made this this morning. figured i should post since i haven't in a while. hi :)
* everything by me <3 *
--
and I always get it wrong

feel like I’ve been used so many times
now I’m bleeding
and I don’t wanna talk
cuz I know that you won’t mean it
always feeling scared
cuz I feel like I’ve been dreaming
and I just wanna wake up
I feel like fuckin screaming

you make me feel so useless
I feel so fucking dumb
always trying to make music
make it for no one
always sorry for myself
when I should be moving on
why won’t anybody tell me
that they’re proud of what I’ve done

I don’t wanna talk no more

you make me feel some type of way

bone marrow

hi it's been a while. made this today. <3
cover by colin padulo

black lighter on me
all the things I can’t change
ain’t that strange

i wanna make love to a girl
that just hates me
why do I feel like everyone hates me

i just feel like dying
your blood on my eyelids
i can’t even hide it
there’s no point in trying

yeah it's all your fault

never the time to
remember the times when
these things aren't helping
they're filling my lungs

kick dirt on my name
feel so ashamed
guess nothing has changed
how i feel right now

say you're coming soon
i'll just cry about it
while i'm stuck in my room

punctured lung

Take a boat to England baby
Maybe to Spain
And when I write to you
The feelings never change

Might sew my eyes together
You’re always on my mind
When I’m not sleeping baby
You know you’ll find me crying 

Etching your name on my forearm
So that you know that it’s real
I’ll bring you wine out in London
And tell you just how I feel

And no I don’t want to cuddle
I want to crawl in your skin
I’ll wear your face out in public
To prove the love that we’re in

And I’ll be in your apartment
Causing the breath in your walls
I’ll use your blood as a perfume
A little spritz for the road

And we’ll be happy together
And if you’re not I’ll just die
They’ll find us hung in the basement
No more tears left to cry

But when you wake up at midnight
And wind is chilling your bones
I’ll drop some pins on the floorboards
You’ll know you’re never alone

And then when we go missing
I wonder what they will think 
Will they be happy for us?
Will they be happy for me?

It warms my heart that you miss me
I love the pain in your eyes
Sometimes I think that I’m crazy
Think you’re the rest of my life

I want to be there forever
As every second goes by
I’ll make you glad that you met me
This is the end of your life

LNDN (prod le0l + me)

prod me
(sorry it took so long lol)

i put a gun to my head
im [___] myself if she finds out
feel like im losing my mind
im watching myself losing time now

and none of your lies mean shit to me
when i was low where was our friendship
phonies i do not affiliate
don't feel like wasting my energy

when i crack from pressure
when i break stress fracture
and my heart beats faster

and im hating all my friends
cuz they never really cared
all the suffering and lies
realized nobody was there
and now i want you
back in my life
but i cant face it
yeah i wish you would die

stressfracture

EVERYTHING I NEED (le0l)

111111111111 (prod. le0l + me)

acetone (le0l)

@le0l

HOLY SHIT IT'S (COLE TOTO)
THIS IS A CUMFEST EXCLUSIVE
TODAY WE'RE GETTING STICKY
TODAY WE'RE PLAYING A NEW TRACK FROM THIS GUY
(COLE TOTO)
HOT 98.4 (SUCK MY COCK!) LET'S GET IT

Yeah I just got cum on my sock! (EW)
I thought that I loved her, that Girl is a dub
It turned out that she was an opp
(KILL OPPOSITION)
I heard you were terminal
That shit is airport as fuck (WHAT?)
HA You’re just a loser
I heard your new song it don’t even knock
(THAT SHIT WAS ASS)
I’m outside hocking a loogie
And that’s cuz my sinuses suck
I always get what I wanted
And that’s cuz my credit is buck
I’m stomping on your jaw bone
don’t get fresh with me-e-e
Why your eyes stuck to my ass
Like human centipede (CAKED UP)
Don’t have a UTI but I’m drinking cranberry
Rockin’ chainmail at the function
Like what’s the century
You’re gonna croak
I’ll wait it out
That’s just eventually
I got a booty call from your mom
Cuz she’s obsessed with me

