Live at San Fran 18/02/24

I didn't mean to say I loved you
I didn't mean to say I cared
I'm unprepared

Tears in my eyes, but safe from falling
I realised I wanted you the most
I wanted to be close

But the more that I run, the more that I hide
I feel like I am drowning on the inside
The more that I cry, the more that I know
I feel like I am burning
There's nowhere to go.

Leave me behind, I won't forget you
Right out of mind, I won't forget your name
It will remain

Now that you know, I cannot see you
Won't let you go, I will not fall apart
There goes my heart

But the more that I run, the more that I hide
I feel like I am drowning on the inside
The more that I cry, the more that I know
I feel like I am burning
There's nowhere to go.

Well you know me now
And I'm off the ground
But I will not bow to you
And these tears won't dry
And now you know why
But I still won't bow to you

'Cause the more that I run, the more that I hide
I feel like I am drowning on the inside
The more that I cry, the more that I know
I feel like I am burning there's nowhere to go...

I didn't mean to say I loved you
I didn't mean to say I cared...

I Didn't Mean ft. Ben Cipolla

Under the silence
Pockets of dead and buried air
Cause a sudden subsidence
All the realities laid bare

Like how rabbits burrow into a hillside

Talking politely
Watching you stumble through the wood
While I try to tread lightly
Doubting the ground on which we stood

While the rabbits burrow into the hillside
Weakening the soil until every slope is
At risk of coming down in a landslide
Couldn’t watch us fraying so I cut the rope

I find a stranger
Where I had seen a future friend
Now the past is in danger
Kill the beginning with the end

It’s like I never knew you
Watching how you accept defeat
And I start seeing through you
Into the cracks beneath your feet

Like how rabbits burrow into a hillside
Weakening the soil until every slope is
At risk of coming down in a landslide
Couldn’t watch us fraying so I cut the rope

While you watched us weakening from the sidelines
I gave you a weapon but you let it rust
Like the ring that never quite seemed to fit right
Left out on the counter while we gathered dust

And I just can’t bear to witness you backslide
Fall back into habits that I hoped you’d break
And my father tells me that it will take time

But will you take the time
Now that I’ve finally made my mind up not to wait

So I sit here looking up at the hillside
Did I have to bury you to set you free
I’m an excavator combing a dig site
Hoping to find beauty under the debris

Subsidence – Live at San Fran

I don’t know how to make you believe that it’s true
But I know what I want and I know that it’s you
And I meant what I told you
When you want to be held 
I will be there to hold you

I don’t know how to make you believe what I say
But I’ll be there the moment you ask me to stay
Until then I will wait here
With my heart in my hands
While you tell me we can’t build a castle on sand

I know I can’t stop you overthinking
Holding to the shore for fear of sinking
You can build your castles and your moats
But I will fold a thousand paper boats
And sail you down the river to the sea

I don’t know how to make you believe that it’s real
But I know who I am and I know how I feel
When you’re ready to trust me
I’ll be outside the door
Saying, “Lover, it’s just me.” 

I don’t know how to make you believe that it’s true
Sometimes things fall apart and sometimes they fall through
You don’t know till you’re falling
If they’ll fall into place
But I’ll be there to catch you
Just in case

I know I can’t stop you overthinking
Holding to the shore for fear of sinking
You can build your castles and your moats
But I will fold a thousand paper boats
And sail you down the river to the sea

It’s just me
It’s just me
It’s just me
Mm…
It’s just me
It’s just me
Mm…

I can show you the ocean and tell you it’s blue
But I know I can’t make you believe that it’s true

A Thousand Paper Boats – Live at San Fran

Look away, keep my shoulder steady
I don't need a helping hand.

I can't stay; my heart isn't ready
for another breaking round.

'Cause I've been here before, knocked on love's door
And what purpose does that serve?
See I've gazed at it's light , love shines too bright
For mere mortals to observe

But if you show me how
If you make me brave
Give me more than promises, 'cause I am so afraid
And if you help me learn
If you make me stay
Maybe I could learn, learn to love again

I'll learn to love again...

