Art, Lyrics, Instruments and Vocals by Clerox

This love is a scale
Once youre up i am down
And the other way around
It spins around the whole time
In this whole town
Everywhere is our upside downwards
Backwards sidewards upwards down
In every corner there's a frown
And how you twitch the muscles
In the corners of your mouth
When i try to vomit out my soul
(im so tired)
Because i've been burnt out 
(i swear i am)
For far too long now
(its been too long too long)
And i can't keep on lying through my teeth
All those promises that i will never keep
Because i guess.. no wait .. I worry
That i really do not give a fuck 
But then again the scale
(i hate it  i hate it )
Swaps the the balance back to me
And i die just to see your face
And every word that you say
Makes me burst out in flames 
( i burn )
So that i can barely control myself
Barely stop myself 
For falling again for you
So i push and i scare you away
Force you to not stay
Until you disappear
Until i suddenly start to feel
That i need to hear
That your breath is near
Until I beg you to reappear
Just to fall asleep 
In a weird state of peace
And calm which is none
Because i am long gone
And fucking numb
To the feelings in my heart
That make me always act so smart
When I am really not
But I have to keep up
With my secret act
If I don't want to be caught
By eventually not 
Having one of my masks on
That hide my true face from 
Everyone so they can't see
My true form
That hides in the depths
Of my deepest despair
To hide my childish fear
Of accepting who I have become

This Love We Call A Scale

Art, Lyrics, Instruments and Vocals by Clerox

What good are emotions, if we are meant to survive ?
This life to then in the end, still wind up die ?
Truly death was never hard to accept
But being alive instead, scares the shit out of me

I met a girl with "omnia vincit amor" tattood on her arm
Even with her weeping red eyes she believed in these kind of lies
Oh how I wish that I could have her eyes instead of mine

And with this sore throat of my endless chronical fever and cold
I will scribble and sing these lies and these songs
Trying my best to cover the dirty truth on the ground like
All this falling leaves of lies and denials I walk upon
So no one will ever get to know or understand
I just try to work out and comprehend our cruel end

So I agree, I accept that I split this universe in half
But I still haven't found my home or place yet

These fictionesk characteres I hide in notebooks and walls
Born by ink to end up in an unseen white gallery
The secret chemo therapy for my kind of cancer
They are real, and it's killing me.

I can't even eat nearly as much as I would like to vomit every day now,
Now sell my bed for drugs
Because I have a toilet where I can rest my head every fucking cold night.
Because I have again become the god of porcelain and bruised knees.

The Ridiculous Half Of This Universe

Art, Lyrics, Instruments and Vocals by Clerox

I have been a mess, been drunk
Been weak, been strong
For way to long 

If I only could get, to where I want
Without a goal, without a start
Your pulse, your breathe, your heart

I'm not weak, I'm not strong
Not concious, nor drunk
I have built these caskets, in my mind
For every mask, that drove me blind
I burned every wall

That blocked me from, catching your fall
But you still fell, and fell so hard
That you broke my legs, and broke my arms
And for the record, my heart has been 
Abused
By people like you

Who appear for, a single second 
To leave again, another scar
How can you still wonder ?
About me being such a monster ?

And I still try , to figure out
Every step you made, every mistake
Every single breath, you've taken away
Out of my lungs
Out of me
You ripped it off my soul
To satisfy your needs
To calm your restless head
To make you feel less bad
About your fucking self
About your endless flames
You need every single fucking drop
From the fucking blood in my veins
So take it all away
So it doesn't have to bother me
Anymore

Thank You For The Polluted Air I Breathe

Art, Lyrics, Instruments and Vocals by Clerox

I will find my truest form, to deform, the form that it shaped me in
I will search my deepest soul, to engulf and evolve it inside me

Because for my self, I want to build a shelf, for all my breeds
For their self, I will give up on my self, until I start vanishing
For the abyss inside of me, I want to rebuild my cells, 

until I can see	


People   
People around me

Gliding on words, and ideologies, through this galaxies of dust
It's a time and a place, to set someone free,

but someone never means me   

Me  
Someone never means me

Now how have I ended here, what the fuck is wrong, with this whole town
Where everyone seems so busy, melting their fingertips, with portable tiny screens

With their pocket machines   

But now that it all comes to me, we are all now equally, digitally obese meat
Let's have our virtual feast  

Prosophobia   
You are scared shitless
By any kind of progress  

You won't believe, what I have done, to become this
How much of an agony it is
A feeling I will never miss 
A feeling

Someone Never Means Me

Art, Lyrics, Instruments and Vocals by Clerox

Since he was just a child
Things used to push him hard
From his sore throat
All the way down to his butt
So when he walks alone now
And he is breathing
The same cold air
That all those bigger people 
Pushed out of his tight lungs

Where can you still tell
That he was really save anymore ?


Well eventually I should have been prepared
For the very next gloomy day
When he whispered weeping
Trough that foggy mirror to me


I can't stack anymore coffins
In my vulnerable soul
Than I have already done
Countless times before
Times, and times, and times, before
Years and years and years ago

A Boy And His Many Murderers

Art,Lyrics,Instruments and Vocals by Clerox

And you live so many different li(f)es
That it became impossible by now
To predict any ending out of them all
You have become so frustrated by now
That you can't even tell the difference 
Of feeling up or down
You have become so illusionated by now
You can't even see what is happening around you now

All the miracles in your space
Now get devoured by the crystal stream
Of consequences by being lost in a dream

And all the people you encounter on the streets
They appear like mirrors to you
But there is no beauty in self reflection

Memento mori
You are not here to last
You are just a ghost 
A projection 
Of somebodies remaining past

Voice Act by : 11linda

A huge thanks to 11linda !!!
You are one amazing voice actor, thank you so much.