LYRICS:

I woke up in a wreck on somebody's back deck 
I stumbled down the street- beer and weed on my breath 
"What happened?" is the only question I could fathom asking 
As a stumbled in to vomit in the gas station bathroom 
Crusted in my mustache- I must ask the cashier 
Where I can find a trash bin to throw this condom wrapper in 
Least there's a possibility I wore one 
Who's the lucky lady? What may Natey have contracted? 
As I leave, I'm trying desperately 
To unweave this tapestry and pick up every last puzzle piece 
But I can't do it, I'm ruined and I cannot reassemble 
I blame it on the pain in my temple 
I've been to the bottom and here I am again 
I gotta find my car and I gotta find my friends 
I feel like shit, man- I feel so alone 
I got high last night and I didn't go home 

I'm tryina think back to the beginning of the bender 
The last I remember was Sam the bartender 
Trek down the street through 90 degree weather 
Skin color- green, I should be on a stretcher 
Walkin' down Mainstreet, a car pulls up 
Pizza face baby weighed about 3 bucks 
"I had fun last night, you got my number, hit me up" 
I looked her in the eyes and I replied like, "yup." 
I make it to the the bar- find my car is parked 
The only problem is, I don't know where the keys are 
RETARD 
I would to call a homie, but hey- wouldn'tcha know 
The phone in my pocket could desperately use a recharge 
I step into the bar and ask if I can use the phone 
They were like, "Nate, after we cut you off- where did you go?" 
Uuugh, man- I really wish I knew, but I don't 
All I know is I got high and I didn't go home" 

I called up Teece, I was like, "Ayy, wassup 
I'm hungover at the station, please come pick me up 
My car's out front, but I can't find the keys" 
He was like, "Dude I took 'em- remember? You tried to leave" 
"Well, dude- you couldn't gimme a ride?" 
"Man, I tried, but you left with that fat chick, insisting that you were fine" 
Noooo 
God why 
Fuck me 
I ran outside and dry-heaved in the street 
Who coulda seen? I hope nobody knows 
I'm beginning to think that I'm outta control 
I oughtta get it together but I know that I won't 
That's the way the cookie crumbles, that's life- I suppose 
So there I sit, basking in shame 
'Till Teece pulled up and he laughed in my face 
He handed me my keys, "Hey, thanks- I gotta go 
I got high last night and it's time to go home" 

I'll wake up in a fog- god dang, good god 
I'll put it all together like "oh-lawd" 
I hardly ever smoke, it's a fact that I drink 
Put 'em both together, I'll be yackin' in a sink x2.5

The Boiler Room

Oh-Lawd

LYRICS:

It all comes together, man- it feels so perfect 
Saturday, kickin’ back, sittin’ on the surface 
Worthless? Never that- do yourself a service, 
Man- come on, get down to the earth tip 
70 degrees under evergreen trees, at the park till dark 
Every evening street shredding, 
Nahte got the Cavillac ready 
Tribe Called Quest, Beck - Beercan steady 
Got a betty on my side, backseat when I ride with the homies 
Ain't no surprise the guys know me 
Typical Jarv, Deuce Bigalow goes hard with a so-so hoe 
Gettin’ dome, drinkin' 40s 
Cops roll by while I powerslide hills 
They hate my skills, I love cheap thrills 
I go wild in the streets, runnin’ up until- 
The homies hit me up to chill 

Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Walkin’ ‘round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 
Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Skatin’ ‘round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 

Got my hair in a bun like Samurai Jack 
Hot yoga in the park, ooooh, would ya’ look at that 
Feel the breeze, life is such a beautiful thing 
I find a quiet ol' tree and take a nap 
Ahhh, how lovely, livin like a sundae with nuts 
Yeah, I'm nuckin’ futs- tell me that ya’ love me 
Honey, let’s go and take a dip 
Sun-bleached hair, with the bubblegum hips 
Ahhh, get a grip Jarv- can't get this hard 
Rockin’ gym shorts, swimmin’ with this broad 
Good god, gotta stop lookin’ at the bod 
Or homegirl gon’ tell Jarv to get gone 
Rope-swing, hoping to see the ravine 
You’ve been my dream ever since I was a pre-teen fiend 
Fantasy may be happening or so it seems, 
“What do ya’ say we go and get a bite to eat, huh?” 

Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Walkin’ 'round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 
Hey, it's the same ol’ same 
Skatin’ ‘round town, it ain't gon’ rain 
I got sunshine sittin’ on top of the skin 
Feel the funk and let the fun begin 

I don't wanna grow up, No, I don't wanna get old 
I don't wanna do what I'm told x4 

Hot yoga in the park x8 

Yoga pant booty-bootiful, I'm a fool for you baby boo, 
Hello, how do you do? 
I am not the man, but I will treat you like a woman 
Number 1, you will never be number 2 
You’re definitely divinity, Let me buy you dinner 
To you, I promise- I will always be true 
After dinner we can head back to your pad 
and I will do whatever you want me to do 
Who am I? Another stupid guy who would try to 
to get in your pants and wave goodbye? Oh my, I never would 
I never could even begin to imagine leavin’ you defeated 
I mean it, better believe it 
Heated up a little candle wax, drip it on my back 
Ooh, ahh, you a freak and I like that 
We hit the sheets, then I hit the streets 
And skate down to the station for a night-cap 

Hey, it's quite alright 
Out goes the day and in comes the night 
With the moonlight gleamin’ on the side of her butt 
I love life, man- aww shucks x2

Hot Yoga

LYRICS:

Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Actin' like life is a big commercial x2 

Introducing the uncoordinated Bruce Lee- 
Jarv, retard on tracks, by ThiefofBaghdad from New Zea- 
Landing on branches like Leo in The Revenant 
While rappers get branded, I stay contractually hesitant 
Standing on my own two, dismantle a pansy- thrown through 
paneling of fake wood, I'm hotter than rockin' snow suits 
In July or August, gotta' teach 'em- taught 'em raw shit 
Temperature will be goin up 
Hotter than any dumb hoe with some large tits 
Grab 'em, ahh, motorboat (brrrr) slap 'em 
Not the tits, the rappers braggin' about their massive lack of talent 
Riding on a hover board, elastic ankle slouch pants 
Smedium shirts and snap backs, doin' the dab dance 
How much were the shoes that your parents bought you? 
Haven't worked a day in your life, it's so ironic you're a tool 
man, who you trying to impress? Have you not a shred of virtue? 
Actin' like life is a big commercial 

Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Actin' like life is a big commercial x2 

Act now and we'll throw in an extra set for free 
Call the number on your screen and buy my shitty CD 
Grab your fire suits because this mixtape's fuego, 
Act now and you'll receive a stale everything bagel 
Taste-testers open up your mouths real wide 
We've got a little something that we wanna put inside 
It's great for all occasions, especially college parties 
Best enjoyed while you're chompin' off your tongue rollin' on Molly 
Get your glow sticks ready, autotune comin' at ya' 
Baalooaaloooaalooaalooo 
Who's your new favorite rapper? 
Give me all your money, invest in my clothing line 
Fashion over rapping, in my skirt I'm feeling so divine 
I made it, thanks to all of the kids who donated 
I'm poppin bottles, sippin' syrup, gettin' so faded 
I'm famous- most played on your little sister's playlist 
My listeners are dumb and they're easily persuaded 
Man, fuck that- You suck and you're only getting worse, dude 
Thief and I will break down walls, bomb and then burst through 
Bother and hurt, vomit and purge on your purse, dude 
You're actin' like life is a big commercial 

Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Everybody rappin' like it's a commercial 
Actin' like life is a big commercial 

Actin' like life is a big commercial x4

Commercial

Released via Big Beat White Label

Big Beat Schedule 1 on Spotify: bbr.ec/bbspsch1

D.R.A.M. - Broccoli (feat. Lil Yachty) [Chet Porter Remix]
Download: https://www.hive.co/l/brlirmxsdl

Follow D.R.A.M.
Website: http://myalbum.bigbabydram.com/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/bigbabydram
IG: https://www.instagram.com/bigbabydram/
TW: https://twitter.com/bigbabydram
SC: https://soundcloud.com/bigbabydram 
YT: https://atlanti.cr/dbbyt 

Follow Chet Porter
Website: http://chetporter.com/
FB: https://www.facebook.com/chtprtr 
TW: https://twitter.com/chetporter 
IG: https://www.instagram.com/chetporter/ 
SC: https://soundcloud.com/chetporter 

Follow Big Beat Records
Spotify: bbr.ec/bbspsc
Facebook: bbr.ec/bbfbsc
Twitter: bbr.ec/bbtwsc
YouTube: bbr.ec/bbytsc
Instagram: bbr.ec/bbigsc

V12

COMETHAZINE

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