Don't help out, don't stitch me back together
I'm not broken in my mind
But my heart - well that's another matter
I can't vouch for what you'll find

'Cause I gave it away, and that day
I can't forget
It got thrown in my face, yes, that's love's grace
But it's not over yet

If you show me how
If you make me brave
Give me more than promises, 'cause I am so afraid
If you help me learn
If you make me stay
Maybe I could learn, learn to love again

Brave Acoustic

Well I'd been playing around
Been saving a pound or two to fly from this town
And you had a grin
For reeling me in and slowing dragging me down
So I know it's unkind, but you're out of my mind.

Well I'd been playing it chaste
Shirts down to my waist until I saw your sweet face
I'm playing it cool
But I was a fool who put her talent to waste
So I know it's unkind, but you're out of my mind.

And it's a shame to forfeit success
But even the best of us are tested by the taste of the salt in our skin
And it's a shame to look in your eyes
And spiral wildly out of time
But when it comes down to heaven or sin

While you're blinded by the sunshine
I'll be basking in the sweet, sweet glow of the night
And while I'm dancing in the daylight
You'll be staring at the stars, only finding my eyes
'Cause I'll leave you behind

I'd been taking a break
Been making mistakes and singing of love that I faked
The look in your eye
Was only a lie that told of trouble you'd make
So I know it's unfair, but I'm leaving you there.

'Cause it's a shame to forfeit success
But even the best of us are tested by the taste of the salt in our skin
And it's a shame to look in your eyes
And spiral wildly out of time
But when it comes down to heaven or sin

While you're blinded by the sunshine
I'll be basking in the sweet, sweet glow of the night
And while I'm dancing in the daylight
You'll be staring at the stars, only finding my eyes
'Cause I'll leave you behind

And I'm leaving what you gave me
'Cause I know you'll only hold me back
And I know that 'cause you told me
I should cut you some slack

While you're blinded by the sunshine
I'll be basking in the sweet, sweet glow of the night
And while I'm dancing in the daylight
You'll be staring at the stars, only finding my eyes

Blinded by the sunshine
I'll be basking in the sweet, sweet glow of the night
And while I'm dancing in the daylight
You'll be staring at the stars, only finding my eyes
'Cause I'll leave you behind

And I know it's unkind...

Leave You Behind - Demo

Pressure Blind - Teaser

When I blot my lips I leave candy floss smears
Let’s talk about the weather
like I didn’t fight my own reflection just to get here
Did you, too? Did you, too? Every little thing I’ve learned of you says no; it says no.

“Can I walk you home?”
There’s weight in the air
There’s a want in your stare and I know that I can’t feed it
There’s a glow in your eyes
And I feel for your lies like a diver gone pressure-blind

When I clench my fists I leave crescent moon shapes
Let’s talk about your passions
and I’ll make a home for you inside the breaths that I take
Will you, too? Will you, too? Every little thing I’ve learned of you says no; it says no.

“Can I walk you home?”
There’s a weight in the air
There’s a want in your stare and I know that I can’t feed it
There’s a glow in your eyes
And I feel for your lies like a diver gone pressure-blind

When you walk me home my held grin starts to ache
Let’s talk about the future
like the slightest mention doesn't go and make my hands shake
Do yours, too? Do yours, too? Every little thing I’ve learned of you says no; it says no.

“Can I walk you home?”
There’s a weight in the air
There’s a want in your stare and I know that I can’t feed it
There’s a glow in your eyes
And I feel for your lies like a diver gone pressure-blind

Lyrics by Clara van Wel and Eloise Sims

Pressure Blind

Hands tied, lips sealed, heart locked tight
Hide what you feel from the light
Whole words frozen in my chest
Silence chokes on my request

And even if I saw you and could tell you every single thing that’s in my head
I never could convey the way that being near you makes me see a world of red
I’m weighed like lead
with all the things I never said

As I’m freezing you arrive
I start melting in your light
And words come dripping from my mouth
Not the ones I figured out

And even if I saw you and could tell you every single thing that’s in my head
I never could convey the way that being near you makes me see a world of red
I’m weighed like lead
with all the things I never said

And even if I saw you and could tell you every single thing that’s in my head
I never could convey the way that being near you makes me see a world of red
I’m weighed like lead
with all the things I never said

We talk; I think hours pass
I’ve said nothing that will last

Hands Tied, Lips Sealed

"I don't think it's worth giving loving a go; we lost Paradise so long ago..."

