LYRICS:

Woke up in Minnesoto
Got poison spit like a Komodo..
Dragon, we be puffin' on Aladdin 
Take one hit--Like a Flyin' Carpet, good luck landin'
We high as starship
As fat as John Madden

I wear a kimono, I am Larry Soto
Catch me passin' shit off to the homies--Tony Romo
I'm ridin' around with the ghost throat
I'm smokin' kushy cutthroat
I am not no Shlomo, annoying bitches like Yoko

You know Tony Romo, all about them loose hoes
Got fat back on like Vito, Rat Pack Al Pacino
My dick is al dente, gettin' pink slips all day
Got a creme brule on layaway 
Then I masticate in the worst way

Bologna on pre-order, Salami News reporter
Arugula on the computer, Sriracha sauce recorder
Retro J's, Space Rays, Donald Faison
Silver Haze, Trap-a-thon, trappin' with Tron

Trap-a-thon, cuz he's trappin' with Tron
Munchin on, a beef jerky calzon
Sprinkled with freon, crip walkin' through Comic Con
Fist Fight kids on Ramadan

Tommy Pynchon Ramadan, I be upper echelon
Comin' straight from Saigon
Cyborg cohort paisan

Chompin' on a paison, covered in parmesan 
Fuel up at Exelon, I'm excellent at going down
Downtown like Bobby Brown, snortin' gun powder
Mix it with Raisin Bran, slaughter you like a ton ton
Plastic surgery, Goldie Hawn 
Pinstriped like an ocelot, I'm a big cat with a horse cock
Vulcan nerve pinched like Spock
Got Optimus Prime on lock, that's codeword for the glock
Tuesdon and Tron baby, we on top

Higher than McClintock, I'm laying in a hammock
Facebook slacktivist tellin' me Tupac got shot
Slacktivist, slacktivist, Yea I get money I'm a racktivist 
Yea I got game I got Activision
Jeremy Piven diddlin' dykes on Ritalin

Jeremy Piven, I'm the Joker on Ritalin
You're the Bane of my existence and I hate negative criticism 
Batman on my cock sock, I slap these hoes like Jay Rock
I fill females like a Hot Pocket
And I'll set you off like a V2 Rocket
Bitch actin' like Danica, your Lambo is from Canada
I'm a muslim like Obama, when we up in the Elantra 
Me and Tuesday fuck yo mama
And I shoot sideways like Contra

Barack Hussein Obama-care
I drink fine wine in ancient chairs
So goddamn debonair, Roley on my pubic hairs
3 tickets to Lilith Fair, Ocho Cinco Tupperware
Joey Biden does not care
Afghan-Paki Culture Fair

Tony Romo

LYRICS:

Chicken tender Flojo
Flip-screen Motorolo
Indiana Jo-Jo, man, he's evading the Po-Po
I'm not Mary Soto
You're answer is a no-no
I am Gary Soto and I'd like to paint your photo

So I am Bomberman
She blow it like Taliban
While I'm eatin' marzipan
Yo check out my clan tag
I'm Randy like Stan's dad
You're fired like launch pad
My jokes are fucking terrible...call me Sinbad

I'm takin' a bath while I'm doin' the math 
If it wasn't for church I wouldn't have any class
If it wasn't for merch we wouldn't have any cash
If it wasn't for my weed addiction I wouldn't have a stash
But I do have a stash, I feel like Ms. Havisham 
My mustache got a Roley now
I am from Pakistan

Now I do have a stash
I'm chiefin' on hash tags
This is the House of Wax
Veins pop from fat dabs
I'm gettin' 'sphyxiated 
Your tracks are overrated 
I put you in an open casket

Open casket, put the ball in the basket
DVR, VCR, Big Bang Theory, Yo bro I tape it
Smoked an affidavit with David, It's filled with OG Kush
I smoke with David, his diamonds, they look like Reggie Bush

I look like Reggie Bush, puffin' on bomb Kush
I'm bombin' ya fat tush
Bomberman read books
We gettin' dirty looks 
I'm a white rapper that cooks
This is a chess game and you're my rook 

I am the bomb herb man
Bearded boy look like Taliban
I'm smokin' on some bleu cheese make me look like I'm Jackie Chan
Down to earth but I'm HIGH like a ceiling fan
I'm feeling chicken tender crispy but I still need a tan!

