I Don't Hate You, but You Made Me Hate Myself.

amend

i honestly dont even care how much this sucks, im just not in the right head space and trying to keep it all in has been to much recently. fuck this, fuck life im so sick of all of this shit. love yall

despondent(sugar brockhampton)

412<3
this song is old as hell, i posted it on the alt, but made it private. lowkey kinda like this, it still sucks though lol

412<3

aftrr is so so so dope go check him out
- https://soundcloud.com/aftrrs

relevance w/aftrr

love yourself, flip

412<3
this shi cool or whateva







live, love, laugh, eat, sleep, drink, blink, walk, run, okemia

play

Mattress

412<3
SHOUTOUT TO JIN I FUCKING LOVE YOU BRO

Lyrics-

I don't know my right from wrong, but I gotta move along
Every move is feeling wrong, people telling me I'm on
I don't know where I belong, I'll go write a shitty song
No more feelings, to far gone.

I don't know my right from wrong, pills I'm taking got me fucked up
Got me laying on the floor, got me looking at our photos
Do you love me I don't know, I don't know where I can go
Heart is broken, feeling froze, percies going down my throat

Write a shitty song, got me singing in my bedroom, playing in my headphones
I've been going mental, everybody waste potential, why you such an asshole
Your body is a temple, to experimental, taking drugs I'm throwing up
all from my omental, why does everybody love me, I don't got a good bone

I don't got no good soul, I've been going mental, fuck the government and federal

Got you in my mental 

Now you wanna see all the red, shit is getting critical, I got your body all full of led, ask me if I'll ever come back, I aint ever gonna come back, fuck it all
This shit getting wack, level hunnid gon be my last

I would never fumble the bag, got a chopper full of metal
I might go and hit your dental, saying it was accidental
why you super sentimental, gotta learn my fundamentals
clover turned into a rebel, I've been goin waaaaaa

Write a shitty song, got me singing in my bedroom, playing in my headphones
I've been going mental, everybody waste potential, why you such an asshole
Your body is a temple, to experimental, taking drugs I'm throwing up
all from my omental, why does everybody love me, I don't got a good bone
Picking up put down the phone, baby I want you all, please stop messing with my head, I've been going fucking mental

I don't know my right from wrong, but I got to move along
Every move is feeling wrong, people telling me I'm on
I don't know where I belong, I go write a shitty song
Everybody come with wrongs, come and meet me at the pond

Jin be watching on my back, screaming fuck the federal
You guys are not credible, maybe I wont make it home
You wont ever really know, blunt is filled with medical
Having no clue where to go, I did it all alone.

ily

lyrics: 
She wanna play me like a baritone, lately I've been on my own 
I've been driving 65, to see that smile when i get home,
you don't love me, no you don't, you don't trust me, that's so funny
we lay in bed you on your phone, you got me thinking i was wrong
telling you i love you but you telling me I don't belong
you just want me for the song, you just want me fucking gone

[bridge] no why, you wanna stress me out 
you wanna, you wanna
you wanna, you wanna, kick me out 
you wanna, you wanna 
(goofy noises)
you don't want me here
(more random noises lol)

I've been driving with my windows down, so silent I don't hear a sound
I've been wondering why you kicked me out, I'm do frustrated driving to my house 
I been thinking bout you when I'm by myself, taking drugs that wont help my health, omg I'm thinking I need help, why the hell do you just stress me out, 

omg I need help, laying in bed im just trying to figure out, what did you do to me
I know I'm not the best of me, I just been happier in my dreams, thinkin that you were meant for me, I don't think that were meant to be, you don't care about my feelings

I've been driving with my windows down, so silent I don't hear a sound
I've been wondering why you kicked me out, I'm do frustrated driving to my house 
I been thinking bout you when I'm by myself, taking drugs that wont help my health, omg I'm thinking I need help, why the hell do you just stress me out

I've been driving with my windows down, no I wont ever look around, no I never made a sound, all the good ones come crashing down, no I don't want nobody else, no I really hate myself, I don't know, I don't care, I really hate myself

she wanna play me like a baritone, pop another benzo, said you love me, but you hate me, I'm stuck in a weird zone, I'm so high don't know where to go, I don't got aint nobody else but you, say you love me but you don't, I  guess you got me falling for I lost all my friends for you
_______
hi i hope you guys like this, february is coming up and it’s a pretty hard month for me, i’ve been really stressed out lately cause of some things that i don’t want to get into detail about here, so the name kinda felt fitting. but this song is about a relationship that i had a while back that gave me a new perspective on things, i hate myself for still thinking about things in the past, but what can i do, ya know.

