Breezeblocks (cover)

I will spend my days alone
And fall to dust and bones
Piled like a vulture's prize
Dying by the phone
And I will dose myself numb
For a call that just won't come
From a precious broken green eyed
Girl
Who I can't help but love
And she will see me kept in
Her little box of things
And lick her finger to turn the page
Of a book she left half-read
And her sister will convince her
 that I wasn't worth the pain
And they'll take both of their privileged lives
And curse my fucking name
And denial is a game
That is easier to play
Than to battle

And I will let myself decay
Let the record play
My sense of time distorted
By the sedatives I take
And the help that I require
Just to exist on this earth
Will be a testament to children
Who should never have been birthed
I wanna reach through all this space
And kiss her pretty face from
2,213 fucking miles away
And so the story always goes
You can change your hair and clothes
But the same old haunts you stumble through
Still house the same old ghosts
That you thought you hexed away
But some things refuse to change
And some things will always
Stay the same

I will not softly burn away
I'll live out all my days
A tumbling avalanche of wreckless
Shitty things I meant to save
And all the things we never said
burning holes inside my head
And despite all our best-laid plans
We still sleep in empty beds
and our fruitless bitter fights
And the softest satin nights
We spent in silent splendor sleeping
Still will all be burned alive
And when I reach for you inside
My sleeping head at night
I will pretend that I'm not seeing you
In this other girl's eyes
And I'll bleed out till I'm blue
but the frightening, flashing truth is that
 when she fucks me I'll be hard-pressed to pretend it isn't you
I don't know why I hold on
To this false vision of you
I guess I thought that you could fix me
But you needed fixing too
And I'm a twisting ball of rage
My sadness and my shame
Will burn the candle at both ends
And I'll forget you feel the same
Urgency I did
of a frightened little kid
Who buckles at the fucking knees
in disbelief of what they did
And the dying light of day
Will turn the summer's love to gray
And somethings simply can't remain
and they'll never be the same
I don't know why I came
I guess I only want to say
That time has ripped us clean apart
But I will always keep your name
Swimming in my thoughts
Like a bandit covets change
From some precious broken green eyed girl
With pennies to her name
I need you like a flower
Needs the warmest summer rain
But you're a blizzard, and I am wilting 
And that's never gonna change
I guess I'm sorry for the way
that I acted yesterday
and despite all my best-intentions
I'll just flash and fade away because
Denial is a game
That is easier to play
Than to battle

I love you I hate you don't leave me

Loser Company is always hiring.

Say goodnight my child
Lay your head to rest for a while
Say goodnight my child
The moon and stars are bright tonight
I drank too much just like my fish
Drowned in a bowl of good heroin
He swam face up under a bridge
Which I jumped off and clung to his fin
Say goodnight like a child
Soaring along as I dream of a walk in the park after dark
Say goodnight like a child
Dragon is dragging along as the clock marches by
Dropping dimes from the sky as the day says goodnight
I flew too high bird out of breath
Building a nest from lit cigarettes
Biding my time learning to fly
Window pane telephone line
Say goodnight
Say goodnight

Say Goodnight

Unconditional Love

ENOLA MAI - Polusa

always pressing forward always falling down
i can feel my shoulder blades begin to scrape the ground
and i can see your face in the light
and it reminds me of why i stay alive 
if you tell me you love me tonight
i may start to try
i may start to try 

(chorus)
i’m getting older 
i’m staying sober
until the end.
no need for having fun
no need for having friends 
And Ill make it through tonight
Even if it takes some time
Ill do it for you
But ill do it for me too

when i look into the mirror all i see are glassy eyes
underneath this toothy smile 
underneath this disguise 
i feel like i’m made of wax 
i feel like i’m made of thorns
i can’t keep this up forever
i can see my skin’s getting torn

(chorus)
i’m getting older 
but i’m staying sober
until the end.
no need for having fun
no need for having friends 
i don’t see the need 
for wasting so much time
every second that passes
my life is on the line

i’m walking on glass
im walking on glass
Im getting through this year
I hope it goes by fast
I want to get over yesterday
But it’ll take some time
It’ll take some time

The 44

ENOLA MAI - Dvoe kak odin

adieu

The deepest thoughts an idiot can have for the third time. 
Joe & I drank beer, played guitar & recorded this in his room. He doesn't have a stage name but he wants one.

Deep Thoughts From An Idiot  #3

"Shallow” Conor Oberst & Phoebe Bridgers “ At Brooklyn Steel

Forgive yourself. Nothing is as bad as you make it out to be. Grow.

I love you I hate you don't leave me

Cole Thompson

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