Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

Close out the light now
Keep the blinds down
Block out the sound now
Keep your head down

Everywhere you go
It's always gonna show
It will be your everything
And everyone you see
Will know it when you leave
It will be your everything

I don't mind that it's keeping me out of time
I've got a clock in my mind
And it still says I'm fine

Everywhere you look
Every little nook
Will seem far away

Blackened skyline
Make me feel alive

Blackened

Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

Remember, young and tired eyes
Every pattern
Another world, another sign
Remember, young and open mind
It's a pattern
Trace a life down the walls

Victorian Walls

Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

[anxiety]

Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

I want to see everything you know
I want to be everywhere you go
I don't know what I'd do without you

You'll always be in the air, in thought
You'll always be everywhere I'm not
I don't know what I'd do without you

Movement caught through open blinds
But all is still inside
Try to leave through open eyes
But all is still inside

I'll never see it, golden light
Warming the branches out of sight

A Small Bird

Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

Ocean and silence
And a space within it all
Over reliance
On a temporary wall

A glass room inside a sea in the mind
A great view if you don't need to breathe

Would I need it, if I knew you?
Could I really know you, in some time?
Give me time

Glass Room

[stillness]

Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

Cast yourself in moonlight
Blackened armor, shadow adorned
We both know it's fucking cold in there
But still you wear it as your own

Remember, you need to breathe
Remember, you need to sleep
Don't let it become the thing that you fear

Fight your best through all your life
But stillness reigns every time

Remember the golden tree
Remember the silver sea
I know they will always be in your dreams

Throw down your sword
Your crest will fall
Lay down your arms
It's over now

Crest/Fallen

[doubt]

Download here: cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/stillness-reigns

I see the Earth below
I feel the pulse slow
I sleep above the glow
I feel the blood flow

I hear the sea below
I feel the size grow
I bathe in silver glow
I live in tableau

Your eyes are full and open
Horizon growing clear

And I know you always will speak in tones
That will slip between the worlds I know
But I'll listen close when I'm all alone
And I'll try to match them with my own

As Above, Earth Below

Bonus track from the third Snowbeast Records Halloween Compilation: https://snowbeastrecords.bandcamp.com/album/halloween-compilation-no-3-rites

I am not the only one in here
I am not myself
I am fracturing, fracturing

Halloween Compilation No. 3: Rites

Bournemouth Rift

From the Puppy Teeth Records charity comp "GOOD FRIENDS VOL. 2: A Compilation For Planned Parenthood & The ACLU." Please consider donating if you can.

https://puppyteethrecords.bandcamp.com/album/good-friends-vol-2-a-compilation-for-planned-parenthood-the-aclu

Every moment of your life
Spent on the ocean floor
(Water at the door)
The sea is rising
We are losing shore
(It's seeping through the boards)

Cast in glimmering armor
Passed down the family line
(Duller every time)
Oh golden diver
You don’t fear the tides
(Though one day you might)

Distant, echoed and growing
Fractures that twist and bend
(Flooding in the den)
But you won't hear them
No you won't mend
(A coward in the end)

Better gather your shells now
Brace for the coming dawn
(Drowning on the lawn)
What are your pearls worth
When your home is gone

Don’t pull me under with you

GOOD FRIENDS VOL. 2: A Compilation For Planned Parenthood & The ACLU

Golden Diver

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

Some lanterns move in sequence
Each one another beacon, mapping out the path
But others hang in corners
Forgotten, falling over as the rest move on
Not in the right line, not even on time
And it feels like burning out before you rise

Your love is always in there
Your heart is not a cinder, to be burned away
So try and pick yourself up
I know you’re feeling fucked up, ‘cause I feel it too
What looks like confidence is really self-defense
And it’s nothing like your honest hesitance

We’re all vessels upon a vessel
And even celestial bodies tremble
So don’t you worry at all

Your spirit burns so bright,
Sometimes it’s hard to look right in your eyes
That doesn’t mean I’m not on your side

You’ll find the right place, just a little bit late
But we’re sure as hell still gonna celebrate

You always glow so bright,
Sometimes it’s hard to see right, but it’s fine
I love you like the sun in the sky

You Are Not the Only Light

Sun Festival

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

here’s a pressure in my head
Or a looming sense of dread
Haven’t checked my phone all day
Every thought is delayed

Rose in terror from my bed
Read a text that only said,
“You are not the only light,
You are one in a long line”

Sorry I haven’t answered back
Words move slowly through the feedback
I hope you are doing well today, I’m ok