Stress

had to repost cause i think someone botted... buttt, the name dont make sense, but me and my buddies have been obsessed with this bohemian grove shit the past couple days.

This isn't my favorite song that I've made, but I love the feature on it(@1stevyn) and I hope you guys like it a little more than me

lyrics coming soon.

bohemian grove, stevyn

im a whole adult now wtf

lyrics-

Don't know where to go
But I don't, I don't love you no
Morphine I fiend, i needed more
6 feet beneath, below your floor

I don't care anymore
Without you, laying down on the floor
I thought you left cause you wanted more 
was my bestie now you is my enemy

(chorus) 
i guess i was wrong, and i guess i was stupid, you got me fucked up
falling behind, oh i wonder why, you think you got me you're 
out of your mind, you're out of your head, 
getting sick and tired of it, when I'm in bed
now I'm falling behind, oh I think we should try again
she said she doesn't fight for him 

she doesn't fight for him, she doesnt fight for him
she will not ride for him, she will not fight for him

no i dont know where i should go
ive been bleeding out on the floor 
in a room full of people that i dont know 

I just got  a new friend hennessey, you the only one
but not the one that wanna get with me, I thought you were done
but you the one that wont forget bout me
I thought we was friends, but normal friend don't wanna get with me

(friends don't wanna get with me) friends don't wanna get with me (friend don't wanna get with me) got to many enemies (wasted all my energy)
(it is the end, angles depressed, girl its my e-e-e-e-e-end)

(chorus 2x)
i guess i was wrong, and i guess i was stupid, you got me fucked up
falling behind, oh i wonder why, you think you got me you're 
out of your mind, you're out of your head, 
getting sick and tired of it, when I'm in bed
now I'm falling behind, oh I think we should try again
she said she doesn't fight for him

target

This one is kind of different, but I hope you like it

Lyrics-

I'm cool with your new man, he on my Instagram
He liking all my pictures damn, Go and mind yo business man, 
She gon play you, I bet it man
I smoke my Dutch, still got letterman
And while you going mental, she is off to find a better man

I told you I don't give a damn, I'm sick of all the talking
So annoying, its in my head
I'm sick as fuck in bed, we switched up, I'm seeing red
Slight issue, running from the feds
All my friends wishing I was dead

All my friends wanted me gone, think they wanted me dead
Sorry I'm not, maybe ill try again
I'm seeing red, cut wit a knife got no plan
Cause she was nice to the end
Nice to the end, nice to the end, nice to the end

I'm giving up, oh , I don't know
Where you been, or where you going
And my brother Ethan know it
That the world is ending, way to damaged
She said she's so dependent, oxycodone my favorite
My suicide outdated

Wrist cut, bleed right through my gauze
You caught me re-strapping my bandage
People I cant stand then, fucking up my, mental
Fucked up, voices all in my mind 
My gun tucked, shut up, its hard to talk sometimes

Call me crazy, call me stupid
I know I'm fucked up I'm alright
Lets go take one more ride, lets get fucked up one more time
Left me damaged wondering why, cause, I'm not that guy
Cause I'm not that guy, baby I'm not that guy
Lets go take another ride, everything will be alright
With you by my side, I've been just fine
And I've been alright, and I feel, no we feel, do you feel alright

You've been on my mind, no I cannot lie
Playing with my mind, look at the imessage you sent me 
Read receipts off but I still read it, I wrote you back but I never sent it
I think the world is ending, and its all my bad

(ending)

