I LIKE the competition, and I can deal with any heat!

City Vandals - Sweet & Sugar

City Vandals - Never Grow Old

This is me. No, not the suit with an overpaid haircut in the ridiculously expensive and nonergonomic leather chair. The guy in the background. The half-awake zombie pretending to write code, but is really just watching the elevator for Lucy to come through. It's "No-meetings-Wednesday" today. Company policy. That means that she will have that cute casual turtleneck on her, that she probably got from her grandmother 15 years ago. 09.30 on the dot. Every day, The elevator doors open. Aaaa, luuucyyy <3 ... <3 <3 Nonono, Timmy you fucking tool! Clean your glasses elsewhere and get out of the way!

Finally. There she walks. The best minute of the day.

Yuck. Here comes Donny again, the douche she's seeing. As always, trying to get her sneaking off with him into the printer room for some quick time action. Oops, Failed again Johnny, what a surprise! Yet another day with blue balls, low sales and zero high fives from the bros.

I hope you die on your way home... Shit, was I just thinking out loud? Uh yeah, I said, I like the new dye in your hair bro.

Where was I? Right the caveman in the cubical. Look at me. The glory of the second IT-boom. View and behold! Finally, we did it. We managed to bring our over consumption over to the internet! God bless the cloud! Let's write some shit code for a shit company whose sole existence is to sell shit products, no one needs, to shit people foolish enough to buy them. So much money in venture capital these days that you could get money for writing a community-based service that will tie your shoes. Only 19.99/month and someone will tie your shoes for you. Wherever you are!

The streets are in constant change. Megacorp is evicting people all over the city. Renovating old houses, industrial complexes and everything else they can get their hands on, turning them into more cubicles. There must be a million cubicles in this city alone by now. And they just keep on building more!
By day, this is my reality. Just another robot in I a box. But when nighttime fall upon the city, I put my cape on and become something else. I become... someone else.

This is just the first issue of my story, the montage, the hero in training for his big fight. Follow my journey from the beginning. Before I met the masters. Before, I've mastered my skills. Before I've found my path. Follow me all the way through dark industrial warehouses, into the depths of unknown jungles, over wide open fields, on yachts and speed boats, in fast cars and on airplanes, through Europe to Miami, Tokyo to Beijing, down to the darkest corner in the underground, out In the vast infinity of space.

Computer nerd by day, crowd saver by night. I am City Vandals!

Cityvandals