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X ( East Duo )

VIII

Dr̥ѯԭm Dѯpr̥iѷԭŧiȣŋ

Ḅłѧ¢ӄ Ӈѯʌr̥ŧ ł Kŋįᶂѯ

ƎᴎIF M'I [ English lyrics ] You must be strong, if you hold and breathe, with so many scars, with so many wounds, among shit and alone in life, from dead sobriety to induced happiness, you do not know who you are or where you're going, you know you do not even know how you are, you do not know who you are or where you are going, but you know how I am, I'm hehe hahaha, I'M FINE; and also dispossessed, and broken of pain. Trapped in a loop in repetition ... Kick, hi-hat, subgrave and compression, ratatatata, punch and distortion, if it sounds in my head, also sounds in Ableton, in the image and likeness of its creator ... Remember "As above, so below ", the secret laws of transmutation. Echoes, Choirs, Reverberation, sequenced samples, scale of C minor... The voices of my desperation sound like a magical combo of mania and depression. Litanies to a dark god, to the lord of your hallucination, I am Choronzon, demon of dispersion, I am a little bit addicted to LoL, to leave the Ableton, from vice to addiction, and from there to devotion. "He's always on the Moon", my mother was told, first at school, later at the police station. First I hated my father, and then the police, after anti-system, it became misanthropy, my nemesis have always been boredom and apathy, systems of reward cutted with cyclothymia, a hangover of speed, or a gram of cocaine, telling me again your whole shit of life. And remember not to mix alcohol with pills, so you can tell me later how to live mine. Do not tell me again your whole shit of life. I did not want to drug myself, I did it because I suffered. New medicine, dexamfetamine, gift from the psychiatrist, who said "he was not lying, he has been tormented throughout his life". Many times I have thought that I would not tell, and many more that would not come out, is it maybe because I will have slept only about 15 days at year. I did not want to get high, I did it because I was suffering, because sometimes I do not care about what I get. Today I do not say anything, and I put myself on the defensive, and if today I can sleep, then tomorrow will be another day, because if I talk to you, you'll think it's all trash, that innocence of childhood is just a utopia, that we do not choose nothing, that is all a big lie, that breathing could be the most absurd nonsense. I have invested in my cross everything I had. Half Moon by flag, and an inverted cross. fuck them all and fuck the pays. My mother is always so worried ... I could not live like that, nor would I want to, I have already invested in my cross everything I had: 50% depression and 50% mania. 

What the fuck about the trash in the kitchen? I do not care, I do not eat, I do not use it at all, since the day, bitch, when you asked me to commit suicide. "Let you destroy that which loved you so much", my black heart was finally pierced by your knife. You said "Get help" and then you laughed. You are mad, I have never did anything bad to you, and if you do not understand it, you are retarded. What the fuck is what's wrong with you? I'm crazy? tell me how I fucked you. You you loved it, and when you finished, you thanked me and would go down to suck... You will remind me sweating in your bed, not the time to understand that really I loved you, that you were wrong, that you have done with me what did with you the bastards that mistreated you. That's why you do not talk to me, nor have you ever told me anything again. Well, you can take it and shut up, I do not care, you're forgiven... I've invested yet in my cross everything I had, bloodmoon in a flag, and an inverted cross. Fuck them all and fuck the pays. Stop crying, mom, always so worried... I could not live like that, nor would I want to, I've already invested in my cross everything I had: 50% depression and 50% mania.

𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖏𝖚𝖗𝖔 𝕹𝖚𝖈𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖗

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