Ren and Melvin are sitting at home bored, watching tv, wondering what they 
can do for fun.  Suddenly, a news story comes on:  A mountain lion walked 
into a grocery store today and everyone freaks and runs away.  The boys 
decide to go hunt it down.  They ask Rens mom for a gun, but she tells them 
to go get a job and earn the money for one themselves.  So they go next-
door and cut the neighbors lawn, and he promptly gives them $300, which 
they use to buy a shotgun.  While out in the woods, they encounter the 
mountain lion ("Technically I'm a puma...") and after finding out that he 
only wanted to buy groceries, they decide to help him out, by teaching him 
to hunt so he can reconnect with nature.  After immense trouble and at 
their own expense, the boys finally shoot a deer, and the following 
conversation takes place:

Loyd: "Okay, great, when do we eat?"
Ren: "Right now!  Dig in!"
L: "What!?  This thing!? [indicating deer corpse] I'm not going to eat 
that!"
R: "What!?  Why not!?"
L: "It's not kosher."
R: "WHAT!?  NOT KOSHER!?  WHAT DO YOU CARE IF IT'S KOSHER OR NOT!?  YOUR A 
FREAKING MOUNTAIN LION!"
L: "Technically I'm a puma..."
R: "UGH!  Do you have any idea how difficult it was killing this thing?"
L: "Stop yelling!  You're stressing me out.  Look, I gotta get something to 
drink here.  I just need some water or something."
Melvin: "How about this?" [indicates a beautiful babbling brook with 
pristine, crystal clear, flowing water.]
L: "I'm not drinking that!"
R/M: "Why not?"
L: "You mean besides the fact that it's touching the ground?  Look at it!  
Fish probably fart in that."
R/M: "UGH..."
L: "Look, isn't there a bottled water place around here or something?  We 
can just get one at a hotdog stand. 
R: "WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FORREST, THERE ARE NO HOTDOG STANDS!"
L: "Aw, come on, there's gotta be a path through this forest that leads to 
a park.  I mean, come on, with all that they take out of my taxes, you'd 
think this place would be nothing but parks."

CommissarMouse