Red 2

I don't really like this song that much, but I made it for my mom a little bit ago and just finished it up recently, it kind of just fits cause I'm leaving home soon, I don't even know if she's going to see this.

and yea I know, this sound like the glaive beat, shut up💀

Thanks to @wynko for making the cover art, you're dope <3
Collective- @dotcomgang
Lyrics-

Mama telling me, ill be fine with you out my mind
and she said, love is hard sometimes
you just gotta go learn how to get by, let it go
give it time, I know it hurts sometimes
you cant run, you cant hide, I know you're sad and tired

and my mommy told me move so slowly
if you don't, you might die so slowly
mama know your life's been hard, remember singing with you
8 years old, was playing guitar, remember driving to my dads
with just in the car, I miss the days when we had Jax when we played in the yard, if you want me, that's okay but, if you don't
I guess that's okay too, cause I'm so fucked

Mama I know I'm, not the best son
but there's a lot of things I got to get off my chest
I met a lot of people that made my life a mess 
from Florida to Missouri guess I made a couple of friends
I don't mind it, I've been fighting, all the good times come to an end
I don't mind it, I've been fighting, all the good lives just end in a death

Mama telling me, ill be fine, with you out my mind
and she said, love is hard sometimes
you just gotta go learn how to get by
let it go, give it time
I know it hurt sometimes, you cant run, you cant hide
I know you're sad and tired

Mama told me, better watch my back
cause there's good ones and fake ones everywhere you go
I know I don't say this enough, but I love you
say you love me more, told me I miss you
when you go so far, she said why you gotta go move so far
I'm your only son and your my only mom
I'm really gonna miss you just this time
I don't mind it, I've been fighting 
all the good times come to an end
I don't mind it, I'm misguided
all the good times come to an end

I don't wanna die, but sometimes I be a mess
and sometimes, I'm in my head
you say I'm gonna wind up dead

so I'm, laying down in bed, let head spin I don't rest
go and doze off in my LEDS, I'm thinking how I lost my friends
how the fuck do I know

Mama told me, better watch my back
cause there's good ones and fake ones everywhere you go
I know I don't say this enough, but I love you
say you love me more, told me I miss you
when you go so far, she said why you gotta go move so far
I'm your only son and your my only mom
I'm really gonna miss you just this time
I don't mind it, I've been fighting 
all the good times come to an end
I don't mind it, I'm misguided
all the good times come to an end

-Released With Dotcom-

home

lyrics-

Music Video- https://youtu.be/45J2oOM7lFA

oh, where'd you
I'm so high, idk
go say goodbye to my bros 
morning coffee, idk

you say goodbye
hearts in your eyes
you thought i lied 
baby i tried 

the end is coming
all my fiends are running
and the sky is falling
you afraid of the man

go and pop a hunnid
my stomach get pumping
personality fucking me up till the end
you afraid of the man
no I don't got a plan

western gunfight not my fault
sending shots right to the done
you cant patch my bullet holes
insects inside eat my bones
my sedan gets me down the road

validize 

you validated
I wont lie I lost my patients

oh, where'd you
I'm so high, idk
go say goodbye to my bros 
morning coffee, idk

you say goodbye
hearts in your eyes
you thought I lied 
baby I tried 

the end is coming
all my fiends are running
and the sky is falling
you afraid of the man

oh why 
white lies 
I wont survive
my skinny ass died at sunrise 
white boy with a knife to my eyes 
I tried
but you wanna go lie

don't cry
don't mind you
ill be alright 
you tried to save me 
baby I'm fine

falsetto(music video in description)

spotify- https://open.spotify.com/track/6JaOlFNzvFYOOYIsfx8OyV?si=624dd895402347b6

prod. yungspoiler

lyrics

baby like i guess
you, you left your man
and now i try to be friends
i guess that this is the end 
but the flowers grow in my den

oh, oh 
again, again, again
fuck 
again, again, again

oh im dead 
im dead, im dead

i put the gun right to my head
i guess that this is the end
that's just why i try to cut ends 
i thought you'd never forget 
but now im lost in your head

i guess
you, you left your man
and now i try to be friends
i guess that this is the end 
but the flowers grow in my den

