this song is about how sometimes I feel that I put so much effort in a relationship or friendship whatever - and in the end I just don’t recieve the same intensively of love at least that’s what I feel. and because of my personality it really messes with me. sooo friends wherever u at hmu :(

TREASURE

my cover of clairo's just for today. enjoy:)

just for today

an old cover of golden thing by cody simpson i did

Golden Thing

i wrote this song in 2017 i believe. when i was 16. i got to sing the original version of this song for my senior talent show in 2019. and i was really lucky to win first place. at the time, that was probably my biggest achievement. honestly it might still be. but i remember just winging the song and feeling for it in this recording and it just became so raw and personal. its no perfect. i had just started figuring out how to produce music. i still dont know. but i worked so hard on the vocals and trying to figure out how to fix the panned vocal on the left but i just couldnt figure it out. i like to listen to this version sometimes even now. so yeah this song has alot of meaning to me even if its not the original version.

stay in the light (2019 version)

i don’t want to vent to anyone
because i don’t want to waste their time with my emotional mind

cuz even if they try to reassure me it’s alright I know what others pity looks like

god damn I am depressed 
it kills me in my head
wish I could just stop the headaches I make myself instead 

god damn im insecure
I don’t deserve anything at all
see if u could see me the way I see myself u’d exit to the door

feb 16, 2023

sometimes I just overthink sometimes,
makes my head spin around in circles I don’t know why,
sometimes I get so overwhelmed,
and it makes me a little crazy to be around,
I just want to be normal if that’s a thing,
spending my time with friends laughing to the end,
But I always ruin it for myself
Cuz sometimes my head gets overwhelmed 

I want to get better 
I’m trying
It doesn’t look like much but
I’m alive aren’t 
I want to be free
I’m tired of being me
But I’m kinda stuck in this body for a while

I want to get better for my friends
Cuz they’re the best thing in my life at least in this moment 
I want to get better just to say, I am
But it never seems like I can
So if the world is waiting for me
I want to live more happily 
I’ll do it for myself
But really for my friends
Cuz to be honest I don’t really care for me at all
I love them so much more than anything
I know that it’s wrong and I should really look into it
But right now I don’t care,
I never really care
But in the back of my mind maybe I do a little

march 19, 2023

//june 28, 2021//

the sweet sweet word that she says,
takes me higher than any drug could give.
shes honey, shes honey that been said,
bittersweet, i bite my tongue cause i know its not enough.
to show how i feel, whatever it may be. 
but as least im real.

the sweetest words that she spoke,
consumes me enough to make me choke.
id drown & drown to taste it all.
shes the sweetest sound to come around.

shes honey, shes honey thats been said,
& i know that its all in my head
that i cant envision something more than you.

shes honey, shes honey thats been said, 
& i know that its all in my head,
i wish that i could be more like you
but at least i am real.

the sweetest words that she says,
takes me higher than any drug could ever give.
the sweet sweet words that she spoke,
consumes me yet i know its all a hoax.
its all a hoax.

cloudberryloft

Popular tracks