Yeah
You got me fucked up (PHANTOM POWER ACTIVATE)
I’m feeling sticky-icky
So what (EW)
Do you believe in love?
I wanna be all up in your guts

Do you like salmon
I’m feeling romantic for you
I’m starting to panic
Cuz really what can I do
I think I’ma manage
Can’t abandon these feelings for you
And I’ve been tryna just get it off of my chest like

Ohhhhh (what the fuck is wrong with you?)
Don’t knowwww

STICKY (le0l)

rustleaf - demo 2021 (me + cielle) [nyu pb show closer]

Pray for rainfall
He’s unable
Advantageous
Aphantasia
Fall in April
What would they do?

What would they do?
What would they do?
What would they do?

Like I told you
Hands get warmer
Honey don’t ache
They just sit there

When the world comes
She’s so New York
It won’t hurt much
I don’t know ya

I don’t know you
I don’t know you
I don’t know you
I don’t know you
I don’t know you
I don’t know you
I don’t know you
I don’t know you

In The Field Where I Lay Dying

Buy Buy Buy! Everything Must Go! (bonus)

Sandbag

You Always Knew

Veins

Mutilation

Pine (le0l)

Momma (le0l)

Thursday (le0l)

She wanna fuck me cuz she think that I’ll be famous
I’m so cute and talented
I know that you must hate it
Saw your last post on IG you must be brainless
Oh my god like how are you so shameless

BRRRR
On my cellphone
Why you always call me
When I’m tryna get home
Like oh my god
Do you really even know
What I had to do
Do you know 
That I’d die for you

Do you really want me
Are you down to call?
Do you really want me
Are you down at all?

Really hope that this won’t be
The last time that I see you
Girl I really hope you know
How much I need you

I’ve been thinking about the things
I shouldn’t think about now
I don’t wanna fight you
But I really shouldn’t back down
I miss u
I miss u
I miss u so much
yeah

Did I say too much?

✰dogphone✰ (prod. cole toto)

why you never call
When I need you?
Why you always wait
When I bang your line
Don't really know if I need you

Darling take your time
  
Baby do you know
it's a red flag right?
I can’t hold you down
What you said that night
Baby I can’t see
Need a nightlight
can’t connect
like some wifi
I don’t need a timeline
There is such a fine line
I just need a hotline
Feeling in the sinai
I don’t need a bag
That’s coming when the back come up
Yeah
She keep bringing past back up
in in the back seat
Ima let the plans start up
Yeah
Ima let my hands come up
yeah
In the back seat Ima let the top fall off
Yeah
Ima let your top come off

Do you know I love you?
I just wanna hold you
No one else above you
You’re the one

Do you know I love you?
I just wanna hold you
Girl let me ask you something

starfruit (prod. cole toto)

low key a bonus track lol

Stripes on my t shirt
Holes in my pants
Running til my knees hurt
got blood on my vans

In the tunnel with the windows down
Listen to the songs that I wrote you now
Ice in my cup when I need it
Iced out when I need u
I was looking back texts that I used to get
Sittin in the front row
Things that made me laugh
Thinking bout the friends that I used to have
Damn that made me sad
Now I wonder where you are
I might just need you the most
Aaaaaa
I really miss you now
I really miss you now

Screaming while I’m driving home
never peace of mind
Ever im alone
So gone
yeah honestly the truth be told
Long drives calm nerves with the falling snow
Did you really did you ever fall for me?
Why’d you never call for me?
Did you ever cry for me?
Ohhhhh

stripes (prod. cole toto)

https://youtu.be/TlkxtiNc5d8

AAAAAAAAAAA

Heyitsraymond!
I don’t get it 
Do you wanna fuck?
I ain’t got the time
And I don’t think that you’ve done enough
Sent my pics to my phone
So u know I had to pull it up
Stop talking shit 
If you Aint fuckin pulling up

Like a zombie
Bitch I’ll blow yr fuckin head off
camera w the clips
just to blow some fuckin lead off
Im a bitch im a thot im a sellout
If u can’t deal bitch
Then fuckin get out
Said I wan be friends
But it turns out that she hates me
Why the fuck’d you date me?
I just wanna text her all the time
Because I love her
Did I fuckin stutter?