So you asian
Cover you in raisins
No female persuasion I was raised caucasian 
Readin' Wes Craven 
Little kid eatin' crayons
Bustin shots like I'm Palin; call me Joseph Stalin

Everybody love me but my name ain't Raymond
I got hidden cash in a cave in the mothafuckin' Caymans 
Keep it complicated
No need for no layman's 
Thizz is what it is, so the flow might give you abrasions 

Bomberman

LYRICS:

I'm handsome, Scott Baio 
Plump rutabaga look like a tomato 
I-C-Penis like Faygo
All my cousins from Waco

Waco, Wake up pitch and call me Jose Canseco
I stack Benjamins as if I was on the payroll

I'm on the payroll
Backseat of Winnebago and..
I won a bagel at a fare full of Dagos

Sittin' shotty in the 'Bago
Just stepped on a Lego
Imma fuckin' slit yo throat as soon as I'm able

Buy one get one--BOGO
On some tiny bibles
Kill yourself in slo-mo
American Idol

Kill yourself slo-mo
Just ruined my fro-yo
My dick needs some lipo 
Inject it with nitro

Child's play like Tyco 
Tonka trucks--my rival
Married to myself like bridal
Golden shower recital

At the dance recital 
I wanna be like Michael
Jordan's on my tippy toes
You best check my vitals

Wanna be like Michael
Maybe Mikey Jackson
I am dipped in butter
I am Bryan Cranston

Cranston, eatin' roasted pecans 
Chillin' with my cretins 
My dick tastes like cayenne 
It poke your eye out blind, son

I blow marijuana with a bitch named Yolanda
I am coolin' with Jane Fonda 
Smoking blunts up in Uganda
Me and Droey Biden got chemistry; elemental like HONDAS
I'm hangin' with monks who light themselves up like they was made of ganja

Yo it's yo mama, comma, chiefin' on Drobama
We blow like Fujiyama while we doin' the cha-cha
Kano; Internal trauma
Call my dick "Black Mamba"
 Noah got the moolah 
Then I spend it on a pasta panda

I'm in the Droval Office
Guzzle them hot sauces
Stack Benji's like old carcasses 
Then I pounce on a bitch with Parkinson's 
Alibaba the charlatan 
Open Sesame Street again

Charles Bronson dressed in Neon
You are just a peon
Steer the Stallion with my knee on the steering wheel that I pee on
I'm in a Bennigan's in Michigan 
Suckin' a dick again
Rin Tin Tin on Ativan Ritalin
Pakistani holes, I'm drillin' em
 

Underdog

LYRICS:

Flow is slower, it's slower than slowest tortuga
My Hook is Sandy like Randy but I am no Second Shooter
Second Shoota' like Buddah, like I'm up in Kali Yuga
Like Kali Yuga, my buds fat like a beluga 

Upper echelon excellence and I swear ya'll ain't supa
Textbook illustration and I'm sure that ya'll are just doodles
Piss on newspapers like 19 day-old poodles
I broke my diamonds break dancin', Charles Manson be the jeweler 

I'm up in Walmart in a Go-Kart gettin' cheesy like gouda 
I'm the macho man, nacho man, check the cheesy bazooka 
Chin checkin', whippin' shit like the name was Duke Nukem
The Mickey Mouse Trap House
Day and Tron baby school em'

 It's Tron toota 
Six shooter
No Oblongata Medulla 
Up in Bela Coola sittin' next to Medusa
Then I jump in that pussa
In my fresh pair of Pumas
Black kicks, Black hooda and my rags smell like gouda
Real fruit loopa--Oompa Loompa 

I'm up in the dojo
David Carradine BO-GO
Trade black for latin bitches cuz they give up the chocho
Bouncin' penis like pogo
Beat the bells like agogo 
Slip the GHB in my drink porque soy tonto
Los joints son grandes
Los blunts tan gordos
Fuma esta mota porque no bebemos Bordeaux 

