Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1JAV46oTdV7Z05cJZIF0ac?si=67e499cfa1f6436c

lyrics:
i know your starving in heaven 
i know your starving in heaven
are we all meant to die (die)
are we all meant to

stop!
are you a fan of a person you dont like
if you cant stand closing the curtains when its night 
and i cant tell if im doing this all right 
and i cant tell if you're doin alright 

(stop) i got 24 missed calls inside my inbox
too many gamma rays around me need to detox
you got me trapped inside your springlocks (springlocks)

(stop) cus im so constantly worried like "what do they think about me" "am i not interesting" 
its getting harder to sleep without you
you said its only me but why am i counting two

i know you're different when there's no one in sight 
you cant help but bring me to life
(bring me to life)
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life

well what do you think 
why you so bad
you've done terrible things
you ain't the one to change cus you've never been

i know you're different when there's no one in sight 
you cant help but bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life
bring me to life

(i cant believe you, i cant believe)
(i cant believe you, i cant believe)
(i cant believe you, i cant believe)

bring me to life

hypnotized
if you come down to the garden we could verbalize
for the hollow of your mother
you could chase the time
and turn it into something else
all the things you did to me are poisoned
with immaculate intelligence that i feel
whoever told you that You can turn it down at godspeed

its ok now
but all i wanted was a feeling

one free fall
shutdown
rising me from the above
smacking me into the ground
if i could
i would let you know the truth
but all i see is staring at and waiting for me
cant let it decieve

all the morning routes
and the night sky
we're just falling out
in a new time
line the feeling
open my eyes
break the ceiling
as the wall cries
about meanings
no regarding
only live it
in the timelapse
and believe it
like do magic
like the kids we used to be

one free fall
shutdown
rising me from the above
smacking me into the ground
all i see is burning colors
i dont wanna see the light

Break the pen
I dont wanna play nor pretend
That we could be something that would work
Only if we break all the amends
I dont wanna have you as a friend and i dont wanna hear from you again
Everything thats been on your mouth
You can let it have some air
I fall through the pieces of the glass
Always on my phone but left on read
I dont wanna feel like im a mess
But i really think that im a mess
I dont wanna have you as a friend and i dont wanna hear from you again
Everything thats been on your mouth

https://www.instagram.com/p/C-99kt1MsWI/

soft

damn, it's been a while since i logged on here, sorry about that.

found this one digging through his old hard drive, there's a bunch of songs i want to upload from there at some point. Never even knew he made this until recently though, makes me wonder how much other music of his remained unfinished or lost.

anyway, from the lyrics i can kind of piece together the circumstances being written about here, but i think it would be better kept a personal matter. I will say that it's something me and him both had to deal with, and it was probably significantly harder on him. That kid went through an amount of hardship that would break most people.

come to think of it 2011 was just a bad year in general for us. Mom was really struggling to make ends meet, dad's health was getting worse, and we'd basically been forced to sell the couple acres that our grandpa gave us in his will. Good news though was our older sister had moved back from out of state, so she was supporting us in any way she could.

Zion had also lost a close friend that year unfortunately. Everyone had said it was a vehicle accident, but i learned later he'd been fucking around with inhalants, and that was that. Can't even imagine how hard it must've been on his parents. Sadder part is it wasn't even that uncommon, around that area at least. Even the most unassuming blue collar neighborhoods can be hiding really deplorable shit. I do hope that wherever Zion is now though, he has better friends. Because he deserved them.

i saw a seraph on the street today. he was laughing and crying, cause nobody knew his name

i saw the devil on the promenade. bundled in flagstone, writing checks that I can’t pay

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

carriage, brim your bones

i saw my father on the news today. he was tracing his prayer beads, as the red and blue took him away

bevel the whipsaw for the cavalcade. I’m eating your bullets, with a spoon made out of clay

and I am a lamb wrapped up in thermogen. shear off all the stope you take

keep her there, failing throne

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

i know you're starting to get scared of me
the more i try, the worse it gets
and i can't stand the way they stare at me
but i'll try to live with my regrets

flagstone𐂂𐂂𐂂nov2011.wav

_sister

@aprilfridae on verse

idk if i'll get this one done so here it is for now

man!

blink

6 of 15, Together

Waited around for him to come get me
Pull up to your house
My tongue cant find the words I want to hear
The world above you is so saturated
I feel like when I open up my door all of my december air will disappear

I would tie your shoes if you asked me to
Peppermint tea tell you Ill love you by tomorrow
Whys everything look so small these days
Arent pictures supposed to last forever

Not even the arms of creatures out to swallow you all up
Could make me unremember you
Or make me look away from the orange glow around your body
Or even the sun crossin the michigan horizon
Could stop me from loving you
Your head on my shoulder in the backseat
Cuz Ill always look
Cuz I love you

Together

Deruta ricco

I've been staring at the ceiling fan
for some time (for some time)
I find it funny how your story's been changing
at the drop of a dime (drop of a dime)

But all the walls are caving in
and all the memories faded inward to ya
(oh)
I'll try my best to keep it in
but you cant help it cuz its just in your blood
(oh)

And its been eating me alive
(oh)
It's the monster that's inside
your mind
And I cant take it no longer cuz iv tried
Tried to bring you color but nothings left inside
(oh)

You saved me
Reflections point to safety
A nightmare leads to daydreams
So where did I go wrong?

Cuz iv been holding onto what you say
Let this go till it falls in place
Cloth collapses
An inward facing breath

And its been eating me alive
(oh)
It's the monster that's inside
your mind
And I cant take it no longer cuz iv tried
Tried to bring you color but nothings left inside
(oh)

And its been eating me alive
(oh)

man!

Clovehitch

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