Name: Head Case Story 1.2 Cloud by Cooper Hazen
Duration: 4 min
Description: Restriction experiment #1, ready for sum from peeps.

I like it! 

Some thoughts:

Between 0:40 and 0:50, I'd get rid of the "to the" phrase between the letters & replace it with "and a" or "then a" or anything else. "to the" is too specifically recognizable as having 'been done' -- or, really, is cliche at this point -- and it detracts from the power of the vocal breaking out front for the first time right then. Later on with "left to the right" you can get away with it... here it's disappointing.

The bridge at about 2:25 can't quite sustain the squelchy vocal tone alone and out front for that long... by the end it starts to sound a little 'contrived spooky metal voice number 103', if you get me. I think you need to either  bring some sound back in more quickly -- say at 2:39 or so, right after the last 'give in' -- or else alter the timbre in some way over the entire bridge. I want to say it should be... not honest, exactly... but simple, open... almost ingenuous... but that's totally obscure, subjective, and probably tells you nothing. Sorry, not sure exactly what I'm looking for there. 

Alternately, you could just back it off some, say almost to the distance it is at 3:44; but then you'd lose the impact of the stark vocal at the beginning of the bridge, so I don't know. Both, maybe: use the original until 2:39, then the more distant one at that point. Might be able to get away with it if you overlap the two slightly, so it sounds like something else coming in rather than an unframed modulation of the main vocal.

*shrug* Not sure if I parsed your 'peeps' line correctly as looking for constructive criticism, so excuse me if it's uncalled for.

Love ya Coop : D

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Restriction experiment #1, ready for sum from peeps.

Head Case Story 1.2 Cloud

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Head Case Story 1.2 Cloud

Cooper Hazen

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