My styles graphic like porno
Hot like papas al horno
Terminator wrists up in Costco
Ya'll is chicken like Roscoe's
Insides mushy like waffles
Ya'll Facebook slacktivist--I'm spittin' truth like the gospels
Push the penis past your tonsils
Like Fonzarelli shove the deli thin meat up inside your taco
Cuz my life is modern like Rocko
Smokin' weed with muchachos 
Never need a roller, twist that shit up con mis manos

Halo and  behold, yo
I am Gary Soto
I'm wakin' up extra crispy chicken tender Flojo
I'm sleepin' at the MOMO
I'm eatin' at that bistro
Sheet folds, you be like "Sick crease, bro!"

B-O-G-O
Get one of us for free, ho
Crip walk on the steamboat
Mark Twain was a homo
Bullfrog in yo butthole

I am Doug Funny with more ganja but much less money
Ya'll hoes suck dick like the lead role of that "Brown Bunny"
Chloe Sevigny 
Ya'll can't see me
I'm up in Tahiti
My Lamborghini paint job look like chicken tetrazzini, boy

I'm smokin' bok choy 
High like Leonard Nimoy
Tony Romo, no homo, here's a treat for you fuckboys

I wake up in silk linen 
Mask my face, no indecision
Kill the beat--slick incision 
Motherfuck prohibition
I drank--so drunk need Accuvision
NBA Jam Spiderman
Straight Activision

Split decision, titty-fuck, rototilling
My flow sick--might need amoxicillin 
My dentist go broke--no cavity fillin
Astral projection through the ceiling

Spider silk jeans and the War of Attrition 
Nugs short and fat but dick long like division
Chinese alchemist hook it up with codeine prescription 
Titties fake but head game real like non-fiction

I'm sippin' on that codeine prescription
Wake up hazy--that's a Mac Dre infection
It's a little syphilitic
Leakin' like a spigot
Hate on myself--that's being a bigot 
I'm too legit to quit it

Too legit to quit it I get down like a midget
Three bong rips of crystal meth and I still don't fidget
Three counts, a double hommy, and I still get acquitted 
Haven't stuck a bitch since cuz the knife is still hidden

I got that knife still hidden outside the Krispy Krunchy Chicken
Gotta messenger bird--that's a pigeon 
Sleep walkin' in the street--that's a given
Bird references to keep--Jimmy Gibbon
Now I kill yo ass--Manny Winston
You don't know who that is? He's non-existent 
Life ain't always sweet sometimes it's diabetic
Gettin' metaphysical--Dianetics  
Cthulu Rises
No saggy britches  





Jimmy Gibbon

Lyrics:

Full blown Cutlery
You standin next to me, straight butlery
Choppin maple trees, we gettin syrupy
Took too many hits, I got shaky knees
Then he titty-fuck Drew Brees
Now he's got fat stacks and divides like Siamese
Menage a trois--straight fuckery

I look Chinese with my dirt knees, girl please
When I blow trees say cheese, say cheddar
Eddie bed wetter
Dogs like my style because it tastes like pancetta
My styles cheesy like feta, I shoot off like a new beretta 
Von Ron gotta hot package like he's wearing three sweaters
Smoke a blunt of sour Jilly make me slow like tortuga
Freddy Krueger, in my hotel room, hates the taste of the Ruger

What up, I just stole a Twix
Cuz I'm a fat boy and I need my fix
Call me Barry Bostwick, I roll my joints with chopsticks
I get you faded; anesthetics
Old school UK BJ's and Sussex
Gettin stone cold sittin up in Cold Stone
Straight sippin on my codone
Not a little gnome--I'm grown
I like my ice cream frozone
Kick back, guzzlin Yoohoo
Then I make a fine meal out of couscous 
Gettin loosey goosey call me Gary Busey 
Then I top the Gin off with Juicy
I'm like Lo Pan with a fresh tan
French Montana sleepin in my van
Smokin kush, first name Afghanistan 
Then I put Stan in a box--Pack-a-Stan