the flowers grow in my den 
why do you gotta pretend 
why do we gotta be friends
i see you right through my lense

thought you dont fuck on your friends 
i wanna fuck, now im fucking my friends
you wanna fuck, now we fuck again

you wanna fuck now we fucking again 
everyone tell me you're bad for me
you wanna go and get back at me
all of my friends they go laugh at me
my percocet 30 my ecstasy

baby like i guess
you, you left your man
and now i try to be friends
i guess that this is the end 
but the flowers grow in my den

oh, oh 
again, again, again
fuck 
again, again, again

i guess that this is the end
again, again, again

i guess you try to pretend
that yo don't 
you don't got a man
makes it hard to be friends 

glock 19 cause you know i never switch up
lsd with a tab on my tongue 
shot that dude at the bus stop 
everyone laughing like clover you fell off

baby like you 
rather hang with your friends
you told me that you love 
now you're at a party with him 
i might go kills myself 
but now youre at a party with him

now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him
now you're at a party with him

all plats 

(prod me)

lyrics- 

bitch ripped out my heart
dumb bitch, bitch, bitch 
you tear me apart 

bitch ripped out my body parts
maybe they onto us 

bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch 

ripped up my body
i don’t wanna fight 
ripped up- ripped up my body
with your bloody knife 

you are not gone you don’t choose if i-
you are not gone 
i ripped out my eyes 

bitch
bitch 
bitch
bitch 

bitch 
bitch 

this 
this
this
this 

this
this 

this 
this
this
this

go and lie to my face
tell me, everything will be okay 
now 556 straight to the face 

now it’s a bloody mess bloody fade 
die 
it’s a bloody mess bloody face 

b-b-b-bloody neck, bloody k 
you just tried to get away

you don’t, you don’t 
you don’t know pain 

sending a shot my my-
brain 

dumb 

bitch
bitch
bitch 

you tear me apart 
bitch ripped out my body parts 
maybe they onto us 


bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch 

ripped up my body parts 
maybe they onto us 

bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch
bitch

abel

prod me.
https://open.spotify.com/track/6PDOLO3yviwNgViVntHn28?si=bdbf7dba3435430d

this shit kinda mid but i was trying something different and i needed to post sum, i hope you enjoy it, ily

lyrics

oh my god i lost my head
no, oh my god i lost my head
so I've been laying in my bed 
and all the voices want me dead 
so i 
i tried to hide 
you try to pull up on me wit a 9 
p80, 4x

he dont got guns, we got glocks
he gon die

you be running 
you wont go far, and i fell in love
tore up my heart
and i wish we could 
be together 

m4, 556
im on my, wizard shit, suck my dick
and you go 
lie to my regiment
and you go
pussy boy copying 

you cannot be me lil boy you can try 
i wont hop on your song are you out of your mind 
you act like you tough but you must wanna die 
i been off ecstasy  every time

im on my wizard shit, wit a stick
2 toned my brother know where he live
i watched my homie die as a kid 
2/22 why aint god let him live


oh my god i lost my head
no, oh my god i lost my head
so I've been laying in my bed 
and all the voices want me dead 
so i 
i tried to hide 
you try to pull up on me wit a 9 
p80, 4x

he dont got guns, we got glocks
he gon die

you wont play me 
i wont play your games 
im dead
i had to switch my ways
i guess that you wont ever change

and they're all dead or they're all fake
i think im  going insane 


oh my god i lost my head
but i be laying in my bed 
and all the voices want me dead
so i

so i, try to hide 
but i don't think i want you back 
guess you wont ever change

game

prod. @n7te
cover- @nickmediasm

lyrics- 

my eyes fell in they sockets
you tearing out my cartilage
there's blood in my apartment 
my veins in my pocket

why you tryna kill me baby 
you the one that lied 

poison in my system
I don't think that im gon die

watch out, everybody watching 
i got money on my life

my eyes fell in they sockets
you tearing out my cartilage
there's blood in my apartment 
my veins in my pocket(x2)

6:28

prod. @n7te
 cover- @nickmediasm

thanks to @800pts and @1sincere for getting on ts, you guys are some of my favorite artists and some cool ass people.

also a big thank you to @n7te for producing and helping me mix the entire ep. I know its not that long, that's my bad, but I got some more music coming soon. Love you guys, run this shit up.