Falling on my ass again
I can’t believe I fell for you
All this time I tried & tried
It never made no sense with you
No

All this talk
Please shut up
I see right thru ya
After all I thought
Yeah i Wish I never knew ya

Why you sextin all my friends
Then hit me up tonight?
Bitch are you lookin for a fight?

Fogging up
Cuz I fucked her in the back seat
XCX world
Listening to taxi

If you wanna talk let me know
I’ll just let it go

PULL UP THEN 👹 **VIDEO IN DESCRIPTION**

hi guys companion song 4 this coming soon <3
happy halloween

also i cant get the goddamn mix right

Ima stomp your fuckin face in with a brick
Ima break your fuckin teeth don’t give a shit

Ima stomp your fuckin face in with a brick
Saw you hangin out with T don’t give a shit

People shit on my name
Yeah I got that
Don’t hit my DMs
I won’t fuckin write back
How many times
I gotta tell you
Not everything’s about you

I hear you talk shit
You don’t do much
Shut the fuck up
You talk too much
Blood on your ******
Cuz I’m too rough
When I’m done with you
You gon’ spew guts

I can’t relax when I pull up to the party
I cannot trust anybody

In the cut I’m with a cutter
Feel like sematary
Whole squad wanna fight
But we can’t see your face
We gon find you
in the headlights
When you think you’re safe
Hunt you down like a deer
When you run away

I can’t find my phone
Yeah I think I might’ve lost it
Holy shit yeah
I think I might’ve lost it
You don’t even care what you caused me
Being honest

Is there something I could say to you
I know your heart needs a break
There’s nothing I can say to you
You made a mistake

80 in my car
and Im swerving down the highway
I can’t keep my eyes awake
Almost killed my friends
Coming back from Massachusetts
But they’re not really friends, man
I was just fucking clueless
And I can keep a secret
But Remind me if I shouldn’t
And you’re already dead to me
I don’t know why I wouldn’t

So tell me what you want
Do you really have a point in life?
I can’t understand
why you tried so hard to ruin mine?

Know I keep a cutter
If we have a fuckin problem
Ima make you bloody
If we have to fuckin solve it

BRICK

prod, mix, & vox by me :)

BLOOD ON YOUR SHOES
DID YOU GET ENOUGH
STEPPING ON MY HEART
LIKE SOME BUBBLEGUM
ALL THOSE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
THAT YOU CAUSED ME
SHOULD’VE NEVER STAYED
WHEN YOU TRIED TO RUN

YOU SAID LOVE IS ETERNAL
EXPLAIN THAT TO ME
CUZ YOU NEVER LIE
WHEN YOU TALK IN YOUR SLEEP
AND YOU STILL TRIED TO RUIN ME
I CAN’T BREAK FREE

DID YOU WANT SOMETHING BESIDES THIS OH?
DO YOU WANT SOMETHING BESIDES THIS OH?
I CAN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED
I CAN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED

I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP
WITH A LULLABY
GET A MILLION CHANCES
I STILL FUCK IT EVERY TIME
NOW I SIT WONDER
IF I EVER CROSS UR MIND
CUZ I CAN’T HELP IT
I STILL THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME

AND ALL YOU EVER TOLD ME WAS A LIE
AND I AIN’T EVEN GOT TO SAY GOODBYE

EVERY SINGLE MESSAGE THAT U WRITE
JUST HURTS ME MORE

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