I still need you
To tell me that its light that we move through,
Though I know it
Hung in the room,
The current is a specter of the bloom
That we flow in

Each little move
Reverberates across dependent moods
Without warning
I am consumed
By echos of the silence I exhume
Every morning

Luminaire (+)

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

It’s hard to see
The twisted lines beneath your feet,
Strung back in time
A tangled tree, unspooling twine
The branches climb

They pull me up each time
I’m more than me

A part of me,
Stitched in a shrine, a tapestry
Of many lives
Not mine to keep, on borrowed time
The next in line

Cherish all you inherit

A thousand strings,
Passing down rings in offering
To ancient family lines, still forming

A hand-me-down
Out of shape now, a bit worn out
It never fit quite right, but I’ll wear it

Cherish All

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

There’s someone at the door, an absence
A silhouette feedback
Just something to ignore, it’s thoughtless
I’d never answer back

It’s all the same to me
The sound means nothing
I hear it everyday,
And it is growing mundane

(We stand in circles and keep our voices low)

I’ve heard it all before, the pounding
The distant muffled voice
A symptom of the floor, no grounding
It’s only static noise

I’m not ashamed to be
A life means something
I’m followed to the grave,
But I am not there today

No elegies for me
Not while I still live and breathe

No Elegies

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

I don’t know
How to be known, or what to say
So I spend the whole day
Undersea

I don’t wake
To minor quakes
I rest my head along the seabed
Silently

Come down slow,
Through undertow
And find a place that will be here always
Any way

Sleep heavy,
Come lay with me
And trust your name will still be the same
When you wake

Heavy Sleeper

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

Theres a divide between the words I mean to say
(My nails are growing, they’re long again)
That’s feeding the time it takes to feel how much they weigh
(They’re sinking into all my friends)

There have been times I’ve thought of being someone else
(They’re carved into the roof of my mouth)
But I only try for better versions of myself
(A sharpened muscle, pointed out)
 
I can be shitty
I know, that’s on me
I won’t try to hide
I’ll own my own mind

Don’t let the ruins dim
Shine a light on them
Every stone unturned
Holds a lesson learned

The Ruins Dim

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

Gathering, the winter burns out
And we are glowing
Sprawling out, I watch the rays sprout
And dance across the floor
I want more
I want to be as they are

(The tone rings on and on)

Scattering, the winter draws in
And I am freezing
Try to radiate the cold skin
But I can’t find the glow on my own
So I put on my coat

(The tone rings on and on)

Envoy of the light
Envoy, will you come around?

Once again the frozen pond
I’m falling over before long
“At least you’re trying to be strong”
And that should be enough
But every time I slip I hear
The constant ringing in my ears
They say its just the passing years
But I’ve heard it all my life

Envoy of the Light

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

The things I see are not the same
As what you see, not exactly
Every single life, distinct
Creating it’s own reality
Billions of worlds, collapsing in
I fear the weight of everything
Draped around my dream of life,
A beautiful wall of static light

And I only trust what I see
What separates love from anxiety?
Shades of the same dream

Lately I’ve noticed tremors that lie
In corners of my eyes, just out of sight
Distant warning, I don’t know what it means
I can’t stop listening to the sound
I’m either breaking out or breaking down
Cracks are forming, I don’t know what it means

Am I learning how to be bright?
Or is it a trick of the light?
Shades of the same dream

There are times when I’m convinced I’m only a burden
But I tell myself it’s just an absence of sun
So I step through the wall to the other side-

I think I’m going blind

And I don’t believe my own sight-
The presence of everyone in my life
We live in shared dreams
And I’ve gone as white as the light
That falls in this place, across every face
We live in shared dreams
My world collapsing, what lovely churning
Peace in the breaking

Dream Lives

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

[emergence]

https://cloudellyn.bandcamp.com/album/you-are-not-the-only-light

I know it’s exhausting sometimes
And I know you’re feeling it tonight
But watch the way the current blankets your eyes-
You are not the only light

If you need a little space, thats ok
(You should do what you want to)
If you need to take some time, that’s fine
(You should do what you want to)
If you need to be alone, then stay at home
(You should do what you want to)
You don’t always have to fight, it’s alright
(You should do what you want to)

I’ll just fade away
I didn’t want to say anything today
I didn’t want this love
But

Wherever I go, just know
I will return, I will return
Even if you can’t follow
I will return, I will return

Cloud Ellyn

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