-clvrr

King (ft. 800pts and sin)

the memories behind this one are crazy, I love you guys, thank you.

thanks to @n7te for helping me mix 

lyrics-

That's my bad,  oh my god 
you saved me from my thoughts
I wake up and now you're gone
I've never felt so lost
That's my bad,  oh my god 
you saved me from my thoughts
I wake up and now you're gone
I've never felt so lost

I guess that I'm lost without you 
but I don't want to go die young
I guess I'm growing older 
but I don't want to live that long
I, I don't
even know if you care about a thing
I guess that I've been so fucked up 
you told me its all up in my head

That's my bad,  oh my god 
you saved me from my thoughts
I wake up and now you're gone
I've never felt so lost
That's my bad,  oh my god 
you saved me from my thoughts
I wake up and now you're gone
I've never felt so lost

I think that I'm gon lose my mind
I just wasted all my time
I think that I'm gon lose my life
ill be dead damn, suicide
and ill be dead damn, not alright
and ill be dead damn say I'm fine

That's my bad,  oh my god 
you saved me from my thoughts
I wake up and now you're gone
I've never felt so lost
That's my bad,  oh my god 
you saved me from my thoughts
I wake up and now you're gone
I've never felt so lost(x2)

young

lyrics

how would you feel
if you were dead right now 
gun to your head
you'll be laying on the ground
you lied to me 
now you wont make a sound 
I've been so quiet 
when she come around
how would you feel 
to be dead right now 

to be dead right now 

breaking my windows 
slashing my tires
I didn't care 
but girl I've been trying
I'm losing my friends 
I'm tired of fighting
I think its the end 
(to be dead right now)

breaking my windows 
slashing my tires 
I'm seeing red
you got a new man 
he bouta be dead
I got no plan 
damn its a mess 
got his blood in my hands
gotta aim for the kill 
now he down on cement 
I've been feeling insane 
cause I'm missing my ex

...

breaking my windows 
slashing my tires 
I didn't care 
but girl I've been trying
I'm losing my friends 
I'm tired of fighting 
I think its the end
to be dead right now

breaking my windows 
slashing my tires 
I didn't care 

gun to your head 
you'll be laying on the ground
you lied to me 
now you wont make a sound
I've been so quiet
when she come around
how would you feel 
to be dead right now 

to be dead right now. 
----

this was basically meant to be the third part to my song "red" and "red 2" but I didn't want to name it "red 3" cause I think that's dumb. 

when I was thinking of lyrics to punch in the song kind of took a turn. I started to really think about death and what comes with it... my aunt passed away february 2nd of this year and she was always my biggest supporter. she knew I made music before any of my family did and I always looked forward to showing her my unreleased first. i dont know what happens after death, but i do know she will always be proud of me.. she made sure i knew it.

i love you Aunt Mallory, this one is for you.

trying

smoked way too much before i posted this and now im in my feels

cant get you out of my head 
cant get you out of my bed 
thinking bout all my regrets 
I swear I'm trying my best 

cant get you out of my head 
fuck all the talking I'm dead 
I know that I've been a mess
I'm hoping that I can forget 
I know that I wont be next up 
I've been so tired of fighting 
I'm fed up
everyone's telling me 
how ain't you make it yet
I've been trying not to die 
I've been faking it
you've been all up in my mind
I'm erasing it 
gonna end it all 
that's the way it is
looking like he just won
the race again
I don't really feel like
trying all this shit again 
I've been trying not to cry
like a bitch again 

cant get you out of my head 
cant get you out of my bed 
thinking bout all my regrets 
I sear I'm trying my best 

I swear I'm trying my best 

cant get you out of my head 
cant get you out of my bed 
thinking bout all my regrets 
I sear I'm trying my best

clvrr's

Pinned to spotlight

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