radioactivity . weird plants

this is nowhere

memory

lyrics

Love blooms so slowly 
But wilts so fast 
Love blooms so slowly 
But it never lasts
Love blooms so gently 
Disintegrates violently 
Love is so tender
And love is so rough 

It’s so hard to fall in love
But it’s so easy to fall in love with you 
So thorny the flower it bruises my skin 
But I don’t want to let you go 

heartbeats in unison 
softest of smiles 
pink-dusted cheeks as we tenderly touched 
your open arms are calling me 
I had never dreamed that I could love this way 

it's so hard to fall in love 
but it's harder to fall out of love with you 

Oh we're running out of space and running out of time and running out of place and running out of mind 
we're running out of space and running out of time, tongues are tied together, eerie pantomime

I didn’t mean to fall in love
I tried to believe that my heart wasn’t beating for you 
So thorny the flower yet so soft the petal I’m graced with a mouthful of thumbtacks and mush 

I would melt a thousand suns in my mouth for you 
Sink a thousand seas in my guts for you 
Freeze a thousand tundras in my thighs for you 
I will live for you 

Oh we're running out of space and running out of time and running out of place and running out of mind 
we're running out of space and running out of time, tongues are tied together, eerie pantomime

out of touch, out of sync
out of step, out of reach
darling run away
run away from me

carly rae

lyrics 

she said 
no matter where you go 
you'll be following me 
we'll get married on marble floors 
make love in silk sheets 

but oh honey 
we're soaking in rose tinted glass but let's pretend that 
it lasts forever 
oh honey 
give me one more chance to trace, to ebb my way 
into your rivers of affection
I'll let the scent of you run wild inside my bloodstream 

I want you to spring to life at the sight of my feet 
I want us to be each other's sacred sustenance
I'm all yours 
I’m all yours 
just say you're mine too dear

she said 
no matter where you go 
don't follow me 
oh you don't know where to stop 
when the tracks start buckling 
oh honey 
you don't know when it's time 
for you to finally fuck off  

oh honey 
you're the creep in the corner of a 
bar eyeing a poor underage girls bra strap 
oh honey 
you're the pervert by the pavement photographing schoolgirls thighs 

oh honey
oh honey  
stop following me 
stop following me 
stop following me 
stop following me
hit the block button 
run the opposite direction 

won't you leave me alone?
just leave me alone
why won't you leave me alone
just leave me alone 

Oh honey 
You’re the poison that I drink up 
The only thing that wakes my heart that makes it jump and start up again
Three years and the scent of you still makes me wanna kill something 

Stop following me 
Stop following me 
You turned me into a talking, walking panic attack
Stop following me 
Stop following me
Three years and you won’t get out of my head 
Stop watching me 
Stop watching me 
I know I’m fucked up but it’s kind of your fault

creep

lyrics

Never really was a stepford smiler 
Cared too much about myself to hide it 
Never really was a stepford smiler 
Was to weak to even try and hide it

The people around me wear masks over masks to hide their streams of tears 
The people around me hide inside shells so they can scream and I won’t hear 

The people around me keep it so far in I can’t tell who they are anymore 
The people around me are onions and I’m the exposed rotting core 

Look at me now 
Look at the tears 
Taste my fears  
And hold me near 

Look at me now
Look at the cuts 
That cover my arms 
Bloooming artfully 

Never really was a stepford smiler 
Cared too much about myself to hide it 
Never really was a stepford smiler 
Was to weak to even try and hide it

I’ve always been a slut for attention 
Never one to stick to polite conventions 
Never ever hesitate to release my tension 
I’m shallow, wallow in my pity, one dimensional
 
I’m so self absorbed I melt into myself like a human shaped ouroboros
My friends shut in and close up blooming like a backwards rose 

(Pre-chorus)
Look at me now
Look at my seventh 
Suicide attempt 
In a row 

Never really was a stepford smiler 
Cared too much about myself to hide it 
Never really was a stepford smiler 
Was to weak to even try and hide it

You’re a russian nesting doll 
I’m a discount barbie 
I’m the downfall of your inner army 

Take it out on me 
You know I get off on it
Go on, blame it all on me 
I deserve it 

Tell me how much of a fuck up I am 
Tell me how i always make it about me
Tell me how I need to focus on you 
you you you

Are you ok? 
How you doing? 
How you feeling
Feeling today 

Never really was a stepford smiler 
Cared too much about myself to hide it 
Never really was a stepford smiler 
Was to weak to even try and hide it

Never ever really was a 
Never ever really was a 
Never ever really was a 
Was too weak to even try and hide it

smiling

lyrics

Where is the spark that you killed
Where did it go when it disappeared 
Sometimes I’ll see the ghost of a fragment 
A shell of a shell in the distance 

This light is my mother
This light is my friend 
This light will follow me to the very end 
I feed the fire 
Ignite my desire 
And burn and burn and burn 

Where did I go when you killed me 
In the maze of my mind, I search and cannot find
The greedy child who laughed 
The fearful child who cried and tried and tried to be free

Give it back give it back
Puzzle piece of my soul 
Give it back give it back 
What you stole what you stole
Give it back give it back
Make me whole make me whole
Make me me again you bastard 
Or have the decency to kill me for real 

If I could only have a hint 
Of who I used to be
If I could only catch a glimpse 
Of the person that would be 

I’m not worth much now I’m sure
Show me the part of me you stole 

Where did you go when you killed me 
Somewhere off shore i can’t see 
You are a storm, careless and free 
While I am a ship in your sea 

I used to be so overzealous 
Hot tempered easily jealous 
Now I am a white wall 
A puppet, a doll, without someone to call me their own 

Without someone to call me their own
Who am I

spark

lyrics 

I was sculpted to the proportions of the venus de milo
the estrogen smoothed out all my hard edges 
plumped up my lips and my thighs and my chest 
as my mother made me change the way that I dressed 

two x chromosomes 

girl is the mask I wear 
girl is the weight I bear 
girl is the flesh that moves 
girl is the child they lose 

girl when I walk the streets 
girl when I look in the mirror 
girl when I’m in the nude 
girl when I’m in the mood 

girl is the blood in my veins 
girl is the shape of my brain 
girl is the fat on my bones 
girl is the puppet you’re shown 

am i a body with a soul 
or a soul with a body 
cause girl is the corpse they bury 

am i a body with a soul 
or a soul with a body 
cause girl is the corpse I carry

girl

lyrics

you are a monster in the shape of a friend 
you are the summer that never ends 
you are a storm in the shape of the sun 
warmth in the shape of a gun 

I love you more than love 
I love the way you show it like no other 

I don’t want your umbrella in the rain 
I don’t want tender kisses to get me through the pain 
what I seek is on another level 
a different plane 
a higher form 
the highest form of love 
the highest form of love is violence 

you are the cut I keep reopening 
the wound I pour salt in 
the song I keep singing 
but I love you more than love allows 

I don’t want flowers or love letters 
I can think of something better 
because the highest form of love 
the highest form of love is violence 

force your love on me 
(the highest form) 
make me bleed for mercy 
(the highest form) 
laugh my tears away and make me pray my fears astray 
because the highest form of love 
because the highest form of love is violence 
the highest form of love is violence 

you are not the wound, you are the blade 
cause of the scar that never fades 
the cancer in my womb 
rotting me away

away 
show me how much you want me

the highest form of love is violence

ptsd

I'm an art student who also really likes making music. I'm not a spectacular singer, but I have some piano chops. I lean towards jazz and classical styles but also love making electronic and ambient works occasionally. Come talk to me ☻

clown baby

Popular tracks