Eden - Teaser

And now as the darkness caves into the dawn
You've got to admire the way that it's drawn
Celestial grace is a terrible thing
Watch it dancing in rhythms and rings
Rhythms and rings

Forget your instructions, forego your desires
You'll find them reflected in funeral pyres
while I stand deflecting, erecting a wall
soon the serpent; the garden; the fall 

So you can try to cup my hands in yours
but I should warn you
people have tried and tried
a thousand times before, before

I wanna say,
"Eden ain't got nothing on me,"
But I'm still so far from paradise
So darling if Eden's what you want this to be
Well then don't go taking my advice
So far from Eden

I think you'll remember it's Eve who fell first
And Adam for loving was free to do worse
I don't think it's worth giving loving a go
We lost paradise so long ago

So darling you can try to cup my hands in yours
But I should warn you
I've overflown their bounds
A thousand times before, before

I wanna say,
"Eden ain't got nothing on me,"
But I'm still so far from paradise
So darling if Eden's what you want this to be
Well then don't go taking my advice
So far from Eden

And ooh...
Now are we free to fall
And ooh...
We could have stood so tall
And ooh...
I won't push you away
Say what you want to say

'Cause Eden ain't got nothing on me
But I'm still so far from paradise
Eden's what you want this to be
Well then don't go taking my advice
So far from Eden

Eden - Single

Eden - rough demo

the wind is cold, my eyes are closing
down in the ground our love lies frozen
the sky is black, my eyes are pleading
down in the ground our love lies bleeding

and ooh
it burns me, you know, it burns me to let you go
and ooh
well it hurts me, you know, it hurts me to tell you so

well you can take this stone
and you can take it home
and you can take it far away
but darling if you go
you'd better take my soul
'cause i don't need it anyway

and that's what the broken-hearted say but i'll say it anyway

the wind has changed your eyes are haunting
down in the ground our love lies wanting
but i won't fade i'll keep on faking
you'll never know my heart is breaking

and ooh
it burns me, you know, it burns me to let you go
and ooh
well it hurts me, you know, it hurts me to tell you so

but you can take this stone
and you can take it home
and you can take it far away
but darling if you go
you'd better take my soul
'cause i don't need it anyway

and that's what the broken hearted say but i'll say it anyway

'cause our love, our love, our love lies bleeding
my love, my love, my love


But you can take this stone
and you can take it home
and you can take it far away
but darling if you go
you'd better take my soul
'cause i won't need it anyway

and that's what the broken hearted say but i'll say it anyway

what you are wanting, i am needing
down in the ground our love lies bleeding

All These Things Take Time

Our Love Lies Bleeding

he draws the blinds
and dares to look into her eyes
he knows he wants to say it right
it takes a little time

unsatisfied
they tow the line and waste the time
and silently they close their eyes
he'll say to her in time

will you stay with me
will you tell me all your fears
will we share a hundred years

they walk along
and tell themselves they're going strong
and even though the timing's wrong
he starts to sing her song

will you stay with me
will you tell me all your fears
will we share a hundred years
there's a world to see
but i've all i need right here
can we share a hundred years

i've a heart that beats
lean in close if you can't hear
can we share a hundred years

A Hundred Years - 2014 Demo

Clara van Wel is an award-winning musician, comedian, and writer known for their witty and thoughtful storytelling. From Sunday mornings at the Farmers’ Market to national television, they have captivated audiences for more than a decade. These days, Clara gigs regularly around Te Whanganui-a-Tara as a solo artist and with their alt-pop band Rocket Berry.
Dynamic, reflective, and lyrically astute, their music lends a theatrical slant to the confessional intimacy of folk. Previous praise includes: “not as good as Avril Lavigne” and “you look like the one in the boy band who reads”. They look forward to hearing your review.

Clara van Wel

Pinned to spotlight

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