I bought Ableton Live because it was cheap and I wanted to go a little overboard with it. I hope you like it.

lyrics

all of these parts of speech
I never figured out how to use them
nobody knows what they mean
they're all just liars lying better than you
we're all just liars lying better

you're always waiting for me
over and over 
you don't know how much that means

I think you know what I want to say 
so why does it matter if I can't say it

when you fall asleep I want to turn your alarms off so you forget to leave

without the noise I freeze
of course I love you
of course I love you

you've heard all this before
I know it sounds dumb but I really mean it 


of course

here's a fun one! dance if you feel like dancing!

alternate title: the north remembers
alternate alternate title: I can't believe in the 20 fucking seconds it was unaccounted for I managed to lose my iPod at the grocery store yesterday, how do I move forward without an iPod 
alternate alternate title: life is pain
alternative titel: leben ist schmerz 
alternative alternative titel: iPod, was hab ich getan?

lyrics

it's fall
the trees surrender
and the clouds that heard the last words of the light
it's cold
the trees remember
maybe my fever breaks tonight
I'll find a way around you
you are both a shortcut and a knot
I won't spend my days with abstractions of you
I keep thinking my hands are shaking but they're not

untitled 1

hey guys we're recording old songs and we're having a lot of fun, here it is, the new old song about an old place 

we'll show the rest soon, but hopefully you guys like this

~lyrics~

there's a guy who smokes at the corner of street
near the coffee shop I visit maybe once or twice a week
when he sees me he smiles, asks me how I'm holding up
I've grown to hate him

and down the block there's a hole in the road
and it's very hard to see
it gets bigger every summer
I think it's swallowing me
the same way it swallowed all of those guys 
who show up right before last call

I wanna go to the east coast
I wanna go to the pacific northwest 
yeah maybe I will go as far south as I can get
I just can't stay here
trapped in the middle of it all

when I walk north the best and most logical path
takes me right past your house
I wonder how long it will last
if we were all to disappear right now
how long would that house remain standing?

and when I leave or when I die there will be hundreds more like me
scratching at this place with such futility
like the guy always smoking on the corner
I hope oblivion  never calls him name

I wanna go to the east coast
I wanna go to the pacific northwest 
yeah maybe I will go as far south as I can get
I just can't stay here
stuck in the middle of it all
trapped in the middle of it all
smack dab in the middle of it all

405 (2017 demo)

oh man we should've slapped one of those awesome "parental advisory explicit content" stickers on the album cover because let me tell you, in this song we really let em have it 

- lyrics -

yesterday took a hard left turn
I know you wanna put that shit out behind you
but lie to me and this bridge will burn
finally 

everything you don't want to be 
made true by every goddamn reiteration 
I don't trust your eyes
no you don't share mine

is that really all you heard?
I tried my best to say more
come with me 

is that really all you see?
shadows and knives at the door
come with me
stay with me

I stumble out
vomit up my doubts
oh yeah I'm so much fucking fun at these parties
let's go out
I'm not ready to be home

I see the way that I imitate
you can be beautiful or you can be ugly
sit back down
there's nowhere for us to go

you're not who I want to be
but I've never loved someone more
come with me

this isn't where you thought you'd be
is this what we're settling for?
come with me
stay with me

bridge will burn

finding a balance is difficult in many aspects of life, such as, but not limited to: snowboarding, sharing your hopes and fears with others, skateboarding

~lyrics~

I've kept you so far away
your shapes would shimmer in the heat
I fall in love every day 
with every person that I meet

I've kept you so far away 
your shapes would shimmer in the heat
I fall in love every day
I fall in love

I fan my life on the floor
looking for something I can trade
It's hard to know what it's worth
it's hard to see what we have made

I've kept you so far away 
your shapes would shimmer in the heat
you opened up everyday
you opened up

I will try to give and take

shimmer in the heat

Prompt: a slug who covets a caterpillar (thanks, Eliot)

~lyrics~

imagine my relief when you started moving 
it had been a week and I was getting scared 
I could hardly speak 
you started emerging 
as this new glorious thing you had become in there 

your wings - they gathered strength 
you flew off into the distance 
I crawled up next to your shell 
I'm waiting here in your tree 
I marked the way that you left 
I'll follow you when I'm able 
this half done thing that I am is not all I will be 