I'm codone, How you livin dude?
I gotta sno-cone, Rick Moranis with a tattoo
Pocahontas quasi-voodoo in the bone zone
Chicken tender fruit loops floatin in the ozone
Man, I'm eatin Whonu
Who'd knew I'd like to chew chew?
Rick Moranis with a tattoo
I get nutty off the grape goo
Rick Moranis rockin Fubu, he only eat that
Moo goo gai pan , I'm up in Iran
I'm sellin nice fans my the dozen
I'm bouta buy 2,000 watches and make em kiss like it's nothing
I'm makin raisins in the oven , Donald Faison is my cousin
Donald Faison lost and need lovin
Rick Moranis dress like Danny Glover
Rick Moranis press like 300
Cherokee dude in the cupboard
I'm up in preschool, I'm undercover
I'm tryin to bring justice to these tiny motherfuckers
I'm tryin to get to Sussex all the way from Rutgers 
I the pyrex, you got the Flubber
I got the drugs now let's kill each other
Life's a comedy, we the Smothers Brothers

Casey Tony drop the track like a baby
Then he get acquitted and just bought a new Mercedes 
 Pullin out the lot yellin "Fuck you Haiti!"
I cook my coke like mashed potatoes and gravy
I take my Patrick with a little bit of Shwayze 
Black Friday and bitches goin crazy
Turn an old housewife into a banshee 
She a real fine lady

Man I'm eatin Whonu
Who'd knew I'd like voodoo?
Mark Twain was a baboon 
Pentagram on the tutu
Pentagram Moranis tattoo
John Tesh up in the smoke sesh
Phenobarbital in the work-desk
Make my wrist watches kiss, they call it incest
My life is about cocaine and Pinterest

Cutlery

I'm rollin J's on a round table, Camelot
Now I got flame in my hands, Kakarot
When It comes to Titty Pancakes, I stack a lot
Make sure when I cap your ass I do it on the backdrop 
Burnin in the streets, like an astronaut on blacktop
I make it discreet, got that lowkey on repeat
I'm faded off poppies, I'm drifitin in my jalopy 
Man I smoke like a pound a week, Cookies&Kareem we a masterpiece
Only rock the finest fleece, only sell the flyest meats
Oh, you on a diet? It's time for you to try it
I flash my testes, then I make you Earp like Wyatt
Assassinatin bitches like my name was John Wick
Except instead of using guns I use my fat dick
Your mouth is constipated so you can't talk shit
I'm dodgin' hoes, left and right like I was a pussy prospect

Smokin chron, Don Juan
Strom Thurmand, Stromboli
Foley artist Mick Foley, I am bent like macaroni
Pretty Tony, Joseph Kony, Corleone, all jabronies 
Cram Remma Dan _____ Trendsetter, Eddie Vedder
Strom Thurmond, Stromboli
All my kids yo they got Roleys 
I am rollin like a poley
Super crunchy like biscotti 
Trucker THOT
Put an end to your world like Ragnarok  
Pat Benatar with the magnum cock
I'm hotboxin with the Gamelan
Tramadol, I'm up in the townhall
On Tylenol and alcohol my life is not trivial

Life is not trivial, dining with Odin in a great hall
This shit is Classical like Two Girls and One Cup ya'll
Gettin Gex on the track, stickin to these hoes like EZ-Tek
Mix Codeine with Similac 
Put in the oven the back rack
I say a little prayer like Bacharach 
I pour lean on my apple jacks
I put a lot of weed in my fanny pack cuz I'm cool like that

Schindler on my shit list
Ray's on my rib tips
Glaze all my pink slips in a honey bbq cat piss
Roley on, Roley off
Man I'm stuntin--Hasselhoff
I'm on the beach jackin off
Penis out, Stroganoff 
Dark shades in these dark days make these dark women's legs part ways
I'm jackin off Rachmaninoff 
Mackinaw, that apple sauce
Cock sock in the crock pot, I'm a big cat with a horse cock
Smokin bok choy, puffin crack rock
I'm wearin corduroy, I'm not a Gringott  



 

Blacktop Astronaut

Tron and Tuesday. Pure, Unadulterated Abstract Rap. Cookies&Kareem Is Here. 

Hit Us Up For Collabs. 

Just Kidding, Go Fuck Yourself.

Cookies&Kareem

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