power of self-awareness and the decision to change, to chase one's true dreams and create a life worth living.
The bridge acknowledges the ongoing nature of the struggle, the good days and the bad, but emphasizes the pride in the progress made and the determination to keep moving forward. The final verse and outro are a triumphant declaration of victory, a celebration of self-love and the courage to embrace the light fully.
Musically, the song's arrangement mirrors the emotional journey, with the instrumentation starting sparse and haunting, gradually building in intensity and complexity as the lyrics move from darkness to light. The final chorus and outro explode with cathartic energy, the full band driving home the message of hard-won freedom and unshakable resolve.
Ultimately, "10 Years Out of Darkness" is a song about the incredible resilience of the human spirit. It's a beacon of hope for anyone struggling with mental health issues, a reminder that no matter how dark the night, dawn will come. It's a testament to the power of perseverance, self-discovery, and the courage to step into one's own light.

Caroline

Citizen Soldier

Recent comments

Joe Blossom

Joe Blossom

rebel dude 🤘

paul french

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