I can wait 
I can wait 
it's okay 
I can wait

Volume One: Slugs

my coming transformation

Prompt: Non-Disclosure Agreements

~lyrics~

the year after you left 
(that is the term I guess I landed on) 
I bought several pieces of furniture 
I think you moved out west but I can't be sure 
it's been spiraling into a silhouette 
some bottled lightning escorted off the premises 
competing lenses to sort all this through 
fantasies of reaching out to you 

but I can't anymore 
no I can't anymore 
those forms we signed 
they were all legally binding 

on the streets of this dream I had 
you were a fire fighter fighting fires 
that looked a whole lot like people I knew 
we all agreed not to listen to you 
maybe they're braver out west 
I selfishly need this to be true 
none of my imaginary dialogues 
have broken through 

and they can't and they won't 
I don't deserve what I want 
I could've raised my voice 
instead we buried your findings 

and there's a paper with my name 
some signatures some quiet shame 
I made a choice 
and it was legally binding

Prompt: A Picture Of The Big Dipper Nick Sent Us

~lyrics~

mother's not one who would ask for a favor 
she's quick to give and she's loathe to take 
our mother wept on the banks of the river 
we set seven stones for mother's sake 

she had the strength the bear the weight and the drums of the river 
the burden of grief and of seven young sons 
there was love on the other side we couldn't give her 
so we laid her a path with these stones 
one by one 

but you're always careful 
you're wary of wishes 
sweet smelling lies that we'd all like to hear 
but mother, please hear us, there's no shame in comfort 
one stone at a time 
we will we always be here 
one by one

seven stones

a song about wanting something a little less than you want to deny someone else something

tabea on the cello, everybody!

~lyrics~

and if I die before I say I'm sorry
don't assume I am
come and see, I'm ripping out my sweet tooth
making room
building up bitter dams

and if I die before I say I love you 
don't assume I can
I'm not with you in any real way
at least I, I don't think I am, don't think I am, don't

I'd rather die before these open doorways
I'd rather smash some window panes
voyeurist, the thrill is gone in an instant
find myself behind the wheel again

but all of my friends 
they say "try and you'll see"
they say "it's really not hard"
they say "you got to believe"
those motherfuckers laughing at me
they will eventually
they will be, they will be down
they will be down here, too

until it's here I will be patient
I'll wait as long as I can
when it arrives I will be hungry
because I always am
yeah when your love it finally reaches me
like the light from a distant star
or you're a shadow that's always been tracing me
I'm never quite sure what you are
my head is spinning again and again and again

and if I die before I say I'm sorry
don't assume I am
come and see, I'm ripping out my sweet tooth
making room
building up bitter dams

and if I die before I say I love you 
don't assume I can
I'm not with you in any real way
at least I, I don't think I am, don't think I am, don't

Hunger (demo + tabea)

written on a wednesday
posted out of an intense need to just get something, anything done and out there on a friday

featuring Tabea on cello 
if you squint real hard right before the line "ruby, I have made you laugh" you can't hear Tabea plucking out the small cello part I wrote out, because A) I fucking buried it under all the muddy guitars and B) squinting does nothing to help one hear something, ya dingus 

~lyrics~ 

Ruby, what do you say
why don't we spend our long days
in one another's company
Ruby, tell me what you think

Ruby, I have made you laugh
and nothing ever makes you cry
I would never try to hurt you
and I could never change your mind

you can take your love to town
you can take it anywhere
I'll make our lives as easy as I can
Ruby, enough is in the air

Vows

Stefan on the drums. Thank you so much, Stefan.
Written for Variations On. 
A song about CD collections, putting too much weight on any one aspect of your life, and lunch breaks. 

~lyrics~

I woke up backwards
you had left for your work
my dreams went all sideways
old panic emerged
suddenly senseless
following crumbs
lost my connection
with where my rivers flow from
but I'm paid by the hour
so I don't call in sick
two minute shower
conjure light
bottle it
work through the lunch break
so that I can come home
forget that it's wednesday
sort through old shit alone
(throw it away. throw it away. throw it away. throw it away.)
I've got to the S's 
by the time you come in
so nice to see you 
where the hell have you been
if you don't need me
could you please let me go
suddenly desperate 
for the rivers I know
you know it's trying
you know I try
I know I love you
and some days I go blind

first pass

A recent recording we made in practice, one of the last recordings we ever made before awkwardly being shoved out of one practice room and into another. R.I.P. slightly more spacious practice room.

conor - keyboard and vocals
iñigo - guitar
jule - vocals
pierre - bass
stefan - drums
tabea - cello

Classic Brian

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